PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
If I'm not mistaken, a long time ago, there was a male member on the forum, who kind of spoke out against women's behavior when it comes to online dating.
Actually, I think it's much more complicated than that, though, now that I'm getting more of an inside view to things.
I think a lot of women put up walls around men when encountering them, due to some very real past hurts a lot of them have faced, even just from other men on dating sites, and they may also be playing a little bit of "game" around men, though often well-intentioned, and they may not always realize they're doing it.
When I say "game", I mean this - things they would do around men, that they wouldn't do around other women.
One thing women might do, is kind of be more cautious, due to new men being stronger and more risky to be around, but they also might kind of "match" the vibe of the male by acting tougher and more macho than they normally would, when around men as opposed to women. I also think there's some motivation for them to be quieter and more reserved around men, at least initially, and being less prone to "give them the time of day". I'm not sure what's behind the motivation - possibly fear, possibly something they've learned from interacting with the male species that seems to work, etc.
I think a lot of men, not all, do have some problems understanding women. Sometimes it's pretty bad, too. However, I think women are also difficult to understand, due to sometimes making themselves more emotionally scarce around men.
My experiences dating women while presenting as a woman (I'm trans/non-binary), and how that changed things, during the duration I was actively looking for someone:
When a woman is interested in another woman, I feel it's a bit different. The walls often come down if they like that other woman, and they may even wish to get emotionally close with that person, reaching out with physical touch and openness. The romantic aspect is different too. Men often consider going to the "next stage" with a woman to be an asset to a relationship. Based on what I've read and seen, women can often consider it a liability. I don't know all the reasons why, but most have experienced a man who, upon getting to the more romantic portions of the relationships, "gets what he wanted", and now no longer wishes to see the woman, when the woman sometimes wanted a relationship or at least additional dates.
I think however in a woman-woman relationship, there is less seeing going to the "next" stage as a liability, and in fact, possibly even seeing it as an asset.
I do think that women do sometimes get treated poorly by men. I don't know all the reasons why, but I think women can sometimes be like "mirrors" - they extend how you see yourself through their own input of you and others, they sometimes follow what you say by choice, and they even kind of "feel" your emotions too, quite often, when they are with you. It can even affect them. And the best I can fathom is that some men hate themselves, and rather than practice self-discipline and work at making themselves better, to fix the problem, they kind of are mean and harsh of a new person that they see kind of mirroring them and their energy.
Also, I'd be careful of any books written by men on "how to be an alpha male" and the advice written therein. Those books often are narcissistic, and the results they get, I think, are often at the expense of others.
Actually, I think it's much more complicated than that, though, now that I'm getting more of an inside view to things.
I think a lot of women put up walls around men when encountering them, due to some very real past hurts a lot of them have faced, even just from other men on dating sites, and they may also be playing a little bit of "game" around men, though often well-intentioned, and they may not always realize they're doing it.
When I say "game", I mean this - things they would do around men, that they wouldn't do around other women.
One thing women might do, is kind of be more cautious, due to new men being stronger and more risky to be around, but they also might kind of "match" the vibe of the male by acting tougher and more macho than they normally would, when around men as opposed to women. I also think there's some motivation for them to be quieter and more reserved around men, at least initially, and being less prone to "give them the time of day". I'm not sure what's behind the motivation - possibly fear, possibly something they've learned from interacting with the male species that seems to work, etc.
I think a lot of men, not all, do have some problems understanding women. Sometimes it's pretty bad, too. However, I think women are also difficult to understand, due to sometimes making themselves more emotionally scarce around men.
My experiences dating women while presenting as a woman (I'm trans/non-binary), and how that changed things, during the duration I was actively looking for someone:
When a woman is interested in another woman, I feel it's a bit different. The walls often come down if they like that other woman, and they may even wish to get emotionally close with that person, reaching out with physical touch and openness. The romantic aspect is different too. Men often consider going to the "next stage" with a woman to be an asset to a relationship. Based on what I've read and seen, women can often consider it a liability. I don't know all the reasons why, but most have experienced a man who, upon getting to the more romantic portions of the relationships, "gets what he wanted", and now no longer wishes to see the woman, when the woman sometimes wanted a relationship or at least additional dates.
I think however in a woman-woman relationship, there is less seeing going to the "next" stage as a liability, and in fact, possibly even seeing it as an asset.
I do think that women do sometimes get treated poorly by men. I don't know all the reasons why, but I think women can sometimes be like "mirrors" - they extend how you see yourself through their own input of you and others, they sometimes follow what you say by choice, and they even kind of "feel" your emotions too, quite often, when they are with you. It can even affect them. And the best I can fathom is that some men hate themselves, and rather than practice self-discipline and work at making themselves better, to fix the problem, they kind of are mean and harsh of a new person that they see kind of mirroring them and their energy.
Also, I'd be careful of any books written by men on "how to be an alpha male" and the advice written therein. Those books often are narcissistic, and the results they get, I think, are often at the expense of others.