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Conflicting Parents

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by Rival, Apr 14, 2021.

  1. Rival

    Rival Ankh, Wedja, Seneb
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    So I live with my grandparents and my dad. Here's the situation.

    Nana: Feed the cat two sachets of food a day and a small amount of biscuits.

    Dad: WHY ARE YOU GIVING THE CAT TWO SACHETS OF FOOD. ONLY GIVE IT ONE AND SOME BISCUITS.

    Me: ................................

    Why does this happen? His mother said 'do this'.

    Is it so hard for him to obey his mother in this excruciatingly simple task? Then I wouldn't have a conflict of interest having conflicting orders from two parents.

    Is obedience hard or something? This really annoys me.

    What would you do? I'm a hierachy person so stuff like this really messes me up.
     
    #1 Rival, Apr 14, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2021
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  2. Left Coast

    Left Coast Happy Spring!
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    I would say, "Nana asked me to give the cat two. Take it up with her."
     
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  3. Rival

    Rival Ankh, Wedja, Seneb
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    I did. He doesn't like communication without anger, so it erupts.
     
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  4. Left Coast

    Left Coast Happy Spring!
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    In that case, I would say, "Okay Dad," and only give the cat one. And then talk to Nana and tell her he told you to only give one.
     
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  5. Quagmire

    Quagmire Imaginary talking monkey
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    Tell them both to go **** themselves, then try to figure out what's best for you and the cat.
     
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  6. RayofLight

    RayofLight They/Them

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    I hate that. You have my sympathies.
     
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  7. Rival

    Rival Ankh, Wedja, Seneb
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    I don't get why it's so hard for dad to be like 'Oh okay. My mother said I should do this reasonable thing.'

    It's just absurd.
     
    #7 Rival, Apr 14, 2021
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  8. sun rise

    sun rise "This is the Hour of God"
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    It is. And it is what makes life so difficult because that spirit of conflict and anger is so widespread these days.
     
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  9. Quagmire

    Quagmire Imaginary talking monkey
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    Some people prefer absurd to reasonable.

    If someone has a lot of drama going on between their ears they have to create drama on the outside to equalize the pressure.
     
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  10. Polymath257

    Polymath257 Think & Care
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    I don't see it as a matter of obedience at all. I see it as a question of how much food the cat needs and of what type.

    It sounds like your dad has some issues with his mother. I'd say to both of them you don't want to be in between. Then make your own decision about what to feed the cat (how about 3 sachets of food?). Maybe ask a vet what is best.
     
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  11. Rival

    Rival Ankh, Wedja, Seneb
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    We have. The cat is on a diet and nana worked out specifically what he needed based on what the vet said and what the cat's weight is. She asked me specifically to feed the cat this particular diet. Then dad comes in, who did not go to the vet with my grandparents nor read the packets of cat food, saying 'No this'.

    Dad is authority avoidant or something. He can't stand being told what to do or when folks disagree with him.
     
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  12. Polymath257

    Polymath257 Think & Care
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    Then tell your dad to go for a long walk and ignore the food the cat gets.
     
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  13. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Veteran Member
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    There is no solution, so don't feel bad about how its handled. Also the cat can feed itself in a pinch, so there is not really any concern about 1 or 2. If the temperature drops then be more careful about having enough food, but its probably fine.
     
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  14. Quagmire

    Quagmire Imaginary talking monkey
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    I think the important thing to keep in mind here is that when it comes to your dad's attitude it most likely has nothing to do with you or anything you're doing.

    From what I've heard you say about your father he sounds like the kind of guy that goes through life looking for things to be angry about. If that's the case he's going to find something no matter what anybody does or doesn't do.

    You can't really appease someone like that. And thinking that you can, or should have been able to, will cause you all kinds of unnecessary stress.
     
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  15. Tony Bristow-Stagg

    Tony Bristow-Stagg One Planet One People Please
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    What do the instructions on the pack say?

    They usually have the recommended meal size to pet weight ratio on the packet and these meal sizes would be from best practice industry advice.

    If the job is given to you to do, we'll do the best job you can, with the best advice available.

    That information will either support your Nanna or your Father in their advice and enable you to approach the conversations with a balanced reply.

    It is no fun being the meat in the sandwich, so all the best with your reconciliation of this issue.

    Regards Tony
     
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  16. Valjean

    Valjean Veteran Member
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    Me, I'm a "question authority" type, and distrust unqualified hierarchies or individual opinions.

    What does the manufacturer or your vet recommend for a cat of "X" size, activity level and age? I'd give their opinions more weight than those of relatives.
     
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  17. Rival

    Rival Ankh, Wedja, Seneb
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  18. Tony Bristow-Stagg

    Tony Bristow-Stagg One Planet One People Please
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    This appears to be a personal issue your father needs to address.

    It is apparent you need to do the task your Nanna gave to you, as per the given instructions.

    I hope your father finds the help he needs.

    Regards Tony
     
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  19. Secret Chief

    Secret Chief Meghalayan Ape

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    Because people have different opinions?

    It's not hard for him, it's a matter of whether he thinks the task is the right thing to do or not.

    The issue is between them isn't it? It is for them to resolve (or not).

    The issue is not one of obedience. He won't comply with something he doesn't agree with. If there are personality traits impeding this so be it. You can't "fix" that; sounds like it's a persistent character trait.

    I can't help them resolve any issues between them. That is for them to address (or not). I might proffer my opinion on the subject of the food, given the cat needs a voice in this situation and I would be concerned for its health.
     
  20. Rival

    Rival Ankh, Wedja, Seneb
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    I'd otherwise agree with you, if not for the fact that my nana had literally gone and asked the vet what the cat needs and based the cat's diet on it and the information on the food packets. So for me this just looks like a case of him not doing what he's told by a person who knows better than him in this situation, which is senseless.
     
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