Being an Adult

[Tmac]

I think you are confusing the definitions of the terms 'adult' and 'mature.'

Fruit and cement can be mature. And I'm not confusing the two.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Fruit and cement can be mature. And I'm not confusing the two.

Most in the animalia kingdom can become adults. I'm not sure what point your trying to make here.

 

[BSM1]

Okay then, what is your definition of being adult when you think of yourself as being an adult?

Hmm...good question. In my life I would have to say it was carrying on even when I didn't want to. With others it may be different. Of course this has nothing to do with reaching the age of legal adulthood and it required only a small amount of maturity; so we may be back to square one.

 

[djhwoodwerks]

Is an adult that behaves childishly considered an adult?

Maybe you should define what you believe to be "childish behavior".

I have a 17 year old daughter, she graduated high school a year and a half early, has gotten her CNA license and she's been working since she was 15. She has bought her own car and pays her own insurance, not something a child would do. She doesn't play house or Barbies with her friends, something a child would, or at least, used to do. I don't consider her a child because of all she's accomplished, but I don't consider her an adult, because there are still lessons for her to learn to be ready for adulthood.

So, I don't believe a person goes from childhood to adulthood, there's an in between.

 

[sayak83]

When we are younger, it is often heard , when you grow up, when you become an adult as a reason that prohibited someone from "X". Unfortunately, it has become a belief that one becomes an adult by just by living "X" years. So essentially we don't change, we just get older and we are awared adulthood becoming nothing more than old children thinknig we are adults as witnessed on this forum.
Now I don't believe that this guy, the auther of "Once I was a child I did... blah blah but then I became an adult and put away childish things" was the only one to think about being an adult as different form being an old child but I can't find them at the moment but I too believe that age is not the determining factor that distinguishes the child from the adult. I already know what the clowns are going to say but if there are any adult, even adult wannabes, I would like to know if the definition of adult needs to be updated?

Probably it needs to exclude the OP writer. Whining is not an adult trait after all.

 

[sayak83]

My definition of an Adult. When you stop relying on your parents to live your life. It isn't an age at all its a state of being children are taken care up by adults. An adult takes care of themselves.

Very Western definition. Look at tribal societies. Everybody takes care of each other. It's about ability to contribute, not about independence from others.

 

[WalterTrull]

I don’t know that “adult” is much more than a label pasted on the human time line. I think it only means attaining full size and/or no longer needing to be protected by parents or parental surrogates. Disabilities create exceptions of course. It’s interesting that most (not all) adults eventually become disabled to some degree, where help and protection is again needed. Is that still “adult” or is there another label? Interesting social dynamic.

 

[suncowiam]

Is an adult that behaves childishly considered an adult?

This is just another definition thread. The question you are basically asking is how one defines an adult.

Otherwise, all the following debate is pointless.

If we define an adult as age 18 or above, then it's quite clear what an adult is.

 

[PureX]

When we are younger, it is often heard , when you grow up, when you become an adult as a reason that prohibited someone from "X". Unfortunately, it has become a belief that one becomes an adult by just by living "X" years. So essentially we don't change, we just get older and we are awared adulthood becoming nothing more than old children thinknig we are adults as witnessed on this forum.
Now I don't believe that this guy, the auther of "Once I was a child I did... blah blah but then I became an adult and put away childish things" was the only one to think about being an adult as different form being an old child but I can't find them at the moment but I too believe that age is not the determining factor that distinguishes the child from the adult. I already know what the clowns are going to say but if there are any adult, even adult wannabes, I would like to know if the definition of adult needs to be updated?

I think the quintessential characteristic of adulthood is an ever-expanding sense of one's 'collective'. As newborns, there is only the fear and need of the 'self'. We live in a universe of one. And then, two, as we eventually realize our mothers provide us with the solutions to that fear and need. Eventually our universe will expand to include our fathers, and our siblings (grudgingly). And then further along, a neighborhood playmate or two, and then eventually a few school mates.

Our personal universe is always expanding. And when it expands past our identity as members of a nuclear family, we are called "young adults". Puberty awakens us to new kinds of possible relationships with other humans, outside the immediate family and playmates. And this expansion continues as we become mates, and eventually mated, with another particular human. We no longer think only of ourselves, as independent beings, but now as being part of a couple. And when children come along, we become their essential dependents, too. And our 'world of self' expands further. Also, at work, we find ourselves becoming important participants of collective human endeavor, with everyone's livelihood mutually at stake. And our 'world of self' expands further, to include this kind of mutually beneficial collective partnership.

And so it goes throughout our lives. We learn to expand our idea of self, and our idea of our own well-being to include more and more other human beings, and their well-being. Or, at least, this is what happens if we continue growing into our adulthood. Sadly, for many, this growth gets stifled, or even retarded, and they never become the fully adult beings that they were intended to become. And that's when we end up with these "adult children". Of which, unfortunately, there are many.

 

[ChristineM]

When we are younger, it is often heard , when you grow up, when you become an adult as a reason that prohibited someone from "X". Unfortunately, it has become a belief that one becomes an adult by just by living "X" years. So essentially we don't change, we just get older and we are awared adulthood becoming nothing more than old children thinknig we are adults as witnessed on this forum.
Now I don't believe that this guy, the auther of "Once I was a child I did... blah blah but then I became an adult and put away childish things" was the only one to think about being an adult as different form being an old child but I can't find them at the moment but I too believe that age is not the determining factor that distinguishes the child from the adult. I already know what the clowns are going to say but if there are any adult, even adult wannabes, I would like to know if the definition of adult needs to be updated?

Being adult simply means taking responsibility. That magic age when people are fit to be responsible for their own actions is defined in law and varies by a couple of years from place to place.

However, the law is a general purpose catchall, in reality some people will take responsibility quite early in their lives, some late, some not at all.

 

[Tmac]

For me people are all unique, if they want to be childish that is fine as long as they are responsible for themselves. Where this breaks down is if your committed or in a home where adult professionals take care of you. You are an adult but do to illness you can't take care of yourself, in this case for me where you ever an adult before coming ill, if yes you don't lose adulthood.

When Richard Ramirez (The Night Stalker) was convicted and sentenced to death when asked by a reporter his thoughts, he responded, It comes with the territory. He certainly fits your criteria.

 

[bobhikes]

Very Western definition. Look at tribal societies. Everybody takes care of each other. It's about ability to contribute, not about independence from others.

I am not understanding how taking care of others makes you an adult. I teach that to my children all humans no matter age, status or sex should contribute to society and help those in need.

 

[Tmac]

I think the quintessential characteristic of adulthood is an ever-expanding sense of one's 'collective'. As newborns, there is only the fear and need of the 'self'. We live in a universe of one. And then, two, as we eventually realize our mothers provide us with the solutions to that fear and need. Eventually our universe will expand to include our fathers, and our siblings (grudgingly). And then further along, a neighborhood playmate or two, and then eventually a few school mates.

Our personal universe is always expanding. And when it expands past our identity as members of an nuclear family, we are called "young adults". Puberty awakens us to new kinds of possible relationships with other humans, outside the immediately family and playmates. And this expansion continues as we become mates, and eventually mated, with another particular human. We no longer think only of ourselves, as independent beings, but now as being part of a couple. And when children come along, we become their essential dependents, too. And our 'world of self' expands further. Also, at work, we find ourselves becoming important participants of collective human endeavor, with everyone's livelihood mutually at stake. And our 'world of self' expands further, to include this kind of mutually beneficial collective partnership.

And so it goes throughout our lives. We learn to expand our idea of self, and our idea of our own well-being to include more and more other human beings, and their well-being. Or, at least, this is what happens if we continue growing into our adulthood. Sadly, for many, this growth gets stifled, or even retarded, and they never become the fully adult beings that they were intended to become. And that's when we end up with these "adult children". Of which, unfortunately, there are many.

Not according to Sunstone.

 

[sayak83]

I am not understanding how taking care of others makes you an adult. I teach that to my children all humans no matter age, status or sex should contribute to society and help those in need.

Children can't really contribute in that sense. They try and learn of course (hopefully). That's why one needs adult supervision when children go camping for example.

 

[Tmac]

Being adult simply means taking responsibility. That magic age when people are fit to be responsible for their own actions is defined in law and varies by a couple of years from place to place.

However, the law is a general purpose catchall, in reality some people will take responsibility quite early in their lives, some late, some not at all.

So all you have to do is be responsible for your actions and you are an adult. Too broad.

 

[bobhikes]

Children can't really contribute in that sense. They try and learn of course (hopefully). That's why one needs adult supervision when children go camping for example.

I think you underestimate what children are capable of.

 

[Tmac]

Children can't really contribute in that sense. They try and learn of course (hopefully). That's why one needs adult supervision when children go camping for example.

Especially, when they go camping.

 

[sayak83]

I think you underestimate what children are capable of.

Some are adults certainly, in this sense, earlier than others.

 

[Sunstone]

Not according to Sunstone.

My comments quite obviously soared over your head, for you have misrepresented them.

 

[Tmac]

Hmm...good question. In my life I would have to say it was carrying on even when I didn't want to. With others it may be different. Of course this has nothing to do with reaching the age of legal adulthood and it required only a small amount of maturity; so we may be back to square one.

I would consider that a quality of being an adult, it alludes to something of value.