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Rival

Si m'ait Dieus
Staff member
Premium Member
Thanks for the reply Rival. I definitely understand where you're coming from. But a lot of my life has been spent suppressing and praying against my feelings so that I could try to accept more fully what others were telling me was true, never realizing that feelings are information from my body and soul to my mind. Only once I started grappling with those feelings was I able to realize that I didn't believe that the evangelical Christian version of "truth" was actually true. So for me, finding something my feelings resonate with and finding something that my heart can accept as true are very similar pursuits.
Thanks for your response. In truth, we are very different people then. Good luck with your journey :)
 

littlefire

You can call me Fio
I grew up in a home with parents who were and still are very devote Christians (Lutheran) of the bible thumping, sulphur breathing, hell and damnation, don't do anything without opening your bible, preferably old testament, and grabbing a quote, kind.
Bless you, friend. #mylifetho

By the time I was in grade 10 I had pretty much figured out the absurdity of religion in general and their kind in particular, and I was pretty vocal about my realizations and thoughts.
Part of me wishes I had gotten to that place that young, but part of me is glad that I stayed with it if only to share my experiences on the inside with others. Since I was homeschooled from birth up, that realization came later for me and being vocal has never really been an option.

That was half a century ago. For the first decades it resulted in a pretty frosty relationship with my parents while for the past decade or so I have been officially 'shunned'. a barbaric religious practice where one family member is officially 'exiled', disinherited, never spoken to or heard from
I am so so sorry. That must be horrible :( I'll see if I'll be joining you in that after I come out......

Obviously the lack of any religious affiliation as well as the lack of meaningful family relationships created a void that cried out to be filled. For me I filled the void with an active form of spirituality entailing being in close contact with nature. I lived in a coastal town and got myself a boat, on days off I'd be up at sunrise, head out onto the ocean, and pass the day fishing and taking photographs. I'd go for weekend hikes in the high mountains, always alone, sleeping in a pup tent and observing every creature I passed along the way. These were habits that I have followed for the past 50 years, though the mountain hikes have been replaced with walks along the oceanfront seawall here in Vancouver.
This form of active spirituality through a close embrace of nature definitely filled the void for me and still does. Sometimes I get the urge for some intellectual stimulation, and besides reading posts here at RF I'll attend meetings of my local Humanist Society group, an international movement that has chapters in most cities.
Intellectually I've long since come to terms with the fact that there is no heaven or no hell, besides what we create for ourselves here on Earth. So in other words, make the best of the time one is allotted on this planet, do good for the sake of it not to earn karma, avoid harming others, not because you don't want to be reincarnated as a worm but because it is the right thing to do.
I'd say that following that path and those guidelines I have had and still have a pretty wonderful life, which I never would have wanted to exchange for that of my other siblings who either chose to suck up to my parents in order to cull favour, or pretend to do so.
Anyway, that worked for me as a way of creating a meaningful life without the intrusion of organized religion.
I am so so glad this has worked for you! I think, like you, I would struggle with lack of community and intellectual stimulation (I am an academic as far as the day is long).

Thank you so much for sharing :) <3
 

The Emperor of Mankind

Currently the galaxy's spookiest paraplegic
Hello RF buddies,

I'm in a weird spiritual time right now and could use some input. I was raised Southern Baptist (in a sort of extreme and isolated way), but years of religious and emotional abuse, in addition to me going to a secular college and realizing that some of my beliefs were hurtful towards others, has caused me to shed Christianity. It's weird for me being in this place because pre-college, Christianity and biblical literalism were my life. I've memorized over 3000 Scriptures and took everything so seriously, but I was so depressed and so scared, and the negative effect it was having on my mental health forced me to show it the door about 9 months ago. (I still struggle with depression, but at least I don't regularly feel like God is going to strike me with lightning when I least expect it).

I still consider myself a deeply spiritual person, and still have times when I feel connected to the sky, the land, the water, other people.... the little "mantra" keeping me going right now is "the divine in me sees the divine in you." This statement is incredibly meaningful to me and essentially sums up my beliefs right now: universalism, connection with nature (and energies and past inhabitants of the land), some type of spirit in all things (not really pantheism)...and love, understanding, and fullness as the point of existence.

Where I'm struggling right now is that after spending my entire life connected to a (very niche) religious system, I don't have a religious home. I deeply appreciate the wisdom in virtually every religion I've encountered. I went to a Quaker meeting for a while, but something about it wasn't working for me...I think it was that the expectation of physically hearing from God during the course of an hour in silence seemed a little overambitious....

The problems are that I want to stay open to new beliefs and new information (my life has changed so much in the past few years that any expectation of consistency seems ludicrous) and don't want to feel tied down to a dogma or set of regulations that I have to stress over again (I'd actually consider religious regulations triggering for me....I've been reading Pirke Avot just to learn more about Judaism and the Talmud but have had to stop and take breathers so many times because I'll find myself shaking with anxiety in the middle of it). But having a religious community is something that I really, really miss. I think my ideal community would be some type of interfaith group where people came together just to connect with each other, with the divine, with nature through environmental justice, and with their communities through social justice and activism...but if anything's overambitious, it's that.

Cursory introductions I've received to Druidry and to De'anism and other forms of Goddess spirituality have been extremely healing for me (I'm reading "Dancing with Nemetona" and it's soooo beautiful), but I'm scared that I'm understanding them incorrectly and that I'd be better off avoiding the spiritual altogether to avoid angering any people or Gods. But that's the anxiety talking.

All that to say, I am really not sure where to go from here. I really want to look more into Druidry and Goddess spirituality but I'm scared of running into another set of dogmatic expectations and am just as scared of the consequences of making my spirituality my own in a "build a spirituality" type way because of my fear of doing things wrong and bringing some type of physical or spiritual damnation to myself and/or others. There's also the fact that I could NEVER consider a religion I espouse the end-all-be-all or "more right" than someone else's, because we're all just trying our best to cope with reality and be our best each day.

So, should I be looking for a new religion or a personal spirituality, or both? If anyone involved in Druidry/De'anism/Filianism/Goddess-based religions and spiritualities has any insight, that would be particularly beneficial. Maybe what I need is just reassurance.

Thanks for reading this crazy backstory of nonsense. I really appreciate y'all's time and wisdom. :) I see the divine in all of you <3

-littlefire

Hey, littlefire, welcome to our little corner of the intratubez :)

From the looks of things you'd be right at home in the Neopagan or Revival Religions DIR as what you seem to be looking for would fit neatly under the category of Paganism.
 

littlefire

You can call me Fio
Hey, littlefire, welcome to our little corner of the intratubez :)

From the looks of things you'd be right at home in the Neopagan or Revival Religions DIR as what you seem to be looking for would fit neatly under the category of Paganism.
Thanks! Oooo interesting. I do like a lot of aspects of Paganism. I'm not allowed to post in the DIR's though, correct? I've been stalking all of them pretty heavily haha
 

sealchan

Well-Known Member
I think that you may do well to stay away from whatever is triggering you. There are many books and of course this forum allows you to participate and socialize to a degree entirely on your terms.

One other path which is custom tailored to the individual is to keep a dream journal. As strange as dreams are to most people you will find that taken at face value they represent a personal spiritual epic of sorts. They reflect your perspective and yet offer a sometimes challenging alternative perspective on your psyche.
Of course you may find that some of your triggers will occur here in the form of dream content. But this also gives you an opportunity to reflect on them mainly on your own terms.

Also, have you considered therapy? Any time someone has been trapped in a restrictive environment for a long time, it may benefit them to explore that with a professional who can help you find the triggers and learn how to manage them.
 

The Emperor of Mankind

Currently the galaxy's spookiest paraplegic
Thanks! Oooo interesting. I do like a lot of aspects of Paganism. I'm not allowed to post in the DIR's though, correct? I've been stalking all of them pretty heavily haha

You're restricted to respectful questions only until you change that religion field of yours ;) but DIR stalking is welcome as it harms nobody and helps you become better informed.
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Thanks for reading this crazy backstory of nonsense. I really appreciate y'all's time and wisdom. :) I see the divine in all of you

It's hardly "nonsense" - it is only by asking questions that you will find an answer!

I see the divine in you too :)

If you are unhappy with rigid dogma, try Buddhism - works for me!

Here's a site you may enjoy -

Articles

Wishing you all the best!
 

David T

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Hello RF buddies,

I'm in a weird spiritual time right now and could use some input. I was raised Southern Baptist (in a sort of extreme and isolated way), but years of religious and emotional abuse, in addition to me going to a secular college and realizing that some of my beliefs were hurtful towards others, has caused me to shed Christianity. It's weird for me being in this place because pre-college, Christianity and biblical literalism were my life. I've memorized over 3000 Scriptures and took everything so seriously, but I was so depressed and so scared, and the negative effect it was having on my mental health forced me to show it the door about 9 months ago. (I still struggle with depression, but at least I don't regularly feel like God is going to strike me with lightning when I least expect it).

I still consider myself a deeply spiritual person, and still have times when I feel connected to the sky, the land, the water, other people.... the little "mantra" keeping me going right now is "the divine in me sees the divine in you." This statement is incredibly meaningful to me and essentially sums up my beliefs right now: universalism, connection with nature (and energies and past inhabitants of the land), some type of spirit in all things (not really pantheism)...and love, understanding, and fullness as the point of existence.

Where I'm struggling right now is that after spending my entire life connected to a (very niche) religious system, I don't have a religious home. I deeply appreciate the wisdom in virtually every religion I've encountered. I went to a Quaker meeting for a while, but something about it wasn't working for me...I think it was that the expectation of physically hearing from God during the course of an hour in silence seemed a little overambitious....

The problems are that I want to stay open to new beliefs and new information (my life has changed so much in the past few years that any expectation of consistency seems ludicrous) and don't want to feel tied down to a dogma or set of regulations that I have to stress over again (I'd actually consider religious regulations triggering for me....I've been reading Pirke Avot just to learn more about Judaism and the Talmud but have had to stop and take breathers so many times because I'll find myself shaking with anxiety in the middle of it). But having a religious community is something that I really, really miss. I think my ideal community would be some type of interfaith group where people came together just to connect with each other, with the divine, with nature through environmental justice, and with their communities through social justice and activism...but if anything's overambitious, it's that.

Cursory introductions I've received to Druidry and to De'anism and other forms of Goddess spirituality have been extremely healing for me (I'm reading "Dancing with Nemetona" and it's soooo beautiful), but I'm scared that I'm understanding them incorrectly and that I'd be better off avoiding the spiritual altogether to avoid angering any people or Gods. But that's the anxiety talking.

All that to say, I am really not sure where to go from here. I really want to look more into Druidry and Goddess spirituality but I'm scared of running into another set of dogmatic expectations and am just as scared of the consequences of making my spirituality my own in a "build a spirituality" type way because of my fear of doing things wrong and bringing some type of physical or spiritual damnation to myself and/or others. There's also the fact that I could NEVER consider a religion I espouse the end-all-be-all or "more right" than someone else's, because we're all just trying our best to cope with reality and be our best each day.

So, should I be looking for a new religion or a personal spirituality, or both? If anyone involved in Druidry/De'anism/Filianism/Goddess-based religions and spiritualities has any insight, that would be particularly beneficial. Maybe what I need is just reassurance.

Thanks for reading this crazy backstory of nonsense. I really appreciate y'all's time and wisdom. :) I see the divine in all of you <3

-littlefire
You already have a home it's out in the landscape. Read muir, he was raised in an extremely harsh religious household it never stopped him. The landscape is the church of all religions and denominations, are you seeking a box? Sometimes, one has to teach, not sit in the pew. I go to visit box church occasionally but it's a poor substitute for that direct teaching the trees give on a sunny glorious day!! Channeling my inner Muir badly. Be a sheep dog, and keep an eye on the flock, especially the Shepards they are generally a tiny bit confused. But if you want to be a sheep in the flock well you will have to abandon the landscape. If you want to be a fish then you will have to abandon the shores as a fisherman, and go hang out with the fish pretending to be fishermen! Don't abandon mother nature, for a box, destroy the box, and being the flock to mother nature!! St Francis of Assisi already said it always preach the gospel and at last resort use words! He preached evolution everything is interconnected he correctly called it "family of god". Be ok with wierd. Peace.
 

littlefire

You can call me Fio
It's hardly "nonsense" - it is only by asking questions that you will find an answer!

I see the divine in you too :)

If you are unhappy with rigid dogma, try Buddhism - works for me!

Here's a site you may enjoy -

Articles

Wishing you all the best!
Aw thank you so much! I really appreciate all the resources people have been posting.
 

littlefire

You can call me Fio
I think that you may do well to stay away from whatever is triggering you. There are many books and of course this forum allows you to participate and socialize to a degree entirely on your terms.

One other path which is custom tailored to the individual is to keep a dream journal. As strange as dreams are to most people you will find that taken at face value they represent a personal spiritual epic of sorts. They reflect your perspective and yet offer a sometimes challenging alternative perspective on your psyche.
Of course you may find that some of your triggers will occur here in the form of dream content. But this also gives you an opportunity to reflect on them mainly on your own terms.

Also, have you considered therapy? Any time someone has been trapped in a restrictive environment for a long time, it may benefit them to explore that with a professional who can help you find the triggers and learn how to manage them.
Yup I avoid most churches and evangelicals as much as possible so I don't have meltdown panic attacks. My mental health journey has been long and strange and for the last two years has involved weekly therapy. I've never really kept track of my dreams before. A lot of triggering things does come up in them though. Usually my worst fears come true in them or I feel really depressed in my dreams and wake up depressed.....it kinda sucks actually. If that's my spiritual epic, that's a bit dismal haha.
 

Ben Dhyan

Veteran Member
Hello RF buddies,

I'm in a weird spiritual time right now and could use some input. I was raised Southern Baptist (in a sort of extreme and isolated way), but years of religious and emotional abuse, in addition to me going to a secular college and realizing that some of my beliefs were hurtful towards others, has caused me to shed Christianity. It's weird for me being in this place because pre-college, Christianity and biblical literalism were my life. I've memorized over 3000 Scriptures and took everything so seriously, but I was so depressed and so scared, and the negative effect it was having on my mental health forced me to show it the door about 9 months ago. (I still struggle with depression, but at least I don't regularly feel like God is going to strike me with lightning when I least expect it).

I still consider myself a deeply spiritual person, and still have times when I feel connected to the sky, the land, the water, other people.... the little "mantra" keeping me going right now is "the divine in me sees the divine in you." This statement is incredibly meaningful to me and essentially sums up my beliefs right now: universalism, connection with nature (and energies and past inhabitants of the land), some type of spirit in all things (not really pantheism)...and love, understanding, and fullness as the point of existence.

Where I'm struggling right now is that after spending my entire life connected to a (very niche) religious system, I don't have a religious home. I deeply appreciate the wisdom in virtually every religion I've encountered. I went to a Quaker meeting for a while, but something about it wasn't working for me...I think it was that the expectation of physically hearing from God during the course of an hour in silence seemed a little overambitious....

The problems are that I want to stay open to new beliefs and new information (my life has changed so much in the past few years that any expectation of consistency seems ludicrous) and don't want to feel tied down to a dogma or set of regulations that I have to stress over again (I'd actually consider religious regulations triggering for me....I've been reading Pirke Avot just to learn more about Judaism and the Talmud but have had to stop and take breathers so many times because I'll find myself shaking with anxiety in the middle of it). But having a religious community is something that I really, really miss. I think my ideal community would be some type of interfaith group where people came together just to connect with each other, with the divine, with nature through environmental justice, and with their communities through social justice and activism...but if anything's overambitious, it's that.

Cursory introductions I've received to Druidry and to De'anism and other forms of Goddess spirituality have been extremely healing for me (I'm reading "Dancing with Nemetona" and it's soooo beautiful), but I'm scared that I'm understanding them incorrectly and that I'd be better off avoiding the spiritual altogether to avoid angering any people or Gods. But that's the anxiety talking.

All that to say, I am really not sure where to go from here. I really want to look more into Druidry and Goddess spirituality but I'm scared of running into another set of dogmatic expectations and am just as scared of the consequences of making my spirituality my own in a "build a spirituality" type way because of my fear of doing things wrong and bringing some type of physical or spiritual damnation to myself and/or others. There's also the fact that I could NEVER consider a religion I espouse the end-all-be-all or "more right" than someone else's, because we're all just trying our best to cope with reality and be our best each day.

So, should I be looking for a new religion or a personal spirituality, or both? If anyone involved in Druidry/De'anism/Filianism/Goddess-based religions and spiritualities has any insight, that would be particularly beneficial. Maybe what I need is just reassurance.

Thanks for reading this crazy backstory of nonsense. I really appreciate y'all's time and wisdom. :) I see the divine in all of you <3

-littlefire
You are looking away from where you need to be to realize spirituality, it is within. See how many times you referred to yourself as 'I' in your post, I this, i that, etc.. Find out what you are and when that has been accomplished, find out who you are?

The answers to these two questions are not verbal, so you will not find it in some book, though reading advice about how to go about realizing the totality of what and who you are can be of assistance. The one thing that can be said with certainty, it is an inner journey of self realization, where the apparent distance separating the seeker of the goal from the goal itself diminishes with progress, such that at actual realization, these two, seeker and goal, are no longer two things, but one...
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Aw thank you so much! I really appreciate all the resources people have been posting.

Glad to be of some small help!

There's also a great little site called Tiny Buddha - despite the name you don't really need 2 be a full-fledged Buddhist to benefit from it ... let me see if I can find the site that lists their best articles - I have found it quite useful -

Top 100 Tiny Buddha Articles – The Definitive Self Improvement Collection | Ajwalton

There is a section on overcoming negative emotions.

All the best!
 

Fool

ALL in all
Premium Member
Hello RF buddies,

I'm in a weird spiritual time right now and could use some input. I was raised Southern Baptist (in a sort of extreme and isolated way), but years of religious and emotional abuse, in addition to me going to a secular college and realizing that some of my beliefs were hurtful towards others, has caused me to shed Christianity. It's weird for me being in this place because pre-college, Christianity and biblical literalism were my life. I've memorized over 3000 Scriptures and took everything so seriously, but I was so depressed and so scared, and the negative effect it was having on my mental health forced me to show it the door about 9 months ago. (I still struggle with depression, but at least I don't regularly feel like God is going to strike me with lightning when I least expect it).

I still consider myself a deeply spiritual person, and still have times when I feel connected to the sky, the land, the water, other people.... the little "mantra" keeping me going right now is "the divine in me sees the divine in you." This statement is incredibly meaningful to me and essentially sums up my beliefs right now: universalism, connection with nature (and energies and past inhabitants of the land), some type of spirit in all things (not really pantheism)...and love, understanding, and fullness as the point of existence.

Where I'm struggling right now is that after spending my entire life connected to a (very niche) religious system, I don't have a religious home. I deeply appreciate the wisdom in virtually every religion I've encountered. I went to a Quaker meeting for a while, but something about it wasn't working for me...I think it was that the expectation of physically hearing from God during the course of an hour in silence seemed a little overambitious....

The problems are that I want to stay open to new beliefs and new information (my life has changed so much in the past few years that any expectation of consistency seems ludicrous) and don't want to feel tied down to a dogma or set of regulations that I have to stress over again (I'd actually consider religious regulations triggering for me....I've been reading Pirke Avot just to learn more about Judaism and the Talmud but have had to stop and take breathers so many times because I'll find myself shaking with anxiety in the middle of it). But having a religious community is something that I really, really miss. I think my ideal community would be some type of interfaith group where people came together just to connect with each other, with the divine, with nature through environmental justice, and with their communities through social justice and activism...but if anything's overambitious, it's that.

Cursory introductions I've received to Druidry and to De'anism and other forms of Goddess spirituality have been extremely healing for me (I'm reading "Dancing with Nemetona" and it's soooo beautiful), but I'm scared that I'm understanding them incorrectly and that I'd be better off avoiding the spiritual altogether to avoid angering any people or Gods. But that's the anxiety talking.

All that to say, I am really not sure where to go from here. I really want to look more into Druidry and Goddess spirituality but I'm scared of running into another set of dogmatic expectations and am just as scared of the consequences of making my spirituality my own in a "build a spirituality" type way because of my fear of doing things wrong and bringing some type of physical or spiritual damnation to myself and/or others. There's also the fact that I could NEVER consider a religion I espouse the end-all-be-all or "more right" than someone else's, because we're all just trying our best to cope with reality and be our best each day.

So, should I be looking for a new religion or a personal spirituality, or both? If anyone involved in Druidry/De'anism/Filianism/Goddess-based religions and spiritualities has any insight, that would be particularly beneficial. Maybe what I need is just reassurance.

Thanks for reading this crazy backstory of nonsense. I really appreciate y'all's time and wisdom. :) I see the divine in all of you <3

-littlefire


one who walks a path, or paths, doesn't have a specific home.


your body is the only permanent home you have upon this plane. it is your temple


Matthew 8:20
And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.

Luke 9:58
And Jesus said unto him, Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.


the Light and the Truth isn't exclusive to anyone, any religion, any culture, any time/space. it is right NOW. The truth is more than a religion.


Revelation 7:9
After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, and palms in their hands;
 

capumetu

Active Member
Jehovah said:

(Deuteronomy 30:19, 20) . . .I have put life and death before you, the blessing and the curse; and you must choose life so that you may live, you and your descendants, 20 by loving Jehovah your God, by listening to his voice, and by sticking to him, for he is your life. . .


Jesus said:

(Matthew 7:21) 21 “Not everyone saying to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter into the Kingdom of the heavens, but only the one doing the will of my Father who is in the heavens will. . .

It is great you have memorized over 3000 scriptures, so then you should be able to make an educated choice, will you serve Jehovah or not, life or death, your choice of course

capumetu @yours.com no space after u
 

A Maatian De'ani

New Member
Littlefire I am a De'anist if heterodox one. I have been involved within the Independent De'anic movement, not the Orthodox one almost from its beginning. Please tell me what your experience or understanding of it is. There is quite a bit of intellectual flexibility within Deanism and if one tries to the best of their ability to give worship and devotion to Dea, it would be hard to make any mistakes which would have some sort of frightening consequences. People commonly learn from their mistakes!

Glenn King
 

littlefire

You can call me Fio
Jehovah said:

(Deuteronomy 30:19, 20) . . .I have put life and death before you, the blessing and the curse; and you must choose life so that you may live, you and your descendants, 20 by loving Jehovah your God, by listening to his voice, and by sticking to him, for he is your life. . .


Jesus said:

(Matthew 7:21) 21 “Not everyone saying to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter into the Kingdom of the heavens, but only the one doing the will of my Father who is in the heavens will. . .

It is great you have memorized over 3000 scriptures, so then you should be able to make an educated choice, will you serve Jehovah or not, life or death, your choice of course

capumetu @yours.com no space after u
Unfortunately, it is this very mindset that has driven me away, but I understand where you're coming from and appreciate your concern.
 

littlefire

You can call me Fio
Littlefire I am a De'anist if heterodox one. I have been involved within the Independent De'anic movement, not the Orthodox one almost from its beginning. Please tell me what your experience or understanding of it is. There is quite a bit of intellectual flexibility within Deanism and if one tries to the best of their ability to give worship and devotion to Dea, it would be hard to make any mistakes which would have some sort of frightening consequences. People commonly learn from their mistakes!

Glenn King
Honestly, I've just started learning about it in the last few weeks. I like the idea of perceiving God as one, and as feminine, and all things being ultimately and currently reconciled to Her. Due to my background, I also appreciate that there are some Scriptures/readings to engage the intellect as well as the soul (But perhaps the Gospel of our Mother God is more Filianist? I'm not really clear on this point.) The websites and blogs I have come across have linked Dea to other Goddess archetypes and Goddesses of other traditions, like Kuan Yin, Amaterasu, and Isis, which I also find really insightful and helpful---if religion is supposed to make me a better person, I can't think of a better way to do that than respecting other traditions and gaining a global/far-historical perspective on reality. Focusing on aspects of God, in whatever conception, as feminine in the way it is culturally perceived makes God much more approachable and relatable to me, even though I identify as bigender (I'm not really a woman all the time....but I digress). The only thing that's been throwing me off so far is that characteristics of the feminine in some of the blogs I've run across are viewed as strictly biological and not socialized, which as someone with a, well, not exactly biologically-based gender, seems kind of exclusionary of people like me. (Honestly, a lot of religions, and most of the ones in power, are exclusionary of people like me, but I'd really love some room to exist and understand my own gender non-conformity).
What I've read so far has not clarified anything about whether De'anism includes a concept of sin, or how right/wrong (if that dichotomy even exists) is viewed.
 

A Maatian De'ani

New Member
Littlefire, You might look up the Tumblr blogs under De'anism or Deanism. Many of the newer members of the De'anic community have blogs there. I know that at least one blogger describes herself as being "non-binary." a word to be honest I had never heard of unto I read "their" post. I have since read up on it and now understand that "non-binary" is the self identity of those who do not see themselves as being either male or female in the traditional sense. Please note that I am a 66 year old man who only recently have been thinking about these things. Anyway I suspect that you would like many of these young mostly female bloggers.

The issue of the gender of Dea? Deanism is a religion which views Dea primarily as God the Mother but most De'ani also are Filianic and believe that God is Daughter as well. Since Deani are very much into iconography, yes, the icons that they use and share on line are images based on the human woman's form. However the De'anic scriptures constantly refer to Dea as spirit and the religion does not view Dea as having a material biological nature in the same way as does a human biological woman. Some say that Dea is to be viewed as feminine as having the qualities that are traditionally viewed as feminine as opposed to being female. There are other perspectives as well.

The main point for me is that Deani as a community and individually view Dea as feminine / female and some believe that the male exists within Dea as well. De'ani believe that Dea is God. As God she is all that God is to Christians or Allah is to Muslims without what we would view as the negative baggage of those religions. Being God she is simply beyond our human conception. As a result we can not simply apply our small biologically based conceptions to her. I would suggest that you might want to read her scriptures, read the blogs of believers, but also struggle to think about her in your own way. That of course is if you want to explore De'anism further

Note. De'anism very clearly does have an ethic of right and wrong. The wrong within De'anism that which divides humanity from Dea is viewed as "kear."

Glenn
 

Aštra’el

Aštara, Blade of Aštoreth
Both neither. Just follow what makes you happy. I sincerely doubt God or Goddesses... ...would punish you or others just because you get something wrong. Unless they have a short temper I suppose.

"And Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took either of them his censer, and put fire therein, and put incense thereon, and offered strange fire before the LORD, which he commanded them not. And there went out fire from the LORD, and devoured them, and they died before the LORD."

Leviticus 10:1-2

The Old Testament is absolutely awesome

 
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Midget01

Member
Hello RF buddies,

I'm in a weird spiritual time right now and could use some input. I was raised Southern Baptist (in a sort of extreme and isolated way), but years of religious and emotional abuse, in addition to me going to a secular college and realizing that some of my beliefs were hurtful towards others, has caused me to shed Christianity. It's weird for me being in this place because pre-college, Christianity and biblical literalism were my life. I've memorized over 3000 Scriptures and took everything so seriously, but I was so depressed and so scared, and the negative effect it was having on my mental health forced me to show it the door about 9 months ago. (I still struggle with depression, but at least I don't regularly feel like God is going to strike me with lightning when I least expect it).

I still consider myself a deeply spiritual person, and still have times when I feel connected to the sky, the land, the water, other people.... the little "mantra" keeping me going right now is "the divine in me sees the divine in you." This statement is incredibly meaningful to me and essentially sums up my beliefs right now: universalism, connection with nature (and energies and past inhabitants of the land), some type of spirit in all things (not really pantheism)...and love, understanding, and fullness as the point of existence.

Where I'm struggling right now is that after spending my entire life connected to a (very niche) religious system, I don't have a religious home. I deeply appreciate the wisdom in virtually every religion I've encountered. I went to a Quaker meeting for a while, but something about it wasn't working for me...I think it was that the expectation of physically hearing from God during the course of an hour in silence seemed a little overambitious....

The problems are that I want to stay open to new beliefs and new information (my life has changed so much in the past few years that any expectation of consistency seems ludicrous) and don't want to feel tied down to a dogma or set of regulations that I have to stress over again (I'd actually consider religious regulations triggering for me....I've been reading Pirke Avot just to learn more about Judaism and the Talmud but have had to stop and take breathers so many times because I'll find myself shaking with anxiety in the middle of it). But having a religious community is something that I really, really miss. I think my ideal community would be some type of interfaith group where people came together just to connect with each other, with the divine, with nature through environmental justice, and with their communities through social justice and activism...but if anything's overambitious, it's that.

Cursory introductions I've received to Druidry and to De'anism and other forms of Goddess spirituality have been extremely healing for me (I'm reading "Dancing with Nemetona" and it's soooo beautiful), but I'm scared that I'm understanding them incorrectly and that I'd be better off avoiding the spiritual altogether to avoid angering any people or Gods. But that's the anxiety talking.

All that to say, I am really not sure where to go from here. I really want to look more into Druidry and Goddess spirituality but I'm scared of running into another set of dogmatic expectations and am just as scared of the consequences of making my spirituality my own in a "build a spirituality" type way because of my fear of doing things wrong and bringing some type of physical or spiritual damnation to myself and/or others. There's also the fact that I could NEVER consider a religion I espouse the end-all-be-all or "more right" than someone else's, because we're all just trying our best to cope with reality and be our best each day.

So, should I be looking for a new religion or a personal spirituality, or both? If anyone involved in Druidry/De'anism/Filianism/Goddess-based religions and spiritualities has any insight, that would be particularly beneficial. Maybe what I need is just reassurance.

Thanks for reading this crazy backstory of nonsense. I really appreciate y'all's time and wisdom. :) I see the divine in all of you <3

-littlefire
I hope you are still seeing a counselor. Because God is not doing this too you. God gives you free will but He doesn't control you. God didn't create puppets. People can get off in wrong tangents when they read and interpret scripture on their own. Bibles studies are good way to group not because there might be an expert in the group but God talks through 2 or 3 people and He can help guide the group. I for one don't see a need
Hello RF buddies,

I'm in a weird spiritual time right now and could use some input. I was raised Southern Baptist (in a sort of extreme and isolated way), but years of religious and emotional abuse, in addition to me going to a secular college and realizing that some of my beliefs were hurtful towards others, has caused me to shed Christianity. It's weird for me being in this place because pre-college, Christianity and biblical literalism were my life. I've memorized over 3000 Scriptures and took everything so seriously, but I was so depressed and so scared, and the negative effect it was having on my mental health forced me to show it the door about 9 months ago. (I still struggle with depression, but at least I don't regularly feel like God is going to strike me with lightning when I least expect it).

I still consider myself a deeply spiritual person, and still have times when I feel connected to the sky, the land, the water, other people.... the little "mantra" keeping me going right now is "the divine in me sees the divine in you." This statement is incredibly meaningful to me and essentially sums up my beliefs right now: universalism, connection with nature (and energies and past inhabitants of the land), some type of spirit in all things (not really pantheism)...and love, understanding, and fullness as the point of existence.

Where I'm struggling right now is that after spending my entire life connected to a (very niche) religious system, I don't have a religious home. I deeply appreciate the wisdom in virtually every religion I've encountered. I went to a Quaker meeting for a while, but something about it wasn't working for me...I think it was that the expectation of physically hearing from God during the course of an hour in silence seemed a little overambitious....

The problems are that I want to stay open to new beliefs and new information (my life has changed so much in the past few years that any expectation of consistency seems ludicrous) and don't want to feel tied down to a dogma or set of regulations that I have to stress over again (I'd actually consider religious regulations triggering for me....I've been reading Pirke Avot just to learn more about Judaism and the Talmud but have had to stop and take breathers so many times because I'll find myself shaking with anxiety in the middle of it). But having a religious community is something that I really, really miss. I think my ideal community would be some type of interfaith group where people came together just to connect with each other, with the divine, with nature through environmental justice, and with their communities through social justice and activism...but if anything's overambitious, it's that.

Cursory introductions I've received to Druidry and to De'anism and other forms of Goddess spirituality have been extremely healing for me (I'm reading "Dancing with Nemetona" and it's soooo beautiful), but I'm scared that I'm understanding them incorrectly and that I'd be better off avoiding the spiritual altogether to avoid angering any people or Gods. But that's the anxiety talking.

All that to say, I am really not sure where to go from here. I really want to look more into Druidry and Goddess spirituality but I'm scared of running into another set of dogmatic expectations and am just as scared of the consequences of making my spirituality my own in a "build a spirituality" type way because of my fear of doing things wrong and bringing some type of physical or spiritual damnation to myself and/or others. There's also the fact that I could NEVER consider a religion I espouse the end-all-be-all or "more right" than someone else's, because we're all just trying our best to cope with reality and be our best each day.

So, should I be looking for a new religion or a personal spirituality, or both? If anyone involved in Druidry/De'anism/Filianism/Goddess-based religions and spiritualities has any insight, that would be particularly beneficial. Maybe what I need is just reassurance.

Thanks for reading this crazy backstory of nonsense. I really appreciate y'all's time and wisdom. :) I see the divine in all of you <3

-littlefire

First of all I see no reason to see Religion and Spirituality as a separate practice. One leads and guides the other. Perhaps instead of memorizing and trying to act like you are in control why not pray and put the readings you have covered into practice during the week. While doing this seek out the God you are looking for. Spirituality is not about just making us feel good and High on a mountain. It can happen from time to time but that is not the reason for looking inward and trying to locate t he God connection. If you are trying to connect with another Spirit that would be opposed to what the bible is addressing and in those circumstances you will go crazy trying to find that type of Spirit. I suggest you begin by asking yourself just what is it you are seeking ? God or your own inner joy? When you are honest and truly begin to start the journey start by reading books that can lead you to a deeper understanding of yourself and God. God doesn't expect all of us to be scholars but He does expect us to follow His laws and to love Him and Our Neighbor. Read the Fathers of the Church, Read the Didache and see how the Early members sought God in their lives. Church didn't start in 1970, nor did it begin with a Human Being It began with God and was redeemed by Christ who died for you. It is kept alive through the Holy Spirit who keeps it going today. We are in the time of Lent right now. It is a time of reflection and rebuilding. So it is an appropriate time to start a new. Pick up your pieces like a broken pot and let God renew and rebuild. The Poem : "The Potter's Kiss" is a wonderful poem to help you gather you thoughts in a better direction. When you are ready find a place of quiet light a candle if that helps to center you. Ask God to guide you on your new journey. Sit silently listening for anything that God might send .Sometimes just being silently will help others times continue praying or read a few pages of a book or perhaps read that poem and see how the Potter reaches out to you. DOn't focus on time or what is or is not happening. Just let it be. If you do t his on a regular basis at a regular time that works for you. I suggest yo don't try this when you know you have to leave in 10 minutes etc. Don't rush- d doesn't operate in time. We do. If you find time is hard and so is being still just practice praying and being still at the same time everyday after while you will begin to miss this private time with Christ.If it helps you to center put a statue or a picture of Him in your space and this will help you focus more.

I can't understand what your purpose of memorizing is if you don't learn to put them into practice like St. James talks about. Perhaps read that book. I will pray for you. God works in and through us if you trust and allow Him to do so. Midget01
 
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