Dating ,romance and sexism and men journal

[Riders]

Well, I have a Drs visit over the phone. Sore throat ears hurt stomach virus. I think I a getting over my virus maybe. I am still feeling bad. With the way things are going, I may not make it to my sister's 62 birthday a week from Friday. Hopefully, I can get some walking in this week and go. I weighed this morning, I am down to 307 2 more pounds. I am happy with that. It's partially because I am sick.

 

[Riders]

I drank liquids all day yesterday. Back on my food plan today. Oa has food plans that are strict and some sponsors won't sponsor you unless you are on their food plan which is usually strict like no sugar no flour, meat milk, fruits, and veggies only. They also have the Grey Sheet and other food plan sheets, the grey sheet is real strict. My sponsor is not very strict but they vary. Some people call their sponsor and reporrt the food every day to their sponsor.

 

[Riders]

There is also OA HOW. OA HOW restricts the food like this. I was in it for a couple of weeks and stayed on the food plan for a week. It's one slice of whole wheat bread one fruit either apple or orange and 3 meals a day with vegetables and a protein per meal only 3 meals a day no milk. At the end I was hospitalized for a day at the end of the week for low blood sugar. But it works for some people, not me.

 

[Riders]

I finally did it. I walked for 1 minute without my walker. YAY ME!! However, my legs are shaky. I am used to using the walker. My body is shaky and I only made it to the table and back. So I got to get up tomorrow and start walking 1 minute again and try to snap out of the shakiness. I want to be up to 5 minutes walking by a week fro Friday.
I weighed today and was down to a 303,4-pound weight drop yay me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Riders]

Well, I have had the stomach virus again the past couple of days. I've had it on and off for 3 weeks. I may not make it to my sister's birthday because I am too sick. She mentioned it today. If I don't I'll ask for pictures of the high falluting Crescent Room in Dallas. I walked again today for a minute with my physical therapist. I ay have to get the dr. out here if I can not get rid of the virus.

I am depressed and kind of in the twilight zone here with my weight going down. My nurse says I can lose too much at once and get dehydrated anemic and all. I got to drink some water tonight. I am probably below 300 by now. Anyways I brought 2 episodes of True Blood , it's making me feel better.

 

[Riders]

Well, I weighed today. I maintained my 303 weight. I was unhappy cause I thought I would lose this week, however, I've been drinking too many Slimfast shakes. But I'm not unhappy with my weight, I am maintaining a 4-pound weight loss from earlier.

But I probably put 2 pounds back on, I ordered from Long John Silvers, I only ate half of it but I still ate too much it left a gross aftertaste in my mouth. I a disgusted, I am burned out on fast food. I did walk another minute and a half today and my legs are getting stronger so that's good news.

 

[Riders]

I obsessively watch My 600 Pound Life so I can be reminded to stay on my food plan so I don't end up with that surgery.

With my reoccurring wound, I have to eat a certain amount of food and protein to keep it from coming back and getting infected and hospitalized. bariatric surgery patients have to stay on liquids and starve themselves for the first month. That would send my wound back immediately and get me infected and in the hospital long-term. It's just too strict IMO good for those in desperate situations 5 6 and 700 pounder folks only.

 

[Riders]

I'm craving carbs bad. I'll probably order from Panera Bread tonight. I just know I'll end up with 5 pounds back but I am just craving carbs!1 I am getting chocolate ilk and an Iced Latte that's chocolate and maybe hot chocolate. I am getting some of those yummy lemon drop cookies, Yum!!!!!!!!!

I am watching a true-to-life psycho murderer story about a woman who became obsessed with this LDS guy.

That reminds me of the whole romantic obsession problem a lot of us women have. Society tells us we need to be protected. But it feels good, and the world becomes less scary with a nice big strong guy protecting us.

I think some of us; maybe even me a long time ago when I was in church, thought having a conservative Christian man with family values would be a dream, you know the fairy tale, Cinderella, traditional family values, etc..........

But in the past 10 to 11 years I have gotten over that and after getting to know some liberal men and realizing they are just as good as the conservative. I also for now don't want to get involved with anyone. Back to the topic, this psycho killer chick was so obsessed with the fact that this guy was Mormon, how traditional is that?

I mean The Osmonds are Mormon! Everyone loves The Osmonds! I wouldn't want it, join a religion to please my man forget it!
But geez women are still stuck in the fairy tale too much and want the traditional family man. There's no lack of codependency on men in America!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Riders]

There is also the idea that having a traditional family man would get rid of all my problems. Marriage home and children that's the ticket to getting my life straightened out. 15 12 to 15 years ago I believed it and believed a man could rescue me from my problems. 22 years ago when in church I did too even though I knew some women who were beaten by their husbands.

People use marriage and home to get rid of their problems. But I believe now that my relationship with God and OA is helping me get my life together. Did y'all see that movie, Raising Helen?

3 sisters and one was going out a lot clubbing a lot and while wearing a short dress for clubbing one night, one of her sisters who had married and had children young said
'You know what the answer to life is? You meet the nice guy get married then you get to witness the miracle of life!" So she thought the answer to getting her sister to settle down was to get her married and pregnant!

But I disagree with that !

 

[Riders]

so I woke up and my tummy has been burning. I hoped it was only very red. Unfortunately, my nurse came by looked at it, and found my wound has opened up again. It may go away next week. For anyone who prays please say a prayer for me, if it gets infected I'll end up in the hospital. Hopefully, that won't happen. I will probably reexamine my food plan next week and re-work it to whole wheat and corn only for bread, low fats instead of high fats. I am going to get on top of my walking this week too.

 

[Riders]

So I went to a beginners meditation guide webinar for Isha Krya Yoga. They had a teacher who talked about what reality is like in many Yoga seminars. He then taught a Yoga meditation, a way to meditate, it's a 3 part system. You have to breathe in and think about the words he gave us breathe out and there's another sentence.

Then 7 times saying AHHHHHHHH then 7 minutes of meditation. Then another guy came on and spoke with us and took questions. Your suppose to practice it for 48 days twice a day. Then they teach you inner engineering. It's just very disciplined and involved, it's too involved for me.

Someone explained they think they are the best way, in my other thread. But I didn't hear that there but I wouldn't be surprised. I didn't like the fact that there were hundreds of us in the same room but we could not socialize with each other, we had to sit and listen to the instructor only. I will probably stick to my other 2 meditation groups on zoom instead.

Heres a hard rock group from the 80's that i like well. Loverboy

 

[Riders]

I have been watching A Discovery Of Witches, a new scifi like Buffy The Vampire Slayer on Sundance. I am on the 6th episode and it takes in the UK so there are lots of English accents. So far all that has happened is a lady named Diane found out she was a witch and a Book Of Life that witches and vampires have been looking for centuries made it's way into her hands.

The problem I see so far is the story at first centered around that mysterious book but now all they are doing is trying to split up Mathew the main vampire and Diane the witch because witches and vampires are not supposed to have sex or marry.

So far I haven't seen much of a storyline but I bought the whole first season so we will see if it gets any more interesting.

I am disappointed that they'd have this much drama about the vampire Mathew and Dianne's relationship and the ale vampire is not even that sexy. He's ok looking but he should be way sexier than that, He certainly is no Angel (Buffy's vampire boyfriend David Boreanz) or Spike her other vampire boyfriend(James Marster).

I overate today this is my last day. I got sweets from Amazon. Nutty Buddies lemonhead pop tarts and coke.I got to get these sweets out of my system. Tomorrow is a new day!

David Boreanze -Angel
Picture of David Boreanaz

 

[Riders]

Well, I did better today. I still ate some candy but ate less than I did last week. It was better, by tomorrow I expect to be full-blown on my food plan. I have not weighed because I don't want to see a 10-pound weight gain on the scales. I will wait another week before I weigh.

I am ordering a week's worth of Subway low-fat whole wheat sandwiches tomorrow. They work out well on my food plan.

I watched The Shadowhunters last night, had not kept up with it or watched it for a while. The main male characters are good looking too. Don't mean to put down a Discovery Of Witches but I like my SciFi shows to have sexy en in the yum. Maybe it's just my taste but Mathew does nothing for me.

Picture of Jason from The Shadowhunters
Who Is Jace On 'Shadowhunters'? Dominic Sherwood Is No Stranger To Fighting Evil

Picture of Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Photo: Spike

 

[Riders]

So, Buffy, The Vampire Slayer is my favorite SciFi. Some Christians think it's evil because they think it glorifies vampires and evil. However many of my fellow fans and even critics think just the opposite;

We think that the use of death, Buffy giving her life up a couple of times to save the world, and other symbols like the cross and use of Holy Water is actually symbolic of Christianity or good and bad.

But personally, I love the girl power message and also the trauma themes, Buffy had to deal with trauma. When I quit the Pentecostal church 21 years ago, I went from going to church 3 times a week with 100's of folks, hugging people there, socializing with them all the physical stuff that went on to; having no one except my Mom and Dad.

I felt like I was dead, I had nightmares about my church stalking me which they did stalk me at the store and stuff. I was traumatized.

I went to counseling for a while. But Buffy's girl-power message after being in a church that forbids women to cut their hair wear jewelry, pants, and makeup, was something I needed. I love Buffy, the show helped me get through a terrible time.

I'll put some more pictures up.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer
pictures of buffy the vampire slayer - - Image Search Results

Xander from BTVS
https://www.weekendnotes.com/im/000/08/the-best-xander-harris-episodes-from-buffy-the-vam
.jpg

Riley Finn one of Buffy's boyfriend
Riley Buffys boyfriend - - Image Search Results

Buffy from the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer
https://screenrant.com/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-movie-iconic-or-forgettable/

 

[Riders]

So I have had 2 days of overeating but not as much as last week and I have not had sweets like I did last week. today's a new day and I got my food today plus my subway sandwiches, the rotisserie chicken on whole wheat and steak and cheese on whole wheat.

There's enough for all week a sandwich a day plus hamburgers or baked chicken. I need to be eating breakfast just can't make myself. I may get some individual yogurts for breakfast. I got rid of my shakes so there's less sugar. I do my OA meetings on the phone but sometimes I do the zoom meetings. Here's more Buffy pictures.

willow fro buffy the vampire slayer - - Image Search Results

oz from buffy the vampire slayer - - Image Search Results

https://screenrant.com/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-willow-potential-romances-besides-tara/

This is a video of when Angel met Buffy. Note about Angel, David Boreanze who played Angel also starred in Navy Seal Team and Bones which was on a few years.

 

[Riders]

Well, my nurse came by today. She looked at my wound. She says it's not any better and she is sending a wound care team out to look at it. It scares me because they may find an infection.

I don't think it's bad enough to go to the hospital but what do I know. I don't want to be preached for my eating habits. I stayed on my food plan today. I am tempted to order sweets from Panera Bread tomorrow. I have to stay on my food plan.
It's hard when I'm sick though. I slept right through the past 2 days. I am attending OA tonight for support. Well say a prayer for me.

 

[Riders]

Well, I finally weighed today. I am at 305, 2 pounds heavier than I was last time I weighed. I am happy with that. I was worried I had gained 10 pounds back but I have been on my food plan for 3 days so I probably have dropped some weight.

I ay order from Panera tonight so I might gain some back. I don't want to but my throat and ars are hurting my allergies are bothering me and I have been out of it the last few days sleeping too much. I wonder if it's because of my wound.I hope it's not infected, I might end up in the hospital.Ill write more later.

 

[Riders]

So my occupational therapist was here a few days ago. We ended up in a man-hater conversation it's been a while since I have had one of those. It started out with me telling her that I watched Lucy And Desi's documentary on tv.

She asked me if it told how terrible he treated her. I said no but it did say he drank alot and was maybe an alcoholic in the end and had a hard time with her being the star of the show and a strong woman.

I have heard from other documentaries about them that Desi had multiple affairs and some of them were with prostitutes. I also heard Cuban men don't consider prostitutes as cheating. She said "Yep Cuban men think of women as their property"
then she got into an I hate men thing.

I am not God so I can't judge it, but if he did it, possibly played a role in his alcoholism and he may have been a sex addict too. I don't like to think of his faults, who cares? I was raised up on I Love Lucy and will always think of him in the role of Ricky, I loved him in that!

But I don't believe all men are evil like she does. There's a few good men out there.

 

[Riders]

As much as I love the music and tv shows from the '50s and 60s, especially the early 60s, women, in general, were not treated as well. But it got better in the 70s and 80s but if you watch true story movies like The Burning Bed with Farrah Fawcett, the movie about the woman who had to kill her husband to get him to stop beating the crap out of her:

Even in the 70's police were not listening to women who needed protection from their physically abusive husbands, they wouldn't remove him from the home or put him in jail.

 

[Riders]

She said most male characters on tv and the movies, are way older and less good-looking than their female co-stars.
I believe she's wrong about that. When they are way older, they are a lot of times sexy good looking older men. The Bluebloods, Donnie Wahlberg and Tom Selleck star in that, and both are older and both are hotties.

Look at The Price IS RIght, they use to have all-female models when Bob Barker was on it, and sometimes they made them come out in bikinis to model. Nowadays they have hot young cute male models on there! I'll put up the pictures. She used Noth By Northwest movie as example.

'Blue Bloods' Star Donnie Wahlberg's Shares Emotional Instagram Post About Season 12
Tom Selleck
Devin from The Price IS Right
Meet the newest male model on 'The Price Is Right'
James from The Price Is Right
The price is right male models - - Video Search Results
Wayne Brady from Lets Make A Deal
wayne brady lets make a deal - - Image Search Results
The Supernatural guys