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Christianity vs. my curious mind

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
I'm kind of confused right now in the following sense. I asked God to prove to me that Christianity in a more or less fundamentalist or orthodox sense was real and that I should follow it, I keep getting these things whenever I ask that just seems to point to the answer being "yes". The confusion comes in in that I feel like I would be changing my whole self to fit a belief set, and that doesn't sound like what I personally want for myself. I don't want to look through the world in glasses that tell me I'm going to heaven and people who don't believe are going to hell. And sometimes I feel like I'd rather drink the koolaid that is thinking everyone is equal and destined for heaven, which I have been told by some will lead me to the broad path that leads to hell.
 

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
Many churches do not believe in the "my way or the highway" approach that I find appalling as well, and this is why I left the church that I grew up in.
 

Left Coast

This Is Water
Staff member
Premium Member
...I keep getting these things whenever I ask that just seems to point to the answer being "yes".

Can I ask for example of one of these "things?"

The confusion comes in in that I feel like I would be changing my whole self to fit a belief set, and that doesn't sound like what I personally want for myself.

Sometimes belief systems, or parts of them, have a surface-level appeal to us, but we realize inside that other parts of them probably aren't true and feel very inauthentic. This has happened to me with a variety of different religions/churches before. I recognize now that I will probably always have a certain degree of attachment to religion or be enamored with it, but that doesnt mean it's actually true.

And sometimes I feel like I'd rather drink the koolaid that is thinking everyone is equal and destined for heaven, which I have been told by some will lead me to the broad path that leads to hell.

Hell is one of the most awful, psychologically abusive dogmas to ever be invented in my view. It taps into deep fear which prevents us from thinking rationally, especially if we're taught the idea as children.

I would just ask yourself, what reason do I have to actually believe there's a hell? If you don't have a good one, you know any fear you have of hell is irrational. Which I know doesn't make it suddenly go away, but it's a first step you can come back to as needed.
 

Windwalker

Veteran Member
Premium Member
I'm kind of confused right now in the following sense. I asked God to prove to me that Christianity in a more or less fundamentalist or orthodox sense was real and that I should follow it, I keep getting these things whenever I ask that just seems to point to the answer being "yes".
Which part of you is wanting to hear yes? Ultimately, what we choose to believe and follow is something within ourselves looking for that particular need to be addressed. Can that need be met in another way that doesn't come at the cost of other valuable things, such as intellectual honesty?

The confusion comes in in that I feel like I would be changing my whole self to fit a belief set, and that doesn't sound like what I personally want for myself.
As an example, let's say music is fulfilling to your soul, but the religious group you're in claims you should only listen to or play Christian music that is theologically sound with their doctrines, and never include rock elements to it. Or, that you should only believe what the Bible says about evolution, which happens to be their version of Young Earth Creationism, as another example.

I do not believe selling your soul for the promise of security in the form of Answers with a capital A from them is actually going to benefit the person spiritually.

I don't want to look through the world in glasses that tell me I'm going to heaven and people who don't believe are going to hell. And sometimes I feel like I'd rather drink the koolaid that is thinking everyone is equal and destined for heaven, which I have been told by some will lead me to the broad path that leads to hell.
I used to be part of a fundamentalist church in my early 20s, and it was this very thing that led me to reject them, believing that my parents and others in my life that were loving people were going to be sent to hell by God because they didn't have the right beliefs. That was the point at which all the rest of their created structure of doctrines and theologies and beliefs began to break apart. At the core, all of it was based on Fear, not Love. It was the God of Fear, not the God of Love. And that's why I left them.

As hard as this is to learn, as it was for me when I was part of them, we have to learn how to listen to what the heart is telling us, insistently, despite the reasonings they try to get you to believe in what they think is true. Your heart will tell you the truth, even when your head is confused about what to believe.

Perhaps the key to this is coming to recognize that the truth is not external to you. It's internal within you. And where we should be looking is within first, then the answer we are desiring from within will be fulfilled and what we see from there flows from that source within. Why do they assume God cannot be found within their own hearts?

Here's a great cartoon I found which captures this beautifully for me:

love and scripture.jpg
 

Audie

Veteran Member
I'm kind of confused right now in the following sense. I asked God to prove to me that Christianity in a more or less fundamentalist or orthodox sense was real and that I should follow it, I keep getting these things whenever I ask that just seems to point to the answer being "yes". The confusion comes in in that I feel like I would be changing my whole self to fit a belief set, and that doesn't sound like what I personally want for myself. I don't want to look through the world in glasses that tell me I'm going to heaven and people who don't believe are going to hell. And sometimes I feel like I'd rather drink the koolaid that is thinking everyone is equal and destined for heaven, which I have been told by some will lead me to the broad path that leads to hell.

as an atheist-

IF there is a god, it is most inconsistent about answering.

IF there is validity to the bible, it is not the "fundy" version
with literal 6 day creation, adam and eve, flood.

If you do not know why that cannot be it, you can be filled in.

Back to prayers "answered". And "getting things".
IF they were saying yes to fundyism, they are for sure
not god-messages.

I wonder if you have ever had some difficult problem
to work out. Should I go to college A or B. That
kind of thing. Worry and wonder and try to decide,
more or less day and night?

IF so, you know what will happen. Your poor lil brain
will get exasperated, and say "A!!! Go to A and leave
me be!"

It feels like a Revelation, it comes while you are
not thinking about it, with great force of authority and
clarity!

But IF you keep wondering, dissatisfied, after a few
days it will happen again, but with a different answer
"GO TO B!!!"

All that is, is about how the human mind works.

Common sense, or maybe a bit of biology and geology
too will tell you the fundyversion of bible meaning
is bonkers.

Another little detail-deciding what to be believe is
nothing but self deception.
 
Last edited:

dingdao

The eternal Tao cannot be told - Tao Te Ching
Jesus referring to the Scribes:
Mark 12:40
They devour widows' houses and for the sake of appearance say long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation.

Follow your OWN conscience.
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
as an atheist-

IF there is a god, it i most inconsistent about answering.

IF there is validity to the bible, it is not the "fundy" version
with literal 6 day creation, adam and eve, flood.

If you do not know why that cannot be it, you can be filled in.

Back to prayers "answered". And "getting things".
IF they were saying yes to fundyism, they are for sure
not god-messages.

I wonder if you have ever had some difficult problem
to work out. Should I go to college A or B. That
kind of thing. Worry and wonder and try to decide,
more or less day and night?

IF so, you know what will happen. Your poor lil brain
will get exasperated, and say "A!!! Go to A and leave
me be!"

It feels like a Revelation, it comes while you are
not thinking about it, with great force of authority and
clarity!

But IF you keep wondering, dissatisfied, after a few
days it will happen again, but with a different answer
"GO TO B!!!"

All that is, is about how the human mind works.

Common sense, or maybe a bit of biology and geology
too will tell you the fundyversion of bible meaning
is bonkers.

Another little detail-deciding what to be believe is
nothing but self deception.

These and other posts are quite brilliant. I'll try to think about if I can formulate a good enough answer to answer all the questions raised in this thread. If not, well, everyone's posts and questions posed to me are very helpful.
 

Audie

Veteran Member
Jesus referring to the Scribes:
Mark 12:40
They devour widows' houses and for the sake of appearance say long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation.

Follow your OWN conscience.

There goes Absolute Morality! (as if there ever
had been such a thing)
 

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
What do you believe now, and what steps led you to a broader understanding?
I am a very ecumenically minded and quite a theologically-liberal Catholic. However, I feel very much at home in most religious settings that includes most synagogues, mosques, Hindu and Buddhist temples, but minus the fundamentalist groups. My emphasis is more on actions than words, and my main mentor was and is Gandhi, although I don't agree with him on everything.

How about you? .
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
I am a very ecumenically minded and quite a theologically-liberal Catholic. However, I feel very much at home in most religious settings that includes most synagogues, mosques, Hindu and Buddhist temples, but minus the fundamentalist groups. My emphasis is more on actions than words, and my main mentor was and is Gandhi, although I don't agree with him on everything.

How about you? .

I have a backlog of questions as it is but I'll try to answer this one:

Some 10 years ago, I met two Unitarian Universalists that even today, I think about them and their views a lot.
 

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
Some 10 years ago, I met two Unitarian Universalists that even today, I think about them and their views a lot.
I had actually recommended them to a relative that was looking for a place to join whereas she and her husband had differing viewpoints. However, he wasn't that interested, so she went ahead with her drift and joined a Reform synagogue that she has been very pleased with for almost two decades now.
 

George-ananda

Advaita Vedanta, Theosophy, Spiritualism
Premium Member
I'm kind of confused right now in the following sense. I asked God to prove to me that Christianity in a more or less fundamentalist or orthodox sense was real and that I should follow it, I keep getting these things whenever I ask that just seems to point to the answer being "yes". The confusion comes in in that I feel like I would be changing my whole self to fit a belief set, and that doesn't sound like what I personally want for myself. I don't want to look through the world in glasses that tell me I'm going to heaven and people who don't believe are going to hell. And sometimes I feel like I'd rather drink the koolaid that is thinking everyone is equal and destined for heaven, which I have been told by some will lead me to the broad path that leads to hell.
Your thoughts sound pretty typical in modern western society. A lot of the old-fashion fundamental orthodox Christian thinking does not make comfortable sense to normal modern thinking people.

I think the problem is that human theologians and even Bible writers and collators over-complicated things. I think religion should be kept simple: Brotherly love, peace, happiness is all we need and what we believe about these complicated theological things won't amount to a hill of beans in the afterlife; love, peace and joy WILL matter..
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
Your thoughts sound pretty typical in modern western society. A lot of the old-fashion fundamental orthodox Christian thinking does not make comfortable sense to normal modern thinking people.

I think the problem is that human theologians and even Bible writers and collators over-complicated things. I think religion should be kept simple: Brotherly love, peace, happiness is all we need and what we believe about these complicated theological things won't amount to a hill of beans in the afterlife; love, peace and joy WILL matter..

I agree.
 

Milton Platt

Well-Known Member
I'm kind of confused right now in the following sense. I asked God to prove to me that Christianity in a more or less fundamentalist or orthodox sense was real and that I should follow it, I keep getting these things whenever I ask that just seems to point to the answer being "yes". The confusion comes in in that I feel like I would be changing my whole self to fit a belief set, and that doesn't sound like what I personally want for myself. I don't want to look through the world in glasses that tell me I'm going to heaven and people who don't believe are going to hell. And sometimes I feel like I'd rather drink the koolaid that is thinking everyone is equal and destined for heaven, which I have been told by some will lead me to the broad path that leads to hell.

That is kinda why religions (especially Christianity) are evolving into an ever increasing number of sects. Everybody has their own interpretation and everybody cherry picks the parts they like and ignores the rest. I would venture a guess that a first century Christian would recognize none of them.
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
I just wanted to say... I came very close to Christianity.

Everyone starts out an atheist. As for me, I've had three good, honest attempts at being a true Christian.

The first time was I was struggling with some medical issues, and I met someone online that said they wanted to teach me more about the faith. I later learned that they believed most health problems are caused by demons, and they started trying to "deliver" me from said demons. This really messed me up and took me 6 months to recover from all the anxiety that comes from someone trying to indoctrinate you that you are full of demons.

The second was, I tried my hardest effort to be a "true Christian". When I chatted with fellow Christians, I was questioned daily whether I had the "right views" because they wanted to see if I was conservative enough for me to be able to talk to them in a close way (my interpretation). Eventually I kind of started to slip in faith, and I was never forgiven for slipping or shown how I was wrong to make a bit of a scene when I was struggling. They were done with me.

The third was that God has been answering my "prayers". But my heart isn't there anymore to accept Him. You'd think an all-powerful God would have the power to change my heart to meet Him halfway. Nope. I just have to fake believing, then regret doing so later.

And there was one other story as well. I was transferred to a Christian school for a bit. It didn't help my education, in fact I wonder if it hindered it. It tried to teach things like that regard for the environment was foolish and that the Earth was on a multi thousand year cycle where things got worse and then better in the environment. Stuff like that. The focus on the History book was simply showing a whole bunch of statues to try to show you the statues related to various religions, then it basically said "But that religion is wrong because" and pointed to a Bible verse.

I don't want to fully say I will never again believe in a concept of God. But I've lost two years of my life where I've suffered emotionally that I didn't deserve.

Furthermore, I asked a long time Christian what they would think of me believing in God but not subscribing to ideas in the faith which I don't agree with. They confirmed what I was afraid of in what they think of me and people who do this.

So I believed in God. It wasn't enough. God's book wants me to change my whole life for Him. And it's not something I'm willing to do.

I have nothing against Christians. I'm just saying when I start getting in large groups of them, they sometimes judge before they understand me.
 

Hawkins

Well-Known Member
Everyone starts out an atheist. As for me, I've had three good, honest attempts at being a true Christian.

The point is why. You don't have to believe anything if you have an option. Christianity is more about we are running out of option that we have to trust what is said by those first century eye-witnesses. It's more like a call on "there's bomb there nearby". That "it may be a hoax", "its scale may not be good enough", "I wish that no one dies" etc. etc. may not be good choices at all. Making a run while taking the message by faith sometimes remains the only reasonable choice.
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
The point is why. You don't have to believe anything if you have an option. Christianity is more about we are running out of option that we have to trust what is said by those first century eye-witnesses. It's more like a call on "there's bomb there nearby". That "it may be a hoax", "its scale may not be good enough", "I wish that no one dies" etc. etc. may not be good choices at all. Making a run while taking the message by faith sometimes remains the only reasonable choice.

It has been a fairly good while since I made this thread and I have had a bit of time to think. I've probably became more closed-minded toward the subject since I started this thread, upon better weighing my views.
 
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