An Amazing Interview With Midnight Blue!

[Sunstone]

Midnight Blue, let's begin with a few generic questions such as are typically asked by astute, professional interviewers in order to probe to the very depths of human psychology:

What kind of work do you do for a living?

What do you like best about it?

What do you like least about it?

What are your long term job goals?

You currently live in what many people consider the American "Bible Belt". Were you raised in the Bible Belt?

What role did religion play in your early life? Was it of considerable importance to you at one time? Or were you always on a take it or leave it basis with religion? And what, if anything, did you find most attractive about it?

At what age did you first start having doubts about religion, and when did you decide to walk away from it altogether?

How did that decision affect your relationships with your family (especially John), and with your community?

Do you tend to drive above or below the speed limit?

Do you consider yourself a dreamer? If so, what's one of your favorite "dreams"?

Is it socially permissible to spit in a man's face if their mustache is on fire, or do the rules of etiquette require us to drench them with a garden hose even if they're wearing a silk suit?

What are two of the most important things we can do in this world besides be ever vigilant to save our fellow humans from potentially catastrophic mustache fires?

Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? What are four books you've read more than once?

If your favorite RF poster boarded a train that left Philadelphia at 6 AM traveling at 73 mph, while your second favorite poster were a musical instrument that got shipped by air from Seattle at 3 AM the following afternoon, what would they be serving in the train's dining car?

Do you ever feel awkward when offering people advice?

Are you bitter that Quagmire has never properly acknowledged your expertise with the Andean nose flute?

If you only knew as much about evolution as the average creationist, do you think you might be a creationist too?

How long do you think it will be before gay marriage is recognized as a constitutional right in the United States?

What kind of a cook are you? For instance: What's one of the best meals you've ever cooked, what was the occasion, and what was the beverage you chose to go with it?

Is love mightier than the sword in the long run?

Do either you or John write poetry? If so, how would you characterize that poetry?

What's your preferred medium in which to creatively express yourself?

What sort of hobbies do you pursue? Which hobby gives you the greatest satisfaction as a primate?

Do you read any blogs? If so, which blogs do you read on a regular basis?

Why aren't coke cans widely recognized as potent phallic symbols, especially when shaken?

What's the most effective way for you to unwind after a long day?

Are your tastes in music as exotic as your alleged craving for an exquisite pair of moose pelt house slippers?

Offhand, and without thinking about it, which six of your ten favorite posters on RF are you most likely to someday invite to an impressive Andean nose flute recital?

What, if anything, still has the power to amaze you about life?

Do you enjoy being alone?

According to Howard Gardner, there are at least eight distinct kinds of human intelligence. Are you familiar with his theory of "Multiple Intelligences", and if so, how do you evaluate it?

Some scientists believe birds can actually see the earth's magnetic field. Does that mean birds can read our innermost thoughts when we print them on refrigerator magnets?

 

[Smoke]

I think I'll take these a few at a time.

What kind of work do you do for a living?

None, really. I was a cosmetology instructor, and may end up going back to that, but I'm taking a year off to try to make a living at genealogy.

What do you like best about it?

The thing I like best about genealogy is probably the "puzzle" aspect of it, finding evidence and figuring out connections. I also like trying to understand our ancestors' lives -- how they lived and what motivated them -- as much as possible; I'm not interested in just a string of names and dates.

The best days are sometimes when serendipity drops something into your lap. Genealogists often notice that sometimes they can almost have a sort of sixth sense for finding things. For example, I knew that my third-great-grandfather died between 1810 and 1820, but that's all I knew. One day, I was in Raleigh and noticed a shelf of genealogical society magazines. I had work planned for the day, and I wasn't about to sit down and read through them, but I picked one up at random and flipped it open, and there on the first page I opened to it told where the inventory of his estate could be found -- which was in the same building. So I narrowed down the date of his death considerably, and walked out with a copy of the inventory.

I especially like those inventories; they kind of give you a sense of how people lived.

What do you like least about it?

It can be incredibly tedious. For instance, you know that somebody died between 1915 and 1917, and you spend a day cranking through microfilms of all the local papers for those years trying to find something, but you never do. Or you don't know a married woman's maiden name, and you spend days going through wills, hoping somebody mentioned her and stated the relationship. And then there's the transcription.

What are your long term job goals?

To be able to make a living doing research and publishing. I don't function well in 9 to 5, and I like to be able to travel.

You currently live in what many people consider the American "Bible Belt". Were you raised in the Bible Belt?

I was born in Pensacola, Florida, which was (later) the home of the Brownsville Revival. When I was five, we moved to southwestern Ohio. That did help broaden the view a little, since there were a lot more Catholics and Eastern Orthodox, but religious fundamentalism still had a lot of influence. When I was fifteen, we moved to South Carolina, which is definitely back in the Bible Belt.

Religious influences in my family were a fairly diverse selection of different Christianities.

My mother's parents, who died before I was born, had been staunch Methodists, and that kind of religion was very common on the Southern side of my family; in fact, we were brought up Methodist. My mother's maternal grandfather, who died when I was eight, was a Pentecostal preacher. Other relatives were Presbyterian, Baptist, Pentecostal, all pretty fundamentalist in outlook. It was considered shocking when a relative joined Jehovah's Witnesses, and absolutely unthinkable that a relative could join the Catholic Church.

My father's family was more liberal. My grandfather was Irish Catholic, had nothing but disdain for Protestantism, and found frequent occasions to point out that Protestants weren't really Christians at all. Still, he never went to Mass, and he had a sneering attitude toward monastics and clergy. My grandmother grew up Lutheran, a compromise agreed to by my Catholic great-grandfather and my German Methodist great-grandmother. Sometime before her marriage, she and her parents all joined the Evangelical & Reformed Church, which later became part of the United Church of Christ. So by the time I came along, you could have characterized my grandmother, and my great-grandmother to a lesser extent, as liberal Protestants. My grandmother was a Sunday School teacher, and loved to read and study the Bible, but she tended not to take the miracles in it too literally, and she would have been astounded at today's Young Earth Creationists. I first learned about evolution from my grandmother. Her denomination was the first mainline denomination in the US to ordain an openly-gay minister, in 1970.

So I kind of feel like I grew up with one foot in the Bible Belt and one foot out.

 

[Smoke]

What role did religion play in your early life? Was it of considerable importance to you at one time? Or were you always on a take it or leave it basis with religion? And what, if anything, did you find most attractive about it?

I was always very religious. I guess it started with the Old Testament Bible stories. They were just good stories, even the horrifying ones. I thought religion was a way of knowing, and a way of connecting with the Eternal. I was obsessed with detail, too. I'd make charts of Bible chronology, and pester my grandmother with arcane questions about the Bible. I'd visit all kinds of different churches, and read their books, and go to their services if they seemed interesting enough. I was a very odd kid. I'd telephone ministers I'd never met and ask them what their tradition taught about a particular point of theology. I invited Jehovah's Witnesses into the house to talk, much to my mother's consternation. I took correspondence Bible study courses. I ordered Christian books and tracts by mail order. When I was five, my great-grandmother gave me the Revised Standard Version of the Bible. My mother said King James was better. Eventually, my grandmother gave a copy of Good News for Modern Man, and by the time I was eight or nine, I'd sit for hours with a big sheet of paper, writing out Bible verses from different versions in parallel columns, comparing translations. I'd ask adults what version of the Bible they used, and whether they believed in infant baptism. Like I said, I was just odd.

At what age did you first start having doubts about religion, and when did you decide to walk away from it altogether?

I guess I always had some kind of doubts because of the diversity of Christian views I was exposed to. I was always trying to figure out who was right. My first big decision in rejecting religion was when I was thirteen, and decided I didn't want to be confirmed in the Methodist Church. My mother informed me that I was going to be confirmed, and I was, but I didn't last long after that. I didn't reject Christianity, though, just went looking for more authentic forms of Christianity. That lasted a while.

Prior to getting together with John, I had gotten active in church again, and I knew that church and homosexuality weren't going to go together. I quit taking Communion, but still went to services for a while, then I started trying to find a more liberal church for a while. It was in 2005 that I renounced Christianity altogether, and I realized I was an atheist very quickly after that.

Some of my relatives still don't know I'm an atheist; the ones who know fall into two camps: the ones who are appalled, and the ones who figure I was going to hell for being gay, anyway, so who cares? John is okay with it; he's not an atheist himself, but he's not the sort of Christian who believes atheists go to hell, so it's not a big problem. He'd probably like it better if we found a nice gay-friendly Pentecostal church and went there together, but that was never going to happen anyway. Most of my friends couldn't care less. Most of them are Christians, but disenchanted with church. My friend Mikey, who was a convinced atheist, was very happy for me; I think the happiest I ever saw him was when I told him I wasn't a Christian anymore. He died six months later, so I was glad I apostasized in time for him to learn about it.

Do you tend to drive above or below the speed limit?

A little above, usually about 5 mph above.

Do you consider yourself a dreamer? If so, what's one of your favorite "dreams"?

Almost all my dreams are about travel. I like to go new places and see new things.

 

[Smoke]

Is it socially permissible to spit in a man's face if their mustache is on fire, or do the rules of etiquette require us to drench them with a garden hose even if they're wearing a silk suit?

Men who wear silk suits deserve what they get; however, a policy of controlled burning helps clear out underbrush, and a policy of extinguishing each and every mustache fire may not be wise.

What are two of the most important things we can do in this world besides be ever vigilant to save our fellow humans from potentially catastrophic mustache fires?

This life, now, is the only life we know, and it only lasts for a short time. Everyone ought to figure out for himself what's important to him, where his passion lies, what delights him -- then follow that. Whether that leads you a life as a political firebrand like Frederick Douglass or life of a reclusive spinster working in the garden and writing poetry like Emily Dickinson, the main thing is that it's your path. I guess the two most important things are to be honest, with yourself at the very least, and to remember the transience of life.

Do you read more fiction or non-fiction?

More non-fiction. When I discover fiction writers I like, though, I'm likely to read everything they ever wrote.

What are four books you've read more than once?

• The Count of Monte Cristo
• Everything by Flannery O'Connor
• Housekeeping, by Marilynne Robinson
• Everything by John Morressey

Generally, I'm less likely to read non-fiction over and over, but when historians or travel writers can tell a good story -- like Steven Runciman, John Julius Norwich, David Howarth, Barbara W. Tuchman, Mary Edith Durham, or Richard Halliburton -- I'll keep returning to their books.

If your favorite RF poster boarded a train that left Philadelphia at 6 AM traveling at 73 mph, while your second favorite poster were a musical instrument that got shipped by air from Seattle at 3 AM the following afternoon, what would they be serving in the train's dining car?

I'd like to think that in a magical world where it was possible to do anything at all at 3AM in the afternoon, it would always be possible at any time or place to have a Greek salad with your choice of pizza or gyro.

Do you ever feel awkward when offering people advice?

No. I don't give advice unless I'm comfortable with it.

Are you bitter that Quagmire has never properly acknowledged your expertise with the Andean nose flute?

Outsiders rarely understand just how fiercely competitive the art of the Andean nose flute is, or how frustrating it must be for Quagmire to be so consistently described as the world's second best nose flautist. His resentment is more to be pitied than blamed. My accomplishments in the field speak for themselves, and need no endorsement from even the most eminent of lesser artists.

 

[Sunstone]

This is an excellent, if grueling interview, Bill. Thank you for the effort you've been putting into this! Keep it coming!

 

[Smoke]

If you only knew as much about evolution as the average creationist, do you think you might be a creationist too?

No. I can understand how people who don't have any particular interest in the subject can be led astray by preachers and pseudo-scientists to believe in Creationism, though.

How long do you think it will be before gay marriage is recognized as a constitutional right in the United States?

I really don't know. I don't believe we'll ever persuade Christians to treat us as they would be treated, so I guess it's a matter of waiting till they're bored with the issue.

What kind of a cook are you? For instance: What's one of the best meals you've ever cooked, what was the occasion, and what was the beverage you chose to go with it?

I'm a traditional, country cook with heavy Greek, German, Puerto Rican, and Greek influences. My favorite meal to make is a baked ham, Greek salad, fasolakia, and garlic bread. I always have beer and red wine on hand; some of our friends are big beer drinkers, and others would never touch alcohol if it weren't for port.

Is love mightier than the sword in the long run?

I'm not sure. But love is better.

Do either you or John write poetry? If so, how would you characterize that poetry?

I do. I'd characterize it as really bad poetry, and rather embarrassing. I'm more willing to share the stupid songs I make up while traveling, like "Marlene, Marlene," my favorite verse of which is:

she said, I've got something to tell you
this ain't gonna take very long
I'm having a baby
and I think that maybe
it's yours, but I could be wrong
​

What's your preferred medium in which to creatively express yourself?

I like home projects -- knocking down walls, building shelves and cabinets, tearing up carpets and redoing floors, etc. I like to write, and I'm playing around at painting. Not saying I'm very good at any of those things, but that's what I like.

 

[Sunstone]

*bump*

 

[Smoke]

What sort of hobbies do you pursue? Which hobby gives you the greatest satisfaction as a primate?

Other than the above-mentioned stabs at being creative, I enjoy genealogy so much that I'm trying to make it my occupation. I enjoy scrapbooking, though I don't get very fancy with it. My scrapbooks are just glorified photo albums that include brochures, ticket stubs, etc. I enjoy cooking, and I read as much as a I can find the time for.

Is drinking a hobby? Is it if you do it competitively?

Do you read any blogs? If so, which blogs do you read on a regular basis?

Off and on. I go through phases with it. The most recent one I've looked at is yours. Andrew Sullivan drives me crazy, but I do read his blog from time to time anyway, and Gay Patriot infuriates me, but I read it every now and then just to keep up with what the insane gay Republicans are saying. I like Big Queer Blog, blogActive, the Conjecturer, Ex-Gay Watch, Forgotten Beatitudes, Gay Rights Watch, Good As You, Joe.My.God, keithboykin.com, Nancy's Apology, Nontheist Friends, One Quaker Take, Pam's House Blend, The Quaker Dharma, QuakerRanter.org, reaching for the light, Rod 2.0, Scott-O-Rama, seanbugg.com, Stupid Evil *******, Towleroad, and What Canst Thou Say? But most days I don't read any of them.

Why aren't coke cans widely recognized as potent phallic symbols, especially when shaken?

Sometimes a Coke is just a Coke.

What's the most effective way for you to unwind after a long day?

Most evenings I cook supper, and then John and I eat in the den, watching the Corner Gas episode recorded the night before. That works pretty well. I don't really unwind too much, though. I'm usually up to something.

Are your tastes in music as exotic as your alleged craving for an exquisite pair of moose pelt house slippers?

My tastes in music are all over the place. I don't really like slippers, though.

Offhand, and without thinking about it, which six of your ten favorite posters on RF are you most likely to someday invite to an impressive Andean nose flute recital?

Alyssa, Rhonda, you, Jay, Becky, Pardus. Offhand and without thinking about it, that is. However, in general I think you enjoy the experience more if you pay for your tickets.

What, if anything, still has the power to amaze you about life?

The world. The sky, the beach, the mountains, wildlife. A few weeks ago I saw a bunch of wild turkeys, about six or eight of them, scuttling up a hillside. I've never seen that many at one time before. Once in a while I see a bear, and that delights me. I love the view of Pilot Mountain as you approach it from the south, and the view from the top of Grandfather Mountain. I love riding the sky tram at Gatlinburg, and the Incline Railway at Chattanooga. I love bodysurfing in the Atlantic Ocean and floating around in the swimming pool. I love the New York City subway, the Empire State Building, and the Strand Bookstore on Broadway. I love Niagara Falls and the Wisconsin Dells and Galveston Beach. I love frank old people and frank little kids and people who like to dance and people who are delighted with something new they've learned. I love knowing that today would have been my grandmother's one hundred and fourth birthday. All of it amazes me, and fascinates me.

 

[Smoke]

I almost forgot I wasn't finished.

Do you enjoy being alone?

I enjoy being around people, but not all the time. I work better alone; in fact, I rarely get anything productive done when John's home, other than cooking and washing dishes. When I'm working on something, I'll do a little work on it, then sit back, look at it, think about it, and then go a little more. I have to do things my own way, in my own time, and don't really work well with others unless I'm in charge. I like to sit alone and read, too, and I meditate some. But I also need interaction with other people, and enjoy visiting and having visitors.

According to Howard Gardner, there are at least eight distinct kinds of human intelligence. Are you familiar with his theory of "Multiple Intelligences", and if so, how do you evaluate it?

I'm unconvinced and unimpressed. I think of Gardner's theory as a kind of New Age, feel-good, pseudo-theory. Not so much a theory as a hypothesis, and one for which there's little evidence. It's not even a very precise hypothesis, so it's hard to say how you'd test it. I think Gardner is uncomfortable with the more traditional concept of intelligence and has attempted to provide a concept he finds more palatable, and I think his ideas appeal to people who feel politically incorrect talking about intelligence. There seems to very little substance to his theory, though.

Some scientists believe birds can actually see the earth's magnetic field. Does that mean birds can read our innermost thoughts when we print them on refrigerator magnets?

Not only that, they can read the hard drive on your computer and the magnetic strip on your credit cards. Birds find humans endlessly amusing.

 

[Sunstone]

Thank you for an excellent first round of responses, Bill. I'll have the second and final round up for you in the next few days.