Dating ,romance and sexism and men journal

[Riders]

Of course all that stuff that happened with Robert is in the past. I know its bigoted for me to say all big men are sexist. I apologize if I offended any of you big guys out there.

However there are other issues with dating big men. Im down to 255 now. Dating someone who weighs like 400 or 500 may turn into a situation where I would be the care taker.

Its also a bad situation where I would be tempted to gain all my weight back as well. My sister would say well what about they don't want to be your care taker either.

However that being said i was down to 290 when I started seeing Randall. If I get back up to 300 or more i will probably quit dating.

 

[Miles]

I know its bigoted for me to say all big men are sexist.

No it isn't. We're all socialized into a sexist society and it's fine to point that out

 

[Riders]

In still with Randall. Sense the weather has been bad we've been both sick its been 3 weeks sense we've seen each other.Itll probably. Be next weekend not this weekend before I seebhim.

Has a farmer.hes got stuff to do sense there's been so much rain and use out. so I don't get to see him as much but hopefully Ill be able to seebhim more in the summer.we might visit another singles group or go swimming together this summer plan on doing some stuff.

I do get lonely because I haunt seen him as much but we are just friends but I'm more blessed then alto of people so I guess I ought to count my blessings.

 

[Riders]

Goodness that's a mess wrongly spelled so many words in that. Anyways Randal kind of would like to meet with Polyamorus or swinger couples. There is a club or 2 in Dallas I know about. I can look stuff up on the net easily and find them.

But I'm not suppose to be doing that on my program. Its not just that. Again I've had physical pain because of too much sexual pleasure and I don't want to push myself to be that sexual these days. Me and Randal fool around I give him pleasure.

I'm really not interested in in being with another guy. I don't mind dating men that look a lot older I'm young looking for my age at least some say I look 35 or 40 anyways .I'm 51. I don't know about Randals looks because I'm attracted to him.

But women are not into swinging as much as the men so its harder for men to find swinging partners so in other words in order to swing the man in the couple is with the other woman from another relationship and he trades his woman with the man.SO the whole couple participates. If he does I have too.

So when it comes to mixing with swingers I have to be a part of the deal or they aren't interested .



So that's a pill in the issue.I have thought about maybe just socializing trying to be friendly with them maybe even getting nude for one of them without sex but I really don't know how that would go over.

Anyways I did tell him I would call this night club and find out the hours, he likes coming out in the afternoon and I have an idea that they are only open at night FRiday and Saturday nights so it may not work out anyways. Well see. I think its not going to work with his hours that he has available so maybe it wont matter anyways, I don't want to swing. I'm not interested in being with anyone else.

But he can see who he wants. I just cant be responsible for finding him someone.


Its a GIP what I mean by gip for women who are dependant addicted tot his lifestyle its harder for us to reach a bottom because usually the men interested far outweigh the women so women are treated differently. We get to go in for free on Saturday nights while single men are not even allowed. Man has to have a woman with him.

well I on a few occasions have had a man take me give me a free ride and free food to get into the porn theatre because it was cheaper for him to go with me yep...........

 

[Riders]

But Randal is 56 and looks a lot older then me, I look cute he should be grateful. In some sense he has unrealistic expectations if he really wants another girlfriend but I think he just wants to play have another sex partner.

But a lot of folks at a young age don't get 2 partners let alone an older man so I'm not going to swing with him. He should be happy to have me being sexual with him and I think he knows that really.

I'm not doing it I'm not going to a swingers club. I don't like doing stuff like that anymore.

Its not just dangerous getting mixed up in a group like that someone IM not attracted to will always try to get to me. Its a big pain just makes me sick and they're all married.

I went to the Lido couple of times the Lido is the Porn theatre in Dallas. There's rooms you can rent and because its a big movie theatre with everyone watching in the same place people trade partners with each other and find playmates.

A guy wanted to take me into the room and have sex with no condom and I yelled he left because there]s security guards there.

But his slave girlfriend told me he wanted me, my guy friend told me later he was a daddy dominant looking for another submissive. I have a really young voice guys think I come off like I'm 30 maybe instead of 51 so sometimes Daddy Dominants are attracted to me.

They want a baby girl. I'm out of that whole seen its not my seen anymore. I got in Sex Addicts Annonyous so I wouldn't be temped to go back but honestly its not my thing anymore.

I want to go the uNited Methodist church this season then to my meditation group and my role playing group and take classes at my library they have some free classes this semester I want to take only a few.

Meeting new people at my role playing games and the library and the new meditation group ought to be exciting enough not to mention the united Methodists. I talked to the preacher on Facebook. He wants to meet me. I love to meet new people.

Looks like some of the new role playing games we got going at the half price book store looks fun.

I'm giving him the bad news that the swingers club are open too late for him and its not a lie they are.

 

[Milton Platt]

I have about 5 different points and maybe even debates I wanted to bring up with this thread. However I cant verbally I don't think express myself so that it will all sound like a good debate so Id rather start keeping a journal about it.

So if anyone wants to respond anyways feel free to put your input. So the first thing I will talk about is sexism.
A couple of things that drive me mad about men.Men who put their lives or at leaste their finances at risk of being scammed by dating young hot women.

I'm aware that some of these young women who go for older men, may not kill and may not drain the mans pocket book of millions, I'm nott alking about women who just live off these guys and get spoiled.

I'm talking about Bruce Cleland and other older men I have seen their stories on Investigation Discovery because they got themselves killed.

The thing of it is Investigation Discovery I guess has to be kind and compassionet to victems who are related to the murder victim. SO therefore They have to say good things about them even though they were total *** holes in real life.

Bruce Cleland was apparently one of the top 100 richest men in AMerica like 10 or 15 years ago.He was 44 and was worth over a hundred million dollars.

He had never had sex or dated anyone and was shy. he met this lady who was 24, 20 years younger, geourgeous beauty who worked at a spice stand and was making descent money in sales. He emt her and fell for her.

SHe started spending his money, he gave her houses, 1 mansion over 2 million bucks in her name, millions in cars trips and jewlry. Give me a break his friends knew she was bad news and didn't confront the situation.

AT one point she stole over a hundred thousand dollars for a bunch of cosmetic surgery.

It was horrible. he found out about it and let her do it. The thing is he was so addicted to the idea of being married to a young beauty, hes insane, I mean the guy couldn't open his eyes to see he was being taken even after he found out she had stole that much money.

Its crazy, nutty, who, what guy would spend that much money to win a lady? She gave othe rpeople the creeps they sat there said nothing.
But still he was completely sexist, he just had to have his 24 year old Barbie doll. Of course she killed him for the money.

SHe got caught thank God, black widow in jail hopfully forever.

I just cant believe how sexists some men are, its as if he thought his money could buy him a beautiful woman geez!

ANyways got lots to say about dating tomarrow.

I don't know the details of the particular situation you are talking about, but I have seen a few older men with very young women and have even ventured to ask them about when I had a chance.
Generally, those guys had a great deal of money, and very little life left in front of them. They enjoyed the companionship of the young woman and it didn't bother them that she was an expensive toy. I kinda felt more sorrow for the younger woman, who clearly valued money over love, affection, honesty, etc. On the other hand, there have been May/December relationships that have stood the test of time and were genuine.
I think a man that has been wise enough to amass a fortune in his lifetime, is wise enough to spend it on anything he wishes...and after all, it is his money.

 

[Riders]

Ok so Satan asked me by my looks I diont look like a sex addict. Im taking that to mean my understanding is my ibesity issues would keep me from being a sex addict.

First place Ive lost down to 252 opounds 90 pounds down bWAHA. Second place Im cute, ok I get looks whistles and men thing Im 30 years old most of the time.,So if that remark by my looks mean Im not cute enough its just because big ladies arent your thing but IM cute. Men flirt with me all the time sorry.

Second place not to knock my looks however it really really doesnt matter what you look like in sex addiction.Its rediculous, it almost sounds like your looking for a Julia Roberts look alike from Pretty Woman movie LMFAO!

No heres how it works. I am first place addicted to internet porn,the virtual reality game second life and the porn on it,internet sex, sexting, phone sex. I also have a hot voice and I use to be a phone sex operator.

But I also was addicted to sleeping with strangers.I dont no if your a woman or a man but if you think all the men looking for recreational sex are out there looking Julia Roberts in Pretty WOman, you know absolutly nothing about men nothing.If a man is rich sure he might require a higher standard.

But for the average guy if hes desperate for sex and alot of them are sex addicts looking to feed their addiction, they dont a rats as& about what I look like. As long as the woman has a vagina and breasts thats all they care about. Sorry to sound so blunt but hey that remark by my looks i cant be a sex addict I had to be blunt with you.

Honestly they dont care. I have not had a real man whow asnt married or wasnt a scam that was really good looking and young that was interested ib a romance with me. But one night stands?Yep cute guys young guys if its a one night stand they just take whomever they can get, so Ive slept with young cute guys, but only in a one night stand.

You could be 600 pounds and addicted to sex through internet porn phone sex sexting and internet sex so, It really doesbt natter looks have nothing to do with it,

 

[Riders]

So I was thinking about trying to get another cuddling buddy but I don't think its going to work. I'm on an internet dating web sight now talking to a few people.

I am not suppose to be doing that. Its just tough being in a recovery program for sex addiction. Unlike alcoholics or drug addicts who know to get rid of all chemicals and alcohol, sex addicts have to figure out what behaviors they are addicted to and what they aren't.

Its a list you have to come up with. Some people can't do it I don't do my program 100 percent.

I have huge list of things I should not do but I can't keep up with it heres a few of them.

Masterbation
looking at porn
watching sexy movies
listening to and watching sexually explicit music and music videos
BDSM( that's the worst I look really young for my age and I have quit a few men on meet me .com well 2 of them in the past 6 months who wanted to be my daddy dom) I've been spanked tied up
Polyamory on my side, if I get together with a man who sees more then on person its ok I just can't practice it myself
sexting
internet email sex
second life virtual reality game
phone sex
skyping sex live ideo
dating websights
meeting men off the net
having one night stands
sending nude pictures of myself
sex parties joining Poly groups

Thats a lot of them my hardest ones to do are watching sexy videos and listening to sexy music. I know I have got a thread up about Christian music, I am listening to Christian as well Hindu music and new age like Enya but still have big issues with it. I have problems with not flirting with men and watching sexy movies and listening to sexy music.

One of my worst examples of this, and I have heard folks Christians not Christian who have been heavily criticize this singer;

In part because they think shes not talented and in part because they say shes a cheap sl** and trashy yada yada yada- Kesha.

She even has a song out about lesbianism. I do love to look at beautiful women. Son't get angry if your a Kesha fan, its not wrong if your not addicted to sex to look at her. But it is triggering for me but for some reason I can not drag myself away from her videos, There's only about 6 of her songs I listen to.

Christians have heavy criticized her. But shes got Egyptian symbols up in her Die Young video I love it there's an orgy in that video too. I love Egyptian symbols, can't get that video out of my head.

But anyways yea I love my Kesha but I need to stop watching her on youtube.

I do love to look at beautiful women, but I am not interested in dating any women. But I want to be somewhat fluid, so yes I rend to be attracted to men, however I won;t say never, if I find a woman I like of course I will give it a chance, but I have my doubts about that.
But looking at hot women in a video like Kesha yea I notice you know.

But anyways.

So back to the list I have been keeping all of it except internet dating,music videos and sexy movies, but I have cut a lot of stuff from my life a lot. I don't meet men for sex anymore.

I don't get together with men from Meet me, except a couple of times this last year but and I met Randal through meet me though we don't date anymore, no more one night stands nor young men .

I only ask for freindship on the net.
No more bdsm or poly groups or 2nd life I mean I have cleaned up a lot.

But there are still issues problems.I need to be in counseling and I am going to try for it this next month.I have a sponser, she has not been as available to me
as she should only once a week I get to talk to her and really its not enough.

I have considered going to my Moms old AA meeting instead getting a sponsor there or perhaps Narcotics Anonymous instead. At NA they have you announce yourself as My name is Elizabeth and I am an addict. or I am addicted. the addiction does not matter there although they are mostly addicted to chemicals and street drugs.

But I am thinking about it and I know U need ro be in counseling.

 

[Riders]

So thought Id put up Die Young. If your Christian or religious and or sensitive, this video has Egyptian symbols and sexuality orgys. I love Kesha but eventually I am going to give up Kesha, Here it is , I love the sexy men with all the muscles with the paint down them on this.

 

[Riders]

Well I'm at anew low. I'm short on money my sisters had to bail me out with money this month yes I'm blessed and lucky I have my sisters who are Christian and here to support me. I'm not arguing politics with them.

Last month I had a job that was paying good the month before, my boss was not satisfied with the sales he was getting off my appointments and left to set up a new system and new internet service to offer people but e has not come back.Probably won't.

This month I had a good doing something similar they were happy to have me but because i got confused on some of the computer skills I needed, and I am a bit well I have organizational dislexia, I get confused with the internet skills at times and I was sick I am sick now sick as a dog. SO I lost that job.

I feel like an old fool losing jobs left and right.

I get tempted to go back to having phone sex for money I could also text sexting, I have my picture up at sexy jobs too.

I have a younger face but being obese I don't expect any modeling jobs LMAO at my age.

But I have had a couple of men offer to pay me for sex off dating web sights, some people are not that picky, some men prefer BBWs, my face looks younger so.

But I am also dislexic and if I come off a bit slower on the internet because of dis lexia predators who front as or pretend to be kink sters are attracted to mentally ill slow women, We are less likely to fight.

I had a man contact me this week to do porn pictures but he said its for his private selection. Being fed up with my financial situation and my stupid life I said yes.

I have not given him my address yet. Yea I know I am going to have back out of it even though I need the money and I'm mooching off my sisters. They would not want me to do it.

I smell a trap. He said its as going to be a nude modeling session already he has added sexual intercourse posses. Hes probably someone with a camera who wants to pay me for sex and uses nude photography as a way to manipulate the situation.

He could be a sex trafficker-pimp, as laughable as it seems and I know they pick teen girls, 14 years ago at Parkland psych ward this drug addict who needed drugs tried to pimp me out.

The Drs said after i had spoke to him he said he wanted to take me home to a party and I could make money ,they said hes trying to pimp you out to buy drugs. Its gross. but they said me being mentally ill and dis l e x i a I come off younger and if they know I am mentally ill pimp will choose me because I cant get away.

So as laughable as it is yea but happens with older ladies especially with us mentally ill older chicks, it turns on predators they get turned on by mentally ill women.

But hes probably not a pimp, hes probably just a guy trying to sneak in paying for sex and maybe a predator kink ster . Anyways I don't know but I smell a trap so I'm turning him down. Don't get offended if your kinky some kinky folks are good some are bad but if its a predator fronting as a kink ster its really bad this guy could be fronting me.

 

[Riders]

His offer was to pay me 100 dollars for a 2 hour shoot. Anyways I need to escape. I need to get out of here. So I'm talking to 2 men on ok cupid. I know with only 10 weeks of sexual sobriety this is against my rules but I'm doing it anyways.

I need to date go out have a good time get out of here.

I got one good looking guy well 2 both of them are Christians . I write to non Christian guys on ok cupid but they aren't interested. I don't want a relationship just a cuddling buddy sex buddy friendship, someone to hang out with.

I found a guy hes 50 cute nice looking were getting together this week but Ill put it off till next week when I feel better.

Life is harsh enough. I don't have transportation and I live in mesquite so its all churches out here Christian churches for religion, good spiritual places are too far out so I cant get out much.

I did get a new job HA! I got a job fundraising on the phone last week I only have 2 10 dollar donations in but I am sick so I'm putting off working till the end of this week. I hope I can make it work I need money. I am putting off working till I go to the dr's office Thursday.


I'm sick. So I'm tired of not having money I hope this job works out. I did fundraising for 2 years for the Shriners before so I've done it before.

I want this job to work but sick of my situation. I need to go out so I'm hoping my cuddling buddy can take me out and have a good time. Hes agreed to to not talk about religion.

I hope it works out for us, e is so darn cute. eat your heart out Christian ladies, just a joke. Hes divorced, not looking to get married or settle down looking for a cuddling buddy not a lot of Christian ladies are looking for that.


He said he was looking for someone who's not after getting married to him quick on his profile. I take it Christian women have tried to land him as a husband few times yea well.


I've dated a few other Christian men this year but it didn't work out.My friend Julie is conservative woman 67 years old, always looking for a Christian guy.

My Christian sister always chuckles at me because she knows a couple of older women in the church looking for a nice Christian older man and can't find a nice older christian man but they seem to fall into my lap at times.

But the difference is that I am not looking for a husband they are .I think more older Christian men have come to a place were they are accepting of a more sexually laid back point of view.


Some are looking for a friend to cuddle with instead of long term relationships, but I don't know if Christian women are.



ANyways hes Christian and cute and Im going to be his dirty little secret and hes going to be mine bwahahaha

 

[Riders]

Ok I'm back. yes I'm just going to have to run screaming away from the so called photographer who wants to pay me for pornographic pictures.

I personally think most men who pay BBWs and older women for sex and pornos and that a lot of them are predators disguised as kinks, hes the boogie man.

I'm scared locking my doors, luckily he does not have my address.
However I am aware that some people have the odd idea that odd idea that women have to be glamorus and pretty to be hookers.

Just watch some of the cops tv shows, they pick up these drug addict hookers who look 65 years old skinny under weight and holes in the arms and necks and body's and sores all over from the drug addiction.

Men who go get hookers while they're drunk and high really don;t give a hoot about what they look like its a quickie fix .

I do think hes the boogie man though,I'm running away from this.

Anyways ,I got in a big chunky 100 dollar payment for one of my donations yesterday that come in. So that means I have an 18 dollar check coming in to give my sister for part of the electricity ill she paid off.

So I'm feeling a bit better and perhaps I can keep this job , I am sick as a dog bronchitis and my voice sounds like sh&T . I can work for the next week I hate being sick.

The nice looking Christian guy I talked to yesterday dumped me.
But I do not blame him . My ok cupid account had too much stuff about religion and my spiritual preferences on it and some anger about scam artists up.

I hope he finds someone good. I rewrote my profile at ok cupid it looks better now.

I guess I don;t need to be having sex to solves my problems anyways, but when I get scared I want to run to a man yea I know I need to run to God. Got scared of that boogy man guy.

 

[Riders]

 

[Riders]

Yea I know I should be looking at ok cupid not internet dating I use to spend hours on it everyday. I went brain dead chasing men. So I'm about to give it up tomorrow. But I just thought Id get creative with it put a little collage together here of men, MEN MEN MEN MEN yay for men here's a part of a profile.

Sorry be right back Ill pull up a good one.


Straight, Man, Single

Looking for women, within 50 miles, ages 25‑74, for short & long term dating, hookup, new friends, and open to non-monogamy.


Hes 44 and J in dallas. hes kind of cute does non monogamy just mean he wants to sleep around and have one night stands or is he looking to be a full time Polyamorus person who has 2 or more relationships going? I said hi to a couple of these guys got a couple of them talking to me.

I'm not suppose to be dating, I'm just so lonely I hate living alone. Anyways its fun looking at profiles.I love it.

 

[Riders]

This guy is 48 cute and lives in Mesquite my rown,

Straight, Man, Single, 5’ 6”, Average build

Hispanic / Latin, Speaks Spanish and English, Attended University, Has kid(s)

Looking for women, within 50 miles, ages 35‑99, for short & long term dating, hookup, and new friends.

 

[Riders]

Here's a picture of me I have under my profile. Its before and after pics I got a few weeks ago when i got a free makeover.

 

[Riders]

 

[Riders]

Here's another profile I found. He says he very serious about having a long tern relationship with a woman.

Straight, Man, Single, Non-monogamous, 6’ 2”, Fit

Multi-ethnic, Speaks English, Attended High school, Christian (and it’s important), Never smokes, Drinks socially, Doesn’t do drugs, Doesn’t have kids but wants them, Has dogs, Libra

Looking for single women, within 25 miles, ages 40‑60, for only non-monogamous long-term dating.


Non monogomous long term dating is the same thing as polyamory. Its having several relationships at once. Sense he is a serious Christian and wants a Christian woman to be in this relationship with him having several relationships he probably wants her to stay true to him.

In another part of the profile he actually leaves his phone number up for serious Christian women only. What this mean is basically hes like a polygamist, he may not marry all his relationships but he wants his cake and eat it too.

Good luck with finding Christian women into that yea right.

 

[Riders]

Well I got to get caught up. I'm sick as a dog. A year and 2 months ago ago I had my hernia surgery got a wound and infection in it stayed in the old folks home lost a bunch of weight from morphine.

Then I got sick over a month ago with upper respiratory infection tool clyndomyacin an antibiotic for it. Got well for a week got sick again for a couple of weeks and the dr said it was just a cold and gave me cough medicine for it.

I was so sick I quit taking my showers except for twice in the past 2 weeks which is dahgerous for me! Now I just got off of zpack for a throat infection

3 days ago. Now I'm worse ,now I have a bad sore throat, ears are hurting ; AND The spots has irritation where my old wound and infection was and its wet which means my old wound has gotten infected again.

I will have to call EMS tomorrow yikes my sisters will be mad. They may put me in the hospital again, I've gained back up to 275 lbs due to this infection maybe Ill lose some weight again. I hope I'm not in for that long though.

Anyways i met a new guy. I met him through craigslist yea I know they don't have the personals but really they do.

Its under activities people ask for activity partners I've seen people get away with looking for sex buddies there and friends and work out partners, men who as for dinner dates movies dates all sorts of stuff.

Cody was looking for a mother figure. I have never had children wanted to investigate it Hes only 24. Hes sweet.
He has aspergers, and social anxiety ca not go out except maybe to eat and he says he might go to the mall with me over Christmas but he has to communicate with me only so when we order Ill do the ordering etc.

But its a platonic friendship like John and me use to be. We do hug and hold each arms around each other but that's it, he says he doesn't have a lot of experience in dating.So there's nothing sexual going on so its very very nice.

He came by yesterday we watched Halloween together and chatted about scary movies and ate pizza together. So we had fun.

I was going to try and stay single with my guy friends just be alone. I cant do it I am weak.

Al though some folks disagree with me having a platonic friendship with a man in my 12 step program because its suppose to be healthy to be alone if your not married and have same sex friends.

HOWEVER having male platonic friendships are not against my rules of my own sobriety I am allowed to have them but just I have to stay careful.

This guy reminds me of John a lot. Only this guy works full time as a security
officer and can drive.


He is in mature though .

Anyways no I had to stop seeing John who also had aspergers. But he was borderline mentally challenged but it didn't matter to me.

John was a guy I met at the UU church a long time ago.
He had anger issues but never in front of me. But he went to art school and learned media design.

They took a lot of his money I think knowing he could not get a job doing that . He is an artist and he knows how to draw and paint and he does know media design hes very artistic.

But Johns Aspergers does not allow him to know to talk to an employer and apply for those types of jobs, he tried and tried and could not do it he doesn't understand it.
He has a bad family situation. He wants to live in garland or mesquite with me. I got him an apartment a tiny efficiency where I use to live but theres a problem.

He makes the standard 850 month with food stamps which is the minimum amount for guys or women on social security. 10 years ago you could get an apartment for between 375 and 450 a month.

Some apartments would not allow people on social security to apply others would. Theres a few in Dallas that would allow someone who only makes twice the amount of the apartment in a month ,

so if they had a tiny studio for 400 a month they would allow one of us to get one. I had an apartment for 400 a month for 3 yeats I liked it.

Anyways now they price

 

[Riders]

Well I got to get caught up. I'm sick as a dog. A year and 2 months ago ago I had my hernia surgery got a wound and infection in it stayed in the old folks home lost a bunch of weight from morphine.

Then I got sick over a month ago with upper respiratory infection tool clyndomyacin an antibiotic for it. Got well for a week got sick again for a couple of weeks and the dr said it was just a cold and gave me cough medicine for it.

I was so sick I quit taking my showers except for twice in the past 2 weeks which is dahgerous for me! Now I just got off of zpack for a throat infection

3 days ago. Now I'm worse ,now I have a bad sore throat, ears are hurting ; AND The spots has irritation where my old wound and infection was and its wet which means my old wound has gotten infected again.

I will have to call EMS tomorrow yikes my sisters will be mad. They may put me in the hospital again, I've gained back up to 275 lbs due to this infection maybe Ill lose some weight again. I hope I'm not in for that long though.

Anyways i met a new guy. I met him through craigslist yea I know they don't have the personals but really they do.

Its under activities people ask for activity partners I've seen people get away with looking for sex buddies there and friends and work out partners, men who as for dinner dates movies dates all sorts of stuff.

Cody was looking for a mother figure. I have never had children wanted to investigate it Hes only 24. Hes sweet.
He has aspergers, and social anxiety ca not go out except maybe to eat and he says he might go to the mall with me over Christmas but he has to communicate with me only so when we order Ill do the ordering etc.

But its a platonic friendship like John and me use to be. We do hug and hold each arms around each other but that's it, he says he doesn't have a lot of experience in dating.So there's nothing sexual going on so its very very nice.

He came by yesterday we watched Halloween together and chatted about scary movies and ate pizza together. So we had fun.

I was going to try and stay single with my guy friends just be alone. I cant do it I am weak.

Al though some folks disagree with me having a platonic friendship with a man in my 12 step program because its suppose to be healthy to be alone if your not married and have same sex friends.

HOWEVER having male platonic friendships are not against my rules of my own sobriety I am allowed to have them but just I have to stay careful.

This guy reminds me of John a lot. Only this guy works full time as a security
officer and can drive.


He is in mature though .

Anyways no I had to stop seeing John who also had aspergers. But he was borderline mentally challenged but it didn't matter to me.

John was a guy I met at the UU church a long time ago.
He had anger issues but never in front of me. But he went to art school and learned media design.

They took a lot of his money I think knowing he could not get a job doing that . He is an artist and he knows how to draw and paint and he does know media design hes very artistic.

But Johns Aspergers does not allow him to know to talk to an employer and apply for those types of jobs, he tried and tried and could not do it he doesn't understand it.
He has a bad family situation. He wants to live in garland or mesquite with me. I got him an apartment a tiny efficiency where I use to live but theres a problem.

He makes the standard 850 month with food stamps which is the minimum amount for guys or women on social security. 10 years ago you could get an apartment for between 375 and 450 a month.

Some apartments would not allow people on social security to apply others would. Theres a few in Dallas that would allow someone who only makes twice the amount of the apartment in a month ,

so if they had a tiny studio for 400 a month they would allow one of us to get one. I had an apartment for 400 a month for 3 years I liked it.

Anyways now they price

that has gone up to between 5 and 550 for tiny cheap studios. They run at 500 at the cheapest in dallas.

Anyways so the thing is that John can work. He has worked in food places and fast food places busing tables and and cooking and cleaning a long time ago and still could.

He would have the money to live in mesquite and Id have the money to pay for a taxi for him or for that matter he would have the money for taking a taxi to spend time with me. He could work part time and make 400 a month and move out here.

Another option sense he has cats 2 cats his Mom lets him live with her with his cats,he could leave his cats for her and move into a room for rent. You can still get a room to rent for 400 a month in Dallas, and I know of one pretty close so he could do that.

He says he wont live with out his cats.

So he has to live with his Mom in Grand Prarie which is too far from me,and he is drinking too much because of his family issues.

He can take a bus from oak cliff to the Garland or Mesquite bus terminal but sense he cant pay for it I have to spend 16 bucks if he come to the mesquite bus terminal for taxi and 50 if he comes to garland.

He thinks its unfair and that I should give him a place to stay live with me so we can be together he thinks hes a victim, but unfortunately by not working and not giving up hi cats hes making a choice outside of seeing me so/

He has anger issues too and drinking makes it worse considering that hes drinking a lot these days that also plays a roll.

Anyways we were together 7 years so I hope me and Cody are friends for a long time too. He does not live far from me. Hes only 24.

Here's a picture of us we took yesterday when I met him for the first time, we had a nice time.