Cuckold !

[Godobeyer]

Hello everybody

I just discuss with a friend in this issue , he said " the cuckold is could be normal" in some cultures.
In my culture cuckold is when a man don't jealous about his wife/daughter/mom when she make forbiden relation with other men.

Do you consider that if someone agree that his wife/GF (otherwise , her husband/BF) kiss or dance or sleep, or date someone else as cuckold ?



How you could make a distinction between normal couple and cuckold couple ?

I know that my religion allow to men to marry more than 1 (maybe many other religions too) , but not allow to women to marry more than 1.

Just curious what religions agree with cuckold's men and what religions don't agree ?

 

[Terese]

Sometimes cuckolding is born out of carelessness, or not caring at all. This is from lack of romantic duties. The ones who are experiencing cuckolding and are afraid to do anything about it, i find very unmasculine.

 

[Godobeyer]

Sometimes cuckolding is born out of carelessness, or not caring at all. This is from lack of romantic duties. The ones who are experiencing cuckolding and are afraid to do anything about it, i find very unmasculine.

I heard that some people enjoying being cuckold, is that could be right ?

 

[Demonslayer]

I know that my religion allow to men to marry more than 1 (maybe many other religions too) , but not allow to women to marry more than 1.

That's some backwards-**** ****. Do you know a lot of guys who marry more than one woman?

 

[Draka]

Is there a term for women whose husbands do such things with other women?

 

[Wirey]

Is there a term for women whose husbands do such things with other women?

I believe the technical term is 'twit'. My wife might cheat on me, but she'd stop being my wife pretty quick.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

The concept is rooted in the idea of wives as property of the husband, and the action of the female in relation to a given male is legitimate (not cuckold) or illegitimate. To be a cuckold indicates that the male has lost exclusive access/control of the female, with the implication that this is a bad thing, an offense to honor at least.

The term itself comes from the observation that among some bird species, females will sometimes mate (with or without knowledge of their long-term mate) with other males they have not pair-bonded with. Of course, the term historically does not address the pair-bonded male who has dalliances with other females...

 

[Draka]

So, if I were to dance with another man and my husband would be fine with it that would make him "cuckold" and that is a bad thing? What if he were to dance with another woman? (Not that he would dance with another woman as he doesn't dance period and I can't get him to dance with me which is why he would be okay with me dancing with another man )

 

[Godobeyer]

So, if I were to dance with another man and my husband would be fine with it that would make him "cuckold" and that is a bad thing? What if he were to dance with another woman? (Not that he would dance with another woman as he doesn't dance period and I can't get him to dance with me which is why he would be okay with me dancing with another man )

It's about other gender (opposite sex), do you agree that your husband dance with other woman, especially Samba ?

 

[Draka]

I am curious as to how far this goes, what is covered. If a woman has a male friend and they go hang out together to just talk or whatever, is that wrong? If a man does the same is that supposedly ok? Why is dancing a concern? Are all the husbands of women who go on shows such as "Dancing with the Stars" now cuckold? If a woman wants to learn to dance and her instructor is a man is that wrong? And kissing, doesn't that depend on the kiss? There is a big difference between a passionate French kiss and a simple sweet kiss on the cheek.

 

[Draka]

It's about other gender (opposite sex), do you agree that your husband dance with other woman, especially Samba ?

Hey, if he learns the Samba or any other dance I wouldn't care who was teaching him, I'd just like him to dance. He could learn from and dance with Jennifer Lopez, I'd be fine with it. He could then teach me.

 

[Godobeyer]

I am curious as to how far this goes, what is covered. If a woman has a male friend and they go hang out together to just talk or whatever, is that wrong? If a man does the same is that supposedly ok? Why is dancing a concern? Are all the husbands of women who go on shows such as "Dancing with the Stars" now cuckold? If a woman wants to learn to dance and her instructor is a man is that wrong? And kissing, doesn't that depend on the kiss? There is a big difference between a passionate French kiss and a simple sweet kiss on the cheek.

This is the point is there a justify for cuckold relationship?
What I considere as cuckold action, you may consider ordinary, and may modern and open mind!
What the limits of the relationship between two couple , for your opinion in this issue?

 

[Godobeyer]

Hey, if he learns the Samba or any other dance I wouldn't care who was teaching him, I'd just like him to dance. He could learn from and dance with Jennifer Lopez, I'd be fine with it. He could then teach me.

You'd like him to dance lol
Don't you jelaous for him ever ?!!
I want to marry a girl don't jelaous like you

 

[Draka]

I think if there is real love and trust within a relationship then there shouldn't be an issue with most of this stuff. If you love someone, if you trust them, you should have no reason to get jealous. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. Jealously indicates a lack of trust. If you love and trust your wife, trust that she loves you as well, then should it really matter if she dances with another man? Especially if she loves to dance and you don't? Would you deny her the pleasure of dancing because you don't dance?

I had a male friend contact me several weeks ago. Said he was going out to a bar and wanted to know if I would like to go as he hadn't talked to me in a while and would like to catch up (he knew I was married so it wasn't like he was trying to pick me up). My husband had no problem with this. Told me to go out and have fun. Why? Because he trusts me. So I went, sat at a bar, had a few drinks and chit-chatted with my friend for a few hours and then came home. The most intimate thing that happened was a quick hug goodbye. In your opinion @Godobeyer , would you consider him cuckold?

 

[Draka]

Is "cuckold" a derogatory term? Something cruel, or one should be ashamed of being?

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

I find the concept out of place in modern society. The idea that a male (husband, father, brother--any male relation at all, it seems in some societies) should have any expectation of right to control access to or the activities of any related female (especially wife) to be inconsistent with modern ideals of equality and individual rights. (yes, I think there should be an exception for minor children, but it applies to both males and females.)

The idea that a man SHOULD feel jealous, SHOULD be concerned/take offense if his wife/sister/daughter even so much as TALKS to an unrelated man (much less dances, kisses, holds hands with, etc.), SHOULD take action to protect the family honor if such control is violated, is wrong. Women are not property, and the whole notion of cuckold is rooted in the assumption that women are property that must be strictly controlled and "protected," or the male isn't a "real" man anymore.

 

[Debater Slayer]

I find the prevalence of extreme jealousy in my culture of origin unfortunate. For those who don't know, there is an Arabic word, dayooth, that means "male pig." It refers to someone who doesn't feel jealousy in certain ways about his wife. In Arab societies, this includes a man's feeling jealous when his wife kisses, hugs, dances with, or in some cases even shakes hands with another man, even in non-sexual ways. It also usually includes feeling jealous when his wife has male friends--and, of course, it obviously includes when his wife having sexual relations with another man or men.

I generally find the concept archaic and irrational, personally, when it is applied to non-sexual acts in monogamous relationships--in addition to being quite patriarchal and androcentric. In open relationships I have no idea if it would even exist; I can't say for sure because I'm familiar with far more people in monogamous ones. I wouldn't mind if my partner in a monogamous relationship (platonically) hugged, kissed, shook hands with, or became friends with other men as long as she and I trusted each other enough not to cheat on each other or let jealousy become a huge factor in our relationship. Assuming my first future relationship will be monogamous (which is most likely to be the case), I'll mainly expect honesty and trust. Pretty much everything after those is a detail to be worked out.

 

[Draka]

Yeah, such jealousy over such little things, to me, just seems highly immature and shows a great insecurity. I actually take jealousy as an indication of an immature man. I find trust much more mature. I don't want a man I have to tip toe around, have to reassure constantly of my love and devotion by cutting myself off from friends. If he loves me, trusts me, then he shouldn't care if I have a male friend or give him a hug, or even a kiss on the cheek for some reason or another. Some men I view as brothers. Closer to me than some blood relation. It doesn't mean that I am sexually attracted to them at all though or would do anything torrid with them. My ex-brother-in-law was like an actual brother to me. Probably closer to me than my own brother for a while. And when things fell apart with my ex-husband and I it was him that stood up for me against his own brother's verbal abuse. It was my B-I-L who helped me grieve a loss and get through it. He will always be considered to me a dear friend. The idea that if I hugged him, or kissed his cheek or wanted to spend time with him would say something bad about my current husband...it sounds absurd to me. Luckily my husband has no issues with me having male friends. He has female friends. It's not natural to cut oneself off from friendships and bonds with the opposite sex just to appease someone else's insecurities. No one should have to. Jealousy is ugly.

 

[Godobeyer]

I find the prevalence of extreme jealousy in my culture of origin unfortunate. For those who don't know, there is an Arabic word, dayooth, that means "male pig." It refers to someone who doesn't feel jealousy in certain ways about his wife. In Arab societies, this includes a man's feeling jealous when his wife kisses, hugs, dances with, or in some cases even shakes hands with another man, even in non-sexual ways. It also usually includes feeling jealous when his wife has male friends--and, of course, it obviously includes when his wife having sexual relations with another man or men.

This is true

I generally find the concept archaic and irrational, personally, when it is applied to non-sexual acts in monogamous relationships--in addition to being quite patriarchal and androcentric. In open relationships I have no idea if it would even exist; I can't say for sure because I'm familiar with far more people in monogamous ones. I wouldn't mind if my partner in a monogamous relationship (platonically) hugged, kissed, shook hands with, or became friends with other men as long as she and I trusted each other enough not to cheat on each other or let jealousy become a huge factor in our relationship. Assuming my first future relationship will be monogamous (which is most likely to be the case), I'll mainly expect honesty and trust. Pretty much everything after those is a detail to be worked out.

for your opinion ,if someone trust his wife, he suppose not jealousy at all ?

Just curious what your jealousy limites ?

 

[Godobeyer]

Yeah, such jealousy over such little things, to me, just seems highly immature and shows a great insecurity. I actually take jealousy as an indication of an immature man. I find trust much more mature. I don't want a man I have to tip toe around, have to reassure constantly of my love and devotion by cutting myself off from friends. If he loves me, trusts me, then he shouldn't care if I have a male friend or give him a hug, or even a kiss on the cheek for some reason or another. Some men I view as brothers. Closer to me than some blood relation. It doesn't mean that I am sexually attracted to them at all though or would do anything torrid with them. My ex-brother-in-law was like an actual brother to me. Probably closer to me than my own brother for a while. And when things fell apart with my ex-husband and I it was him that stood up for me against his own brother's verbal abuse. It was my B-I-L who helped me grieve a loss and get through it. He will always be considered to me a dear friend. The idea that if I hugged him, or kissed his cheek or wanted to spend time with him would say something bad about my current husband...it sounds absurd to me. Luckily my husband has no issues with me having male friends. He has female friends. It's not natural to cut oneself off from friendships and bonds with the opposite sex just to appease someone else's insecurities. No one should have to. Jealousy is ugly.

Jealousy suppose not very over reaction or be very sensitive, to be normal is best way.

IF jealousy is ulgy , how about cuckold !!?

I think if there is real love and trust within a relationship then there shouldn't be an issue with most of this stuff. If you love someone, if you trust them, you should have no reason to get jealous. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. Jealously indicates a lack of trust. If you love and trust your wife, trust that she loves you as well, then should it really matter if she dances with another man? Especially if she loves to dance and you don't? Would you deny her the pleasure of dancing because you don't dance?

I had a male friend contact me several weeks ago. Said he was going out to a bar and wanted to know if I would like to go as he hadn't talked to me in a while and would like to catch up (he knew I was married so it wasn't like he was trying to pick me up). My husband had no problem with this. Told me to go out and have fun. Why? Because he trusts me. So I went, sat at a bar, had a few drinks and chit-chatted with my friend for a few hours and then came home. The most intimate thing that happened was a quick hug goodbye. In your opinion @Godobeyer , would you consider him cuckold?

In my culture and way of life , quick hug or kiss or date with male friend in bar are cuckold actions.
I would trust my wife of course , but I certainly feel jealousy when I saw her dancing or hug males (not her relatives).