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Computer fun!

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Geoff-Allen, Jul 19, 2019.

  1. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Hope you are all well

    Just found this site -

    Friend: "You know that antivirus program you installed on my computer for me? It keeps popping up some sort of message about a trojan or something while I'm surfing on the internet. It doesn't seem to be doing anything about it because I keep getting the message, so I uninstalled the antivirus program. And now I don't get that message any more."

    RinkWorks Site Guide

    Also has tips on how to be romantic :)

    Enjoy!
     
  2. Nakosis

    Nakosis crystal soldier
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    Now I'm afraid to click on the link.
    [​IMG]
     
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  3. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    I suppose that is understandable ... :)

    So here's a coupe more you won't have to click on ...

    • Me: "DSL is a lot faster. It--"
    • Friend's Father: "Yeah, but if you have DSL, there are a lot of threats."
    • Me: "Yes, that's true to a degree, but there are firewalls that--"
    • Friend's Father: "No, but they can hack into your computer even when it's off and steal your electricity."
    • Me: "Umm...I'm pretty sure that won't happen."
    • Friend's Father: "It's all over the news. You mean to tell me they're wrong?"
    • Me: "...I guess so."

    I know a woman that believes there is a hacker attacking her computer. Every time there is a problem, or she gets an error message she is convinced it is "the hacker" messing with her. Almost every day she tells me "The hacker made me lose my document" or "The hacker made my email return with a wrong address message" or "The hacker made Explorer freeze today" or "The hacker made Napster lose its connection today" or "The hacker made a floppy unreadable" or "The hacker made the printer jam."

    She has even assumed her imaginary enemy has superhuman powers. When I tell her some of the things she says are impossible to do, she says, "He knows how to do it. He is a genius."

    She is sure this guy exists, and he devotes enormous resources and several hours a day, seven days a week to the sole purpose of bothering her.

    Enjoy your day!
     
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  4. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Laws of computing -
    1. If you have reached the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
    2. When you are computing, if someone is watching, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
    3. When the going gets tough, upgrade your computer.
    4. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.
    5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
    6. To err is human ... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
    7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
    8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
    9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
    10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
    Computer Jokes - Funny Jokes

    :)
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  5. Neutral Name

    Neutral Name Active Member

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    LOL. I'm a geek. I love it.
     
  6. Thief

    Thief Rogue Theologian

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    guys....listen up

    your every keystroke is monitored
    recorded
    searched for key words.....like …..bomb

    then the server slows your keystroke to get a better aim at what you do

    and if you participate in game threads....

    you are a loser



    oh sorry.....wrong thread
     
  7. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Glad to be of service to a fellow geek ...

    It's time to reassess your relationship with your computer when ...
    1. You wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop at the computer to check your email on the way back to bed.
    2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
    3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.
    4. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
    5. When you hand-write a note and think... SPELL CHECKER'!
    6. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a computer.
    7. When your computer's email box shows 'no new messages' and you feel really depressed.
    8. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they have non-descript screen name and you never bothered to ask.
    9. Your family always knows where you are.
    10. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say 'LOL, LOL'
    11. If your computer's internet connection goes down, you cannot settle to any other tasks.
    12. After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!
    :)
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. Thief

    Thief Rogue Theologian

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    so.....THAT's what the last email was for
     
  9. Thief

    Thief Rogue Theologian

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    you people are such good friends

    what would I do without you.....
     
  10. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    If you had no real friends you could always become a hermit & pursue enlightenment :)

    All the best!
     
  11. Thief

    Thief Rogue Theologian

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    what do you think I've been doing?

    and the epiphany happened a long time ago
     
  12. David T

    David T Well-Known Member
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    Have a joy filled life. Ha
     
  13. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
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    How about this...

    [​IMG]
     
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  14. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
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    Geek programmer choice:

    [​IMG]
     
  15. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
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    Perfection...

    [​IMG]
     
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