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Do you like your lifestyle?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Trailblazer, Aug 8, 2021.

  1. Earthtank

    Earthtank Active Member

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    Yes

    Yes, I like it. Can be better but, also can be worse so I focus on the positive, what I have rather than the negative and what I do not have

    Yes

    Yes

    Yes and Yes.

    Man this test was easy:D
     
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  2. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    I am glad to hear you like your lifestyle even though I am a bit jealous. ;)
    I cannot seem to change my lifestyle although it leaves a lot to be desired. Getting divorced would certainly change it but that is not on the table. It's very complicated.
     
  3. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    That is a good attitude to have. I could say the same. It could be better, but in my case it is not what I don't have that is the problem, it is what I do have and don't want! :D:(
     
    #83 Trailblazer, Aug 9, 2021
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2021
  4. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    I could easily retire today and never have to worry about money ever again but I cannot bring myself to retire so I still work and rush around. My hobby is cats and they do not interfere with my work except when they walk all over my laptop and sit on my mouse pad, making it impossible to do my work. :rolleyes:
     
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  5. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    It seems as if everyone but me likes their lifestyle. What am I doing wrong? o_O
    Does anyone want to give lessons?
     
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  6. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    Don't feel bad, I can't get my husband to agree to or about anything so we basically live parallel existences.
    Although we are always together in the same house, he has his area and I have my area, and once in a while we bump into each other in the kitchen.
     
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  7. infrabenji

    infrabenji Active Member

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    I’m sorry. It sounds incredibly complicated. We’re friends and I’m one lucky s.o.b. I shouldn’t have bragged. 99% of my success is attributed to the mental and emotional support I get from my partner. If you are lacking that it can be really hard to have the self confidence and positive momentum needed to find joy in life on the reg. I’m always here to support you in whatever small way I can even it’s just on an Internet forum. You matter and I value our conversations.
     
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  8. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    No need to feel sorry, as everyone seems to be happy with their life except me. I am used to that, and that is one reason I stay isolated because being around happy people only makes me feel worse, and then I feel guilty because I know it is not their fault that they are happy and I am not. It is even worse around other Baha'is or Christians because they think I should be happy just because I "have God." Have God? I don't see God anywhere except on the pages of a book. I have this discussion with my husband often. ;)

    Incredibly complicated and incredibly painful and I am on my own trying to figure out what to do to make it better because my husband only makes it worse, and he is part of the problem. All my husband ever does is complain about his physical problems, as if men who are 79 years old do not have any "physical problems." He is just darned lucky he does not have something serious like cancer, heart disease or Alzheimers, and he is lucky he is not depressed, but I cannot make him see that. The only peace I have is when he is sleeping or watching TV.

    Anyway, sorry to unload on you, but the only people I have to talk to are on this forum aside from a new counselor I am seeing, but that is only every three weeks since she does not think I have any "serious" psychological problems. That's because she does not see me when I first wake up in the morning and want to die for at least two hours, until I get too busy to think about my life situation. But I will figure it out, I always do because I have a will of iron. I would not still be alive if I didn't.

    Thanks for your kindness and support, you don't know how much that means to me. When i told you a while back that all my best forum friends are atheists I was not kidding, as I get more support from atheists than from believers who expect me to pray and "turn to God." So you see I am in between two worlds.

    On a lighter note, I did make a big change in my lifestyle in 1988 when I went on leave from my federal job of 10 years and moved from California to Washington State to attend graduate school, but I ended up working in a state job because I needed to work full time while attending school in order to support both me and my husband since was not working for the first eight years we were married. Eventually I had to resign from my federal job when I determined I was never going back and since then I have been working for the state, for about 33 years. In 1993 my husband got a state job but he never brought in much money so I have always been the primary breadwinner. He adamantly refused to try to work in a higher-paying job, which would have been necessary were I to quit my state job and start out in a new field for which I went to grad school, and that was the beginning of the end of our marriage about 20 years ago.

    It is much easier to move and change a lifestyle when we are young or even middle-aged. Does anyone think about how much more difficult it is to change a lifestyle when they get to be older? It is much more difficult and most people don't make major changes in old age, except for people who sell their house and downsize or move into a retirement home. But most older people who have the money I have, or even much less money, would be enjoying their retirement, traveling around the country or the world. Instead I am here on this forum most of the time, whenever I am not working. Will this ever change? I have no reason to think so unless God intervenes, fat chance of that.

    That reminds me of my Christian coworker who retired last year, she used to say that God "planned her career." I guess God planned her career right over my career because we both competed for the same job in 2006 and she got the job when I was much much more qualified. I guess God likes her better than me because her life has gone exactly as she wanted it to whereas my life has been hell. Mind you, she and I both had the same job title and we both lost our jobs in 2002 due to state budget cuts, but she stayed afloat in our field by brown-nosing and talking people into hiring her in temp positions, whereas I had to accept the low-paying job in another field that the state put me in for eight years. It helped her to have a husband who had a successful business who could support them both. I never had that so I could not accept temp positions, so I had to struggle to make ends meet for eight years.

    Finally, after eight years of beating the pavement looking for a job in my field, in 2010 I finally got a job in the same agency where that woman had procured a job in 2006, and the only reason that job became available was because another woman retired. Mind you, the job I have now has only been occupied by two other people besides me since 1970. Because it is such a desirable job nobody ever leaves it unless they retire, so I count myself very fortunate even though I had to suffer and struggle for the eight years prior to that. There were over 80 qualified job applicants so I guess I must have been qualified.

    Anyhow, that is all in the past now, I just wonder about these things and how much God is involved or if He is involved at all. I don't just "believe" like most believers, I question what I do not understand.

    Well, now God can step in and plan my retirement, lol. I won't be holding my breath, as I have always gone through this life alone.
     
    #88 Trailblazer, Aug 9, 2021
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2021
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  9. syo

    syo Well-Known Member

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    As for me, I don't bother myself with things I don't like. If I don't like something, I just ignore it. It frees up my time and mind.
     
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  10. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    That is probably my problem, I do mostly things I don't like. I ignore some things I don't like but I don't ignore everything I don't like.
    I don't even know what I do like anymore.
     
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  11. syo

    syo Well-Known Member

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    I let my feelings guide me. If I feel strangely about something, I hold, and let that something pass.
     
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  12. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    I tend to do that too and I also I follow my intuition. Sometimes I just let things go after that rather than bothering with them.
     
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  13. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Retired Ruler
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    Ugh, I wish I could, but that cat puke isn't going to clean itself up... ;)

    Why do you do so many things you don't like?

    Can you list some things you do like? Anything? Don't add any conditions in there (I like this, but... This is fun, but only when, etc), just think of some things you like regardless(if you want to).
     
  14. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    Maybe you just should treat yourself more. Manicures, pedicures, delivery food, open up one of your unopened TVs, etc.

    Of course, that can lead down a materialistic road too, if not done in moderation - so, I'm not sure.
     
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  15. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Rival's Wife

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    It required me to move to a new state before I was even able to start.
     
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  16. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    You tell me and then we will both know. :rolleyes:
    Part of the reason is that nobody else is going to do them (like the hubby). He would not know what a checkbook looked like if it hit him in that face!

    Part of the reason is that I feel obligated to answer all my posts and some of them are contentious and time-consuming. Do I like that? No, not really, but for whatever reason I feel obligated.
    I could talk to the counselor about this but I have too many other things I really need to talk about and only a limited amount of time.
    The cats, but that is pretty much it. I don't have any time for anything else I might like so why bother thinking about these things?
    Even if I had time, I don't have anyone to do things with, like travel.
    Fun? I have no idea what that is. All I know is work.
     
  17. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    I really don't have any interest in any of these things, and that's why the TV are still in the boxes.
    There is probably no danger of that for me, I need more materialism, but I just cannot get into things.
    The only things I like about in the material world are animals and nature and people.
     
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  18. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    If you mean Indiana to California, that would do it, but I like Washington State and I am too old to move.
     
  19. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Retired Ruler
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    As for the first portion, I can't tell you why you do stuff you don't like, 'cause I don't know what it is you're doing to make any sense of it! Is it an obligation? When I'm going something I don't like, that's usually why.

    As for all you knowing is work, why? You have said repeatedly on the forums that you have more money than you know what to do with. Why are you working? Do you enjoy the work?
     
  20. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    Yes, whether it IS an obligation or not, I FEEL like it is an obligation. Some of it is, some of it isn't.
    Being a Baha'i really sucks and there is nothing in it for me, nothing, except maybe after I die. I do not even like God.
    I am working because I don't know what I would be doing if I was not working. I have no family or friends, nobody to go places with, and I don't like traveling alone. All I have are cats who have been dying all around me. My husband does not want to do anything but sleep, a few chores, and watch TV. He would not even care if I went out with another man, but I would never do that.
     
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