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Chuck Norris

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Feathers in Hair, Feb 13, 2007.

  1. darkpenguin

    darkpenguin Charismatic Enigma

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    Who the heck is Chuck Norris?
     
  2. angellous_evangellous

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    Now that's funny!

     
  3. MdmSzdWhtGuy

    MdmSzdWhtGuy Well-Known Member

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    On the very slim chance that you are not taking a HUGE risk and joking about Chuck Norris and your alleged lack of knowledge thereof, besides being my father, your father, and everybody's father who was born more than a year after his birth, Chuck Norris is an American film star, who catapulted to fame in the 1980's by using his legitimate martial arts skills and rugged good looks into a film career.

    He made a bunch of movies, all of which were action movies, most of which appeared to take longer to watch than to write, all of which were ultraviolent, and saw Chuck doing many larger than life things, such as taking on dozens if not hundreds of enemies and always ALWAYS coming out on top.

    In recent years college humor and some other similar sites have begun printing legends about Chuck Norris' feats and such in a tradition similar to Paul Bunyon (an American folklore legend). These Chuck Norris facts have grown in popularity to the point where there are several websites with such information, and a google search of "legend of Chuck Norris" or "Chuck Norris facts" will show you a ton of hits for such things.

    Now, if you didn't know that (which, frankly is hard to imagine) then I have done a bit to catch you up. If you already knew that stuff, which is much more likely as the information should be encoded into your genetic material since birth, then my breif dissertation was not needed, tho it was quite therapuetic, since I hate to go more than one or two days without writing something about Chuck Norris.

    I will leave you with this startling statistic. Rolling Stone magazine recently reported that all women fantasize about Chuck Norris when they are having sex with their husbands. This was not reported as a source of marital discord, however, because a later study showed that their husbands were also thinking about Chuck Norris.

    B.
     
  4. darkpenguin

    darkpenguin Charismatic Enigma

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    Yeah I looked him up on IMDB and to be honest the films I recognise are lame, I like a little more substance to my films!
    I don't see what all the fuss is about!
     
  5. MdmSzdWhtGuy

    MdmSzdWhtGuy Well-Known Member

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    It is probably a cultural thing. I really don't know how you could catch the joke of this whole thing without growing up on those lame movies.

    B.
     
  6. Feathers in Hair

    Feathers in Hair World's Tallest Hobbit

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    Penguin, it can be helpful to think of it as creating a myth out of a man. (Please don't tell Mr. Norris this, but I've never been able to sit through anything with him in it.) The more profoundly exaggerated the statement about Chuck's strength or whatever attribute, the more fun it is!
     
  7. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    Just to have fun, at making some ridiculous, yet funny, statements, such as "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door." I do know thier are Vin Desiel facts, but they are not as funny.
     
  8. MaddLlama

    MaddLlama Obstructor of justice

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    Pffft. To even try and conpare Chuck Norris with Vin Desiel is a rediculous idea. It's like comparing apples to roundhouse kicks. :p
     
  9. darkpenguin

    darkpenguin Charismatic Enigma

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    Now those ones would be funny to hear lol!
     
  10. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    Thier not. One of them goes "When Vin Diesel masturbates, god kills a tiger." Why have that when you could have "The Fast in the Furious was originally a documentary about people trying to become better drivers so they could attempt to flee from Chuck Norris if he should ever come after them in his truck. The racing theme was added on later to try and make it less obvious they are scared of Chuck Norris."
     
  11. angellous_evangellous

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    Mrs A_E did not even blink at these jokes.
     
  12. standing_on_one_foot

    standing_on_one_foot Well-Known Member

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    Is it bad I've started to hear really nerdy ones here at school?

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero and has counted to infinity...twice.
     
  13. Quoth The Raven

    Quoth The Raven Half Arsed Muse

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    Chuck Norris drives an icecream truck covered in human skulls.
     
  14. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    You should play World of Warcraft, make a Horde character, and go to The Barrens. Even if he is whispered, the jokes start flying. Thier is even a "ChucknNorris" Character.
     
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