Dating age differences. your opinions needed.

[We Never Know]

I have a 57 year old friend that has a 43 year old woman that wants to date him. He's been single for 5 years and he keeps avoiding her. I asked him why, I said give me the cons of you seeing her.
He said..
1. She's young and beautiful
2. He's to old and average
3. They don't have any friends in common
4. When he's 60 she will only be 46
5. She has a 5 year old daughter
6. He has grandkids older than that
7. She's very active. His back limits him
8. He's old(yes he said that again)
9. They live 75 miles apart
10. She would end up leaving for a younger man
11. He's used to being alone/not answering to anyone
12. She smokes. He doesnt
Etc etc .

Do you think those are excuses or legitimate?

I told him I would ask the panel of experts so... what do you all think?

 

[Stevicus]

I have a 57 year old friend that has a 43 year old woman that wants to date him. He's been single for 5 years and he keeps avoiding her. I asked him why, I said give me the cons of you seeing her.
He said..
1. She's young and beautiful
2. He's to old and average
3. They don't have any friends in common
4. When he's 60 she will only be 46
5. She has a 5 year old daughter
6. He has grandkids older than that
7. She's very active. His back limits him
8. He's old(yes he said that again)
9. They live 75 miles apart
10. She would end up leaving for a younger man
11. He's used to being alone/not answering to anyone
12. She smokes. He doesnt
Etc etc .

Do you think those are excuses or legitimate?

I told him I would ask the panel of experts so... what do you all think?

Smoking might be a legitimate dealbreaker for some. Also living 75 miles apart, as that might be too far for some. But it's not too far. They could meet each other halfway.

As for the age difference, I've always heard that the rule of thumb to follow is half your age plus 7. So, if he's 57, half that is 28.5, plus 7 is 35.5.

 

[SigurdReginson]

He sounds like he's just making excuses to me. He's old enough to know that opportunity waits on no one. If he wants to date her, he needs to strike while the iron is hot.

 

[McBell]

I have a 57 year old friend that has a 43 year old woman that wants to date him. He's been single for 5 years and he keeps avoiding her. I asked him why, I said give me the cons of you seeing her.
He said..
1. She's young and beautiful
2. He's to old and average
3. They don't have any friends in common
4. When he's 60 she will only be 46
5. She has a 5 year old daughter
6. He has grandkids older than that
7. She's very active. His back limits him
8. He's old(yes he said that again)
9. They live 75 miles apart
10. She would end up leaving for a younger man
11. He's used to being alone/not answering to anyone
12. She smokes. He doesnt
Etc etc .

Do you think those are excuses or legitimate?

I told him I would ask the panel of experts so... what do you all think?

What difference does it make?
If he is not interested in her he is not interested in her.
Why is that not enough for you?

 

[King Phenomenon]

Maybe he prefers his age
No big deal

 

[JustGeorge]

I have a 57 year old friend that has a 43 year old woman that wants to date him. He's been single for 5 years and he keeps avoiding her. I asked him why, I said give me the cons of you seeing her.
He said..
1. She's young and beautiful
2. He's to old and average
3. They don't have any friends in common
4. When he's 60 she will only be 46
5. She has a 5 year old daughter
6. He has grandkids older than that
7. She's very active. His back limits him
8. He's old(yes he said that again)
9. They live 75 miles apart
10. She would end up leaving for a younger man
11. He's used to being alone/not answering to anyone
12. She smokes. He doesnt
Etc etc .

Do you think those are excuses or legitimate?

I told him I would ask the panel of experts so... what do you all think?

If he said there are too many cons, there are too many cons. They don't need to be 'excuses'. He's just worked out what he wants from a potential mate, and she doesn't fit into it. Some of his concerns, like she would leave him for a younger man, are unfounded, but different lifestyles and different life stages can make a huge difference for a couple.

I think its wise he sticks to his gut.

 

[Deeje]

I have a 57 year old friend that has a 43 year old woman that wants to date him. He's been single for 5 years and he keeps avoiding her. I asked him why, I said give me the cons of you seeing her.
He said..
1. She's young and beautiful
2. He's to old and average
3. They don't have any friends in common
4. When he's 60 she will only be 46
5. She has a 5 year old daughter
6. He has grandkids older than that
7. She's very active. His back limits him
8. He's old(yes he said that again)
9. They live 75 miles apart
10. She would end up leaving for a younger man
11. He's used to being alone/not answering to anyone
12. She smokes. He doesnt
Etc etc .

Do you think those are excuses or legitimate?

I told him I would ask the panel of experts so... what do you all think?

Sounds like he is being realistic.....no one wants to go through dramas and marriage break ups at his age.....its all too hard and if he is content being single why would he want to entangle his life with a younger woman (who may want more children) and also have the responsibility of a 5 year old, and the inevitable dramas of teenagers later on? I'm sure he's been there and done that.....

I think he is being quite sensible...

 

[Heyo]

I have a 57 year old friend that has a 43 year old woman that wants to date him. He's been single for 5 years and he keeps avoiding her. I asked him why, I said give me the cons of you seeing her.
He said..
1. She's young and beautiful
2. He's to old and average
3. They don't have any friends in common
4. When he's 60 she will only be 46
5. She has a 5 year old daughter
6. He has grandkids older than that
7. She's very active. His back limits him
8. He's old(yes he said that again)
9. They live 75 miles apart
10. She would end up leaving for a younger man
11. He's used to being alone/not answering to anyone
12. She smokes. He doesnt
Etc etc .

Do you think those are excuses or legitimate?

I told him I would ask the panel of experts so... what do you all think?

Sound like excuses to me. My experience in kitchen psychology tells me he is afraid to be "not adequate". Does he show other signs of depression?

 

[Subduction Zone]

My only rule is that I cannot be older than her father.

 

[Estro Felino]

Very small age difference.
Why shouldn't they stay together?

 

[sun rise]

Dating excuses sound like his way of saying no. Or maybe fear is involved. I don't know.

If it were marriage, then it might be different.

If it were me, smoking might easily be a deal breaker. I fought to quit and want to avoid temptation, but that's me.

 

[darkskies]

I think they're legitimate reasons. Nothing wrong in not wanting to date someone.

 

[RestlessSoul]

Some people are happy being unattached, especially at 57.

 

[ChristineM]

It's his choice.

 

[Secret Chief]

His choice. The age difference doesn't matter.

 

[oldbadger]

I have a 57 year old friend that has a 43 year old woman that wants to date him. He's been single for 5 years and he keeps avoiding her. I asked him why, I said give me the cons of you seeing her.
He said..
1. She's young and beautiful
2. He's to old and average
3. They don't have any friends in common
4. When he's 60 she will only be 46
5. She has a 5 year old daughter
6. He has grandkids older than that
7. She's very active. His back limits him
8. He's old(yes he said that again)
9. They live 75 miles apart
10. She would end up leaving for a younger man
11. He's used to being alone/not answering to anyone
12. She smokes. He doesnt
Etc etc .

Do you think those are excuses or legitimate?

I told him I would ask the panel of experts so... what do you all think?

57 and 43?
Kids.
75 miles?

I was a 43yr old widower with teenaged kids when a 24yr old gorgeous woman asked me to go out with her, we lived 40 miles apart.

For 13 years we carried on as boy/girl friends with all kinds of difficulties until in 2003 a relative left a tiny little property to me. I asked my girlfriend if she could live in such a tiny home with me, because if she could then we could do it up together, share it together and I could sell the family home and pay my kids some inheritance each.

She had put up with so much for so long, and still she said 'yes', she wanted to live in such a tiny home with me. We married in 2005. I'm 73 this year and my wife is 54....... Life is a day by day experience however carefully we might plan for the future.

If it doesn't feel right then don't do it, but if it does and it's lawful..... sure!

 

[oldbadger]

A young wife keeps a bloke young, fit and handsome.
For goodness sake, just see the living proof of that!

 

[PureX]

I have a 57 year old friend that has a 43 year old woman that wants to date him. He's been single for 5 years and he keeps avoiding her. I asked him why, I said give me the cons of you seeing her.
He said..
1. She's young and beautiful
2. He's to old and average
3. They don't have any friends in common
4. When he's 60 she will only be 46
5. She has a 5 year old daughter
6. He has grandkids older than that
7. She's very active. His back limits him
8. He's old(yes he said that again)
9. They live 75 miles apart
10. She would end up leaving for a younger man
11. He's used to being alone/not answering to anyone
12. She smokes. He doesnt
Etc etc .

Do you think those are excuses or legitimate?

I told him I would ask the panel of experts so... what do you all think?

Yes, I think most of those objections are legitimate.

 

[SomeRandom]

I have a 57 year old friend that has a 43 year old woman that wants to date him. He's been single for 5 years and he keeps avoiding her. I asked him why, I said give me the cons of you seeing her.
He said..
1. She's young and beautiful
2. He's to old and average
3. They don't have any friends in common
4. When he's 60 she will only be 46
5. She has a 5 year old daughter
6. He has grandkids older than that
7. She's very active. His back limits him
8. He's old(yes he said that again)
9. They live 75 miles apart
10. She would end up leaving for a younger man
11. He's used to being alone/not answering to anyone
12. She smokes. He doesnt
Etc etc .

Do you think those are excuses or legitimate?

I told him I would ask the panel of experts so... what do you all think?

That’s nothing. My father was in his 60s and married my mum who was then in her 30s. Lived happily. Sure it was a bit awkward and I was aware my parents were not the “average” as both (in particular dad) were getting on in years.
But meh
The general rule according to what pop culture has taught me is an acceptable 7 year gap (assuming both are well above legal age.)

I think it probably get easier the older both are. Like for instance I could see a person in their 20s drifting away from their partner if they were in their 30s for instance. Since there’s still some developmental things happening. But I’m sure there’s couples that have made it work either way

 

[RestlessSoul]

A young wife keeps a bloke young, fit and handsome.
For goodness sake, just see the living proof of that!
View attachment 49548

Nice bit of tweed, old chap