Alone

[Enoch07]

No, I hate it and it's just breeding resentment in me towards others. I lived with my mom for my whole life until she died a few years ago and now I'm alone. I always wanted friends but can't seem to make any here that last or where people want to hang out with me or acknowledge my existence. I could die and no one would know.

I have this fear as well.

I could die at home. And nobody would even know to come check on me until a week later when I don't show up for work.

It's a real fear, I feel ya.

It's not much but you can always shoot the p00p with me on hear brotha!

 

[Curious George]

So my chosen lifestyle pretty much means I do stuff by myself.

I walked into a restaurant last Sunday and since there were no counter seats available, I gave my name. When a place finally opened, the hostess said, Scott - party of one. I got a few chuckles when I got up and said, "And quite a memorable party it shall be."

I occasionally get odd looks when I dine alone or go to a theater alone. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, but it does leave me to wonder what others are thinking when they pass their judgment. What are you thinking when you see someone living in solitude?

I think it is unremarkable when people dine alone or go to the movies alone. Though I do not think I could justify paying movie theatre prices alone. I find this strange for myself. I will happily pay for 2+ people to go to the movies, but if it is me, by myself, it doesn't seem worthwhile. I tell myself that I can see it another time. That doesn't mean that i take much notice of other people seeing movies alone. I would just assume that they wanted to see the movie.

I certainly understand the want to be alone.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I have this fear as well.

I could die at home. And nobody would even know to come check on me until a week later when I don't show up for work.

It's a real fear, I feel ya.

It's not much but you can always shoot the p00p with me on hear brotha!

I had an employee and a friend that stopped showing up to work. He thought as you did. I knew immediately when I showed up at his home and saw that the padlock was locked from the inside.

He didn't think he had any friends but we indeed had a friendship, albeit apparently unbeknownst to him. Don't dismiss those that may know you.

 

[Trailblazer]

So my chosen lifestyle pretty much means I do stuff by myself.

I walked into a restaurant last Sunday and since there were no counter seats available, I gave my name. When a place finally opened, the hostess said, Scott - party of one. I got a few chuckles when I got up and said, "And quite a memorable party it shall be."

I occasionally get odd looks when I dine alone or go to a theater alone. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, but it does leave me to wonder what others are thinking when they pass their judgment. What are you thinking when you see someone living in solitude?

Don't feel so bad, I have a husband but I feel like I am living alone. He does not want to do anything but watch TV, football, politics and news. We used to go out to eat once in a while, but now he does not even want to go out. I won't go out alone because I do not like driving, so here I am with all of you, not that I mind...

That is so silly, that you would get odd looks, but I know what you mean. People just *assume* that you have to have a partner or a family. I have no family except my husband and 10 cats.

People should never pass judgment on other people, that is my firm belief. It is none of their business what other people do or how they live.

I work for the government and at work I am the odd one out, I just do not fit in at all. I am so bored with the material world things people talk about. I avoid their potlucks like the black plague. That might sound like I am judgmental, but I never say a thing, I just stay in my workspace. I am not judging them, I am just bored by what they are so enthralled with. I cannot help it if I feel this way, I cannot be a fake.

 

[Enoch07]

I had an employee and a friend that stopped showing up to work. He thought as you did. I knew immediately when I showed up at his home and saw that the padlock was locked from the inside.

He didn't think he had any friends but we indeed had a friendship, albeit apparently unbeknownst to him. Don't dismiss those that may know you.

Your right. There is 3 people who would know something was up with me.

My cousin (more like a brother) and his wife. They would know because I text either or both of them on a daily or bi-daily basis. So If that didn't happen they would check.

And a younger (*edit I say younger what I mean is she's 22 y/o*) friend who I SC/DM on pretty much daily basis. She has adopted me as a Father figure, which I have reluctantly accepted, just because we are extremely goofy with each other and it's nice to just be yourself and not worry about judgment. She checks in on my every day or every other day and worries about me.

But yeah that's about it. I would say my Mom but even Mom only contacts me once per week/2 weeks. So she's about the same as work.

The neighborhood I just move into is mostly Latino. And most speak English better than I do. But because I'm 6' 350 lbs covered in tattoos with a shaved head. They kinda avoid me, and I don't blame them. They are used to being confronted with racism when interacting with someone that looks like me. But I've gotten to know a few of them, and say "Hola" and smile and wave time to time. I've recently been using an app called DuoLingo to teach myself Spanish in hopes of connecting to some of the a bit better. Most of them speak English already, and their children speak more proper English than I do, but I've had fun learning the language, even though it's hard, so I'ma stick to it as best I can.

 

[Axe Elf]

 

[Sunstone]

Don't feel so bad, I have a husband but I feel like I am living alone.

Does your husband accept you for who you are? In my experience, there's no loneliness on earth more profound than the loneliness of living with someone who does not accept you. I live alone but I almost never feel lonely. Back when I was married to my second wife, I almost never did not feel lonely.

 

[Enoch07]

That is exactly how it feels! LoL

 

[Spiderman]

So my chosen lifestyle pretty much means I do stuff by myself.

I walked into a restaurant last Sunday and since there were no counter seats available, I gave my name. When a place finally opened, the hostess said, Scott - party of one. I got a few chuckles when I got up and said, "And quite a memorable party it shall be."

I occasionally get odd looks when I dine alone or go to a theater alone. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, but it does leave me to wonder what others are thinking when they pass their judgment. What are you thinking when you see someone living in solitude?

I think Solitude is very rich and a lot of the enlightened people achieved that through Solitude, silence, recollection, or prayer and meditation.

There are carthusian monks that live in complete solitary confinement and don't even speak verbally, but with sign language.

Plus, you've been married and had kids, so you know what it's like to not be in solitude. If you prefer solitude, the only person you should try pleasing is yourself.

If you are drawn to solitude, that could very well be your destiny and calling.

 

[Enoch07]

I have no family except my husband and 10 cats.

People should never pass judgment on other people, that is my firm belief. It is none of their business what other people do or how they live.

I work for the government and at work I am the odd one out, I just do not fit in at all. I am so bored with the material world things people talk about. I avoid their potlucks like the black plague. That might sound like I am judgmental, but I never say a thing, I just stay in my workspace. I am not judging them, I am just bored by what they are so enthralled with. I cannot help it if I feel this way, I cannot be a fake.

I been thinking about rescuing an older dog off deathrow. But I don't want to do it until I know I am 100% committed to it.

But as far as work goes it's the same for me.

I work for the government. I avoid all interactions non work related with co-workers and their potlucks, and dinner parties, and their mindless dribble. And of course RF being an outlet for me as well. So I feel ya sista!

 

[Trailblazer]

No, I hate it and it's just breeding resentment in me towards others. I lived with my mom for my whole life until she died a few years ago and now I'm alone. I always wanted friends but can't seem to make any here that last or where people want to hang out with me or acknowledge my existence. I could die and no one would know.

I lived with my mom till I was 31 and then I lived alone for one year. I liked living alone. I was not looking to get married but it just happened three weeks after we met and we have been married ever since, for over 33 years.

I see people at work all day but I have no friends except on forums. All my forum friends are atheists because I do not gravitate towards beleivers.

Aside from my husband if I died nobody would ever know. He is 10 years older than I am so that is a cause for concern. I might have to start socializing as time goes on. I could have many friends if I decided to attend Baha'i activities. I just have no desire right now. I hate parties and social events where everyone talks about their families and trivial things.

We live out in the country, so if we want to go out we have to drive at least 6 miles to the nearest grocery store or restaurant on the outskirts of town. I do not like driving, I rarely ever drive, and I do not even like riding in a car. I ride my bike to work and back 24 miles a day. I like my alone time on the bike, nobody to bother me in the dark of night.

 

[Trailblazer]

Does your husband accept you for who you are? In my experience, there's no loneliness on earth more profound than the loneliness of living with someone who does not accept you. I live alone but I almost never feel lonely. Back when I was married to my second wife, I almost never did not feel lonely.

My husband fully accepts me for who I am and I accept him. He has been a Baha'i for 54 years, me for 48, so we have that in common, and we are also both cat lovers.

The only thing is that our purrrrsonalities clash, since he is anxious and I also have the tendency. It is best not to talk to him unless I have to, but when I have to he is there.

 

[Trailblazer]

I been thinking about rescuing an older dog off deathrow. But I don't want to do it until I know I am 100% committed to it.

Animals are the best. A dog would be a lot of company.

We not only have 10 cats indoors, we have an outdoor cat and many, many raccoons and squirrels and chipmunks and birds we consider family.

But as far as work goes it's the same for me.

]I work for the government. I avoid all interactions non work related with co-workers and their potlucks, and dinner parties, and their mindless dribble. And of course RF being an outlet for me as well. So I feel ya sista!

It is nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I been thinking about rescuing an older dog off deathrow. But I don't want to do it until I know I am 100% committed to it.

But as far as work goes it's the same for me.

I work for the government. I avoid all interactions non work related with co-workers and their potlucks, and dinner parties, and their mindless dribble. And of course RF being an outlet for me as well. So I feel ya sista!

Rescuing a dog is a great idea. I have a cat and a dog. If I didn't have them, I probably would've killed myself by now, to be honest. They give me a reason to stay alive and get out of bed.

 

[Enoch07]

Rescuing a dog is a great idea. I have a cat and a dog. If I didn't have them, I probably would've killed myself by now, to be honest. They give me a reason to stay alive and get out of bed.

Yeah as selfish as this sounds. One of my top reasonings for wanting to adopt a dog, is so that I would have someone waiting for me to get home. Someone who will ever happy to see me come home because they missed me. Is this vanity and selfishness? Part of me says yes, and part of me says no. Either way as soon as I get some meds and get my health under control I think I will go find me an old mut somewhere and give him/her a second chance.

 

[Trailblazer]

Rescuing a dog is a great idea. I have a cat and a dog. If I didn't have them, I probably would've killed myself by now, to be honest. They give me a reason to stay alive and get out of bed.

10 cats gives me a very good reason to get up, and they all want something different to eat.
After that I have to go out and feed the raccoons and squirrels and birds. Then if I am lucky, I can have some coffee.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Yeah as selfish as this sounds. One of my top reasonings for wanting to adopt a dog, is so that I would have someone waiting for me to get home. Someone who will ever happy to see me come home because they missed me. Is this vanity and selfishness? Part of me says yes, and part of me says no. Either way as soon as I get some meds and get my health under control I think I will go find me an old mut somewhere and give him/her a second chance.

I don't see anything vain or selfish about it. We all, or most of us, want to be loved and have companionship. We're a social species. Loneliness kills people because it causes health to degrade. (Loneliness and being alone aren't the same.) It's perfectly normal and natural to want that connection. It's nothing to be ashamed of or guilty about. My dog bounces off the walls every time I come home, even if I'm gone for less than an hour.

 

[Enoch07]

10 cats gives me a very good reason to get up, and they all want something different to eat.
After that I have to go out and feed the raccoons and squirrels and birds. Then if I am lucky, I can have some coffee.

Thanks to my neighbors I do have about a dozen or so free range chickens that roam the hood, and 2 domesticated turkeys as well. One of the turkeys is clearly a rescue because he is white. The reason I say that is most of my neighbors work for the local poultry processing plant. So I imagine these turkeys escaped theie cages and my neighbors just brought them home from work and raised them with the chickens. My new hood is fascinating, I love people watching. I mean that in a non-creepy way!

 

[Trailblazer]

Yeah as selfish as this sounds. One of my top reasonings for wanting to adopt a dog, is so that I would have someone waiting for me to get home. Someone who will ever happy to see me come home because they missed me. Is this vanity and selfishness? Part of me says yes, and part of me says no. Either way as soon as I get some meds and get my health under control I think I will go find me an old mut somewhere and give him/her a second chance.

That is not selfish at all, it is quite the opposite.

Sometimes we need someone to tell us that we are not bad people after all. Those of us who are socially isolated don't realize how others view us because there is nobody viewing us.
I can tell you are a good person just by what you say.

One reason I isolate is because I feel like I would be a burden to all the happy people at the social event. I do not want to be a burden, so as long as I still have so many problems I am not going to show up and spoil their party.
Most people who hear even half of my problems do not have a clue why I have so many problems, and why I cannot just wave a magic wand and make them disappear... They are living in a completely different reality..... I cannot understand theirs and they cannot understand mine.... It is just better to be alone.

 

[Enoch07]

One reason I isolate is because I feel like I would be a burden to all the happy people at the social event. I do not want to be a burden, so as long as I still have so many problems I am not going to show up and spoil their party.

Same here!

They are living in a completely different reality..... I cannot understand theirs and they cannot understand mine.... It is just better to be alone.

The feels is so strong here lol! Well at least we know we are not alone completely!