Spiderman
Veteran Member
Welcome everyone, good to see you, I'm matt. I was a sociopath , sadist creep, and now I'm not.
This thread is not for most audiences but I can't hide medicine that helped me.
This is our therapist, Bianca Michelle Devins, she's delighted to see you too.
She'll be filling in as the Duce while Queen Dionisia shares her glory with someone special, so that attention gets distributed to the different therapists , Capitol hill Queens.
( Bianca died the same day of the year as Dionisia Marie, (recently in 2019). Her slit throat was shared all over social media by her killer who filmed it to watch it repeatedly.
Her dream was of being a therapist. She is mine.
Her middle name Michelle means "she who is like God" her last name Devins means the same thing, Divine, Divinus. )
Her last name also means fawn though. Fawn is a name for bosom.
From the Bible, song of Solomon
Your two breast are like two fawns (4:5) ...your breasts like clusters of fruit (7:7)
I'll get to that later.
I don't get to look at porn, and want it banned worldwide. But not all nudity is pornographic or we wouldn't have it painted on walls in Churches, or statues of a nude king David in places of worship.
It wouldn't have been in the garden of Eden, and there is a sermon from it that we simply can't be neglecting. God invented the body to contemplate and look at and it speaks about him.
The Pope wrote a book called "Theology of the body" all about sex.
Thing is, you people who think you should never look at nudity that arouses you for fear of committing adultery in your hearts are actually making yourselves more sexually perverse and depraved through repression, frustration, and in my case it was leading to depraved, sadistic, satanic desires towards women who dressed like "sluts" after my conversion.
They were showing off and not sharing. It became bad enough that miniskirts, lingerie, bikinis, thongs, cleavage, tight clothing, and whatever, made me want to get violent.
I never relieved myself sexually for a year and a half because God was a jerk that burned people in hell if they didn't make it to a confession booth in time after scratching their itch.
So, by not scratching the itch, it actually grew stronger , so that I was becoming more perverted, more angry, more sinful, more condemning like the migrants who turned Sweden into the rape Capitol because the victims were (unveiled whores).
I was becoming more self-righteous , because I hadn't committed a mortal sin for over a year , and did harsh penance in a monastery.
I won't mention what my dreams were like, or the fact that while praying , I was more distracted with thoughts of sex, than if I just yanked one out.
Long story short, I made it a year with the Carmelites, 6 months with the Franciscans, and realized that I wasn't called to that.
But because God wasn't faithful to his word , and broke his rules, refused to help, I gave up and flipped out, winding up in a but house with a kid that had no eyes.
He couldn't handle how women dressed , had a battle with pornography, and Jesus told him to pluck out his eyes, so he did precisely that.
Origen, a very influential Christian author had the same problem , and castrated himself.
That isn't 1% of my explanation as to why, but I gave up prayer entirely , became a total jerk, and very dangerous, getting kicked out of Austin Minnesota with a restraining order.
I was disowned by my family. To this day still not welcome back, and dropped off homeless in a city where I knew no one, and state where I had not a single family member ( there or any of the bordering states for that matter).
I tried to pray and it always turned into me shouting at God.
Well, God insisted I be healed through some very unconventional ways, but out of 7 billion people in this world, I'm sure I'm not the only one who can go from being a violent creepy sociopath to being deeply compassionate and full of empathy.
I'm sharing what worked for me.
To be continued....
Questions?
This thread is not for most audiences but I can't hide medicine that helped me.
This is our therapist, Bianca Michelle Devins, she's delighted to see you too.
( Bianca died the same day of the year as Dionisia Marie, (recently in 2019). Her slit throat was shared all over social media by her killer who filmed it to watch it repeatedly.
Her dream was of being a therapist. She is mine.
Her middle name Michelle means "she who is like God" her last name Devins means the same thing, Divine, Divinus. )
Her last name also means fawn though. Fawn is a name for bosom.
From the Bible, song of Solomon
Your two breast are like two fawns (4:5) ...your breasts like clusters of fruit (7:7)
I'll get to that later.
I don't get to look at porn, and want it banned worldwide. But not all nudity is pornographic or we wouldn't have it painted on walls in Churches, or statues of a nude king David in places of worship.
It wouldn't have been in the garden of Eden, and there is a sermon from it that we simply can't be neglecting. God invented the body to contemplate and look at and it speaks about him.
The Pope wrote a book called "Theology of the body" all about sex.
Thing is, you people who think you should never look at nudity that arouses you for fear of committing adultery in your hearts are actually making yourselves more sexually perverse and depraved through repression, frustration, and in my case it was leading to depraved, sadistic, satanic desires towards women who dressed like "sluts" after my conversion.
They were showing off and not sharing. It became bad enough that miniskirts, lingerie, bikinis, thongs, cleavage, tight clothing, and whatever, made me want to get violent.
I never relieved myself sexually for a year and a half because God was a jerk that burned people in hell if they didn't make it to a confession booth in time after scratching their itch.
So, by not scratching the itch, it actually grew stronger , so that I was becoming more perverted, more angry, more sinful, more condemning like the migrants who turned Sweden into the rape Capitol because the victims were (unveiled whores).
I was becoming more self-righteous , because I hadn't committed a mortal sin for over a year , and did harsh penance in a monastery.
I won't mention what my dreams were like, or the fact that while praying , I was more distracted with thoughts of sex, than if I just yanked one out.
Long story short, I made it a year with the Carmelites, 6 months with the Franciscans, and realized that I wasn't called to that.
But because God wasn't faithful to his word , and broke his rules, refused to help, I gave up and flipped out, winding up in a but house with a kid that had no eyes.
He couldn't handle how women dressed , had a battle with pornography, and Jesus told him to pluck out his eyes, so he did precisely that.
Origen, a very influential Christian author had the same problem , and castrated himself.
That isn't 1% of my explanation as to why, but I gave up prayer entirely , became a total jerk, and very dangerous, getting kicked out of Austin Minnesota with a restraining order.
I was disowned by my family. To this day still not welcome back, and dropped off homeless in a city where I knew no one, and state where I had not a single family member ( there or any of the bordering states for that matter).
I tried to pray and it always turned into me shouting at God.
Well, God insisted I be healed through some very unconventional ways, but out of 7 billion people in this world, I'm sure I'm not the only one who can go from being a violent creepy sociopath to being deeply compassionate and full of empathy.
I'm sharing what worked for me.
To be continued....
Questions?
