Confused.

[Joseph Stephen]

Assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters,
As a revert, 6 years since Shahada?), I sometimes struggle, inner belief is that Islam is the true path, however when visiting groups intended for new Muslims I receive information/advice I'm not happy with. For example, on my last visit to such a group I was told I shouldn't visit my late Father's/partners graves, nor should I attend my mother's funeral when she dies as none of them were Muslims.
I've stopped attending these sessions and find myself almost alienated as I don't attend masjid anymore.
None actually declare which branch of Islam they are following but I have my suspicions. Surely this isn't Islam?
Yusuf.

 

[Pastek]

For example, on my last visit to such a group I was told I shouldn't visit my late Father's/partners graves, nor should I attend my mother's funeral when she dies as none of them were Muslims.
Yusuf.

Wa'likum assalam

You can visit non muslims graves.

“The Prophet (ﷺ) visited the grave of his mother and wept, causing the people around him to weep.
Then he said: ‘I asked my Lord for permission to seek forgiveness for her, but He did not give me permission.
Then I asked my Lord for permission to visit her grave and He gave me permission.
So visit the graves, for they will remind you of death.’”

Hadith - Chapters Regarding Funerals - Sunan Ibn Majah - Sunnah.com - Sayings and Teachings of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم)

 

[Joseph Stephen]

Wa'likum assalam

You can visit non muslims graves.

“The Prophet (ﷺ) visited the grave of his mother and wept, causing the people around him to weep.
Then he said: ‘I asked my Lord for permission to seek forgiveness for her, but He did not give me permission.
Then I asked my Lord for permission to visit her grave and He gave me permission.
So visit the graves, for they will remind you of death.’”

Hadith - Chapters Regarding Funerals - Sunan Ibn Majah - Sunnah.com - Sayings and Teachings of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم)

Jazak Allah Khair for your reply.

 

[Firemorphic]

Assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters,
As a revert, 6 years since Shahada?), I sometimes struggle, inner belief is that Islam is the true path, however when visiting groups intended for new Muslims I receive information/advice I'm not happy with. For example, on my last visit to such a group I was told I shouldn't visit my late Father's/partners graves, nor should I attend my mother's funeral when she dies as none of them were Muslims.
I've stopped attending these sessions and find myself almost alienated as I don't attend masjid anymore.
None actually declare which branch of Islam they are following but I have my suspicions. Surely this isn't Islam?
Yusuf.

If they're obsessed over graves then they're clearly not Sunni or Shia, they'd be Salafis.
For an outsider it's kind of difficult to navigate the Muslim world, your experience is understandable (I'd think the same thing in your place).
Respect of family and loved ones is a big thing in proper Islam, so is paying your respects to those who have passed. It's part of our duty in this world.

 

[Joseph Stephen]

If they're obsessed over graves then they're clearly not Sunni or Shia, they'd be Salafis.
For an outsider it's kind of difficult to navigate the Muslim world, your experience is understandable (I'd think the same thing in your place).
Respect of family and loved ones is a big thing in proper Islam, so is paying your respects to those who have passed. It's part of our duty in this world.

Jazak Allah Khair for your reply, it can be very confusing for those coming to Islam to hear "advice" which isn't comfortable and drives them away from the religion.

 

[Gharib]

Hi Joseph,

Being a new muslim in todays world is very problematic and confusing. Even having been born into a Muslim family is just as problematic if not more.
The advice I give people is to follow one of the 4 Madhhabs (Schools of legal thought). They are well established and come to us from a time that was blessed with knowledge and a time for which we are told the best of people will come from.

Those schools are namely, Hanafi, Maliki, Shafi and Hanbali. These schools are based on collective agreement between scholars unlike what you have come across which is more likely wahabi/salafi idiocy where by even the most ignorant is encouraged to "read the hadith and qur'an and see the evidence for themselves".

Among the 4 schools you will find minor differences which we tolerate among ourselves and are never a source of conflict. However, based on my personal experiences and studies, I would recommend the Hanafi school as the audience of this school from the get go was about addressing the issues of new Muslims that came from all different walks of life while also catering to existing Muslims just as much.

Anyway, all the best to you and I hope it only gets easier and not harder.

 

[Pastek]

I agree a lot of people -even sometimes muslims- mislead other people because of a lack of knowledge.

For exemple I remember when younger some other muslims friends (so i was a teenager) said that during Ramadhan it wasn't possible to brush teeths because of the "risk to drink some water". I always believed it was stupid and i brushed my teeths during Ramadhan.
It's important for a muslim to always be clean.

When people make udhuu they put water on their mouth, no ?
Well i saw recently on tv an imam very angry against a women who said she prefered not to pray instead of doing udhoo and put water on her mouth during Ramadhan because she was afraid her day would be canceled...
The Imam said it was stupid and it was worse to not pray.

So as you can see you always have people who think by themselves, sometimes born muslims and they go to a certain extrem without thinking correctly or asking an Imam. And some reverts may listen to them.

Just like said @Gharib follow one of the 4 madhabs.