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"Bikini or Headscarf": An interesting article via CNN and O Magazine

A

*Anne*

Bliss Ninny
"Bikini or Headscarf ~ Which Offers More Freedom?"

Nine years ago, I danced my newborn daughter around my North Carolina living room to the music of "Free to Be...You and Me", the '70s children's classic whose every lyric about tolerance and gender equality I had memorized as a girl growing up in California.

My Libyan-born husband, Ismail, sat with her for hours on our screened porch, swaying back and forth on a creaky metal rocker and singing old Arabic folk songs, and took her to a Muslim sheikh who chanted a prayer for long life into her tiny, velvety ear.

She had espresso eyes and lush black lashes like her father's, and her milky-brown skin darkened quickly in the summer sun. We named her Aliya, which means "exalted" in Arabic, and agreed we would raise her to choose what she identified with most from our dramatically different backgrounds.

...

I imagined Aliya embracing shopping trips to Whole Foods and the stack of presents under the Christmas tree, while still fully appreciating the melodic sound of Arabic, the honey-soaked baklava Ismail makes from scratch, the intricate henna tattoos her aunt drew on her feet when we visited Libya. Not once did I imagine her falling for the head covering worn by Muslim girls as an expression of modesty.
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Rest of the story here.

(Be sure to check out the lovely picture of mother and daughter. :) )

This one tugged at my heartstrings quite a bit. I can identify with the mother, and I find the daughter both adorable (her little round face reminds me of my 11 year old) and incredibly interesting.
 
MissAlice

MissAlice

Well-Known Member
This is very moving, love knows no bounds or at least in this case it doesn't and the little girl got to choose her own identity.

In a way I identify with the little girl even though it had nothing to do with religion or culture. I use to tie my hair back in a long head scarf like a gypsy wearing long skirts and necklaces. I never really could get into the fads and trends of clothes no matter how much I was both ridiculed and encouraged. It has always been jeans, short skirts, and shorts- which I do wear a lot. Most clothing I find in stores causes discomfort and not interesting enough to be "casual".

Great article Anne. :yes:
 
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A

*Anne*

Bliss Ninny
Thanks, Alice.

I was always a little rebellious, even against my own rebellious culture. :D Like you, I've rejected certain fads. I've embraced only what appeals and makes sense to me, not what appeals to my peers.

I ran across this article unexpectedly while prowling CNN for health stuff. I thought it was a lucky find, as it contained a few issues we've already discussed here on RF:

1) The freedom enjoyed by those who wear the headscarf.

2) This little girl is allowed to choose the headscarf because she lives in a country that encourages freedom of religion and expression.

3) She is part of an interfaith marriage where her parents have decided to raise her with influences from both Mom and Dad, and she is free to choose her own path.
 
F

fatima_bintu_islam

Active Member
That was so much beautiful Anne, I thank you very much for giving us the opportunity of reading that, it touched me really deep even though I wear a headscarf myself.

I found this part quite funny btw, it made me smile:

I'd spent countless hours studying my reflection in the mirror -- admiring it, hating it, wondering what others thought of it -- and it sometimes seemed to me that if I had applied the same relentless scrutiny to another subject I could have become enlightened, written a novel, or at least figured out how to grow an organic vegetable garden.
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I just loved the article, thank you very much ( will frubal you for this :) )
 
Peace

Peace

Quran & Sunnah
Thank you so much Anne for sharing the interesting nice story with us!
A nice picture of the mother and daughter! The girl looks really cute in her Hijab :)
 
Caladan

Caladan

Agnostic Pantheist
Pretty depressing stuff, seeing a young girl covering herself because of passive social pressure.
O save me Larry Flynt.
 
MysticSang'ha

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
Fantastic article! Loved it....three cheers for beautiful Aliya! :clap2:

And to her credit, Aliya had some fabulous mothering to allow her to be what makes her most confident. :yes:

I have an 11-year-old, too. I love how she has absolutely no self-image problems and how she is more interested in her arts and crafts, her writing stories, and making dolls than the Jonas Brothers or Miley Cyrus like her peers.

Again, truly a fantastic article. Thanks for sharing.
 
A

*Anne*

Bliss Ninny
Caladan said:
Pretty depressing stuff, seeing a young girl covering herself because of passive social pressure.
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I didn't get that from the article. If anything, Aliya would be under pressure to NOT wear the Hijab seeing as how she goes to school with a lot of non-Muslim girls.

Having an 11 year old girl myself, I suspect little Aliya simply finds the Hijab beautiful. And because it seems her father is a gentle, kind man, she most likely has a wonderful impression of Islam and its traditions.

(My 11 year old insists on wearing a kitted poncho as a skirt over her shorts.) :D
 
A

*Anne*

Bliss Ninny
Peace said:
Thank you so much Anne for sharing the interesting nice story with us!
A nice picture of the mother and daughter! The girl looks really cute in her Hijab :)
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You are very welcome, Peace. I think she looks cute too!

I really loved this:

"As I pulled away from the curb, I imagined that headscarf having magical powers to protect her boundless imagination, her keen perception, and her unself-conscious goodness. I imagined it shielding her as she journeys through that house of mirrors where so many young women get trapped in adolescence, buffering her from the dissatisfaction that clings in spite of the growing number of choices at our fingertips, providing safe cover as she takes flight into a future I can only imagine."
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Caladan

Caladan

Agnostic Pantheist
Peace said:
Have you really read the article :confused: :sarcastic
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*Anne* said:
I didn't get that from the article. If anything, Aliya would be under pressure to NOT wear the Hijab seeing as how she goes to school with a lot of non-Muslim girls.

Having an 11 year old girl myself, I suspect little Aliya simply finds the Hijab beautiful. And because it seems her father is a gentle, kind man, she most likely has a wonderful impression of Islam and its traditions.

(My 11 year old insists on wearing a kitted poncho as a skirt over her shorts.) :D
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I do not deny the human story behind the article. but what I take to heart is the fact that a little girl takes the social idea of covering parts of her body and implements it, whether to satifsy her father, or even if by child like naive excitment, as a man, it would break my heart seeing my daughter thinking she should cover herself.
I have no doubt it will scarr her, in one way or the other.
I'm sure I don't need to explain that I'm a liberal, and freedom loving, however the shield of liberalism and freedom is limits, logic, moderation, criticism, and yes it does mean knowing what you completely reject.
 
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Phasmid

Phasmid

Mr Invisible
I can sort of understand. It kind of takes out the pressure of wondering what people think of you... but hiding yourself away for THAT reason seems to be a sign of low self esteem.

In the case of this little girl it seems more a case of cultural curiosity. After all, a woman can be modest without wearing a... ... what-cha-majig.
 
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