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Crybaby

Discussion in 'The Social World' started by SalixIncendium, Aug 18, 2022.

?
  1. It's acceptable at any time, regardless of gender.

    14 vote(s)
    73.7%
  2. It's acceptable only for women to cry in public.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. It's acceptable only for men to cry in public.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. It's acceptable for either gender, so long as it's done privately.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. It's acceptable for women in public, but for men only in private.

    1 vote(s)
    5.3%
  6. It's acceptable for men in public, but for women only in private.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  7. It's acceptable for either gender, but only in private.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  8. Crying isn't acceptable.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  9. Salix, stop being such a crybaby.

    9 vote(s)
    47.4%
  10. Other (specify below)

    3 vote(s)
    15.8%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium Veteran Member
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    Do you cry? Do you feel it's socially acceptable to cry? For women? For men? Both?

    If it's more socially acceptable for one gender to cry in public than another, why?
     
  2. The Hammer

    The Hammer Fork-Beard
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    Iiiffff.... Your upset and you know it, cry out loud.

    If your upset and you know it cry out loud.

    If your upset and you know it, then it's really time to show it. If your upset and you know it cry out loud.
     
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  3. RayofLight

    RayofLight Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    It should be acceptable for anyone regardless of gender and ok anywhere.

     
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  4. crossfire

    crossfire Antinomian feminist heretic freak ☿
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    It's ok to cry and not make a big deal about it.

    It is not ok to make a dramatic show of crying in order to specifically manipulate someone. (That's what 2-year-olds do, not adults.)
     
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  5. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Unknown Member
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    Gender is irrelevant, I think, when it comes to crying. Its fine to cry. For men or women(or anywhere in between).

    But I agree with this:
    There are times people cry to call attention to themselves, to manipulate feelings, or to get reactions and that isn't acceptable.
     
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  6. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    This.
     
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  7. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    It strikes me that most...myself included, have answered based on their own opinions.
    I would add that I think there are more social constraints around when men 'should' cry, but it's much less constrained than it was historically.
     
  8. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    I don't (can't?) cry at funerals but I cry at Hindu temples. Different kind of crying though. Gender doesn't matter at all. I have an old friend (male) who would lose half his body weight in tears at funerals.
     
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  9. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Unknown Member
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    It is different, isn't it. Doesn't feel the same at all.
     
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  10. The Sum of Awe

    The Sum of Awe Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.

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    This is all actually happening. What the heck???
    For me personally? I keep it all in, but I'm becoming less afraid to open up about certain subjects if they seem relevant to the conversation - and I make myself talk calmly about them.

    Of course if I was in absolute distress to where I had to cry I wouldn't prevent myself.
     
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  11. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    There are many kinds of crying: joy, pain, sadness, bhakti, despair ... Maybe it's a new thread.
     
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  12. Aštra’el

    Aštra’el Aštara, Blade of Aštoreth

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    Generally I find it better to control what capacity for emotion I have left, rather than make a revealing display out of whatever pain might be there.

    But there are exceptions.

    Tears fell once this year when I lost a family member. Tears fell seven years ago when I lost a family member. Those are the last two times I can remember. Even then, it was to myself. Those two people were rooted in my childhood, meant a great deal to me, and helped me build up the person I am now. So, it wasn’t just me in pain, but childhood me, and every version of me since. Memories, mourning memories.

    Usually I am far better at handling pain and death. Let’s just say I know it well enough to have built up a tolerance, that most of the time when horrible things happen I just handle things expressionless and without emotion.

    As for other people…. I would encourage something similar, to be honest, especially in males. Though… I do not expect it. I have lived a certain kind of life, that has helped construct and reinforce this perspective. Many have not.
     
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  13. F1fan

    F1fan Well-Known Member

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    In the penultimate episode of Better Call Saul last week one of the main characters broke down on an airport bus. The scene illustrated how we humans try to hold back our emotions in public, and that breaking down the way the character did is very disturbing in public spaces. We don't often see people overly emotional in public, with anger being an exception.
     
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  14. Estro Felino

    Estro Felino Believer in free will
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    The results of the poll say it all.
    Crying is genderless and absolutely normal.
     
    #14 Estro Felino, Aug 18, 2022
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2022
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  15. questfortruth

    questfortruth Well-Known Member

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    It is very welcomed to cry in graveyard.
     
  16. Sedim Haba

    Sedim Haba Active Member

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    Yes
    What do you mean? Socially acceptable to me or society at large? Me, I'm fine with anyone.

    "It's acceptable for women in public, but for men only in private." is what I feel is social norm.
    Myself, I will cry in public, but only if I can hide my face, if only in my arms / hands.
    I have seen my face when I cry, it's hideous. Well, more hideous than usual.
     
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  17. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
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    Male or female, if you need to cry then let it out, without drama, just do it. Who knows the reason you need to cry except you.
    Get it seen to, pull yourself together as best you can and get on with life.
     
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  18. Mock Turtle

    Mock Turtle 'Some of you humans are just so funny!'
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    I cried last night, watching the film Empire of the Sun on TV, which I have seen many times before - during the scene where the boy is reunited with his parents and hardly recognises them after being apart for three years and in such inappropriate circumstances for any child - as to just surviving. How could one not be emotionally at one with him and his parents?

    I think that if more people were in touch with their emotions then we might not have the behaviour and actions seemingly driven by logic and/or ideals or beliefs.

    Crying often just releases or expresses our feelings, and such being truer than much else.
     
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  19. Ashoka

    Ashoka Dia duit Bríd

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    It's okay to cry. Expressing emotions is very healthy. Regardless of gender.
     
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  20. RayofLight

    RayofLight Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    I have a problem with folk saying as long as it's not dramatic. I have autism. This means I have meltdowns. It's very hard stopping from having a meltdown when they occur. I also am not always in control during. The only way to stop one while they are occuring is to shut down and that sometimes can put me in a catatonic state. And sometimes what triggers a meltdown seems like such a small thing to neurotypicals some folk have stated "It's not that serious.". Also just cuz the crying seems outta portion to what you see- it might not be. It might seem like no big deal to you but clearly it is to that person who knows they might have emotional dysregulation which comes commonly with many disorders or they might have trauma and said mild thing triggered it and you think it was mild cuz you don't know about said trauma. Then there's temper tandrums. Sure if it's a kid they could be trying to manipulate you. But kids have a hard time with emotional regulation. Very mild things such as taking a toy away so they can go eat dinner or something can cause them to get emotional and they may act out and have a temper tandrum cuz of it. With adults there also could be reasons for said temper tandrum. The thing is knowing the reason behind the behavior is important. Yeah sometimes it's ridiculous not going to lie. Some things dont need a tempertandrum like a person throwing one cuz they made a racist comment and didn't like they got called out on it or throwing a plate at a wall cuz you the president and don't like the TV. But other times again there's a reason why humans throw temper tantrums and you can't always just immediately be like don't do that instead you'd need to know why they expressing emotion in such way before judging them it's a form of communication behavior is. And they probably will need to learn if they throwing stuff how to express emotion better and how to regulate emotions better maybe need a therapist.

    As for crying just for attention and such may be there's an unmet need there. That person may also need help or maybe they are in serious pain. I can't judge them for that without knowing why they want that attention.
     
    #20 RayofLight, Aug 19, 2022
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2022
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