Alceste
Vagabond
There's been some question of whether it's "sexist" for women to consider the sexual assault threat level of any strange men who approach them. I don't want to argue about that, I just want to share some of my own experiences that have caused me to exercise caution with men who approach me, and I want to hear your experiences too. Whether you're a man or a woman, whether your creeper was a man or a woman, gay, straight, whatever. For me, it just happens to be the case that all the creepers I've felt personally menaced by were men, but I know some of you have been creeped on by the ladies, and I'm curious to hear those stories as well.
Here's one of mine. When I was about eleven or twelve, I went to the mall with a friend to see a movie. At one point, my friend went to the bathroom and I waited outside on a bench.
A middle eastern man in his 30s or 40s sat down next to me and started to ask me personal questions. My name, where I live, where I go to school, etc. I didn't want to be rude, but I lied.
My friend was taking ages in the bathroom, and I was feeling really uncomfortable with this dude, so I told him I had to go buy tickets and said goodbye, nice chat, have a nice day, whatever.
He followed me to the ticket kiosk and got in line behind me. I switched lines, so did he.
So I left the line and scarpered, went to lose him in the mall crowd. I went down some stairs to where the shops were, tucked myself into a corner and watched to see if he followed.
He did.
As it turned out, the shops were closed (Sunday in the eighties) and there was no crowd to lose myself in. Just me and the creeper in a big empty mall.
So I ran, periodically checking to see if he was following. He was, at a brisk pace.
Finally I got enough distance to put him a few twists and turns behind me, lost him and went back to the theatre to find my friend.
While that experience was more bewildering / exciting than frightening at the time, in hindsight - from a place of really understanding the sort of thing he intended to do if he caught me - it is freaking terrifying to think about. I could have ended up on a milk carton, one of those missing girls police often prefer to assume simply ran away from home.
So this is one experience I've had that have left me more cautious around strange men in general, but particularly any who remind me of that particular strange man, and his particular brand of strangeness - which did start out with a cold approach / casual chat.
Here's one of mine. When I was about eleven or twelve, I went to the mall with a friend to see a movie. At one point, my friend went to the bathroom and I waited outside on a bench.
A middle eastern man in his 30s or 40s sat down next to me and started to ask me personal questions. My name, where I live, where I go to school, etc. I didn't want to be rude, but I lied.
My friend was taking ages in the bathroom, and I was feeling really uncomfortable with this dude, so I told him I had to go buy tickets and said goodbye, nice chat, have a nice day, whatever.
He followed me to the ticket kiosk and got in line behind me. I switched lines, so did he.
So I left the line and scarpered, went to lose him in the mall crowd. I went down some stairs to where the shops were, tucked myself into a corner and watched to see if he followed.
He did.
As it turned out, the shops were closed (Sunday in the eighties) and there was no crowd to lose myself in. Just me and the creeper in a big empty mall.
So I ran, periodically checking to see if he was following. He was, at a brisk pace.
Finally I got enough distance to put him a few twists and turns behind me, lost him and went back to the theatre to find my friend.
While that experience was more bewildering / exciting than frightening at the time, in hindsight - from a place of really understanding the sort of thing he intended to do if he caught me - it is freaking terrifying to think about. I could have ended up on a milk carton, one of those missing girls police often prefer to assume simply ran away from home.
So this is one experience I've had that have left me more cautious around strange men in general, but particularly any who remind me of that particular strange man, and his particular brand of strangeness - which did start out with a cold approach / casual chat.
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