Beginning to grow Disillusioned

[Philomath]

Hello I was wondering if I could get some advice from the forum. I will give a summary of my spiritual path so far.

I come from a family that is mostly Christian. I also have a few relatives who are Muslim, but overall basically everyone in my family is a member of one of the Abrahamic religions. I was basically a Christian for most of my life. Last year when I was 17 I decided to research Christianity, which eventually lead to me leaving it. There was a brief period when I was a Deist. I formally became an Atheist when I turned 18 and started college last fall. I went through what I call an "angry Atheist" phase for a while where I basically was angry at Christianity because I felt I had been lied to for most of my life.

I got interested in Buddhism and tried it out for a while but it just didn't fit me. I liked the ideas and concepts but something felt missing. I remained an Atheist until about march this year. I once again believed in God because I think something created the Universe/Multiverse. I looked into Omnisim for a while and liked it, but it didn't really have any core beliefs. I then got interested in Hinduism after a wandering monk came to campus one day and handed out free copies of Hindu related books such as the Bhagavad Gita.

I began studying Hinduism and slowly adopted some of it's beliefs. After turning 19 this summer I adopted Hinduism, though I was and still am hesitant in calling myself a "Hindu". But over, I'd say the past month I've felt a growing feeling of disillusionment. I haven't felt a connection to any of the deities particularly the one I liked the most, Shiva. There are rituals and certain things which don't make sense to me.

I've felt a pulling towards Islam and I like some of it's ideas but there are also a multitude of things I don't agree with. I couldn't see myself ever being a Christian again. I'm really moving away from the idea of a personal God. I wish I felt the initial connection I had with Hinduism, but I don't anymore. So now I'm basically confused. These are the three things which at this current point I am looking for.

• An Impersonal God
• No emphasis on rituals, superstitions, or prayer
• free thinking

 

[LuisDantas]

Have you considered Deism, Pantheism and Panentheism?

 

[Philomath]

Have you considered Deism, Pantheism and Panentheism?

A little, not in depth though.

 

[nazz]

do you need an "ism" attached to your beliefs?

 

[Philomath]

do you need an "ism" attached to your beliefs?

I don't.

 

[Jainarayan]

Keep in mind that neither Hinduism nor Buddhism are monolithic. Buddhism has probably more sects, sub-sects and schools than just about any other tradition (I hesitate to use 'religion').

• An Impersonal God
• No emphasis on rituals, superstitions, or prayer
• free thinking

Taoism, though the Tao is not technically God. Like Tom Bombadil, it just is. Taoism can be either religious (actually based in Chinese traditional religion) or purely philosophical with no rituals. Check out The Tao Bums (yes, member there too).

 

[Philomath]

Keep in mind that neither Hinduism nor Buddhism are monolithic. Buddhism has probably more sects, sub-sects and schools than just about any other tradition (I hesitate to use 'religion').

• An Impersonal God
• No emphasis on rituals, superstitions, or prayer
• free thinking

Taoism, though the Tao is not technically God. Like Tom Bombadil, it just is. Taoism can be either religious (actually based in Chinese traditional religion) or purely philosophical with no rituals. Check out The Tao Bums (yes, member there too).

I'll look into Taoism. I know Hinduism basically espouses every belief so there probably is a sect which shares the some of those beliefs.

 

[Breathe]

Advaita
Taoism
Liberal Quakers

 

[Vinayaka]

19? That explains a lot. a month, and you're disillusioned? Hey, you're 19. Patience.

Sorry, but that's about all the advice I have. When I was 19, I was exploring Hinduism a bit ... maybe, can't really remember. Good luck with sorting some of it out by the time this lifetime of yours is over.

 

[methylatedghosts]

How about pick-and-mix-ism

Or make-it-up-as-you-go-along-ism

 

[Me Myself]

Forgive me if the question is silly, but what exactly are you looking for?

I mean, are you searching for a label? Is that it?

Peace can be acquired b different means. Personally, I love some ritual here and there. It enhances my life and my experience of gratitude. I like the feeling of worship.

This is why I do it.

By the tents you put at the end, I wonder what precisely you want with "spirituality" (the "" are important)

For me spirituality is about feeling balanced or whole. If this is what you arelooking for, in which ways should your views on the divine have to do with this? I ask because you believe in an impersonal god and have no interest in the rituals.

What exactly is it that is bugging you?

I think it might be the lack of label. If that were the case, I'd say just accept it and look whatever helps you regain balance, which can be anything from meditation to running to cooking to sending more time with friends or family or goofying around at RF

 

[Luke Morningstar]

• An Impersonal God
• No emphasis on rituals, superstitions, or prayer
• free thinking

If you are looking for an answer, you will not find one outside. Everything about us is an illusion. Our words, our ideas. They may lead us somewhere, but they are not answers.

No religion is an answer. They all lead us somewhere. It is entirely in your power to choose where you are being led. Being Christian or Hindu or Muslim can be great for the community and wealth of theological discussion and thought. But they can also be traps, when you decide to use teachings as an excuse to be selfish or hateful.

But a religion won't make you be those things, they are already in you. Peer pressure from other people who have embraced selfishness will encourage it in you, but ultimately, the choice is always yours.

To find your path, you need to start trusting yourself. Start practicing compassion and awareness. You can do that with prayer, meditation, but it also takes testing yourself against the world and practicing testing your values and see what brings you the most peace, and brings the most peace to everyone you encounter.

I don't know the path for you, but I can almost guarantee that it involves boundless compassion and objective self-assessment.

When I was your age, I was 20 years from figuring anything out, and I only was just beginning then. Your brain won't even finish growing until 25. Your best bet is to probably keep it simple. Focus on mindful practices, keep experimenting, keep going back to religions that you turned away from and look at them with fresh eyes.

I hated the ritual, except for shamanic drumming and visions. They just seemed like a waste of time. Now I appreciate them. I use it for work and writing. It's a lot easier to get into the right space with a little ritual. And I felt a lot of power doing ritual with dozens of other people. But that's just preference, just like religion is.

You are just starting to figure out who you are. Let that happen before you start trying to learn how to trust you. Don't even attempt to find or form your own religion to settle into and attach to until you're into your 30s. Practice patience and moderation (let that brain finish forming before trying to alter it too much!)

Until then, hold onto compassion and reason as your guide posts. Experiment and embrace ideas and test them for compassion and reason. Eventually, you will find the path that sings to you, and it won't be limited to a single book or person. It will be the truth that was inside you all along.

 

[Treks]

Sikhi meets all three of your dot points.

Amendment: apologies, there is an emphasis on "prayer" insofar as there are certain scriptural passages for daily recitation which forms more of a meditation practice than a prayer. Prayer in the sense of asking for anything has a small place in Sikhi. Personally i very rarely pray like that as i have a firm belief in an impersonal, non-intervening Source. Sikhs are somewhat divided on this issue.

 

[Aquitaine]

Hello I was wondering if I could get some advice from the forum. I will give a summary of my spiritual path so far.

I come from a family that is mostly Christian. I also have a few relatives who are Muslim, but overall basically everyone in my family is a member of one of the Abrahamic religions. I was basically a Christian for most of my life. Last year when I was 17 I decided to research Christianity, which eventually lead to me leaving it. There was a brief period when I was a Deist. I formally became an Atheist when I turned 18 and started college last fall. I went through what I call an "angry Atheist" phase for a while where I basically was angry at Christianity because I felt I had been lied to for most of my life.

I got interested in Buddhism and tried it out for a while but it just didn't fit me. I liked the ideas and concepts but something felt missing. I remained an Atheist until about march this year. I once again believed in God because I think something created the Universe/Multiverse. I looked into Omnisim for a while and liked it, but it didn't really have any core beliefs. I then got interested in Hinduism after a wandering monk came to campus one day and handed out free copies of Hindu related books such as the Bhagavad Gita.

I began studying Hinduism and slowly adopted some of it's beliefs. After turning 19 this summer I adopted Hinduism, though I was and still am hesitant in calling myself a "Hindu". But over, I'd say the past month I've felt a growing feeling of disillusionment. I haven't felt a connection to any of the deities particularly the one I liked the most, Shiva. There are rituals and certain things which don't make sense to me.

I've felt a pulling towards Islam and I like some of it's ideas but there are also a multitude of things I don't agree with. I couldn't see myself ever being a Christian again. I'm really moving away from the idea of a personal God. I wish I felt the initial connection I had with Hinduism, but I don't anymore. So now I'm basically confused. These are the three things which at this current point I am looking for.

• An Impersonal God
• No emphasis on rituals, superstitions, or prayer
• free thinking

Just be yourself.

 

[Luke Morningstar]

Just be yourself.

How do you do that?

Is the self I want to be the one that's really me, or is it my parent's expectations, or the expectations of my culture or religion? What if I thought being myself meant going to medical school, only to discover after my degree that I hate being a doctor, and want to be a stand up comedian instead?

What if myself wants to hurt people, should I embrace that? What if I believe, and all of my friends agree, that those people deserve it? What if I'm told that I'll enter into Heaven if I do it, and that feels like the truth and the real me?

How do you know that I can trust myself?

Just being yourself isn't easy. I don't get why that's treated like helpful advice. It's a common phrase that holds no useful information.

 

[Aquitaine]

How do you do that?

Is the self I want to be the one that's really me, or is it my parent's expectations, or the expectations of my culture or religion? What if I thought being myself meant going to medical school, only to discover after my degree that I hate being a doctor, and want to be a stand up comedian instead?

What if myself wants to hurt people, should I embrace that? What if I believe, and all of my friends agree, that those people deserve it? What if I'm told that I'll enter into Heaven if I do it, and that feels like the truth and the real me?

How do you know that I can trust myself?

Just being yourself isn't easy. I don't get why that's treated like helpful advice. It's a common phrase that holds no useful information.

The way I see it, it's a journey not a destination. We won't ever really know ourselves until the day we die - and even then it may still be a mystery. I suppose we just have to "add to it as we go along", as your said we are influenced by our society and the expectations of others.

We create each other as we go along. Be in it for the ride?

 

[Philomath]

Forgive me if the question is silly, but what exactly are you looking for?

I mean, are you searching for a label? Is that it?

I guess I am. Basically something that

Peace can be acquired b different means. Personally, I love some ritual here and there. It enhances my life and my experience of gratitude. I like the feeling of worship.

This is why I do it.

By the tents you put at the end, I wonder what precisely you want with "spirituality" (the "" are important)

For me spirituality is about feeling balanced or whole. If this is what you arelooking for, in which ways should your views on the divine have to do with this? I ask because you believe in an impersonal god and have no interest in the rituals.

What exactly is it that is bugging you?

I think it might be the lack of label. If that were the case, I'd say just accept it and look whatever helps you regain balance, which can be anything from meditation to running to cooking to sending more time with friends or family or goofying around at RF

The type of spirituality your referring to is what I want.What's bugging me is the idea of rituals they just don't make sense to me, nor can I see why God would care about them. I'm not sure what I'm looking for. A label or something to align myself with would be nice. But it's not the most important thing.

 

[Philomath]

How about pick-and-mix-ism

Or make-it-up-as-you-go-along-ism

I could do that but I would like to be a part of something.

 

[Philomath]

Sikhi meets all three of your dot points.

Amendment: apologies, there is an emphasis on "prayer" insofar as there are certain scriptural passages for daily recitation which forms more of a meditation practice than a prayer. Prayer in the sense of asking for anything has a small place in Sikhi. Personally i very rarely pray like that as i have a firm belief in an impersonal, non-intervening Source. Sikhs are somewhat divided on this issue.

I'll have a look into Sikhism then

I'm all for meditation. Why do you pray to God if you believe he is impersonal?

 

[Pegg]

There may not be a belief system which fits your pre-requisites exactly.... you might find one that is similar in some respects but not others. If you are looking for a 'belief system' to fit with your pre-requisites, maybe you should just create your own. Thats how we got to so many religions in the first place...whats one more?