Christians - Relationships

[drummrguy14]

Hello...
I am a 19 year old student in Boston, with a serious girlfriend of 2 years back home in MN. I came out to Boston in the beginning of September, and the first time I got to see Laura since I left was over thanksgiving. Starting around October, we began having serious discussions about the lack of spirituality in our relationship. She is a very devoted Christian, and I have not found where I feel I belong. I believe very strongly in God and His presence in every thing in creation..."The Holy Spirit," but have not found a spiritual home anywhere.

Now, its not that I have anything against Christianity, or any other religion. I was rasied in a United Methodist home and am very comfortable in Church settings...I just never felt like what I was being told fulfilled my spiritual desires. So I have been trying to sort out my beliefs over the past 2 years or so. In talking about this with Laura, she became increasingly more doubtful, but yet still seemed to have hope. We had planned on trying to find a place of Worship where we both felt comfortable when I got home for winter break...

However, over the Thanksgiving break, she tearfully told me she wanted to break up becasue I did not know Jesus. This came as a total shock to me, and I am probably the most upset I have ever been in my life.

Now here is my dillema...this girl is everything I could ever hope for. Our relationship has been so amazing and wonderful. I feel like me and her are meant to be together, and she has always said she felt the same. But now, since I've been gone, she has been hanging around with a new group of people, all of whom are very devoted Christians as well. She said that being around them has made her realize just how much she wished Christ was a part of our relationship, and that she felt like she has to shut God out when we're together becasue I dont neccesarily believe what she does.

So now, I'm feeling very torn...Our love is too special and too amazing just to let it walk away, but she has basically said that the only way for us to have a future is If I accept Christ...but also that I can't do it for her, that I have to do it for myself becasue I truly want it.

I have no idea what to do at this point...I am comfortable in my beliefs right now, but always try to keep an open heart to God creating change in me, so I am not against the thought of being moved to Christianity...but to seek it right now doesn't feel right. Or maybe I am just not looking at it the right way? But, at the same time, I am willing to do anything for her...if she needs change in me to be happy, than I will do whatever I can. Still, she said I can't do it for her....

Ok, so its obvious how confused I am. Help!

 

[Aqualung]

Why don't you suggest keeping things at the same "level" they are at right now (not going further, but certainly not going backward) and you will start to look at christianity. Then you can grow in that area, and it will probably strengthen your relationship with your girl as well. Is that feasible? or is that not really something that could work and I'm completely off base?

 

[michel]

I feel for you. I guess the most honest way of dealing with this would be to offer to learn about Christianity (if you are willing to do that, of course) as an 'offering' to make the girl happy; the only thing I would make clear, in your place would be that I couldn't of course, guarantee, anything.

 

[gtrsgrls]

I definantly feel your pain on this one.Me and my girlfriend recently broke up and it's the crapiest situation I've EVER had to be in.I know you guys haven't actually broke up I just mean I know the kind of pain your feeling.You know,just because at this point you don't exactly feel comfortable with certain beliefs,that doesn't necessarily mean they're wrong.I've been in tons of situations where I strongly don't feel right about a certain matter,but in the end I finally realized it was right.
.What I'm trying to say is that maybe just because you don't feel right about something now,than that doesn't mean you aren't going to end up changing your mind about it later.To be honest,I believe it's satan making you have those doubts about christianity.The bible says that satan is like a roaring lion,seeking whom he may devour.You could try reading the bible(I don't know if you do already)and maybe that would help you sort some of your feelings out.I hope everything works out for the best for you and Laura(i think that's who it is)I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[jeffrey]

I might be wrong, but if but if she's the Christian she claims to be, she should be trying to help you find Christianity more. My wife is from England, and when she came here, she knew very little about Christianity. She is still learning. She also still holds on to some of her Pagan beliefs, which I think is a good thing. In most relationships, one is going to be stronger towards a certain belief then the other. And if she wants to bail because of this, I think there is more to this then what she is saying

 

[shrop]

You should stop and ask yourself a few questions, before taking another step. First off, why is this girl so wonderful, and why do I feel like I am meant to be with her. My guess is that she is a wonderful person and companion because of Christ in her life. She has obviously felt a change for the better in herself and knows that your relationship could experience a change as well if you would except Christ. She is absolutely right that you cannot except Jesus for her, it has to be for you. So you need to seek deep within your soul and into the Word of God and determine if you are truly comfortable with your spirituality. You should also pray a sincere prayer to God asking him to show you the truth.

 

[michel]

You should stop and ask yourself a few questions, before taking another step. First off, why is this girl so wonderful, and why do I feel like I am meant to be with her. My guess is that she is a wonderful person and companion because of Christ in her life. She has obviously felt a change for the better in herself and knows that your relationship could experience a change as well if you would except Christ. She is absolutely right that you cannot except Jesus for her, it has to be for you. So you need to seek deep within your soul and into the Word of God and determine if you are truly comfortable with your spirituality. You should also pray a sincere prayer to God asking him to show you the truth.

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