Being an Adult

[Tmac]

Maybe you should define what you believe to be "childish behavior".

I have a 17 year old daughter, she graduated high school a year and a half early, has gotten her CNA license and she's been working since she was 15. She has bought her own car and pays her own insurance, not something a child would do. She doesn't play house or Barbies with her friends, something a child would, or at least, used to do. I don't consider her a child because of all she's accomplished, but I don't consider her an adult, because there are still lessons for her to learn to be ready for adulthood.

So, I don't believe a person goes from childhood to adulthood, there's an in between.

The idea is to define adult behavior? Is there an in between with ignorance and enlightenment?

 

[ChristineM]

So all you have to do is be responsible for your actions and you are an adult. Too broad.

Why?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Thanks for your answer but I was hoping to hear from an adult. Why were you attracted by the title of the post?

Legally, I've been an adult for awhile now. My interest in the thread: Other than certain legal issues (sexually preying upon children and financially taking care of dependents being two obvious ones), we put too much stock into this idea of "being an adult." It's nothing more than an arbitrary concept that we decided on, and IMO we shouldn't legally consider someone an adult until they are 21, when their brains are fully matured or almost nearly there. Used to be what we call teenagers were considered adults. And today, some children are far better off and more responsible than some adults.
Really, "being an adult" is what you make of it. Just because I'm 31, why should I "put away" some seemingly childish things like neo-goth dress, pretending and make believe, and cartoons? I work (home-based case manager), graduated with honors and distinctions, and help my parents. So what if I play Magic: The Gathering, have a live action role playing costume--complete with elf ears--that is about to be financially worth more than my last car, have a few facial piercings, and can appreciate "immature" humor?
Your idea of being an adult sounds like a life of boredom.

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

I don't really care about the label "adult". As you have already hinted, the lines are blurred in many cases, being an "adult" is just a metaphor, having no ultimate reality associated with it - though you also seem to be hinting that one exists.

Do you believe yourself to have "[put] away childish behavior?" In my, personal, opinion (which I admit is all it is), I have seen enough sophomoric posts from you to believe that you have not - even though it seems clear you believe you have. Keep in mind also that I already don't claim the label "adult" for myself - again, don't care about it. I play with Legos, still mess around with design and programming of video-games in my spare time, every so often can be seen wearing a "Street Fighter" T-Shirt. In other words, I don't care what you think is "childish"... and it is quite possible that only you do.

 

[djhwoodwerks]

The idea is to define adult behavior? Is there an in between with ignorance and enlightenment?

My daughter has adult qualities and behaviors, and is very responsible and mature for her age, should I, or anyone else consider her an adult? She can't enter a contract, she can't buy cigarettes or alcohol, she can't get in an R rated movie without someone at least 18, she can't get a tattoo without my (an adult) permission. So, although she has adult qualities, and behaviors she is not considered an adult by society, and I don't view her as neither an adult nor a child, she is some where "in between, with ignorance and enlightenment"!

 

[PureX]

My comments quite obviously soared over your head, for you have misrepresented them.

Where's that asteroid emoji? ...

 

[Tmac]

My daughter has adult qualities and behaviors, and is very responsible and mature for her age, should I, or anyone else consider her an adult? She can't enter a contract, she can't buy cigarettes or alcohol, she can't get in an R rated movie without someone at least 18, she can't get a tattoo without my (an adult) permission. So, although she has adult qualities, and behaviors she is not considered an adult by society, and I don't view her as neither an adult nor a child, she is some where "in between, with ignorance and enlightenment"!

Sounds to me like you'll always see her this way.

 

[Tmac]

I don't really care about the label "adult". As you have already hinted, the lines are blurred in many cases, being an "adult" is just a metaphor, having no ultimate reality associated with it - though you also seem to be hinting that one exists.

Do you believe yourself to have "[put] away childish behavior?" In my, personal, opinion (which I admit is all it is), I have seen enough sophomoric posts from you to believe that you have not - even though it seems clear you believe you have. Keep in mind also that I already don't claim the label "adult" for myself - again, don't care about it. I play with Legos, still mess around with design and programming of video-games in my spare time, every so often can be seen wearing a "Street Fighter" T-Shirt. In other words, I don't care what you think is "childish"... and it is quite possible that only you do.

Ah, so you have judged me, what about the message? Do you think the definition of adult needs to be updated?

 

[David T]

When we are younger, it is often heard , when you grow up, when you become an adult as a reason that prohibited someone from "X". Unfortunately, it has become a belief that one becomes an adult by just by living "X" years. So essentially we don't change, we just get older and we are awared adulthood becoming nothing more than old children thinknig we are adults as witnessed on this forum.
Now I don't believe that this guy, the auther of "Once I was a child I did... blah blah but then I became an adult and put away childish things" was the only one to think about being an adult as different form being an old child but I can't find them at the moment but I too believe that age is not the determining factor that distinguishes the child from the adult. I already know what the clowns are going to say but if there are any adult, even adult wannabes, I would like to know if the definition of adult needs to be updated?

Maybe becoming an adult is realizing what you understood as a child was more correct than you realized.
Or Maybe another way of framing it is I reached my full potential of realizing how stupid I am. Socrates alludes to this.
I like to tell kids under thirty "never trust anyone over 30 they are nuts and not to be listened to, trust me I am 60." that makes them smile!!!

 

[Jumi]

By adult do you mean one physically mature, emotionally stable and capable of avoiding needless conflict, taking responsibility for their social units and supporting it, having wide practical knowledge and skills and mentally capable of understanding group dynamics, tradition and culture?

If so, then part of it comes with time, others must be nurtured through introspection and with help of tradition or other environmental factors.

 

[QuestioningMind]

When we are younger, it is often heard , when you grow up, when you become an adult as a reason that prohibited someone from "X". Unfortunately, it has become a belief that one becomes an adult by just by living "X" years. So essentially we don't change, we just get older and we are awared adulthood becoming nothing more than old children thinknig we are adults as witnessed on this forum.
Now I don't believe that this guy, the auther of "Once I was a child I did... blah blah but then I became an adult and put away childish things" was the only one to think about being an adult as different form being an old child but I can't find them at the moment but I too believe that age is not the determining factor that distinguishes the child from the adult. I already know what the clowns are going to say but if there are any adult, even adult wannabes, I would like to know if the definition of adult needs to be updated?

I think you need to define what you mean by 'childish things'. I agree that being an adult means attaining a certain level of emotional maturity that has nothing to do with age. But at the same time I believe that to be a successful adult, one needs to hold onto a childish wonder of the world around them.

As for a societal definition of who and who is not an 'adult', it pretty much has to be based on someone's age, since I don't think we have a reliable method of measuring a person's emotional maturity.

 

[Skwim]

Do you think the definition of adult needs to be updated?

Take your pick. If these don't suffice then it's obvious you're looking for "adult" to suit to some personal need, which is a bit curious.

"ADULT"

noun: adult; plural noun: adults

1. a person who is fully grown or developed.

GoogleDictionaery
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Definition of adult
1 :fully developed and mature :grown-up

Merriam -Webster
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noun
4.a person who is fully grown or developed or of age.
5.a full-grown animal or plant.
6.a person who has attained the age of maturity as specified by law.

Dictionary.com
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adult
Pronunciation /əˈdʌlt//ˈadʌlt/
noun

1A person who is fully grown or developed.

1.2Law A person who has reached the age of majority.

Oxford dictionary
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a·dult (ə-dŭlt′, ăd′ŭlt)
n.
1. One who has attained maturity or legal age.
2. Biology A fully grown, mature organism.

Freedictionary
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Adult

A person who by virtue of attaining a certain age, generally eighteen, is regarded in the eyes of the law as being able to manage his or her own affairs.


Freedictionary-LAW
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​

 

[Rational Agnostic]

When we are younger, it is often heard , when you grow up, when you become an adult as a reason that prohibited someone from "X". Unfortunately, it has become a belief that one becomes an adult by just by living "X" years. So essentially we don't change, we just get older and we are awared adulthood becoming nothing more than old children thinknig we are adults as witnessed on this forum.
Now I don't believe that this guy, the auther of "Once I was a child I did... blah blah but then I became an adult and put away childish things" was the only one to think about being an adult as different form being an old child but I can't find them at the moment but I too believe that age is not the determining factor that distinguishes the child from the adult. I already know what the clowns are going to say but if there are any adult, even adult wannabes, I would like to know if the definition of adult needs to be updated?

Some people never grow up. I know people in their 60s and 70s who are considerably less mature than most 18-20 year olds.

 

[Father Heathen]

When we are younger, it is often heard , when you grow up, when you become an adult as a reason that prohibited someone from "X". Unfortunately, it has become a belief that one becomes an adult by just by living "X" years. So essentially we don't change, we just get older and we are awared adulthood becoming nothing more than old children thinknig we are adults as witnessed on this forum.
Now I don't believe that this guy, the auther of "Once I was a child I did... blah blah but then I became an adult and put away childish things" was the only one to think about being an adult as different form being an old child but I can't find them at the moment but I too believe that age is not the determining factor that distinguishes the child from the adult. I already know what the clowns are going to say but if there are any adult, even adult wannabes, I would like to know if the definition of adult needs to be updated?

You're being too hard on yourself.

 

[suncowiam]

I'm an adult but I don't like acting like an adult. It's boring.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

With honors medallions in one hand and latex larp long sword in the other, I quote the good Doctor:
There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.

 

[idea]

When we are younger, it is often heard , when you grow up, when you become an adult as a reason that prohibited someone from "X". Unfortunately, it has become a belief that one becomes an adult by just by living "X" years. So essentially we don't change, we just get older and we are awared adulthood becoming nothing more than old children thinknig we are adults as witnessed on this forum.
Now I don't believe that this guy, the auther of "Once I was a child I did... blah blah but then I became an adult and put away childish things" was the only one to think about being an adult as different form being an old child but I can't find them at the moment but I too believe that age is not the determining factor that distinguishes the child from the adult. I already know what the clowns are going to say but if there are any adult, even adult wannabes, I would like to know if the definition of adult needs to be updated?

One interesting thing, adults learn differently than children -
one definition of an adult, is someone who immediately applies what they learn, and learns what they need to apply
children memorize the ideas of others, without the connection that the point of learning is to actually apply it - the concepts do not translate into reality for children. Children prefer cartoons, non-real lessons, and it takes a long time before they can connect what is in a book, to what is in real life.
Also, adults are better able to sift through knowledge, understand the uncertainties with everything. Children rely on experts to learn, while adults trust themselves - adults create their own orders instead of following others orders.

had a class on how to teach adults recently, it was very interesting.

 

[Tmac]

One interesting thing, adults learn differently than children -
one definition of an adult, is someone who immediately applies what they learn, and learns what they need to apply
children memorize the ideas of others, without the connection that the point of learning is to actually apply it - the concepts do not translate into reality for children. Children prefer cartoons, non-real lessons, and it takes a long time before they can connect what is in a book, to what is in real life.
Also, adults are better able to sift through knowledge, understand the uncertainties with everything. Children rely on experts to learn, while adults trust themselves - adults create their own orders instead of following others orders.

had a class on how to teach adults recently, it was very interesting.

I concur but again in my thinking something is still missing as I could be an adult (considering these thoughts) in a tribe deep in the jungle unaware of our civilization and it is our culture that in order to be accepted into the order of the tribe the individual must go out and bring home a prize, the ultimate being the head of a member of an adjacent tribe. This is not seen as a negative(nor is it accept as seen from our eyes) and yet they could not live and prosper in our "so called" civilization.

So what changes the child from being a child into the adult?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

one definition of an adult, is someone who immediately applies what they learn, and learns what they need to apply

Children also do that. Indeed, there are some very talented engineers, mathematicians, musicians, and programmers who are children.

children memorize the ideas of others,

As do adults.

adults are better able to sift through knowledge, understand the uncertainties with everything

Some adults may be better of sifting through information, but do they really understand uncertainty better? So many adults lie to themselves, and others, because instead of understanding uncertainty they are so uncomfortable with it and create all sorts of fantasies and stories so they don't have to deal with it.

Children rely on experts to learn

As do adults. Myself, I didn't learn psychology from those who aren't themselves experts in the field. One of my teachers even practiced when lobotomies were commonly administered, one who has spent his career doing research and teaching, and another who is currently a licensees clinical psychologist. Or even cooking - why would I learn from someone who has only cooked for McDonalds when instead I can learn from chefs who themselves learned from experts?
I think you sorely underestimate children (they can be very deviously clever and observant and more open to the world) and woefully overestimate adults (who can be too sure of themselves, too rigid, and often enough times dumber than what most would expect of a child).

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

Ah, so you have judged me, what about the message? Do you think the definition of adult needs to be updated?

Yep... I judged you. Should I apologize? Do you need that from me?

And no, I don't think the definition of "adult" needs to be updated. I think the understanding of what a "human" is should be more ubiquitous, and probably supplant the ideas of "child" and "adult." Maybe then more people would treat "children" as "people" and fewer "people" would feel embarrassed/guilty about behaving in "child-like" manners.