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Are you worthy?

Discussion in 'Philosophy' started by SigurdReginson, Apr 22, 2021.

  1. SigurdReginson

    SigurdReginson Well-Known Member
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    Most of my life, I've struggled with low self esteem. Thankfully, I've been able to wrestle that beast and have conquered it, but it was a battle. I now know my value.

    What about you? Do you have value? Does your value come from without, or does it come from within? Do all people have intrinsic value? Are some people more valuable than others?
     
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  2. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Veteran Member
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    Worthy of what?
     
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  3. Conscious thoughts

    Conscious thoughts Veteran Member

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    All my life i have not seen my self as important, and always wanted to be there for everyone else. And my biggest "fault" is that i struggle with saying No to other people. But when i never say No, it did get to my health at one point.
    So in a way my "Value" isn`t for me, it is the ability to help others. (in my eyes)
    Are some people more valuable then others? I dont know.
     
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  4. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Well-Known Member
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    I struggle with my own value. I logically know I have value, but I often do not feel this way.

    I feel all people have equal value in the grand scheme of things, though sometimes its easy to forget.
     
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  5. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Veteran Member
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    Were you able to identify the causes of your low self esteem? Did that help? Did you raise your self esteem without knowing them?
     
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  6. sun rise

    sun rise "This is the Hour of God"
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    Within.

    Yes.

    My answer is 'no'. There are different ways I express our Oneness. I particularly like this from the TV show Babylon 5:

    The universe speaks in many languages, but only one voice.
    It speaks in the language of hope
    It speaks in the language of trust
    It speaks in the language of strength and the language of compassion
    It is the language of the heart and the language of the soul.
    But always it is the same voice
    It is the voice of our ancestors, speaking through us,
    And the voice of our inheritors, waiting to be born
    It is the small, still voice that says
    We are one
    No matter the blood
    No matter the skin
    No matter the world

    We are one
    No matter the pain
    No matter the darkness
    No matter the loss
    No matter the fear
    We are one
    Here, gathered together in common cause, we agree to recognize this
    singular truth and this singular rule:
    That we must be kind to one another
    Because each voice enriches us and ennobles us and each voice lost
    diminishes us.
    We are the voice of the Universe, the soul of creation, the fire
    that will light the way to a better future.
    We are one.
     
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  7. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Veteran Member
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    That doesn't sound very healthy, honestly.
     
  8. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Veteran Member
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    That is a pie full of questions. If I knock at a random door I will be turned away, because I am a stranger. So my value in that context depends on who I know and whether they like me. That, in turn, depends on how well I can get people to like me. If that isn't value then what is?

    Also moral people value each other. In a way it is like money. People who accept money make that money valuable, and analogously moral people value morality and one another. If you declare you hate morality your value goes down in a moral community. Similarly if you question morals your value may come into question. I'm not talking about a particular community or a religion. I'm talking about any community: a village or even a circle of thieves who have a code. If you break the code your value goes down.

    Intrinsic value is not one way. To have value means to have something that is desired, so someone must desire it. The only exception is that if you desire your self then you value yourself, but this is not sustainable without community support. Even if you have some sort of unique and beautiful characteristics, even then as a human you can't keep liking yourself if no one else does. At some point you need to be loved, or you will never feel your value and thus will not have any. Value unfelt is none.
     
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  9. Conscious thoughts

    Conscious thoughts Veteran Member

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    It is not healthy. Learning to say no when you always said yes, even your body want to rest, is not healthy for sure
     
    #9 Conscious thoughts, Apr 22, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2021
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  10. RestlessSoul

    RestlessSoul Active Member

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    I have certainly had struggles with low self esteem. Which, somewhat counter intuitively, often goes hand in hand with an inflated ego.

    Puncturing the ego, and striving to replace pride with humility, helps replenish the well of self worth. The less I think about myself, the more I am comfortable with myself.
     
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  11. aketo

    aketo Active Member

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    I have value for myself.
    Not to me, no.
    Yes.
     
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  12. stvdv

    stvdv Veteran Member

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    Yes. Took me also quite long to regain

    From within, but reflecting without:D

    Yes

    No, but I do choose wisely who to keep close
     
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  13. Mock Turtle

    Mock Turtle Silent Generation - so don't expect much
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    I'm sure I did have low self-esteem for much of my life, being rather shy and introverted as a child, but this did improve somewhat later and has gone beyond that. I seem to have transitioned into being more balanced - neither introverted or extroverted.

    Perhaps knowing how I compared with others (at college and in various physical activities) enabled me to become more confident, but mostly it has come from not being so bothered as to how I might appear to others. I'm sure many get their esteem from those they love and who return such (especially partners), and which I have sadly lacked, or from close friends and/or family. At least I have had many friends over my life and have few regrets in our relationships so there is that at least. I'm sure I felt valued in any relationships then, often being part of a team or being in such a position where we shared our adventures.

    I'm not sure what value I have as such though - over any other - and do see others as having intrinsic worth even if I might disapprove of much of their behaviour or views. Many do seem to be more valuable, to society at least, and which for me is the more important, than merely being valuable as an individual.
     
  14. Hermit Philosopher

    Hermit Philosopher Selflessly here for you

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    Dear SigurdReginson

    I’m pleased that you have found a way of remembering your worth. Life, sometimes will distort our way of understanding things.

    Spiritually, I have learnt that it is with this as with so much else; we all have our own personal discoveries to make in order to find our way back to inwardly balance.

    Some people (me, for example) have experiences that inflate their ego and make them live arrogantly. If they are lucky, they’ll hit a wall and remember the gift of humility.

    Others, unwillingly spend their lives denying themselves, feeling that they sacrifice their whole being in ways that fill them with self-hatred.

    There are interesting differences between spiritual selflessness and worldly self-denial that are not always visible to the beholder, that would make for good food for thought at some point, by the way.

    But to the questions in your OP:
    We all have value
    It comes from within
    And nobody is worth less than another


    Humbly
    Hermit
     
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  15. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium Advaita Vedantin
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    Apparently not. No one wants to pay for me. Hecks, no one will even take me for free.

    It depends upon whose perspective one is using to determine value. For me, my body and mind are just borrowed. Their value to me is is temporary, being merely a vehicle for a human experience. Ultimately, they will expire and will have zero value, even to me. Others may find value in me based upon our interactions...or not.

    Again, it depends upon whose perspective one is rating value. My daughter has more value to me than Bob McGillicuddy, because I've never met Bob and probably never will. That's not to say that one's right to live is greater than the other. It simply means that my daughter has had and will continue to have a greater impact on my life than Bob, and therefore, I value her more. Similarly, all of you here are more valuable to me than Bob. I interact with you, but I don't interact with Bob. That interaction has value to me.

    I'm happy for you that you were able overcome your self-esteem issue.
     
  16. SigurdReginson

    SigurdReginson Well-Known Member
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    I often find the biggest and harshest critic I've had in my life is myself, what about you? Do you think the idea of self worth you have is skewed at all, or do you feel you judge yourself fairly?
     
  17. SigurdReginson

    SigurdReginson Well-Known Member
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    I feel this! It's also been one of my biggest struggles as well. I've gotten a lot better at it, thankfully. :)

    There is value in helping others, for sure. It was a struggle for me to learn to put myself first - but since I have it has put into perspective what healthy help looks like vs, being taken advantage of. Not only that, but I can also help people better when I deal with my issues first (and not neglect myself). Putting self first = being in a better place to help people when they need it. :D
     
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  18. SigurdReginson

    SigurdReginson Well-Known Member
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    Well, I hope you realize I think you are a valuable person, @JustGeorge. You've given me some wonderful advice when I was going through some rough stuff in my life that has stuck with me. So, at least in my life, you've had impact. You're one of the good ones! :D
     
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  19. SigurdReginson

    SigurdReginson Well-Known Member
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    Oh yes. It was mostly just in the way my parents raised me. They did the best they could, but some of the things they instilled in me left me with self doubt. They also always taught me to put others first... Which became a habit that was hard to break. It seems I wasn't the only one effected this way, since all of my siblings have similar struggles as such.

    I think my religious upbringing contributed as well. In my particular brand of christianity, I was raised that I was worthless without god. I could only rely on him, and not myself. Self confidence was seen as a worldly thing; that it was a product of humanism, which was satan misleading people away from reliance on Jesus.

    To give you some context about how toxic it was, my church's position on the Carebears were that they were demonic. They taught humanistic principles and reliance on self rather than god, and so therefor Carebears were evil. :confused:

    Most definitely, but it took a lot of self reflection to get to that point... Once I was able to identify the issue, though, I had a point of reference to work with.

    In retrospect, having a councilor would have helped me get to that point sooner in my life.

    Hmmm... Yes, and no.

    Getting away from my denomination of church did help some. Not constantly hearing about how worthless I am seems to have helped me feel a little better about myself. :D Also, getting away from my family seems to have helped, too. The later helped more than the former.

    Ultimately, though, I didn't learn how to truly value myself until I learned the root causes. With perspective comes a vantage point one can use to plot a course to better places. :) Since charting those courses, things are good!
     
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  20. SigurdReginson

    SigurdReginson Well-Known Member
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    I'd love to get around to everyone else's posts, but I need to get ready for work! Have a wonderful day, folks. :D
     
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