Ask a nonbinary person

[VoidCat]

Inspired by @We Never Know. And his thread. Ask me anything about being nonbinary so long it's in good faith. To spread understanding. Keep in mind i can only answer in regards to my own experience not anyone else's. Also this is not a thread to debate if nonbinary folk exist. Please don't flood this thread with an argument on if nonbinary folk exist or not. I am posting this to explain my own experience not debate. If you post here about how I'm not really nonbinary, that im mentally ill and nonbinary folk dont exist i will put you on ignore.

 

[crossfire]

Have you noticed any particular affinity between asexuals and nonbinary people as compared to the rest of the population?

 

[VoidCat]

Have you noticed any particular affinity between asexuals and nonbinary people as compared to the rest of the population?

Yep. For some reason I have noticed a lot of asexual nonbinary folk. Moreso then cis or binary trans asexual folk. I have no clue why that is

 

[VoidCat]

Yep. For some reason I have noticed a lot of asexual nonbinary folk. Moreso then cis or binary trans asexual folk. I have no clue why that is

Maybe it's because both are not as well known so it's more likely that a nonbinary person wouldve heard of asexuality and vise versa over a cis person or a binary trans person knowing? That's the best i got.

 

[crossfire]

Yep. For some reason I have noticed a lot of asexual nonbinary folk. Moreso then cuz or binary trans asexual folk. I have no clue why that is

Could it be because gender is often a mask for sexual attraction? If you are an asexual, and don't want to play that sexual attraction game, then donning a scary mask might be a strategy to diffuse any annoying sexual attraction.

 

[VoidCat]

Could it be because gender is often a mask for sexual attraction? If you are an asexual, and don't want to play that sexual attraction game, then donning a scary mask might be a strategy to diffuse any possible (and annoying) sexual attraction.

Hmm...maybe. Or perhaps a nonbinary person might not be as in touch with their body due to gender dysphoria and identify as asexual as a result. And ive heard of some asexual folk who have feelings of replusion towards their genitals so it's also possible for an asexual person to feel they are nonbinary for that reason. Another reason might be many asexual folk are assigned female at birth and perhaps they wish their bodies werent so sexualized so they then feel a disconnect and don't identify as women as a result. All this might mean they might not actually be asexual or nonbinary depending on the circumstance or they still might be but have other issues related to their asexuality/gender identity/assigned sex at birth

 

[VoidCat]

@crossfire. I actually met an asexual person who was a cis female identified as such but decided to get her boobs removed because she didnt like them and felt more comfortable without them. I dont know how common it is in the asexual community but there's quite a few AFAB folk who dont feel a connection to their boobs or genitals but still identify as cis for whatever reason.

 

[crossfire]

@crossfire. I actually met an asexual person who was a cis female identified as such but decided to get her boobs removed because she didnt like them and felt more comfortable without them. I dont know how common it is in the asexual community but there's quite a few AFAB folk who dont feel a connection to their boobs or genitals but still identify as cis for whatever reason.

When I was a teen, a lot of us would try to find ways to get insurance to pay for breast reduction operations. Looking back now, the best strategy would be that it would be a good investment. 1 in 8 women develop breast cancer, but the breast cancer rate of those who have breast reductions are much lower than that.

 

[Twilight Hue]

@crossfire. I actually met an asexual person who was a cis female identified as such but decided to get her boobs removed because she didnt like them and felt more comfortable without them. I dont know how common it is in the asexual community but there's quite a few AFAB folk who dont feel a connection to their boobs or genitals but still identify as cis for whatever reason.

That's uncanny. That's exactly what one of my nieces did.

My question is what or why, is having a sexual identifier so uncomfortable for you?

Why is it so repulsive that a person would prefer non labeling ones mental and physical make up as opposed to a designation that people are already familiar with?

 

[Treasure Hunter]

Inspired by @We Never Know. And his thread. Ask me anything about being nonbinary so long it's in good faith. To spread understanding. Keep in mind i can only answer in regards to my own experience not anyone else's. Also this is not a thread to debate if nonbinary folk exist. Please don't flood this thread with an argument on if nonbinary folk exist or not. I am posting this to explain my own experience not debate. If you post here about how I'm not really nonbinary, that im mentally ill and nonbinary folk dont exist i will put you on ignore.

There are a never ending amount of identities that exist / can exist, so I affirm that the gender identity “non binary” exists and you identify with it.

My concern comes when people claim that their gender identity is not just an identity with which they identify, but it is some variation of their true self (who I really am, etc.). Is this what you claim as well?

 

[VoidCat]

That's uncanny. That's exactly what one of my nieces did.

My question is what or why, is having a sexual identifier so uncomfortable for you?

Why is it so repulsive that a person would prefer non labeling ones mental and physical make up as opposed to a designation that people are already familiar with?

I'm not sure what you mean by sexual identifier. Do you mean in terms of gender identity or sexuality?

There are a never ending amount of identities that exist / can exist, so I affirm that the gender identity “non binary” exists and you identify with it.

My concern comes when people claim that their gender identity is not just an identity with which they identify, but it is some variation of their true self (who I really am, etc.). Is this what you claim as well?

I don't understand? Wouldnt it be part of who they are to identify as nonbinary?

 

[Treasure Hunter]

I don't understand? Wouldnt it be part of who they are to identify as nonbinary?

What I mean is when gender identity squeezes out soul identity. To the degree that people are identifying more with gender than the soul, it’s concerning to me because salvation / heaven gets conflated with gender identity.

The idea becomes that everything will be great once I can live my “true” gender identity. Reality is not set up this way in my experience. Salvation / heaven must be de-coupled from gender. I realize people are not using religious language like “true gender is salvation” but they are acting it out.

 

[VoidCat]

What I mean is when gender identity squeezes out soul identity. To the degree that people are identifying more with gender than the soul, it’s concerning to me because salvation / heaven gets conflated with gender identity.

The idea becomes that everything will be great once I can live my “true” gender identity. Reality is not set up this way in my experience. Salvation / heaven must be de-coupled from gender. I realize people are not using religious language like “true gender is salvation” but they are acting it out.

Well if what you asking is if being seen as nonbinary will solve all my problems no it won't.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

When did you realize you were nonbinary?

 

[Treasure Hunter]

Well if what you asking is if being seen as nonbinary will solve all my problems no it won't.

More precisely, it can’t fulfill what we hunger for. It can’t cure what pains us. That’s what needs to be brought to awareness within the gender dialogue in my view.

How often are young people saying the word ‘soul’ compared to the word ‘gender’? Ok, I’m done with my 2 cents.

 

[VoidCat]

When did you realize you were nonbinary?

I've felt like this since i was 7. But I came across the term nonbinary when i was 12. I openly started identifying as such when I was 14

 

[Twilight Hue]

I'm not sure what you mean by sexual identifier. Do you mean in terms of gender identity or sexuality?

I don't understand? Wouldnt it be part of who they are to identify as nonbinary?

Well the identification people already use.

In general, terms like Homosexual, heterosexual, bi sexual, transsexual, among others that describes a person etc.

It seems there are people now who want, "None of the above". Basically an umbrella term

It, from what i can tell, sends a signal that there is an unresolvable identity crises present, or someone trying to fit into a specific social circle that resents already established terms that are out there.

 

[VoidCat]

Well the identification people already use.

In general, terms like Homosexual, heterosexual, bi sexual, transsexual, among others that describes a person etc.

It seems there are people now who want, "None of the above". Basically an umbrella term

It, from what i can tell, sends a signal that there is an unresolvable identity crises present, or someone trying to fit into a specific social circle that resents already established terms that are out there.

Well nonbinary is an established term. I know plenty of folk who know what it means.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Well nonbinary is an established term. I know plenty of folk who know what it means.

Your right.

It seems to go as far back as the late 1700s involving a Quaker.

Public Universal Friend - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

It seems a religion arose creating a genderless religious order or denomination.

 

[VoidCat]

Your right.

It seems to go as far back as the late 1700s involving a Quaker.

Public Universal Friend - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

It seems a religion arose creating a genderless religious order or denomination.

I've heard of public universal friend. I used to be a Quaker.