Sgt. Pepper
All you need is love.
Trigger warning: before you read any further, I want you to know that I talk about a time when my adopted mother beat me.
I'm seeking advice for a difficult situation that just happened to me. I've shared the story of my abusive childhood before in other threads. I feel like sharing my story could bring comfort to other survivors of abuse. In my story, I shared that I later learned in life that my extended family knew of the abuse I suffered at home at the hands of my adopted mother and adopted brother. They were also aware of the bullying I endured at school. I suffered the abuse for 13 1/2 years, and the bullying occurred throughout my 12 years in school. I was adopted when I was 4 1/2, and the abuse didn't stop until I confronted my abusive brother shortly after I turned 18. The physical conflict between my brother and I and my threat to call the police on him made a lasting impression on our mother.
The upsetting truth is that no one in my family ever tried to rescue me from the abuse I suffered or from the bullying I endured. In essence, they willingly turned a blind eye and left me alone in a living hell that has traumatized me and emotionally scarred me. My aunt (my adopted mother's younger sister) told me about a year and a half ago that she and the rest of our family knew of the abuse.
She told me that the reason why no one called the police or CPS on my mother was because they were afraid I would end up in a worse situation in foster care. She also told me that the reason why she didn't call the police on my mother was because my mother is her sister. As she was explaining all of this to me, I felt like the world was crumbling down around me. I felt very dizzy and sick to my stomach. I have a memory of my grandmother standing at the front door, watching my mother (her daughter) beat the crap out of me in her driveway. My mother had grabbed me by one arm and was violently hitting me with her other arm. My grandmother stood at the door and watched my mother hit me. She just shook her head, and then she moved away from the door and stopped watching.
I cut my adopted parents and my adopted brother completely out of my life over a year and a half ago, but I kept in communication with my extended family for a few months after that. I didn't immediately cut my extended family out of my life after my aunt told me that everyone in our family knew about the abuse but had decided not to intervene and stop it. I talked with my aunt over the phone and through Facebook Messenger, and each time I talked to her, the angrier I became towards her and the rest of my family. She was always trying to justify herself and our family's decision not to stop my mother from abusing me. She told me that she would leave our house crying because of the way my mother was treating me. She even tried to persuade me that God has always loved me and that God could heal me of the pain and trauma that haunts me to this day. I'll admit that that made me even more pi**ed off at her.
In my effort to cut my family out of my life, I removed my relatives from my friendship list on Facebook, and I deleted their phone numbers from my cellphone. I haven't spoken to any of my relatives on the phone or communicated with them on Facebook in several weeks. I hadn't heard from my aunt until today. She sent me a message on Facebook with her same old rhetoric. She tried to assure me that she loves me, misses me, and thinks about me all the time. As I read her message, I couldn't help but think that this is the woman who knew that her sister was abusing me and that she refused to report her sister's abuse of me to the police or CPS.
The purpose of my thread is to ask for advice on whether I should reply to her or not. If I decide to reply, then should I confront her for turning a blind eye and leaving me in an abusive home while I was growing up? For the record, I'm not looking for advice or other remarks that involve the Christian God. Been there, done that. I'm not interested in being preached at, lectured at, or proselytized.
I'm seeking advice for a difficult situation that just happened to me. I've shared the story of my abusive childhood before in other threads. I feel like sharing my story could bring comfort to other survivors of abuse. In my story, I shared that I later learned in life that my extended family knew of the abuse I suffered at home at the hands of my adopted mother and adopted brother. They were also aware of the bullying I endured at school. I suffered the abuse for 13 1/2 years, and the bullying occurred throughout my 12 years in school. I was adopted when I was 4 1/2, and the abuse didn't stop until I confronted my abusive brother shortly after I turned 18. The physical conflict between my brother and I and my threat to call the police on him made a lasting impression on our mother.
The upsetting truth is that no one in my family ever tried to rescue me from the abuse I suffered or from the bullying I endured. In essence, they willingly turned a blind eye and left me alone in a living hell that has traumatized me and emotionally scarred me. My aunt (my adopted mother's younger sister) told me about a year and a half ago that she and the rest of our family knew of the abuse.
She told me that the reason why no one called the police or CPS on my mother was because they were afraid I would end up in a worse situation in foster care. She also told me that the reason why she didn't call the police on my mother was because my mother is her sister. As she was explaining all of this to me, I felt like the world was crumbling down around me. I felt very dizzy and sick to my stomach. I have a memory of my grandmother standing at the front door, watching my mother (her daughter) beat the crap out of me in her driveway. My mother had grabbed me by one arm and was violently hitting me with her other arm. My grandmother stood at the door and watched my mother hit me. She just shook her head, and then she moved away from the door and stopped watching.
I cut my adopted parents and my adopted brother completely out of my life over a year and a half ago, but I kept in communication with my extended family for a few months after that. I didn't immediately cut my extended family out of my life after my aunt told me that everyone in our family knew about the abuse but had decided not to intervene and stop it. I talked with my aunt over the phone and through Facebook Messenger, and each time I talked to her, the angrier I became towards her and the rest of my family. She was always trying to justify herself and our family's decision not to stop my mother from abusing me. She told me that she would leave our house crying because of the way my mother was treating me. She even tried to persuade me that God has always loved me and that God could heal me of the pain and trauma that haunts me to this day. I'll admit that that made me even more pi**ed off at her.
In my effort to cut my family out of my life, I removed my relatives from my friendship list on Facebook, and I deleted their phone numbers from my cellphone. I haven't spoken to any of my relatives on the phone or communicated with them on Facebook in several weeks. I hadn't heard from my aunt until today. She sent me a message on Facebook with her same old rhetoric. She tried to assure me that she loves me, misses me, and thinks about me all the time. As I read her message, I couldn't help but think that this is the woman who knew that her sister was abusing me and that she refused to report her sister's abuse of me to the police or CPS.
The purpose of my thread is to ask for advice on whether I should reply to her or not. If I decide to reply, then should I confront her for turning a blind eye and leaving me in an abusive home while I was growing up? For the record, I'm not looking for advice or other remarks that involve the Christian God. Been there, done that. I'm not interested in being preached at, lectured at, or proselytized.
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