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Advice?

Philomath

Sadhaka
(Warning: This may be pretty long) So today I had an "intervention" with my parents. On my Facebook I had this image of Krishna and Radha as my background.

1rKbjXc.jpg


Somehow my parents found me on Facebook, most likely through one of my sisters because I don't have them as friends. But anyways they scrolled through the images I used as my Facebook header and they were all Hindu related images. I come from what many would consider a "fundamentalist" Christian background. My parents proceeded to degenerate Hinduism claiming it was "demonic", "satanic", "evil", "idol worship" and saying I was somehow being initiated into a cult. :confused:

I sat and listened laughing to myself throughout most of their tirade. They asked me why I had them as my header. I would have loved to say it's because I'm a Hindu but I can't tell them I've changed religions until I become financially independent of them. So instead I sat and pretended like I was still a Christian which really annoyed me.

My parents and the Christian sects they belong to actively believe in the Devil, evil spirits and etc. My mom began telling me stories of how back home(She's from Africa) how people had bought Indian statues and they had transformed into human beings during the night through witchcraft. :facepalm:

I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of this statement. They proceeded to warn me how these pictures could invoke "evil" powers which could harm me and my family. What killed me the most is when she pulled up a picture of Lord Shiva with multiple snakes wrapped around his neck and tried to correlate it into the Christian belief of snakes being evil. The rest of the conversation followed along those lines.

My relationship with my parents is already rocky but this made me realize that in my future I will basically have nothing to do with them. I respect their beliefs but they can't respect mine? So now I'm left with the question of what to do from here. What would you do?
 

Fireside_Hindu

Jai Lakshmi Maa
This is a really hard situation. I feel for you because I don't know what I would have done in your situation. I didn't find Hinduism until after leaving home, but even then my parents are not as strict as yours ( I still fear telling them for fear of rejection though)

I think all you can do for now is keep your head down. I'm sorry that your parents may not be a part of your life because of this. that's very hard. No matter how much our parents may anger us or disagree with us, there is still the child inside that wants to be connected with them. I hope someone else can give you better advice.

:camp:
 

Madhuri

RF Goddess
Staff member
Premium Member
I honestly don't know what I would do in this situation. I certainly wouldn't entertain any hope of changing my parent's beliefs. It sounds like they have some very strong superstitions.

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
 

Fireside_Hindu

Jai Lakshmi Maa
I had a thought:

You could try posting this question to the Christian forum to see if anyone there can give some perspective on how to talk to your parents about it. Just an idea.

:camp:
 

Philomath

Sadhaka
I honestly don't know what I would do in this situation. I certainly wouldn't entertain any hope of changing my parent's beliefs. It sounds like they have some very strong superstitions.

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

I'm 19. They're already too far stuck in their ways for me to even dream of doing that. But yes they are incredibly superstitious.
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
I would have no idea either. My parents nor the parents of any of my friends who converted were this extreme. They were atheists or very liberal non-practising Christians.

Despite less of a difference, we still sucked it up. I held off on burning incense, pictures of Gods, even vegetarianism, until I was financially independent, or at least out of THEIR house.

You're young. There are literally lifetimes to go. Lots of people have to hide their beliefs over far more serious things (like death). How long will it be before you can move out?
 

Philomath

Sadhaka
I would have no idea either. My parents nor the parents of any of my friends who converted were this extreme. They were atheists or very liberal non-practising Christians.

Despite less of a difference, we still sucked it up. I held off on burning incense, pictures of Gods, even vegetarianism, until I was financially independent, or at least out of THEIR house.

You're young. There are literally lifetimes to go. Lots of people have to hide their beliefs over far more serious things (like death). How long will it be before you can move out?

I can hold up on the activities such as burning incense and etc. I don't do them now and most of the time I'm away at school. Idk how long it will take me to move out, but this has certainly motivated me work harder towards it now. Hopefully by the time I'm 20 which will be next year I'll be able to move out.
 

Philomath

Sadhaka
I would say put a secular picture on one facebook account. Have another to your desire. How about these pictures: http://krishnastore.com/images/from_edt/Posters/Goverdhan Hill_pic2.jpg, http://www.backtohome.com/images/2011-Spring/Govardhana.JPG, http://www.caitanya.org/wordpress/wp-content/gallery/Radha_Gopala_Festival/Govardhana Hill.jpg.
This is Govardhana. They would not know a fig (that is perhaps what you people say). :D

I took them down :/ But I think this would be a good picture to replace them with lol.
 

Madhuri

RF Goddess
Staff member
Premium Member
Why would Christians be afraid of incense? Didn't the wise men give incense as a gift when Jesus was born?
 

Aupmanyav

Be your own guru
How about this: http://www.religiousforums.com/foru...2601b172418313c00ac0be_4944.jpg?dl=1388463203

This is Google Earth image of Vraja, has Mathura, Vrindavana, and Govardhan. I suppose, it also has Nandagaon and Barsana. I have not checked. No clue for your parents. My album has a bigger picture, which you also can search on Google Earth.

There is always a way to mislead the parents. Krishna did it all the time. Of course, as ShivaFan says in the following post, as a Hindu never hurt your parents. (edited)

Yashoda: Krishna, did you steal Vrinda's butter? :(
Krishna: No, mother. Not at all. :cool:
Yashoda: But you have the butter sticking all around your mouth! :confused:
Krishna: That! This is what my friends smeared around my mouth to put the blame on me. :shrug:
 
Last edited:

ShivaFan

Satyameva Jayate
Premium Member
Philomath listen to me carefully.

You are only 19. But soon you will be on your own. I strongly predict this, you will find an associate and means for money. Do not cross your parents at this time. No matter what, they have a love for you. You do not need to change, just stay calm, also do not hurt them, really a Hindu doesn't want that between parent and child.

Just let them and it go for now. You do not need to prove anything by acting out against yuur parents in the name of Hinduism. You are what you are, as a Hindu myself I will accept you as what you are and you do not need to prove yourself a Hindu by hurting your parents, nor hurt yuurself. Your time will come, be calm and carry on with them as normal, there is no rush. Very soon, all will change.

Om Namah Sivaya
 

Maya3

Well-Known Member
So sorry, this must be very hard.
It is very hard when you cannot be honest about your beliefs and feel that you are hiding something that is very meaningful to you.

I agree with others here, there is no rush with this. Your parents have very strong beliefs in their own religion and it is probably very hard for them to look at it differently. Wait until you are independent, and then you can see if you are able to talk to them about it. If not, that is ok too.
Some things we cannot share with our parents, and that´s ok.

Keep us posted, we are here for you if you need to talk.

Maya
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
Why would Christians be afraid of incense? Didn't the wise men give incense as a gift when Jesus was born?

My father was an atheist, and he thought it 'stunk up the house'. It was just unfamiliarity of going outside a box. People of that generation (I'm 60, he is deceased) were also 'afraid' to eat at ethnic restaurants for the same reason. They lived in a small world.
 

Philomath

Sadhaka
Philomath listen to me carefully.

You are only 19. But soon you will be on your own. I strongly predict this, you will find an associate and means for money. Do not cross your parents at this time. No matter what, they have a love for you. You do not need to change, just stay calm, also do not hurt them, really a Hindu doesn't want that between parent and child.

Just let them and it go for now. You do not need to prove anything by acting out against yuur parents in the name of Hinduism. You are what you are, as a Hindu myself I will accept you as what you are and you do not need to prove yourself a Hindu by hurting your parents, nor hurt yuurself. Your time will come, be calm and carry on with them as normal, there is no rush. Very soon, all will change.

Om Namah Sivaya

I'll take your advice, thanks :)
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
there is no rush.

This is very common, Philomath. The west is full of rush rush rush. Abrahamic religions are all about rush. Get it done, and get it done now. So it's a carryover.

In dharmic religions we have reincarnation, which creates an absolute TON of patience, if you really believe in it. If malas on a bead represent the soul's progression, look at the mala, not at the bead. Lots pf people I know actually say, "Maybe next lifetime' and believe it with all their hearts.

Best wishes.
 

Philomath

Sadhaka
This is very common, Philomath. The west is full of rush rush rush. Abrahamic religions are all about rush. Get it done, and get it done now. So it's a carryover.

In dharmic religions we have reincarnation, which creates an absolute TON of patience, if you really believe in it. If malas on a bead represent the soul's progression, look at the mala, not at the bead. Lots pf people I know actually say, "Maybe next lifetime' and believe it with all their hearts.

Best wishes.

I hadn't really thought of it from that view but that does kind of change my perspective about it. I'll just have to be patient and wait until my time arrives.
 
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