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Dating after age 25

Discussion in 'The Social World' started by The Sum of Awe, Sep 28, 2022.

  1. The Sum of Awe

    The Sum of Awe Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.

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    This is all actually happening. What the heck???
    It seems really hard to start relationships once you're out of school. You're kinda just waiting for that someone to fall into your life, and then you hope to see them regularly enough to get to know them, then you hope things go well enough to start a relationship...

    Tinder and dating apps? No dice. I keep my account up and swipe sometimes, but no matches. I don't think I'm THAT ugly and my bio might need work, idk. But honestly a lot of it might have to do with the algorithm.

    Bars/clubs? Eh, seems unlikely. A hook-up possibly, finding the love of my life? Probably not.

    I've been thinking of joining different churches (there's really not many other types of social groups in my area). I know there's a UU organization a half hour away, I might check that out. But I don't expect to find a single women there my age, I'll at least have a community but I'd still like something a little more personal.

    Honestly feel like I'm literally waiting for an angel to just fall out of the sky one day (happened once but I messed that up :p ah well I know better for next time)

    Where do you find love?
     
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  2. Exaltist Ethan

    Exaltist Ethan Synverse Shaper

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    Women expect you to take care of them, even in this new age of feminism. I'm on welfare and can barely afford to pay for my own existence, let alone another person. I've given up trying to find love. If I used mental illness services to find love, I'm sorry to say this but many of the people at the Grand Avenue Club and OurSpace really aren't on my level. When people think mental illness they think mentally handicapped but that's the last kind of issue I have. I'm intelligent off medication and I'm even more so on them. Having to take care of someone else when I already screw up important things for myself is not on my radar at this time.
     
  3. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Turned to Stone. Now I stretch daily.
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    Try the bookstore or a library. Go several times per week.
     
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  4. The Sum of Awe

    The Sum of Awe Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.

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    This is all actually happening. What the heck???
    Hmm. I especially like the library idea. I could just read in there, bring my laptop in, maybe a coffee if they allow it. That's a really great idea! Thank you! Honestly I was looking for a place where I could do this, why did a library never strike my mind? I went all the way to barnes and nobles searching for a place like this and was looking into coffee cafes - really I could just go into a free library!

    -smacks head-

    Thanks again :)
     
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  5. The Hammer

    The Hammer Wyrd Wide Web
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    I found it at work.
     
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  6. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein I'm not deaf, I'm just a real bad listener
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    Work. I have crushes on two coworkers right now, and am going to see where it goes.
     
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  7. The Hammer

    The Hammer Wyrd Wide Web
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    The other place I would normally offer doesn't exist near you.

    Have you tried to see if there were any like "singles groups" on the Meetup app. Or even just engaging in a hobby that can bring you in contact with people. The mall near me had a game shop, that would do game nights with various cards, board or strategy games.
     
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  8. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    I haven't dated since my early twenties, so I'm basing this on mates aged between 30 and mid fifties really. But this worked for me back in the old days too...

    Get involved in some social circles that involve women (if that's your favourite flavour of people). Just get to know a bunch of women who would have at least one small thing in common with. And if you're like me, don't do it to pick up...just do it to be in some meaningful interactions with women.

    Maybe you vibe with one, maybe one has a sister or a friend...whatevs.

    The group itself doesn't matter too much, as long as it includes the appropriate age/gender representation.

    Volunteer somewhere, play some sort of mixed sport (you can often leave your name at the front desk for team who need fill ins...I've done that successfully before), books or wine appreciation, religious...yeck...ahem...political, whatever.
     
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  9. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    Can get tricky, depending on context. When I was a primary teacher it was kinda perfect. But as a middle aged manager? Yew...not going there, even if I were single.
     
  10. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein I'm not deaf, I'm just a real bad listener
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    My job doesn't care if we have relationships with each other, as long as it's between union members and they prefer we don't work in the same department as each other. But that last rule isn't set in stone as we have 2 or 3 couples in my department right now.
     
  11. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    Depends on the woman, but I would say as you get older people both tend to have more baggage, and are more impressed by a general lack of baggage in a potential partner.
     
  12. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    Yup, and in that case work makes sense. It's entirely contextual.
     
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  13. Orbit

    Orbit I'm a planet

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    I found my lovemuffin right here on RF, but I wasn't looking. Nevertheless, we've been married 6 years now.
     
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  14. ideogenous_mover

    ideogenous_mover Well-Known Member

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    For me, I think maybe I'll forget it. Too much risk of children, and I don't want them. Plus the only women that are ever attracted to me always seem to be 10 years older than me, and I just can't really stay in a relationship with them for that long, I just don't have a sense of attraction to older women than me. This has been true since I was 20
     
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  15. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Unknown Member
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    Make it so things would be really inconvenient if you found a partner, and one's bound to show up.

    And as a side note, if you're going to go the UU route, I would warn ahead that if you're not really into liberal politics, it might not be the best fit. If you are, you've found your home! But if you're even moderate, you may struggle. Yes, the crowd leans older, but there's folks of all ages. Mostly upper middle class, atheist, and highly educated(and they don't always know how to communicate with those that don't fit that bill).

    I only mention because I know you're in my region, and this is what we found when attending. If you feel this is a good fit, I would highly recommend it, as they're great to their own, but if you deviate too much from what they consider ideal, its not always well received.
     
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  16. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein I'm not deaf, I'm just a real bad listener
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    Wow, sounds so welcoming. :rolleyes:

    I remember my mom and I went to UU services for a time and expressed an interest in joining, but they ignored us. It's fine, in hindsight, as the Catholic Church took us in.
     
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  17. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Unknown Member
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    Probably better off that they ignored you. They were fine to us long enough to get us to sign up for all kinds of volunteer activities, and then the bullying started.

    I remember all kinds of people were complaining about the building's cleanliness, but no one was doing anything. So, my husband volunteered to start cleaning the whole building on his one day off a week. He got a few pats on the back initially, but as time wore on, people would say he wasn't doing this well enough, or he needed to add this... finally, he just said "do it yourself" and quit that(though no one ever did step up to do it on a regular basis).
     
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  18. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein I'm not deaf, I'm just a real bad listener
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    Yikes! Makes me even more grateful to God. :)
     
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  19. We Never Know

    We Never Know No Slack

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    It, love, will find you when you least expect it.

    One problem is some confuse love with company(so they won't be alone) and while being wrapped up with that company, they miss other opportunities that may have turned out to be love.
     
    #19 We Never Know, Sep 28, 2022
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  20. The Sum of Awe

    The Sum of Awe Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.

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    This is all actually happening. What the heck???
    Wow, that's awful! I never would've dreamed a UU congregation would be so ungrateful. Was this the managers themselves saying these things?
     
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