Dating ,romance and sexism and men journal

[Riders]

Well I thought my leg pain was from wrestles leg syndrome, they squeeze by themselves meaning movement that I don't do then go into bad pain.I think it maybe this new chair I got a few months ago. It was so bad this morning I couldn't sit in my chair. I have been laying on my couch.

Last time this happened I thought it was my psych meds I quit taking them now I'm not so sure. I hope my psychiatrist isn't mad.

I may save my new stimulus check for a new chair. I hope we get them in August, I know there's been a hold up but.
I did walk for 7 minutes 1 minute at a time yesterday. I also did Puja and KIRTAN with Hare krishnas through facebook video, got to sing Hare Krishna chant. It was good, there was somewhere else late night,I also did it. I may do that again tonight I am not sure I see myself going to Hare Krishna, not for awhile till I really drop some of this weight.

But I like chanting at home, reading the Bhagavad Gita.I also want to go back to my Buddhist groups through Livetream too learn to meditate better.

 

[Riders]

Well,I think I'm gonna have to get me some hemp oil 5000 grams or Miligrams this month to help with the pain. I'm doing ok with my legs now.

I went to a Zoom AA meeting that was my Moms group for the first time tonight. Thanks God, it was refreshing after not seeing anyone's face except my Home Health and Nurse for the past 5 months. Geez! I am more relaxed more, I sure did miss My Moms AA meetings, I'm gonna start going regular to that, I am more relaxed now. I migyht try to find some Zoom SAA meetings too.

 

[Prim969]

I have about 5 different points and maybe even debates I wanted to bring up with this thread. However I cant verbally I don't think express myself so that it will all sound like a good debate so Id rather start keeping a journal about it.

So if anyone wants to respond anyways feel free to put your input. So the first thing I will talk about is sexism.
A couple of things that drive me mad about men.Men who put their lives or at leaste their finances at risk of being scammed by dating young hot women.

I'm aware that some of these young women who go for older men, may not kill and may not drain the mans pocket book of millions, I'm nott alking about women who just live off these guys and get spoiled.

I'm talking about Bruce Cleland and other older men I have seen their stories on Investigation Discovery because they got themselves killed.

The thing of it is Investigation Discovery I guess has to be kind and compassionet to victems who are related to the murder victim. SO therefore They have to say good things about them even though they were total *** holes in real life.

Bruce Cleland was apparently one of the top 100 richest men in AMerica like 10 or 15 years ago.He was 44 and was worth over a hundred million dollars.

He had never had sex or dated anyone and was shy. he met this lady who was 24, 20 years younger, geourgeous beauty who worked at a spice stand and was making descent money in sales. He emt her and fell for her.

SHe started spending his money, he gave her houses, 1 mansion over 2 million bucks in her name, millions in cars trips and jewlry. Give me a break his friends knew she was bad news and didn't confront the situation.

AT one point she stole over a hundred thousand dollars for a bunch of cosmetic surgery.

It was horrible. he found out about it and let her do it. The thing is he was so addicted to the idea of being married to a young beauty, hes insane, I mean the guy couldn't open his eyes to see he was being taken even after he found out she had stole that much money.

Its crazy, nutty, who, what guy would spend that much money to win a lady? She gave othe rpeople the creeps they sat there said nothing.
But still he was completely sexist, he just had to have his 24 year old Barbie doll. Of course she killed him for the money.

SHe got caught thank God, black widow in jail hopfully forever.

I just cant believe how sexists some men are, its as if he thought his money could buy him a beautiful woman geez!

ANyways got lots to say about dating tomarrow.

I don’t believe age had much to do with the matter. I think more so a deceitful heart that was the cause. A deceitful heart does not discriminate against any age. You either choose good or you choose bad. As to the social status of the older. Their warmth, wisdom and guidance does mostly bring happiness to all.

 

[Riders]

I don’t believe age had much to do with the matter. I think more so a deceitful heart that was the cause. A deceitful heart does not discriminate against any age. You either choose good or you choose bad. As to the social status of the older. Their warmth, wisdom and guidance does mostly bring happiness to all.

I disagree, age had everything to do with it. She was looking for a victim, do you really think she would choose a young good-looking guy to steal all his money and kill?

No she chose an older man who would not have the self esteem enough to say no to her, an older vulnerable man who could not turn down the promise of sex from a hot young woman .He was addicted to her and to love.

I am fully aware I am blaming the victim here and it's not fare, but I am so sick of these predators trying to take advantage of us older folks. I am only 53 but and obese and I have had enough of the scam artists from Nigeria trying to convince me they are service mien military fighters. I never got scammed because I saw through it. but I never go to dating services anymore.

They are crawling I say, crawling with predators trying to take advantage of poor old ladies like me and Bruce Cleland types. I am disgusted by it .I did find a man friend but we are just texting friends. But we are both paranoid about being scammed, he is 60, he is worried I might turn into a prostitute if he meets me. We don't even feel safe with each other.

 

[Prim969]

I disagree, age had everything to do with it. She was looking for a victim, do you really think she would choose a young good-looking guy to steal all his money and kill?

No she chose an older man who would not have the self esteem enough to say no to her, an older vulnerable man who could not turn down the promise of sex from a hot young woman .He was addicted to her and to love.

I am fully aware I am blaming the victim here and it's not fare, but I am so sick of these predators trying to take advantage of us older folks. I am only 53 but and obese and I have had enough of the scam artists from Nigeria trying to convince me they are service mien military fighters. I never got scammed because I saw through it. but I never go to dating services anymore.

They are crawling I say, crawling with predators trying to take advantage of poor old ladies like me and Bruce Cleland types. I am disgusted by it .I did find a man friend but we are just texting friends. But we are both paranoid about being scammed, he is 60, he is worried I might turn into a prostitute if he meets me. We don't even feel safe with each other.

Rider I’m sure that scammers and predators do abound in all age groups but so does love and happiness as well. So I have no problem with age. Actually the older ones do know how to treat you well and really know how to stimulate your mind with so much excitement from their many experiences in life. As to your obesity. Well all do like different. Some do like skinny some do like athletic while others do like extra big. You do look much pretty with nice smile.: ) Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder they do say. I do wish you well in your search .

 

[Riders]

Rider I’m sure that scammers and predators do abound in all age groups but so does love and happiness as well. So I have no problem with age. Actually the older ones do know how to treat you well and really know how to stimulate your mind with so much excitement from their many experiences in life. As to your obesity. Well all do like different. Some do like skinny some do like athletic while others do like extra big. You do look much pretty with nice smile.: ) Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder they do say. I do wish you well in your search .

That's true I agree and yes some women fall for older men. But it doesn't change the fact that this woman spend several millions of his dollars and even got caught by him stealing some of his money: She also had a bachelorette party where she slept with several different people and he still married her. he writing was loud and clear, there were many red signs and he did not read them.

So he was still being sexist and also I really think he was caught up in some sort of love addiction because that is completely crazy. What man would let a woman take advantage of him, he bought her several boats a yacht a castle many diamonds jewelry trips all sorts of things.

So your not gonna change my mind about him. But I do see your point. I personally have a younger looking face and older men are attracted to younger women quite often so there are some men attracted to me.
I am still talking to my guy friend Randal who is 60 years old, I have sent him my picture, the fact that we are opposites in politics but get along, I think that's in part because he is a little bit attracted to me.

So I am not saying I am just an ugly duckling. Some older men are attracted to me, I have young baby face so. But I do not trust younger men. But these guys on the internet scamming us older ladies are a lot of them from Nigeria and different countries. I don't know about Nigeria but in many countries thin is pretty so they may see me as an easier target not because of my face but because of my weight.

That's my guess. On the other hand pretty women have been scammed too. But me being 53 and obese, yea, I am sure that is something that scammers take into consideration, the older we are the easier the scam.

But there's no telling what's going on in their mind, but because I am 53 and obese I do feel more vulnerable.

My hope is that men who read this to be impressed not to let themselves get into this type of situation with a woman just taking and taking and taking. if she's that interested in your money she's not worth it.I have younger men who have responded to me too, I don't trust younger men.

If I choose someone I would rather choose someone between 55 and 65.

 

[Riders]

This is me right now right before my Bha'i study..

 

[Riders]

So I now have a cuddling buddy.I placed an ad out for a makeout buddy on craigslist between the age of 65 and 72.

Truth be it known I did give him a hand job and made out.He is 72.I have a bunch of other offers But I have physical boundaries I can't have crossed because of my sexual addiction.I can't have sexual pleasure

It causes pain afterwards. I'm worried if I try out some of the other men they may not respect my boundaries and infact maybe freaks or might beat me up.Its craigslist it's dangerous.

Paul is a 72 year old man who walks slowly. He's not big.Hes lost weight but has had open heart surgery.So even though he's 19 years older then me I'm keeping him.

Being 72 he's probably grateful to get someone so much younger so he's respecting my boundaries well.Hes probably too desperate like me to not respect my boundaries.

He's making me some good company.Im happy to have Paul.

 

[Riders]

I got 2 new jobs but I think one of them may have fired me I am not sure. I was suppose to do a book review for his short story but but he wants me to work after midnight, I was sleepy didn't do a good job, mis spelled some words.

I did it on my phone without gramerly and I don't know how to spell gramarly lol . But I messed up all over the place. But I did do a good job at internet research for him so he may keep me on to do internet research,I don't know.

Anyways I got another job that should figure with my one book I review for this lady once a month and this job I pay me either 50 a month or 75 a month plus if I promote my how to video right I might get more then that.. I figure with my other job it should be between 62 and 85 a month and if I get anything for my video could be more then that over 100 I hope.

I work for a cosmetic company doing product review. I got 25 for my last one I hope I get 2 more this month for 75. If I put up a review with a picture seller feedback ask a question to the seller put up an ad with picture on facebook and twitter I get 15 bucks.

If I make a video and publish it on youtube like I did a how to apply fce blush from my cosmetic company I get 10 more dollars.If I get 10000 reviews I get 100 dollars. If I get more thn a 1000 I think I get like a dollar per 100 so if I get 1500 that would be 5 extra dollars.He said I could promote it at facebook and the ells groups on facebook. Ill try it I don't know if it'll work,I might not get nothing but hey I might as well try it.

Anyways 75 a month is good enough. I told my sister this morning if I was going to my old church Pentecostal church,my as^ would be in big trouble, me work for a cosmetics company? That's a big no no!They would take me a side and slap my face for it.

I could be in trouble with my sex addicts anonymous group if I did his the wrong way but I won't. Wrong way is putting on something triggering tight cloths or slap the makeup on dark and heavy.. No I will be conservative less is better, nice natural looking makeup on my face.

 

[Twilight Hue]

So I've got new post to put up. As a recovering sex addict I have a hard time with sex. I have some urinary tract pain with masterbation and my breasts . It's bad pain so I don't want to have my nipples messed with nor to have any orgasms. Now most men are not going to accept that so but I've been looking anyways. I found a guy 2 weeks ago. His name is Tyler and he's only 37 guess I can't point a finger at Bruce Cleland sense I'm 50 ha. Tyler is disabled though. He had cancer in his testicles he had his testicles removed and 80 percent of his penis so he has a tiny micro penis. He can't have sex or children. He can't hard but his micro swells up if he gets excited and he masterbate. He's been really desperate because he doesn't get out much either he's lonely. He has to give himself shots. So he has had a couple of women accusing him of being sex change cause his penis is so tiny. It doesn't matter to me if I'm attracted to the person and Tyler is cute. But however I believe him that he's had hate put on him and that he was born a man. I actually researched it on the net the truth is most sex changes are done on men becoming women. There are very few men who use to be women. Besides it doesn't make sense that he can't get a hard on. I do believe him that religious women have rejected him because of his penis it's just hate. Poor guy can't get out much either. He's weak. But we're only planning on him meeting me on my porch the first time to talk only.well be friends for awhile at first no rush. I worry that my sisters won't be accepting of him so I'm not sharing the whole truth with them.

Sex no doubt is fun but it is not everything.

Especially when health issues surfaces and takes away or diminishes the joys of sex, the alternative however can be just as passionate with intimacy of the mind and the presence of having good company of people you like.

Sometimes its a breath of fresh air not having sexual issues and one is free to explore other venues that can be just as passionate in its own way.

 

[Riders]

I got 2 new jobs but I think one of them may have fired me I am not sure. I was suppose to do a book review for his short story but but he wants me to work after midnight, I was sleepy didn't do a good job, mis spelled some words.

I did it on my phone without gramerly and I don't know how to spell gramarly lol . But I messed up all over the place. But I did do a good job at internet research for him so he may keep me on to do internet research,I don't know.

Anyways I got another job that should figure with my one book I review for this lady once a month and this job I pay me either 50 a month or 75 a month plus if I promote my how to video right I might get more then that.. I figure with my other job it should be between 62 and 85 a month and if I get anything for my video could be more then that over 100 I hope.

I work for a cosmetic company doing product review. I got 25 for my last one I hope I get 2 more this month for 75. If I put up a review with a picture seller feedback ask a question to the seller put up an ad with picture on facebook and twitter I get 15 bucks.

If I make a video and publish it on youtube like I did a how to apply fce blush from my cosmetic company I get 10 more dollars.If I get 10000 reviews I get 100 dollars. If I get more thn a 1000 I think I get like a dollar per 100 so if I get 1500 that would be 5 extra dollars.He said I could promote it at facebook and the ells groups on facebook. Ill try it I don't know if it'll work,I might not get nothing but hey I might as well try it.

Anyways 75 a month is good enough. I told my sister this morning if I was going to my old church Pentecostal church,my as^ would be in big trouble, me work for a cosmetics company? That's a big no no!They would take me a side and slap my face for it.

I could be in trouble with my sex addicts anonymous group if I did his the wrong way but I won't. Wrong way is putting on something triggering tight cloths or slap the makeup on dark and heavy.. No I will be conservative less is better, nice natural looking makeup on my face.

 

[Riders]

Sex no doubt is fun but it is not everything.

Especially when health issues surfaces and takes away or diminishes the joys of sex, the alternative however can be just as passionate with intimacy of the mind and the presence of having good company of people you like.

Sometimes its a breath of fresh air not having sexual issues and one is free to explore other venues that can be just as passionate in its own way.

Thanks.

 

[Riders]

So I have had a few people ask me how to get reading review jobs. i just applied for another one. You cna find them plus product review jobs and sometimes telephone mystery shopper jobs at Craigslist under gigs, either writing, computer, or creative. There are also jobs for writers under jobs.

I got a temporary telephone mystery gig job this week. Im only getting 15 bucks for 3 jobs and I don't know how long it will last.

All together i will have made 80bucks this month along with my product review telephone shops and book review job.''

I am trying to get more jobs. I just applied for another book review job on craigslist.Don't know if I will get it, I am not a good writer but some of these places don't require good writer just normal writing.

But I am trying to get up enough gigs to get between 100 and 200 a month at least maybe more.

In the old days like 3 years ago and later, there use to be easy telemarketing jobs where you could work 10 to 15 hours a week. We had a bunch of or several thrift stores for ages who would let you call people at home for house hold items and clothing for thei charity. I ot paid between 1 and 3 dollars a load.

I could make between 1 and 250 dollars month. About 2 or 3 years ago recently thy all quit doing that program and I don't know why. maybe i't's the economy people quit giving? if anyone has an answer let me know.There use to be other telemarketing jobs you could call 3 hours a day too.

I am too stressed to pick up the phone for 6 hous a dy but most telemarketing jobs want me for 5 to 8 hours a dy which is too much..

But anyways, I got my gigs.If anyone has info on why so many telemarketing jobs have disappeared feel free to comment.

 

[Riders]

COntinuation fro above post. I use to work for the SPCA and Cancer federation for along time time calling for donations at home. A lot of disabled people depended on it . I hope our society gets more job the disabled can do but with Covid out there I doubt we will see much relief.

 

[Riders]

Well I was accepted into another phone mystery shopper group. Now I have enough work between today and tomorrow to add up to about 108 dollar for this month. That is good for me. If I can make between 100 and 250 a month Im doing ok.

I got a free neck pillow from a group who wants me to make a video about sleeping with it. i am going to make the video I just hope it's good enough for them to use.. If it is I will get paid 70 extra dollars next month! I hope its good enough!

 

[Riders]

Of course you know that I was questioned on the validity of putting up an add on craigslist for a male spiritual friend to alk to about spirituality.. As odd as it is there is another guy on craigslist asking for a talking buddy who can talk about philosophy and politics. So you see all kinds of requests under activities in community at Craigslist.

I got use to having my Pentecostal brothers witnessing to me about church. you kno why they don't have normal sexual boundaries right, as in women should witness to women and men to men?They have bad boundaries and the reason is this. it's the same reason the UPC Church , only sends a Pastor and no church women into do a Pentecostal church service at the old folks homes.

The normal practice for churches is to have a group with both men and women when they go to minister at old folks homes, the UPC church sends one or 2 men and that's it.

It's not because the men are trying to sin with women most of them are good guys. But they know and then knew with me the closer I got to know the women with no makeup jewelry long hair and wearing long dresses all the time only, the more I would realize up front how dark and weird they're rules for women are.

So they slowly got me ue to thei culture. So at old folks homes they don't want people seeing they're weird women with the waist length hair and hair tied up in a bun and long ugly dresses no makeup and no jewelry..

So the UPC churches not all but many of them find no fault in men giving bible studies to women and
personally witnessing to women. They're women keep their mouths shut!

 

[Riders]

Well the reason I'm not writing much right now is because this.I ordered a cheap tango tab and immediately within a month of getting it it broke down. i researched tango tab and apparently it tends to do this so I will be saving up at least 250 or 275 dollars this time or 300 maybe and getting a new computer.

 

[Riders]

I have a telemarketing soft sells job.Its fairly easy getting hit leads and requests for qoutes. Its nice helps me stay busy.I ts nice to have something to focus on. It adds some structure to my day.

I can't sleep so I'm up early. I'm buying a printer instead of computer do I can run off my leads next month. I

I've lost ten pounds but it's faster I gained 22 pounds back.Im eating three small meals a day only but drinking 2 or 3 cokes a day with it which is alot less then what I usually drink. 2 or 3 cans of cokes 24 to 36 ounces compared to a two liter I usually drink has 67 ounces in it.So I'm drinking less.

 

[Riders]

Well me and John are talking again.We quit talking because of the financial aspect of me spending too much money on him coming out here

But I think after the covid we will work on the financial part to get him out here do we spend time together.Were platonic but not platonic depending on your definition.

We make out but without sex sexless making out holding hands kissing hugging.Hes my make out buddy.

He can't drive he has asperger's so he has to take a bus from Grand prairie.

Anyways it's nice chit chatting with him again on facebook.

 

[Riders]

Here I am on a rant about 12 step programs again. I heard in OA a woman talking yesterday that she had friends who were not in 12 step programs and most of them were.

When an addict first comes to 12 step meetings should he not be dependent on the group for making friends?I think if you have to go to the extreme of only having AA friends or OA friends and church friends then you should do that if it keeps you sober.

But I don't believe you should expect other people to go by those rules.

If you keep the rules forever and never reach out or befriend non AA people so be it but don't take attitude towards others who lead lifestyles and cultures you don't. We can go to AA and belong to different life styles.

But some people have an attitude about it. AA teaches us principles before personalities which means to put your own program first before getting into personal lives of other people you don't like especially in meetings.

I know of many AA folks who got their belief in God through AA like my Mom did developed a relationship with their higher power and some were and are atheists.
In my experience at my Moms AA meetings in casual talk before and after meetings when in the past one man discussed religion with me and I told him I was going to visit a Buddhist temple. He said thats ok but why would you, I can study Buddha and all the spiritual leaders at home but go to AA for his fellowship and meetings.

There is a famous Buddhist AA book about the 12 steps doing them with an emphasis on Buddha. So we do have many open minds in AA but some thing everyone should believe in their own God but now associate with religions, just use AA . Ill put the name of the book up here soon.

But I was asked to go to church by many people at my Moms AA group and no one has issues with that.I never argue about it but I can see that if its a Jewish Temple or Christian church no one has issues about those folks openly speaking about it.

Its like an attitude.

I saw this movie Thanks For Sharing its a good realistic movie about Sex Addicts anonymous except some of it is not true with SAA. But anyways yea a guy on there who had 5 years of of sobriety in SAA
was dating a lady who was a cancer survivor who was using running and eating healthy as a lifestyle I guess to stay away from cancer.

WHen they were in bed together she missed her evening job and wanted to make love and he wasn't in the mood he said Im sorry I knows thats your drug running, she said what? I take offense to that too, its an attitude, she's not wrapped up in AA culture and kind of tobecontinued