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Call to Satan

Kapalika

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Lately I've felt a clawing at myself, like something is calling back to me. Perhaps this is easier, because it can be framed in the context of the culture I live in. Perhaps I've just reached a tipping point and am retreating into the familiar. I just know that, I feel like I'm delaying the inevitable. Almost like I wore a mask, a facade for my own protection and I started to believe that mask. It is a lot easier to hide behind a near equivalent that is seen as acceptable due to general ignorance, than it is to stand in the clear and open as what you really are that is feared. And then, another part thought that these older texts (LHP Tantric) might provide a more mature and better understood description of the same idea, the same path (LHP). I find this is essentially true, but it's buried in a context and history that is less accessible to someone like me who hasn't lived in that culture.

I've contemplated what kind of ritual or magical act might help me figure out how to go about it, but time and time again I come short on what would actually be the best way to do this, and so I never follow through. I feel like, over time, since I haven't used those muscles so to speak, that they shrank and I'm at a loss for how to proceed. Almost as if I must start over again from scratch. And it doesn't help that I've become more skeptical over time.

I've always maintained that I'm a Satanist, but I feel like I've really under-utilized that side of me for a long time, perhaps in part because I needed to mature some before coming back to it, and perhaps I'm now ready to go further than I have in the past.

I'm rusty AF. And I just more readily feel it in the context of Satanism and magic, I've practiced meditating and self-hypnosis and been trying to get to altered states through that to prepare myself, but it's harder this time around.

Anyways, anyone got any practical advice?
 

Kapalika

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Yeah, stop trying to ''combine'' the satanisms /different adherences going by 'satanism'. Choose a entity or idea, and get specific.if you adhere to eastern religious paradigm, then just go with that

if you start over, drop the ''all these other ideas are satanism'' argument/position

my advice, :)

I don't think I've ever claimed that other religions are Satanism, rather that they are all means to a similar end as they are all Left Hand Path. I don't feel like I've combined anything, only pointed out the parallels and used both. I make sure to not mix them as much as possible out of respect.

Drop the labels, things run much more smoothly.

I think it's more that my foundation changed, not that I'm stuck on labels (since I use them very liberally and according to what seems best at the moment to frame the best perception based on who I'm speaking to).

My divination work as a Satanist used to be my foundation, now it's Shaivism. Maybe the answer is changing that foundation, but that does present a few messy issues to my paradigm I would have to sort out. And I don't know if that is even the right answer.
 

Kapalika

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Then why did you ask for advice?

What I said earlier in the first post:

I've contemplated what kind of ritual or magical act might help me figure out how to go about it, but time and time again I come short on what would actually be the best way to do this, and so I never follow through. I feel like, over time, since I haven't used those muscles so to speak, that they shrank and I'm at a loss for how to proceed. Almost as if I must start over again from scratch. And it doesn't help that I've become more skeptical over time.

....

I've practiced meditating and self-hypnosis and been trying to get to altered states through that to prepare myself, but it's harder this time around.

TL;DR I've lost my edge when taking time to mature and think about stuff. And I'm finding it's harder now that I actually have. I wonder how if I threw out the baby with the bathwater.
 

Kirran

Premium Member
I think it's more that my foundation changed, not that I'm stuck on labels (since I use them very liberally and according to what seems best at the moment to frame the best perception based on who I'm speaking to).

My divination work as a Satanist used to be my foundation, now it's Shaivism. Maybe the answer is changing that foundation, but that does present a few messy issues to my paradigm I would have to sort out. And I don't know if that is even the right answer.

I've always found labels are very subversive - they get in to you without you realising it so much. That's the nature of the mind, to identify with things. But ultimately that may not matter, depending on what you're after.

Is your primary priority here gaining magical abilities, and doing divination? If so, I suspect a lot of it is about confidence and comfortableness.
 

Kapalika

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Is your primary priority here gaining magical abilities, and doing divination? If so, I suspect a lot of it is about confidence and comfortableness.

Ah! You found me out! Okay, well, magical abilities yes, as a means for more tools for my development. I think your spot on. I just don't know what to do about it. Another part is, a lot of what I would want to do you (supposedly) need a teacher and I don't see that happening anytime soon. So that doesn't help.

I didn't think of it until now, somehow, but perhaps I just need to do something religious or magical that should help me be more confident in general. Perhaps I could dig up some of my old work as inspiration as to where to go from here by seeing the spark of passion I lost.

Edit: Thinking about it, I think you are right in another way, because I feel more comfortable with Satan as the means rather than say Shiva.. due to my familiarity like I was saying in the first post because of the cultural stuff... I guess I've neglected that aspect due to feeling like it was "healthier" to not focus on Satan as much. Eh IDK
 
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Kirran

Premium Member
Ah! You found me out! Okay, well, magical abilities yes, as a means for more tools for my development. I think your spot on. I just don't know what to do about it. Another part is, a lot of what I would want to do you (supposedly) need a teacher and I don't see that happening anytime soon. So that doesn't help.

I didn't think of it until now, somehow, but perhaps I just need to do something religious or magical that should help me be more confident in general. Perhaps I could dig up some of my old work as inspiration as to where to go from here by seeing the spark of passion I lost.

Edit: Thinking about it, I think you are right in another way, because I feel more comfortable with Satan as the means rather than say Shiva.. due to my familiarity like I was saying in the first post because of the cultural stuff... I guess I've neglected that aspect due to feeling like it was "healthier" to not focus on Satan as much. Eh IDK

I did? :O

Well to be honest I have my suspicions about the value of Satan and of that imagery, I think in many cases it can bring some weird vibes (all that self-centred Adversary stuff) but if it you can skip that and have it work for you then it's cool. Of course I've never tried to develop magical abilities or anything like that, for me it's always just been about knowing God.

Yeah, if there's stuff you know you can do, your old stuff, then do that, get back in the groove a bit. But also remember, things change. Our development in any field isn't always just smooth improvement, it goes up and down and that's as it should be.
 

Mindmaster

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
I'm rusty AF. And I just more readily feel it in the context of Satanism and magic, I've practiced meditating and self-hypnosis and been trying to get to altered states through that to prepare myself, but it's harder this time around.

Anyways, anyone got any practical advice?

All of the labels are meaningless if you lack the ability to discern why they are actually important, sort of to echo the sentiments of the other folks on the thread.

Don't bother with doing Satanism, or whatever else - do Mandi. I found that Satanism for me was just a name I fancied, but what I actually did was a mix between a dozen things. Druidry is probably that way for me too, but whatever. In the end, this is all a sort of worthless type of identity politics applied to another subject manner. Dabble in whatever draws you in and if you don't fit on one of the teams don't even give a single concern.
 

lovesong

:D
Premium Member
Hey, if you need any push or help getting back into magic, don't hesitate to ask me. I've worked very closesly with certain demons and most (not all, but most) of my magical practice would be considered LHP, so really, if you need anything at all in the magic department just ask. You know where to find me.
 

Onyx

Active Member
Premium Member
Anyways, anyone got any practical advice?

Two things come to mind, I hope they are helpful.

The first is that successful artists often work with a very limited palette of colors. Musicians tend to do the same in terms of the scales or patterns they prefer. There isn't enough time in this life to explore everything, make some choices and be done with it.

Secondly, we stand on the shoulders of giants. It's okay to adopt an existing philosophy and extend it as required. If someone else has done the hard work already, and their results are agreeable, then there is no sense in reinventing the wheel.
 
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For me it's easy. Satan's Providence is the fire, and to do his work is to put yourself to that fire. The hard challenges to all the things you hold dear or sacrosanct, or just take for granted.

It's a tool you can pick up or put down, it doesn't need to be what you are, merely what you do. A tool to sharpen and refine.

If you think you are getting soft you probably are
 
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