I have resolved my long-running spiritual conflict by recognising something about my own nature:
Mentally, I’m quite unusual. Some may say messed-up.
But I think I’ve finally figured myself out:
The English language lacks the necessary descriptive powers for me to be able to describe my condition, this is the best I can do but it is less than adequate:
I am one human being, with one soul, one mind, and one personality
But I am simultaneously two parallel people: two different versions of the same person!
Each has a different set of religious beliefs but have the same personality
Each defines himself by his religious beliefs
Let’s call them Eddi-1 and Eddi-2
Eddi-1 believes in a personal God (who does stuff) and an historical Jesus, whom he acknowledges as Lord and believes will return to Earth, but considers him more a human than divine. He is a liberal “Free Christian” (who is not interested in the various creeds) and he believes the bible is inspired, but not literal. He doesn’t know what to believe about the afterlife. He goes to church and spends time on RF to broaden his mind.
Eddi-2 believes in a distant, deist God (who does nothing) and who is no source of morality. He believes that this reality and all humans within it are parts of a computer simulation and that The Simulation (as he calls it) communicates with him via a being named Butterfly – which has lead to him being diagnosed as schizophrenic. He thinks the bible is mythology. He believes that after death people are reincarnated within The Simulation. He goes to church and spends time on RF to broaden his mind.
These two cannot be reconciled but they are both equally me
Sometimes on these boards you may encounter Eddi-1 and at other times Eddi-2
The two peacefully co-exist but are nonetheless in conflict with each other.
But the sad thing is, Eddi-2 gets in the way of me being a Christian and being accepted by other Christians (and believers) and also gets in the way of my relationship with God
I think Eddi-1 is my sane side and Eddi-2 my insane side!
At any one moment I am either neither or both, I don't know... Who am I as I am writing this? I don't know. I don't know which one I'm being until I start talking about my religious beliefs, then I know!
Perhaps I have one brain but two minds - or two faces???
I like to think Eddi-1 is more the real me than Eddi-2
And who or what is Butterfly??? That's the question...
Eddi-1 is based on a combination of faith and reason but Eddi-2 is sustained by my personal experience of The Simulation
It’s all very messed up, I know!
And I have no idea how it works
But at least my spiritual crisis has been resolved - I am two people with two different belief systems!
Thank you RF for helping me realise this, I couldn't have done this without you
Mentally, I’m quite unusual. Some may say messed-up.
But I think I’ve finally figured myself out:
The English language lacks the necessary descriptive powers for me to be able to describe my condition, this is the best I can do but it is less than adequate:
I am one human being, with one soul, one mind, and one personality
But I am simultaneously two parallel people: two different versions of the same person!
Each has a different set of religious beliefs but have the same personality
Each defines himself by his religious beliefs
Let’s call them Eddi-1 and Eddi-2
Eddi-1 believes in a personal God (who does stuff) and an historical Jesus, whom he acknowledges as Lord and believes will return to Earth, but considers him more a human than divine. He is a liberal “Free Christian” (who is not interested in the various creeds) and he believes the bible is inspired, but not literal. He doesn’t know what to believe about the afterlife. He goes to church and spends time on RF to broaden his mind.
Eddi-2 believes in a distant, deist God (who does nothing) and who is no source of morality. He believes that this reality and all humans within it are parts of a computer simulation and that The Simulation (as he calls it) communicates with him via a being named Butterfly – which has lead to him being diagnosed as schizophrenic. He thinks the bible is mythology. He believes that after death people are reincarnated within The Simulation. He goes to church and spends time on RF to broaden his mind.
These two cannot be reconciled but they are both equally me
Sometimes on these boards you may encounter Eddi-1 and at other times Eddi-2
The two peacefully co-exist but are nonetheless in conflict with each other.
But the sad thing is, Eddi-2 gets in the way of me being a Christian and being accepted by other Christians (and believers) and also gets in the way of my relationship with God
I think Eddi-1 is my sane side and Eddi-2 my insane side!
At any one moment I am either neither or both, I don't know... Who am I as I am writing this? I don't know. I don't know which one I'm being until I start talking about my religious beliefs, then I know!
Perhaps I have one brain but two minds - or two faces???
I like to think Eddi-1 is more the real me than Eddi-2
And who or what is Butterfly??? That's the question...
Eddi-1 is based on a combination of faith and reason but Eddi-2 is sustained by my personal experience of The Simulation
It’s all very messed up, I know!
And I have no idea how it works
But at least my spiritual crisis has been resolved - I am two people with two different belief systems!
Thank you RF for helping me realise this, I couldn't have done this without you
