Hey Bezz. I'm a newbie too
I'll be honest with you: You not identifying with Christians again hasn't still solved or answer your question (Does God Exist). Even the best of atheism today still seek answers and proof to that question daily.
The questions on your heart are normal. It only showed you likely don't have those who are willing to listen to you around you, or who can answer what bothers you.
It's possible you have likely had much of wrong teaching of God around you. And that raised lot of questions that such teachers couldn't answer.
Well, if you seek answers truly. Then you should read this intelligently.
1. Your decision above doesn't solve the problem at hand nor does it answer the question you seek. Hence it is only be a distraction for you, as your heart knows you haven't gotten answers.
2. There are usually hidden concerns that underline the great question you asked. Ive observed that most who call themselves atheist have narrated unknowingly in their multitude of words such hidden concerns that drove them to atheism and mostly are from personal challenges or concerns that surround how the place you fellowship have presented God's word and promises to you or your normal desires that were never fulfilled even after you have done all that you were told was required.
3. In life, when confused, you should rather err on the side of one you know, one you have seen, and count faithful to you (your real world, your family, your people) than one who you haven't seen, nor know, nor add any value to you in life (the online world).
You can't measure the life of any here by just reading their text including me. Here you will see, liars, deceiver, good and bad etc. Yet all come in the name of helping or intelligent. But there is always a means to that end.
Err on the side of caution and patiently determine your next step.
4. And most importantly, no one can or will decide for you as am sure you can make decision by yourself. But ask yourself, what truly is driving your decisions.
Are they based on failed expectations from God?
Are they based on pressure from life and seems God wasn't there for you?
Are they based on assumptions from poor doctrine about God?
Or are they based on true desire to know the truth about God existence or non existence.
Whatever the reasons. I can confidently tell you, that the foundation is from a wrong knowledge of who God is or what he can do.
Give yourself time Bro. And ask your questions, you will find answers from the right persons.