Subduction Zone
Veteran Member
First date, the person asking should pay. Sooner or later it would be best if you altered in paying. One cannot advocate for equal pay, equal rights, etc, and then expect the man to always pay.
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Dating
- Thread starter savagewind
- Start date
exchemist
Veteran Member
That seems rather old-fashioned to me, but I am not American and these things are culture-dependent. As a man, I would of course try to pay, but I would find it a bit odd if the woman did not make some attempt, which I could courteously decline. Ideally of course she might suggest she would pay the next time - in which case I'd know I was off to a good start. And then we would alternate, more or less.
Nowadays, given the earning power of the sexes is equal or nearly so, I think these old protocols need to be updated (hahaha).
In Italy we are more pragmatic...
If the two people on a date are both students, and live on a tight budget for example, each of them pays for themselves ( it is called the Roman way, here
)...If the man is rich...it is right he pays for both.
Subduction Zone
Veteran Member
In the U.S. that is called "Dutch treat". Sorry if any from the Netherlands are offended.In Italy we are more pragmatic...
If the two people on a date are both students, and live on a tight budget for example, each of them pays for themselves ( it is called the Roman way, here
If the man is rich...it is right he pays for both.
I always called it "going Dutch"
I would, at least on a first date, suggest the one doing the asking pays.
Sure that could give the impression the payer is paying for more than just dinner, that needs sorting out from the start.
I should add that its always polite to ask about splitting the bill. Or insisting on paying for the wine.
dianaiad
Well-Known Member
My daughters are not going out with you.
Epic Beard Man
Bearded Philosopher
LOL like you would know what I look like or know that I'm on RF.....You wouldn't know none of that so you couldn't control fate...LOL
dianaiad
Well-Known Member
Nope. I just know my daughters.
Epic Beard Man
Bearded Philosopher
Um, if you say so. You act like I'm going to blatantly say "hey you're gonna get me laid" I do have tact. I'm really a nice guy outside the net and I'm fun I don't intend to have intercourse it just happens but I'm respectful I'm not some jerk out here but hey (shrug).
Epic Beard Man
Bearded Philosopher
I like your thinking Christine....I think most considerate women think like this. If I'm paying and she cop the drinks or tip is fine with me it's considerate.
dianaiad
Well-Known Member
Oh, I'm sure.
It's just that I don't think my daughters would think you're 'all that,' is all.
Mind you, I think they'd LIKE you just fine, but they are both pushing forty and haven't been really p (hey...the 'see' button on my keyboard isn't working! It's amazing just how mu h one an type without using a '' ' , isn't it? ) ANY way, my daughters are pi ky. They've managed to make it to where they are without having sex with everybody and sundry, and, er.....so did I.
On the other hand, if marriage is an option.....but no. Not then either.
Well, Goodie for you.
Is your keyboard attached to a PC? If so you can hold down the alt key, type 99 on the numeric keypad then release the alt key.
Not sure it works for other machines
Here is a full list of alt codes
Special Characters — Alt Keyboard Sequences
Epic Beard Man
Bearded Philosopher
They've never seen what I look like so how do you know? Or are you saying they're not attracted to African-American guys?
Epic Beard Man
Bearded Philosopher
Well, Goodie for you.
Yup it's good being a single man.
In Italy we are more pragmatic...
If the two people on a date are both students, and live on a tight budget for example, each of them pays for themselves ( it is called the Roman way, here
If the man is rich...it is right he pays for both.
I think that's pretty much how it goes in practice around here, too. If two people like each other and want to spend time with each other, then the question of "who pays" should be more a question of practicality than some kind of ritualistic tradition.
In practice, I think more people are pragmatic about it more often than not, and it seems the only time it becomes an issue is when people talk about it in the abstract, such as in dating columns, social media, etc.
Some people still consider that "it's the man's duty" to pay on dates, just because it's traditional and how things have generally been. The idea that "whoever does the asking should do the paying" might also be questionable, since it's also "the man's duty" to do the asking.
But a chief complaint nowadays is that men aren't fulfilling their "duties." I've heard some people lament that "chivalry is dead" and similar complaints. I've heard women complain about guys who are cheap, who don't want to pay on dates.
On the other hand, there are some guys who absolutely insist on paying - as it would be seen as emasculating and quite embarrassing for a man to let a woman pay on a date. But such an attitude would be deemed "sexist" and "chauvinistic."
dianaiad
Well-Known Member
THANKS!!! Haven't tried it yet. Wanted to say thank you first.
dianaiad
Well-Known Member
OK, let me see if it works...press the alt key, type 99 and release the alt key. nope.
my keyboard has definitely gone south. The number lo k doesn't work, either. Ü
AH HA!!!!! c GOT IT! The dang keyboard needed me to press the RIGHT 'alt' key, not the left one. Dang conservative keyboard. Been around me too long.
put that page you gave me on my bookmark ribbon. I'm going to need it...and it gives me all the fancy characters I need for linguistic stuff.
THANKS!!!!