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Conquering Your Demons

SigurdReginson

Grēne Mann
Premium Member
We all struggle with our own personal horrors in life. We can either do nothing and succumb to their sway, or we can actively fight against them and attempt to gain mastery over them. Most often times we struggle with these things for the rest of our lives, but sometimes we are able to conquer them completely (seemingly).

For me, mine have always been escapism. It ruled my life for much of my life, and it took many different forms, whether it be through substances, hobbies, or my religion. I didn't even know what my demons were until later on in life, and only through self realization. I sought to better understand it through more escapism (in exploring other religions), but in seeking that escapism, I found the boundaries of where my escapism was based. I was able to see how it influenced the way I thought, and I was able to step away from it.

That was the first real demon I fought.

The second one was based in self delusion. It took the forms of self sacrifice, self neglect, and avoidant behavior. That one was much easier to identify, since I had a good friend who brought a lot of these behaviors to my attention. I am pretty observent when it comes to others, but pretty out of touch when it comes to myself. Because of that help, though, fighting it has only taken a few years. I fought my way through a toxic relationship that bound and ruled me, and I've since taken for myself my own life. That part of it is a very recent thing for me, though...

Still! Those are just some examples... I'd like to hear about your struggles, and how you face them. :)

I'm not so concerned what your demons are... That's a very personal thing. What I'm more interested in is in how you came to know of your demons. Did you have a realization? Was it brought to your attention by someone else? Did you know from the very beginning? How did they make themselves known to you?

Once known, did you attempt to fight them? Maybe you ignored them and try to live around them. Maybe you waited and learned how you could best tackle them. How do you live with, or fight against those demons?
 
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SigurdReginson

Grēne Mann
Premium Member
You don't battle your demons--you heal them.

Hmmm... How does one heal something when they are actively participating in it? I had to step away from it and climb out of the morass of my behavior before I could turn around and begin that healing process. That required the fight of my life- twice over.

One must remove the bullet before they can sew the wound shut, otherwise they deal with living with shrapnel for the rest of their life.
 

ValdresRose

Member
I'm not so concerned what your demons are... That's a very personal thing. What I'm more interested in is in how you came to know of your demons. Did you have a realization? Was it brought to your attention by someone else? Did you know from the very beginning? How did they make themselves known to you?

We observe our behavior and we do self-realization. If I fall over drunk at a party I have a problem with alcohol and sooner or later, a friend will alert me, or I will question my experience. If I admit to myself that I have a problem, - Demon, and I accept that I have a problem, now I can began to understand it and do something about it.
I can go to AA for help and join the abstainers but that does not remove the Demon. I can live with the Demon, and many AA people do just that. They never cross over to mental health but at least they stop damaging themselves.
How do we heal the Demon? First we pay attention to our emotions, if we have any. If we can't feel our emotions we watch our thoughts. What am I thinking? Judgement of something or someone? I'm feeling anger. If I'm thinking sexual thoughts, - I'm actually feeling loneliness. If we don't feel our emotions we will almost always react to them without knowing it. I grab something to eat, I've probably conditioned myself to eat in place of feeling loneliness.
Watch for addictive behavior. How do I know if I'm addicted to something? Easy!!! Imagine that you will never have that agent again for the rest of your life, do you feel fear? If you do you're addicted to that substance or behavior! The problem with addictions is that we never get access to our feelings. Our addictions block out our feelings.
When we're done with understanding our Demon/Demons we have one more step, forgive ourselves. But be aware, in the meantime you're going to be doing a lot of crying. Because crying is the healing feeling. We must learn to cry, we can not overcome our sorrows by any other means.
 

crossfire

LHP Mercuræn Feminist Heretic ☿
Premium Member
Hmmm... How does one heal something when they are actively participating in it? I had to step away from it and climb out of the morass of my behavior before I could turn around and begin that healing process. That required the fight of my life- twice over.

One must remove the bullet before they can sew the wound shut, otherwise they deal with living with shrapnel for the rest of their life.
Yep. Stopping the inflicting of wounds is part of healing.
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
We all struggle with our own personal horrors in life. We can either do nothing and succumb to their sway, or we can actively fight against them and attempt to gain mastery over them. Most often times we struggle with these things for the rest of our lives, but sometimes we are able to conquer them completely (seemingly).

For me, mine have always been escapism. It ruled my life for much of my life, and it took many different forms, whether it be through substances, hobbies, or my religion. I didn't even know what my demons were until later on in life, and only through self realization. I sought to better understand it through more escapism (in exploring other religions), but in seeking that escapism, I found the boundaries of where my escapism was based. I was able to see how it influenced the way I thought, and I was able to step away from it.

That was the first real demon I fought.

The second one was based in self delusion. It took the forms of self sacrifice, self neglect, and avoidant behavior. That one was much easier to identify, since I had a good friend who brought a lot of these behaviors to my attention. I am pretty observent when it comes to others, but pretty out of touch when it comes to myself. Because of that help, though, fighting it has only taken a few years. I fought my way through a toxic relationship that bound and ruled me, and I've since taken for myself my own life. That part of it is a very recent thing for me, though...

Still! Those are just some examples... I'd like to hear about your struggles, and how you face them. :)

I'm not so concerned what your demons are... That's a very personal thing. What I'm more interested in is in how you came to know of your demons. Did you have a realization? Was it brought to your attention by someone else? Did you know from the very beginning? How did they make themselves known to you?

Once known, did you attempt to fight them? Maybe you ignored them and try to live around them. Maybe you waited and learned how you could best tackle them. How do you live with, or fight against those demons?

I see it as my subconscious mind trying to influence my thoughts and actions. I became very self-skeptical.
Mainly my negative thoughts/emotions, I didn't trust them. For a while, I saw the subconscious mind as an enemy.

When I became skeptical of the negative stuff, my subconscious mind stopped pushing it as much.

It's not perfect but most of the negative stuff blows over pretty quickly now.

I no longer see the subconscious mind as an enemy but as a tool, I have to learn to work with.
 

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
I live in my head a lot. I have conversations in my head that don't happen, or I imagine all the things I want to do, but don't take any steps to do them. I still struggle with it.

I'm not sure when I became aware of it, but I have realized it impacts quality of life. I am too busy thinking, and not spending enough time doing. Trying to practice mindfulness helps, though I still have a long ways to go. Sometimes just stopping and redirecting can make a difference...

I think I'll probably always have some issues with this, but I'd like to minimize the behavior.
 

ValdresRose

Member
I live in my head a lot. I have conversations in my head that don't happen, or I imagine all the things I want to do, but don't take any steps to do them. I still struggle with it.

This is an exercise I often use: What am I feeling right now? Sometimes it's depression, I don't want to do anything. Solution, get up and walk around, just get up and walk, walk outside, inside, the point is to just move. Exercise releases a feel-good hormone in our brain. Also, it raises my self worth, I'm doing something healthy for my body, I'm doing the right thing.

What am I feeling right now? Fear - I'm typing out this comment and it might not go over too well, someone might criticize me for my effort. Solution: Big deal, so I'm screwing up. who cares. What is my benefited? I'm exercising compassion, I'm trying to help a fellow human being. What else? I'm trying to do the right thing so it boosts my self worth.

If I'm in contact with someone: We usually try to think of the next thing we're going to say instead of listening to the person talking. We don't listen!! When we actually listen to the other person and ask the question to our self: What am I feeling right now? We usually get it right. I guess it's called awareness.
 

ValdresRose

Member
I no longer see the subconscious mind as an enemy but as a tool, I have to learn to work with.

Right! Our mind in neither our enemy or our friend, it's just our mind and it can mislead up. There is another way: try to pay attention to our emotions, they usually get it right. Our subconscious is feeding our ego, our false self. Our ego is working overtime in our subconscious to try to maintain the status quo. If we change, what's going to happen next? We don't know, so we're motivated by fear -- leave things alone. We'll never get out of our rut that way. You don't work with your subconscious, it works with you!!
 

ValdresRose

Member
Still! Those are just some examples... I'd like to hear about your struggles, and how you face them. :)

I found your Post very stimulating and thought provoking. The most destructive 'demon' in my life was dealing with alcohol. The medical cure of Dr. A. K. Hall. I knew I had a problem with it when I used binge drinking to 'liven up the party'. Through family history search I realized I was a member of an alcoholic family; drinkers, abstainers, etc. I still use alcohol but only in moderation, I know I'm an alcoholic! So I'm careful about imbibing. I've shared the information with my children and in some cases with my nephews and nieces; we are an alcoholic family and alcoholism rarely shows up among people who do not have a history of alcohol abuse in their family, so be careful.

But alcoholism is only a symptom, the cause is much deeper in my personality. Why am I using addictions? Why do I have an addictive personality? Because I'm blocking out feelings. Where do feeling arise from? From my emotions. Why don't I feel my emotions? Because I live in the Western Culture which does not promote expressions of feelings and emotions, and that avoidance extends back in the history of my heritage. Another reason is because I grew up in a dysfunctional family that was abusive and in order to survive I had to develop a personality that could cope, call it an ego. I lived in fear, and that 'base' fear controlled the choices in my life and to protect myself from exposure I needed to defend myself, using all sorts of defense mechanism. That is what causes denial, and denial doesn't let me get in touch with my feeling. But being here in the Forum gives me comfort, because I am everyone in this Forum.
 
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