katiafish
consciousness incarnate
Here is a short story I have wrote in Russian a while back, and now rewrote in English..
All feedback will be appreciated.. :rainbow1:
Another Day
It was still dark, the twilight only starting to waver above the silent ground, the forest was still. John looked up from the ground and filled his lungs with the cool, clear air. He moved slowly as if paying special attention to every little muscle in his body, tilting his head to the side as he was bringing himself up into a standing position. Satisfied with the result, John stretched and allowed himself a big yawn, taking a visible pleasure in hearing himself and feeling his body stretch. Slowly he started walking down the long path, dark field on one side, forest on the other side, darker still.
The world around him was starting to wake up. Birds first, a solitary voice and then more, and louder, with unconditional happiness greeting the advancing dawn. The air grew clearer still, obtaining an almost crystal quality to it, like liquid quartz enveloping and suffusing, sparkling in the tiny drops of dew. The sun was rising somewhere behind the forest , licking the sky blushing pink and bringing colour into the darkness of the foliage and the wheat of the field. John could feel the happiness rising in his chest with the sun, and he thought that if he really wanted to, he could probably fly up into the sky just with the strength of this incredible feeling that was spreading through him, becoming him.
The insects had woken up, the green lightning of a dragonfly zoomed right in front of Jon's face, startling him.The morning was in the full bloom now, the air had grown warm and John could feel the sun on the back of his neck as he walked on. He soon started to sweat and stopped to take his jacket and, after some consideration, his shirt off. Carefully wrapping the sleeves around his waist he noticed a tiny frog that jumped out on to the path right in front of him. He froze, watching it watching him with its eyes the colour of the molten gold until it decided that he was nothing more than a strange piece of wood and hopped off to do whatever it was that frogs do on a beautiful summer morning.
The sun was now above the forest, almost blinding in its brightness, heat just verging on becoming uncomfortable but John walked on, smiling to himself, not a thought in his head, completely absorbed with all the Lilliputian life going on around him: somber beetles borrowing into the yellow dust of the path, swallows diving down on to the unsuspecting meaty caterpillars, gracefully solid bumblebee flying by with the determination of the air missile.. The world was beautiful and he was beautiful with it.
He sat down to take his shoes and socks off, digging his bare toes into the soft warm dust on the road. He felt almost like a child now and.......
-C'mon mate, time's up - the craggy hand was shaking John, as he desperately tried to not wake up, to stay in the warmth of the sun but inevitably slipping further into the awakening and the grim reality of a grubby room and a shiny face of a fat man who was mercilessly shaking and shaking and shaking him.
-C'mon, you dont geup now an I'd charge ya more - the man's breath smelt of stale beer and fresh tobacco smoke as he bent down to see if John opened his eyes. John pushed the man away weakly and sat up, hitting his head on the hanging mishmash of the wires and some other unidentifiable metal objects hanging above the trolley bed with gray sheets.
-Thas allwait, ya allwait mate, juss little headspin an ya allwait- the fat man was quickly moving his hands around John's half naked body, tearing the suction pads with the wires on them from John's skin, fussing, sweating, constantly repeating his allwait, as if it had some meaning. Next thing John knew he was walking down the narrow corridor with the identical grimy doors, already dressed in his shirt and suit but still holding his shoes in his hands. The corridor led them to the equally grimy lounge with well used assorted sofas around a coffee table on three legs with some magazines on top full of girls with old eyes.
-Juss wait a sec ere mate- fat man pushed John towards the sofa so hard that John almost fell over and had to take couple of small sideways leaps to balance himself up. Fat man meanwhile went behind the front desk, getting the big archaic calculator out and counting something busily, frowning, silently moving his lips and writing the results on a small scrap of paper.
-Ere mate, four hundred and eighteen quid please. - Fat man was standing above John with his hand outstretched.
-But the advert said- John already was fishing for his wallet, knowing the futility of his weak protest.
-Thass for ordinary dreams mate, you know murder and sex, thass half pwice, yo one I had to order from Japan, we dont nomally stock stuff of this quali'y. Q-u-a-l-i'y- repeated fat man, visibly enjoying the word, giving the credit card back to John who was already standing by the door ready to leave, patted him on a shoulder and ever so slightly pushed him further towards the exit. John opened the glass door and stepped onto the pavement, immediately blending in with the surrounding grayness of the sky and buildings around him in his gray suit. Fat man watched John to dissapear into the croud and shook his head.
-Them city guys- he muttered to himself, John's face already completely erased from his memory as thousands before him.
:rainbow1:
All feedback will be appreciated.. :rainbow1:
Another Day
It was still dark, the twilight only starting to waver above the silent ground, the forest was still. John looked up from the ground and filled his lungs with the cool, clear air. He moved slowly as if paying special attention to every little muscle in his body, tilting his head to the side as he was bringing himself up into a standing position. Satisfied with the result, John stretched and allowed himself a big yawn, taking a visible pleasure in hearing himself and feeling his body stretch. Slowly he started walking down the long path, dark field on one side, forest on the other side, darker still.
The world around him was starting to wake up. Birds first, a solitary voice and then more, and louder, with unconditional happiness greeting the advancing dawn. The air grew clearer still, obtaining an almost crystal quality to it, like liquid quartz enveloping and suffusing, sparkling in the tiny drops of dew. The sun was rising somewhere behind the forest , licking the sky blushing pink and bringing colour into the darkness of the foliage and the wheat of the field. John could feel the happiness rising in his chest with the sun, and he thought that if he really wanted to, he could probably fly up into the sky just with the strength of this incredible feeling that was spreading through him, becoming him.
The insects had woken up, the green lightning of a dragonfly zoomed right in front of Jon's face, startling him.The morning was in the full bloom now, the air had grown warm and John could feel the sun on the back of his neck as he walked on. He soon started to sweat and stopped to take his jacket and, after some consideration, his shirt off. Carefully wrapping the sleeves around his waist he noticed a tiny frog that jumped out on to the path right in front of him. He froze, watching it watching him with its eyes the colour of the molten gold until it decided that he was nothing more than a strange piece of wood and hopped off to do whatever it was that frogs do on a beautiful summer morning.
The sun was now above the forest, almost blinding in its brightness, heat just verging on becoming uncomfortable but John walked on, smiling to himself, not a thought in his head, completely absorbed with all the Lilliputian life going on around him: somber beetles borrowing into the yellow dust of the path, swallows diving down on to the unsuspecting meaty caterpillars, gracefully solid bumblebee flying by with the determination of the air missile.. The world was beautiful and he was beautiful with it.
He sat down to take his shoes and socks off, digging his bare toes into the soft warm dust on the road. He felt almost like a child now and.......
-C'mon mate, time's up - the craggy hand was shaking John, as he desperately tried to not wake up, to stay in the warmth of the sun but inevitably slipping further into the awakening and the grim reality of a grubby room and a shiny face of a fat man who was mercilessly shaking and shaking and shaking him.
-C'mon, you dont geup now an I'd charge ya more - the man's breath smelt of stale beer and fresh tobacco smoke as he bent down to see if John opened his eyes. John pushed the man away weakly and sat up, hitting his head on the hanging mishmash of the wires and some other unidentifiable metal objects hanging above the trolley bed with gray sheets.
-Thas allwait, ya allwait mate, juss little headspin an ya allwait- the fat man was quickly moving his hands around John's half naked body, tearing the suction pads with the wires on them from John's skin, fussing, sweating, constantly repeating his allwait, as if it had some meaning. Next thing John knew he was walking down the narrow corridor with the identical grimy doors, already dressed in his shirt and suit but still holding his shoes in his hands. The corridor led them to the equally grimy lounge with well used assorted sofas around a coffee table on three legs with some magazines on top full of girls with old eyes.
-Juss wait a sec ere mate- fat man pushed John towards the sofa so hard that John almost fell over and had to take couple of small sideways leaps to balance himself up. Fat man meanwhile went behind the front desk, getting the big archaic calculator out and counting something busily, frowning, silently moving his lips and writing the results on a small scrap of paper.
-Ere mate, four hundred and eighteen quid please. - Fat man was standing above John with his hand outstretched.
-But the advert said- John already was fishing for his wallet, knowing the futility of his weak protest.
-Thass for ordinary dreams mate, you know murder and sex, thass half pwice, yo one I had to order from Japan, we dont nomally stock stuff of this quali'y. Q-u-a-l-i'y- repeated fat man, visibly enjoying the word, giving the credit card back to John who was already standing by the door ready to leave, patted him on a shoulder and ever so slightly pushed him further towards the exit. John opened the glass door and stepped onto the pavement, immediately blending in with the surrounding grayness of the sky and buildings around him in his gray suit. Fat man watched John to dissapear into the croud and shook his head.
-Them city guys- he muttered to himself, John's face already completely erased from his memory as thousands before him.
:rainbow1:
