Alternative relationships

[Riders]

By alternative, I am speaking of those of us who date on a friendship level and have a playmate instead of someone we will marry.

I have had 2 one ft hem ended up being with me 2 and half years, was an alcoholic and sex addict and introduced me to the polyamory lifestyle and the idea of going to swinger parties and private porn parties. Because we had all that involved and a few other reasons it didn't work out, but in the beginning it did. We called it cuddling buddies. I had another guy named Mitch whom was a really nice guy but had physical issues and we did it for 4 months but only got together 4 times, he was really nice and it was a nice situation.

As a 52-year-old woman I run into single men my age not very much they are hard to find. When i do find them many are divorced and do not want to get married but do wany an activity partner.

My guy friend on ok wants to do things like go to the movies together, maybe go to some restaurants see some shipping centers. But we also want to be cuddling buddies, heavy petting without intercourse, handjobs etc.

There is a lot of Christians these days who do this and do not tell the church.

I can not be involved with bDSM, porn, Polyamory or swingers, so if he wants to be involved with that hed have to by himself.

12 Step programs look down on relationship situations unless its a serious long term relationship to either get married or live together. This would be a long term deal, but not to live together nor get married.

Some people call these situations a F-ing partner some cuddling partner, and some an activity partner.

Any opinions? This guy says he is monogomous though it would just be me and him.

WHat do you do if your 55 and divorced and have a bad romantic past but do not want to be alone?

 

[Galateasdream]

My only opinion is to do whatever works for you.

I don't really understand relationships all that well, and have no personal interest in such things, but I totally understand not wanting to be lonely. I also appreciate that it must be very difficult finding what you want, or at least some approximation of it.

All I can say is that I wish you the best.

 

[exchemist]

By alternative, I am speaking of those of us who date on a friendship level and have a playmate instead of someone we will marry.

I have had 2 one ft hem ended up being with me 2 and half years, was an alcoholic and sex addict and introduced me to the polyamory lifestyle and the idea of going to swinger parties and private porn parties. Because we had all that involved and a few other reasons it didn't work out, but in the beginning it did. We called it cuddling buddies. I had another guy named Mitch whom was a really nice guy but had physical issues and we did it for 4 months but only got together 4 times, he was really nice and it was a nice situation.

As a 52-year-old woman I run into single men my age not very much they are hard to find. When i do find them many are divorced and do not want to get married but do wany an activity partner.

My guy friend on ok wants to do things like go to the movies together, maybe go to some restaurants see some shipping centers. But we also want to be cuddling buddies, heavy petting without intercourse, handjobs etc.

There is a lot of Christians these days who do this and do not tell the church.

I can not be involved with bDSM, porn, Polyamory or swingers, so if he wants to be involved with that hed have to by himself.

12 Step programs look down on relationship situations unless its a serious long term relationship to either get married or live together. This would be a long term deal, but not to live together nor get married.

Some people call these situations a F-ing partner some cuddling partner, and some an activity partner.

Any opinions? This guy says he is monogomous though it would just be me and him.

WHat do you do if your 55 and divorced and have a bad romantic past but do not want to be alone?

Well I'm 65 and a widower. I am lucky enough to enjoy the friendship of a very nice widow ( 20 years my junior, ahem) who is also a choral singer and who like me has a child to bring up.

But I do NOT intend, at my age, to embark on a serious romance or a sexual relationship. I simply think I'm past all that: it would end in disappointment and complications. Sex often gets in the way, rather. (Also, I think she ought to find someone her own age for that, rather than getting tied to someone who will conk out long before she does.) For me, some occasional companionship is enough.

But you are 10 years younger and perhaps not yet ready to hang up your boots on the sexual front.

 

[PureX]

By alternative, I am speaking of those of us who date on a friendship level and have a playmate instead of someone we will marry.

I have had 2 one ft hem ended up being with me 2 and half years, was an alcoholic and sex addict and introduced me to the polyamory lifestyle and the idea of going to swinger parties and private porn parties. Because we had all that involved and a few other reasons it didn't work out, but in the beginning it did. We called it cuddling buddies. I had another guy named Mitch whom was a really nice guy but had physical issues and we did it for 4 months but only got together 4 times, he was really nice and it was a nice situation.

As a 52-year-old woman I run into single men my age not very much they are hard to find. When i do find them many are divorced and do not want to get married but do wany an activity partner.

My guy friend on ok wants to do things like go to the movies together, maybe go to some restaurants see some shipping centers. But we also want to be cuddling buddies, heavy petting without intercourse, handjobs etc.

There is a lot of Christians these days who do this and do not tell the church.

I can not be involved with bDSM, porn, Polyamory or swingers, so if he wants to be involved with that hed have to by himself.

12 Step programs look down on relationship situations unless its a serious long term relationship to either get married or live together. This would be a long term deal, but not to live together nor get married.

Some people call these situations a F-ing partner some cuddling partner, and some an activity partner.

Any opinions? This guy says he is monogomous though it would just be me and him.

WHat do you do if your 55 and divorced and have a bad romantic past but do not want to be alone?

I think that unless you are OK with being alone, a lot, you're going to have to find a way to make relationships work without being drawn into the addictive aspects of it. Sort of like people who are addicted to eating, have to do. Perhaps a place to start would be to write out some very specific things that you would want from a relationship, and some very specific things that you cannot accept in a relationship. Then, instead of using these to 'lay down the law' to a prospective partner, just take the relationship one day, and one interaction at a time. "Go easy, and step lightly", as they say. But mind your own boundaries. And within those, try to be as much a giver as a receiver.

My experience with AA was not to avoid sex or relationships, or seek marriage, but to learn how to conduct ourselves in these instances with both our own well-being, and the well-being of the other person, held in mind.

 

[Twilight Hue]

By alternative, I am speaking of those of us who date on a friendship level and have a playmate instead of someone we will marry.

I have had 2 one ft hem ended up being with me 2 and half years, was an alcoholic and sex addict and introduced me to the polyamory lifestyle and the idea of going to swinger parties and private porn parties. Because we had all that involved and a few other reasons it didn't work out, but in the beginning it did. We called it cuddling buddies. I had another guy named Mitch whom was a really nice guy but had physical issues and we did it for 4 months but only got together 4 times, he was really nice and it was a nice situation.

As a 52-year-old woman I run into single men my age not very much they are hard to find. When i do find them many are divorced and do not want to get married but do wany an activity partner.

My guy friend on ok wants to do things like go to the movies together, maybe go to some restaurants see some shipping centers. But we also want to be cuddling buddies, heavy petting without intercourse, handjobs etc.

There is a lot of Christians these days who do this and do not tell the church.

I can not be involved with bDSM, porn, Polyamory or swingers, so if he wants to be involved with that hed have to by himself.

12 Step programs look down on relationship situations unless its a serious long term relationship to either get married or live together. This would be a long term deal, but not to live together nor get married.

Some people call these situations a F-ing partner some cuddling partner, and some an activity partner.

Any opinions? This guy says he is monogomous though it would just be me and him.

WHat do you do if your 55 and divorced and have a bad romantic past but do not want to be alone?

The way I see it you only live once in this life. As long as you're careful , be honest and take reasonable precautions, I don't see why it would be such a huge issue with people. While it may not be for everybody it is definitely for some and one group shouldn't make another group feel bad about it. Different strokes for different folks.

 

[Riders]

The Christian church does not believe in it. But personally I think a lot of Christians do it and do not tell people at church or their pastor.

 

[Riders]

Well my guy friend started pushing me to do more sexual stuff then I am capable of and I decided on my own I do not need to be in a physical relationship yet. But I do think my sponsor has a bad attitude towards folks in our program who choose a physical relationship without being married or in a committed long term relationship where people intend to live together.

I think many folks in SAA look down on it but some do not, I talked about this last night at the meeting with a guy named Rueben after the meeting who said he was on my side. Most of my issues were with porn and Second Life virtual reality game and masturbation and phone sex and internet sex not with face to face partners.

I think f your not addicted to having recreational sex or sex with strangers even it should not be off-limits though I would not want to do it with a stranger.

If your not addicted to it why refrain from it? It's because most folks in SAA think it's amoral. But its a recovery program for addiction not a morality class.

 

[Riders]

However I have a 72-year-old man who wants to take me to lunch for friendship, I do not believe he's interested in sex, we are supposed to have a book club with each other so.