An old "friend" is moving in, I'd rather he didn't

[The Sum of Awe]

I know I'm about to sound like a jerk here.

I have an old "friend' moving in with me at the end of this month it sounds like. I don't really want him to, I hate living with other men. Even if they're clean it just feels dirty
This guy is also annoying, as mean as it is to say. He talks over me in conversations and his conversations will be about the same, boring topic for an hour straight.

On top of that, I really like my privacy.

I told him it's only short term until he finds a place. He seems like the guy who would understand that and keep his word about it... but then again, he is moving 2 hours away from where he currently lives. He will have no friends up this way except for me. I think he'll expect to hang out now and again even after he moves out of my place, but I won't ever want to. And then I'd feel bad.

I'm not going to tell him no, that he can't live with me if that's what he wants to do. But I'm not pretending to be excited about it either. I'm just letting him know it's okay, I told him it's only short term until he finds a place. I told him "I hope you don't expect me to be outgoing, I really keep to myself a lot." and to that he said "I haven't been out much either. Except for the last couple of weekends I went to the bar in town here and... blah, blah, blah." so I don't know if he got what I was trying to say. I don't know how to say "I'll probably rarely hang out with you if you move up here" without being rude.

He will also be working with me, which is the sole reason he's moving up this way.

 

[Orbit]

Sounds like a disaster in the making. Why don't you just tell him "no"?

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Sounds like a disaster in the making. Why don't you just tell him "no"?

I don't think it's necessarily disastrous, just inconvenient for me. It kind of impedes the privacy I'm used to and it will get in the way of some of my free time. When I was writing this post I made it a bigger deal than it is. I can hold my breath for a couple of months and do him a favor. I'm just a little annoyed is all.

 

[AnnaCzereda]

I really don't understand it. Why say "yes" if you actually think "no"? Do you owe him something? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I told him it's only short term until he finds a place.

"Short term" is pretty subjective. It may mean a month to you; and it may mean a couple of years to me. I would put a time limit on it, or you may find you have a new roomie for the next year or so.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I really don't understand it. Why say "yes" if you actually think "no"? Do you owe him something? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

You're right. I have a bad habit of that unfortunately. It's too late now, he has an interview at the job and I already said he could. It's not a big enough deal for me to back out of. I already told him my conditions (not to expect me to hang out a lot, that this moving in is only temporary, we are splitting bills)

 

[The Sum of Awe]

"Short term" is pretty subjective. It may mean a month to you; and it may mean a couple of years to me. I would put a time limit on it, or you may find you have a new roomie for the next year or so.

He has told me a couple months. But perhaps I should specify that a couple means 2-3 when I see him, just in case. Thank you. I hate sounding demanding to people, so I'm afraid I will come off as a jerk saying "But I want to make sure you understand by short term I mean 2-3 months until you can find a place."

 

[Sand Dancer]

I know I'm about to sound like a jerk here.

I have an old "friend' moving in with me at the end of this month it sounds like. I don't really want him to, I hate living with other men. Even if they're clean it just feels dirty
This guy is also annoying, as mean as it is to say. He talks over me in conversations and his conversations will be about the same, boring topic for an hour straight.

On top of that, I really like my privacy.

I told him it's only short term until he finds a place. He seems like the guy who would understand that and keep his word about it... but then again, he is moving 2 hours away from where he currently lives. He will have no friends up this way except for me. I think he'll expect to hang out now and again even after he moves out of my place, but I won't ever want to. And then I'd feel bad.

I'm not going to tell him no, that he can't live with me if that's what he wants to do. But I'm not pretending to be excited about it either. I'm just letting him know it's okay, I told him it's only short term until he finds a place. I told him "I hope you don't expect me to be outgoing, I really keep to myself a lot." and to that he said "I haven't been out much either. Except for the last couple of weekends I went to the bar in town here and... blah, blah, blah." so I don't know if he got what I was trying to say. I don't know how to say "I'll probably rarely hang out with you if you move up here" without being rude.

He will also be working with me, which is the sole reason he's moving up this way.

It's important to look at your state's laws on roommates. Some states, like Florida, make it hard to kick roommates out if they pay rent.