Is happiness a choice - according to pop songs? -
If you truly believe in the helpless-victim songs, take your little curled-up-hedgehog self to a therapist, who will help you see that you do have the ability to influence your emotions. But does this ability go as far as the happy-face songs imply? Is it possible to simply grab your emotional bootstraps and yank yourself into joy? Short answer: no. Longer answer: kind of.
If it were possible to simply will happiness, you and I would both be in ecstasy right now and people wouldn't be selling Ecstasy on the street. Despite our ever-growing arsenal of cheer-up drugs (legal and illegal), "the brain releases happy chemicals only in limited bursts, for specific aims," says psychology writer Loretta Breuning, PhD. "If you expect all the happy chemicals all the time, you're going to be disappointed." People who try to white-knuckle themselves into perpetual glee end up singing things like
I'm dying inside, and nobody knows it but me. And when the dam of denial finally breaks, whoa, Nellie! Here comes a flood of panic, rage and despair.
Martha Beck: Experiencing Pain Is the Only Way to Achieve Happiness