AMERICAN GIRL disses BOSNIAN EX on YOU TUBE! FABULOUS!

[Djamila]

Ahahaha... I LOVE HER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbVpLdprB6s

I've never witnessed a Bosnian-American relationship before, especially not one with an American female! DOOMED from the START! LOL

 

[Hacker]

Ahahaha... I LOVE HER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbVpLdprB6s

I've never witnessed a Bosnian-American relationship before, especially not one with an American female! DOOMED from the START! LOL

Yeah I just watched it, funny funny. Why would she be doomed from the start? Is that the rep Bosnian men have?

 

[Djamila]

No, it's just... I only know two or three American woman, one beyond the internet - and I can just tell it wouldn't work. American women and Bosnian women are the same, but they fight different battles.

An American woman would probably have trouble to accept the... dominant in daily life... nature of a Bosnian man. Him ordering for her, him telling her more or less what she can and cant do (even though those orders are given politely, and not really all that strict). Bosnian women, we don't mind it because we expect doors opened for us, we expect not to pay for dinner, we expect all these things that we must be willing to trade something for.

I think American men/Bosnian women work okay because the type of man who is interested in a foreign woman is the type who will do these things. The Bosnian woman probably gets a door mat in some ways, which gives her the best of both worlds. But even that tires quickly, so hopefully he'll get fiesty or she might bolt also.

I think, though - in a Bosnian man/American woman relationship, you will NEVER see the man be the one to end it. LOL

 

[Djamila]

There's also no such thing as "dating" in Bosnian culture, not in the American sense of the word. If you date, the expectation is you will get married. Sure the relationship ends, but you hire a prostitute if you just want fun or sex, you don't go "out" with someone.

Also, weddings is not as big a deal here as in America. Engagements are short, there's no such thing as rehearsals. You get engaged after dating, if the whole arse doesn't fall out of the relationship in 6-12 months, and then you get married the following Saturday.

 

[Djamila]

It says so much, though, if you listen closely. When she was dancing with his "hot" sister (proud, hahaha) and he said "that's not appropriate". She gets it, that he's saying - I don't given you permission to do that - because she adds "You don't own me!" afterwards.

Also when she says she told him from the beginning, nothing serious, but hints that he thought she was just "talking big" - and does those quotes like those were his exact words. LOL That's the kind of dismissiveness our women deal with. "Oh how cute, the little dog barks SO loud!" kind of attitude.

 

[Djamila]

As if it isn't obvious enough by three posts in a row - lets make it 4 to say: I am ABSOLUTELY FASCINATED by these sorts of things! I just LOVE it. I should have been a sociologist (assuming that's who studies these sorts of things, lol).

 

[Hacker]

No, it's just... I only know two or three American woman, one beyond the internet - and I can just tell it wouldn't work. American women and Bosnian women are the same, but they fight different battles.

An American woman would probably have trouble to accept the... dominant in daily life... nature of a Bosnian man. Him ordering for her, him telling her more or less what she can and cant do (even though those orders are given politely, and not really all that strict). Bosnian women, we don't mind it because we expect doors opened for us, we expect not to pay for dinner, we expect all these things that we must be willing to trade something for.

I think American men/Bosnian women work okay because the type of man who is interested in a foreign woman is the type who will do these things. The Bosnian woman probably gets a door mat in some ways, which gives her the best of both worlds. But even that tires quickly, so hopefully he'll get fiesty or she might bolt also.

I think, though - in a Bosnian man/American woman relationship, you will NEVER see the man be the one to end it. LOL

Oh yes, I can see American women having a tough time being told what to do by a man cause I know that I wouldn't put up with it. But of course cultures differ in that respect, which I find some things in other cultures very interesting and intriguing, and also odd and against my preferences. Although i'm sure some women in America "put up" with their husband telling them what to do, but I'm aware now that it's more prevalent in Bosnia, interesting.:yes: ANd I can't say that i'm against Bosnian women for "putting up" with it because that's just what their accustomed to.

 

[Hacker]

As if it isn't obvious enough by three posts in a row - lets make it 4 to say: I am ABSOLUTELY FASCINATED by these sorts of things! I just LOVE it. I should have been a sociologist (assuming that's who studies these sorts of things, lol).

Do you mean facinated with different cultures, and comparing? I think it's very interesting too! Prolly not as much as you though. That's cool though.

 

[Djamila]

Yeah, it's different here.

I know my preference is for a man to be dominant in daily life. I like to be taken care of in that way. I like having my jacket handed to me, I like being asked after every bite at a restaurant, "Does it takes okay? Do you have enough spices?", etc.

I like being domestic in some ways. When we have friends over for dinner, and we're done eating, here the women get up, take away the dishes, bring the men their coffee and cigars, and leave. And we'll usually go out on the balcony with our coffee and cigarettes, and I just look at my husband and feel so proud, so you? I like... when he asks where his shirt is, I like that I know and he doesn't. And I like the way he looks at me when I do something for him, or when I look especially nice.

I think, in my head, these things are romantic. And maybe they're old-fashioned in the West, but it's how I prefer it. I like having my doors opened for me, I like how he shows me off when we're out at parties and things and how constantly concerned he is with my comfort.

And if that means I eat what he orders, and I sun tan in my bikini on the back lawn instead of front now, and I do the dishes at night instead of first thing in the morning - that's fine with me. Even though it's not obvious, I am in charge when I want to me. If I feel strongly about something, I always win - that's part of the dinamic of our relationships.

So, I don't know. I suppose it's just drilled into you at birth.

 

[Hacker]

There's also no such thing as "dating" in Bosnian culture, not in the American sense of the word. If you date, the expectation is you will get married. Sure the relationship ends, but you hire a prostitute if you just want fun or sex, you don't go "out" with someone.

Also, weddings is not as big a deal here as in America. Engagements are short, there's no such thing as rehearsals. You get engaged after dating, if the whole arse doesn't fall out of the relationship in 6-12 months, and then you get married the following Saturday.

That amazes me that there is no such thing as "dating" in Bosnia, how the heck do you know if you want to marry the guy/girl? How do they even know who they want to marry? You can't just marry your first date, and if you don't marry your fist date, you date again right?? So how does that work?

 

[Djamila]

That amazes me that there is no such thing as "dating" in Bosnia, how the heck do you know if you want to marry the guy/girl? How do they even know who they want to marry? You can't just marry your first date, and if you don't marry your fist date, you date again right?? So how does that work?

Oh there is 'dating', it's just... it ALWAYS comes with the expectation that, if you don't **** it up, you get married. I dated several men before my husband, with every intention of getting married, it's just a given - but the relationship ended for various reasons. So that's our version of dating.

But to say "I can't have a relationship right now. So lets have one?" just makes no sense for me. LOL

 

[Hacker]

Yeah, it's different here.

I know my preference is for a man to be dominant in daily life. I like to be taken care of in that way. I like having my jacket handed to me, I like being asked after every bite at a restaurant, "Does it takes okay? Do you have enough spices?", etc.

I like being domestic in some ways. When we have friends over for dinner, and we're done eating, here the women get up, take away the dishes, bring the men their coffee and cigars, and leave. And we'll usually go out on the balcony with our coffee and cigarettes, and I just look at my husband and feel so proud, so you? I like... when he asks where his shirt is, I like that I know and he doesn't. And I like the way he looks at me when I do something for him, or when I look especially nice.

I think, in my head, these things are romantic. And maybe they're old-fashioned in the West, but it's how I prefer it. I like having my doors opened for me, I like how he shows me off when we're out at parties and things and how constantly concerned he is with my comfort.

And if that means I eat what he orders, and I sun tan in my bikini on the back lawn instead of front now, and I do the dishes at night instead of first thing in the morning - that's fine with me. Even though it's not obvious, I am in charge when I want to me. If I feel strongly about something, I always win - that's part of the dinamic of our relationships.

So, I don't know. I suppose it's just drilled into you at birth.

Oh yes, being conditioned from birth is definitely a big thing.

Well, it doesn't sound all that bad actually, I mean I guess it is the old traditional role of a woman that goes way back to hundreds of years ago. See my husband cleans half of the house and so do I. But I ALWAYS do the laundry, dust, dishes, and clean the bathroom. So it's kinda like 50/50. And as you know, many American women AND men work these days even if they have children which must be difficult for the children. That's why I waited till my daughter was a lil older. Very interesting what you mentioned though.

 

[kreeden]

Him ordering for her, him telling her more or less what she can and cant do (even though those orders are given politely, and not really all that strict). Bosnian women, we don't mind it because we expect doors opened for us, we expect not to pay for dinner, we expect all these things that we must be willing to trade something for.

Why ? Can't a man be polite without treating a woman like a child ? Sorry , I'm being a bit of an ogre , but hey .... lol

But I do understand what you are saying Djamila . And quite frankly I couldn't handle a woman like that . I have actually told women that I am not ordering for them . It has to do with cultural ideas on pride and respect , IMHO . So I have no doubt that you are correct on that account .

 

[Djamila]

Why ? Can't a man be polite without treating a woman like a child ? Sorry , I'm being a bit of an ogre , but hey .... lol

But I do understand what you are saying Djamila . And quite frankly I couldn't handle a woman like that . I have actually told women that I am not ordering for them . It has to do with cultural ideas on pride and respect , IMHO . So I have no doubt that you are correct on that account .

Wow! I never actually thought of the man's preference in any of this! Hahaha. I just figured men would take as much as they could get, and women decided.