_claire_
New Member
Christian-eze: terms used within certain circles of Christians that are hard to understand or just very loaded with Christian-specific meanings.
I am doing an experiment to see how capable I am of communicating my story without Christian-eze. Please review, and let me know if any terms were used that you think are vague or need further definition.
I was was always a child who desired to please. I wanted to achieve a standard of perfection - not just in the eyes of my parents, but in my own eyes as well. I am an idealist by personality and so, to me, perfection should have been achievable through effort. I was also aware that the image of perfection was more important to me than true perfection. For instance, I used to lie about brushing my teeth at night. As long as mom thought I was being perfect and I thought I was being smart, I was golden. Not that I processed it at this level when I was 8 or 9 years old, but looking back I can understand. Although I desperately desired to achieve perfection, I was keenly aware that I fell short. I could not live up to my own standards. I remember being furious at myself out of shame. I could hardly function if I was caught red-handed in any sort of bad behavior.
I realized that God was holy as a result of being raised in a Christian home that taught me such, but also as a result of having an awareness that there was SOME standard I could not live up to. It made sense that that standard would be the Creator of the world. I understood that if God was holy, there had to be a punishment for falling short of that standard. Falling short, or going against His perfect standard is where wrong occurs. Wrong has to be dealt with. In myself, I hated it. I hated that I could not muster up enough oomph to be perfect - even by my own standard.
I felt totally unloveable and unworthy, even as an 8 or 9 year old. I was developing strong self-loathing patterns, deep struggles with shame, and a sincere belief that nobody would want me if they knew how messed up I really was. My mother and father shared with me that the Bible talks about God not only being perfect, but having a solution and explanation for my inability to be perfect. They told me of how God had created mankind out of a desire to have relationship with us and to let us share in His goodness, but that He gave us a choice to serve Him or ourselves. When we chose ourselves, that brought wrong into the world. Because He is holy, He has to punish that wrong. But because He is also gracious and merciful, He sent His only Son - fully God, fully man, to pay the penalty of death for our wrongdoing. His Son lived a perfect life here on earth, according to God’s standard, and then was put to death for the wrongs of the world. Because the Son is also God, he was able to rise from the dead. My parents showed me how He did this to provide a way for people to be forgiven of the wrong that is in them and come back into relationship with God who is holy.
They also explained to me that I had a choice. I could choose to continue to rely on myself and forever fall short of the standard, or I could choose to believe in God’s Son and the work He did in living perfectly, dying for wrong, and rising again. If I believed the former, I would need to take the punishment for wrong upon myself and then would spend eternity separate from relationship with God. If I believed in the latter, God would accept the Son’s payment in my place and I could have right relationship with God and go to heaven when I die.
My mom had had me and my sisters memorize passages of Scripture growing up. Specifically Psalm 139. That really spoke to me as someone who felt like her whole existence was a shameful mistake. Psalm 139 talks about God creating us on purpose, and having plans for us. The idea that God really wanted me, and wanted to even pay for my wrong so that I wouldn’t have to live self-loathing, that meant the world to me. It made me want to be in relationship with God. I saw that if I chose to believe in the Son of God, I would be given grace eternally for the wrong I had done - because He was there to take my punishment.
So I believed that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, really did come and live perfectly and die in my place - taking the punishment for my wrong. I believed that He also rose again from the dead, showing that He could conquer death and therefore has authority to forgive me. So when I believed, it was done. God immediately counted me as perfect and counted my wrong as paid for by Christ. Once I really got it - the idea of Christ being a substitution for me, getting what I deserved, I was sure that it was a done deal.
Believing that I have been forgiven of my wrong eternally has not always meant that I don’t forget it daily. There have been days, even seasons where I have dealt again with the severe self-loathing, the overwhelming desire to be seen as perfect, and the shame of failing. But since having believed in what Christ has done, I have been able to come out of those times through choosing to stand on what the Bible says is true vs. how I feel. If I feel worthless, I remember that God said that He created me with and on purpose and that He wants relationship with me. If I feel shame, I remember that God has counted my wrong as paid for. My life is new now because I have a relationship with God where I believe what He says is true, and He provides comfort and peace.
I am doing an experiment to see how capable I am of communicating my story without Christian-eze. Please review, and let me know if any terms were used that you think are vague or need further definition.
I was was always a child who desired to please. I wanted to achieve a standard of perfection - not just in the eyes of my parents, but in my own eyes as well. I am an idealist by personality and so, to me, perfection should have been achievable through effort. I was also aware that the image of perfection was more important to me than true perfection. For instance, I used to lie about brushing my teeth at night. As long as mom thought I was being perfect and I thought I was being smart, I was golden. Not that I processed it at this level when I was 8 or 9 years old, but looking back I can understand. Although I desperately desired to achieve perfection, I was keenly aware that I fell short. I could not live up to my own standards. I remember being furious at myself out of shame. I could hardly function if I was caught red-handed in any sort of bad behavior.
I realized that God was holy as a result of being raised in a Christian home that taught me such, but also as a result of having an awareness that there was SOME standard I could not live up to. It made sense that that standard would be the Creator of the world. I understood that if God was holy, there had to be a punishment for falling short of that standard. Falling short, or going against His perfect standard is where wrong occurs. Wrong has to be dealt with. In myself, I hated it. I hated that I could not muster up enough oomph to be perfect - even by my own standard.
I felt totally unloveable and unworthy, even as an 8 or 9 year old. I was developing strong self-loathing patterns, deep struggles with shame, and a sincere belief that nobody would want me if they knew how messed up I really was. My mother and father shared with me that the Bible talks about God not only being perfect, but having a solution and explanation for my inability to be perfect. They told me of how God had created mankind out of a desire to have relationship with us and to let us share in His goodness, but that He gave us a choice to serve Him or ourselves. When we chose ourselves, that brought wrong into the world. Because He is holy, He has to punish that wrong. But because He is also gracious and merciful, He sent His only Son - fully God, fully man, to pay the penalty of death for our wrongdoing. His Son lived a perfect life here on earth, according to God’s standard, and then was put to death for the wrongs of the world. Because the Son is also God, he was able to rise from the dead. My parents showed me how He did this to provide a way for people to be forgiven of the wrong that is in them and come back into relationship with God who is holy.
They also explained to me that I had a choice. I could choose to continue to rely on myself and forever fall short of the standard, or I could choose to believe in God’s Son and the work He did in living perfectly, dying for wrong, and rising again. If I believed the former, I would need to take the punishment for wrong upon myself and then would spend eternity separate from relationship with God. If I believed in the latter, God would accept the Son’s payment in my place and I could have right relationship with God and go to heaven when I die.
My mom had had me and my sisters memorize passages of Scripture growing up. Specifically Psalm 139. That really spoke to me as someone who felt like her whole existence was a shameful mistake. Psalm 139 talks about God creating us on purpose, and having plans for us. The idea that God really wanted me, and wanted to even pay for my wrong so that I wouldn’t have to live self-loathing, that meant the world to me. It made me want to be in relationship with God. I saw that if I chose to believe in the Son of God, I would be given grace eternally for the wrong I had done - because He was there to take my punishment.
So I believed that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, really did come and live perfectly and die in my place - taking the punishment for my wrong. I believed that He also rose again from the dead, showing that He could conquer death and therefore has authority to forgive me. So when I believed, it was done. God immediately counted me as perfect and counted my wrong as paid for by Christ. Once I really got it - the idea of Christ being a substitution for me, getting what I deserved, I was sure that it was a done deal.
Believing that I have been forgiven of my wrong eternally has not always meant that I don’t forget it daily. There have been days, even seasons where I have dealt again with the severe self-loathing, the overwhelming desire to be seen as perfect, and the shame of failing. But since having believed in what Christ has done, I have been able to come out of those times through choosing to stand on what the Bible says is true vs. how I feel. If I feel worthless, I remember that God said that He created me with and on purpose and that He wants relationship with me. If I feel shame, I remember that God has counted my wrong as paid for. My life is new now because I have a relationship with God where I believe what He says is true, and He provides comfort and peace.
Can you define god and the word holy as it applies to god?