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Cheating.

Given that infidelity is common is it more acceptable for

  • a man to cheat on his wife

    Votes: 6 85.7%
  • a woman to cheat on her husband

    Votes: 1 14.3%

  • Total voters
    7
Why is it more acceptable for males to cheat on their wives than vice versa?

In modern society I'd say they are equivalent.

Why did such a view evolve historically?

A woman can't be tricked into raising a baby that she thinks is hers, but a man can. there seems good reason, evolutionarily, for men to want to prevent this from happening given the investment in resources required.

Also, in most historical societies, identity flows through the male line. Identity was far more important in pre-modern societies as it was the foundation for tribal memberships, status, reputation, alliances, etc. As such, female chastity/fidelity is important to underwrite such a cultural perspective.
 

Epic Beard Man

Bearded Philosopher
As someone in a Poly relationship CONSENT is GOD. That's why its called an Open Marriage, the emphasis being on the word OPEN rather then secretive, which is rooted in fear & shame

Yeah sorry can’t do open relationships or polyamorous relationships. I believe you can make a polygamous or polyamorous relationship work but emotions are not equally distributed and that lies the problem for me.
 

beenherebeforeagain

Rogue Animist
Premium Member
I have no option to select, as my point of view is both are equally wrong, neither is more acceptable than the other, as the proposal is stated. That historically it was more socially acceptable for men to cheat than women does not mean that it was ever right.

I'll also note that this does not provide an option for same-sex couples, as two men are both husbands and two women are both wives...
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
I agree but that if it is unconsensual it is not acceptable but my argument is that it is more acceptable for men to cheat than women

Yeah, at a societal level, that's probably true. At least as far as some people I know, I've encountered mixed views on the subject. Some people are pretty strictly religious on it, while others seem to think it's no big deal either way. They treat cheating like it's some kind of accident which just happens.

Personally, it's not something that I take any real interest in on an individual level. I would consider it to be a matter to be resolved by the couple and/or third party involved in any instances of cheating. It's really none of my business. The media and/or religious authorities might put their own particular spin on the subject.

In some ways, considering how many TV shows, movies, books, etc. focus on the subject of cheating, then it almost seems like large segments of the viewing public must actually like cheating on some level. I don't think it means they actually approve of it, but society seems to have a somewhat strange and divided view on the subject.
 

Astrophile

Active Member
My questions ;-

Why is it assumed in the bible that women will cheat and men won't?

Why is it more acceptable for males to cheat on their wives than vice versa?

I suppose that the obvious answer is that an unfaithful wife can deceive her husband into unknowingly bringing up another man's child, whereas an unfaithful husband doesn't deceive his wife into unknowingly bringing up another woman's child.
 

Terrywoodenpic

Oldest Heretic
I suppose that the obvious answer is that an unfaithful wife can deceive her husband into unknowingly bringing up another man's child, whereas an unfaithful husband doesn't deceive his wife into unknowingly bringing up another woman's child.

no he deceives some other husband. into doing the same.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
I suppose that the obvious answer is that an unfaithful wife can deceive her husband into unknowingly bringing up another man's child, whereas an unfaithful husband doesn't deceive his wife into unknowingly bringing up another woman's child.

He deceives his wife.
That's OK when he deceives the other woman's husband into bringing up another mans child?
 

Twilight Hue

Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
This thread was inspired by the thread.
Punishment for adultery

Which got me wondering. Not about open, consensual affairs but infidelity in which one spouse is in the dark.

The majority of biblical texts on infidelity assume the woman as protagonist, very little is said about males cheating.

Statistically men cheat more than women :-

View attachment 26782

It might sound ordinary for a woman to find out her husband’s cheating on her, but not if you’re the woman [cheating] and it’s your husband.
—Melissa Bank​

If a man cheats on his wife his acquaintances most often consider it a misdemeanor. "He's a womaniser", "bit of a rogue really but that's one lucky guy" etc.

If a woman cheats on her husband she is a "home wrecker", "a real sl*t" and a "w*ore"

My view, consent is key, if you don't have consent from your partner to engage in an extramarital affair and one engages in that affair without your partner's knowledge, that's cheating.

My questions ;-

Why is it assumed in the bible that women will cheat and men won't?

Why is it more acceptable for males to cheat on their wives than vice versa?
I think the whole issue is skewed.

I wonder how much of it has to deal with possessiveness where loyalty can be seen as a type of ownership where your mine alone and nobody else's?

On the other hand, that could also be seen as a great virtue of being solely reserved for the one you love. Yours alone.

I think it's all a matter of perspective on how it would be taken. I feel if it's going to hurt the person you care about, it's best not to cheat.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
I think the whole issue is skewed.

I wonder how much of it has to deal with possessiveness where loyalty can be seen as a type of ownership where your mine alone and nobody else's?

On the other hand, that could also be seen as a great virtue of being solely reserved for the one you love. Yours alone.

I think it's all a matter of perspective on how it would be taken. I feel if it's going to hurt the person you care about, it's best not to cheat.

Yes. I think ownership is the key, male ownership of female, not joint ownership or female ownership of male.
 

Mestemia

Advocatus Diaboli
Premium Member
Why is it assumed in the bible that women will cheat and men won't?

Why is it more acceptable for males to cheat on their wives than vice versa?
Because back then women were property of men.
You cannot "cheat" on your property.
 

Rational Agnostic

Well-Known Member
This thread was inspired by the thread.
Punishment for adultery

Which got me wondering. Not about open, consensual affairs but infidelity in which one spouse is in the dark.

The majority of biblical texts on infidelity assume the woman as protagonist, very little is said about males cheating.

Statistically men cheat more than women :-

View attachment 26782

It might sound ordinary for a woman to find out her husband’s cheating on her, but not if you’re the woman [cheating] and it’s your husband.
—Melissa Bank​

If a man cheats on his wife his acquaintances most often consider it a misdemeanor. "He's a womaniser", "bit of a rogue really but that's one lucky guy" etc.

If a woman cheats on her husband she is a "home wrecker", "a real sl*t" and a "w*ore"

My view, consent is key, if you don't have consent from your partner to engage in an extramarital affair and one engages in that affair without your partner's knowledge, that's cheating.

My questions ;-

Why is it assumed in the bible that women will cheat and men won't?

Why is it more acceptable for males to cheat on their wives than vice versa?

Some men apparently like to be cheated on. One of the fastest growing porn genres is "cuckold."
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Some men apparently like to be cheated on. One of the fastest growing porn genres is "cuckold."

Cuckoldry and cheating are different things, the key is consent.

Consider the phrase "Cheating is a violation of trust, cuckolding is an exploration of trust"
 

England my lionheart

Rockerjahili Rebel
Premium Member
This thread was inspired by the thread.
Punishment for adultery

Which got me wondering. Not about open, consensual affairs but infidelity in which one spouse is in the dark.

The majority of biblical texts on infidelity assume the woman as protagonist, very little is said about males cheating.

Statistically men cheat more than women :-

View attachment 26782

It might sound ordinary for a woman to find out her husband’s cheating on her, but not if you’re the woman [cheating] and it’s your husband.
—Melissa Bank​

If a man cheats on his wife his acquaintances most often consider it a misdemeanor. "He's a womaniser", "bit of a rogue really but that's one lucky guy" etc.

If a woman cheats on her husband she is a "home wrecker", "a real sl*t" and a "w*ore"

My view, consent is key, if you don't have consent from your partner to engage in an extramarital affair and one engages in that affair without your partner's knowledge, that's cheating.

My questions ;-

Why is it assumed in the bible that women will cheat and men won't?

Why is it more acceptable for males to cheat on their wives than vice versa?

I voted option one purely because that's how it is,never understood why it was that way though,from a religious perspective it's seems it's always been okay and less sinful than a woman having the same amount of fun.
 
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