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Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Rival, May 23, 2019.

  1. Rival

    Rival Noachide Counter-Revolutionary
    Staff Member Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2012
    Messages:
    11,212
    Ratings:
    +11,922
    Religion:
    בת נח
    FOR SALE: REVOLTINGEST

    Looking for someone to correct your grammar? Need that crazy gardener next door in your life? Have you ever wondered how you would be so much happier if only you had someone making out of context jokes all the time about people you don't know? Search no more!

    @Revoltingest is the latest model libertarian engineer who has perfected block capitals and bizarre pop culture references, just the person you need.

    Order now!

    NOT FOR SALE: @Tumah

    Pshhh, you couldn't even afford Tumah's hat.

     
    #1 Rival, May 23, 2019
    Last edited: May 23, 2019
    • Funny x 3
    • Winner x 3
    • Like x 2
    • Friendly x 1
    • Creative x 1
  2. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2019
    Messages:
    1,535
    Ratings:
    +1,038
    Religion:
    God
    For sale: Jim

    Have you ever wanted a person who when you reach for the last biscuit, he slaps it out of your hand and tells you you should have a different color eyes? Then after you've stormed off to your room, he says, "I'm sorry. It was a joke."? Someone who's a good person and will try to understand you, but who will rip off his tie in the middle of a business meeting regardless of the consequences? You've got exciting, you've got daring... you've got Jim.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  3. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,940
    Ratings:
    +1,070
    Religion:
    diversity
    For Sale: Politically Ambigious, Musically Diverse, Devil's Advocate: @Stanyon

    Fun at parties, bar/bat mitzvas, baby showers, etc...
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 2
  4. Hockeycowboy

    Hockeycowboy Well-Known Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    4,508
    Ratings:
    +2,602
    Religion:
    Christian
    LOL! Girl, you are a blast!
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  5. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Libertarian Capitalist Atheist Bokononist
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2010
    Messages:
    143,784
    Ratings:
    +39,317
    Religion:
    Bokononism
    For sale, one cute doggie named @sun rise
    Do you need a warm friendly furry source of heat on those cold winter nites?
    Do you have a leg which wants the amorous attention it can't get from a cat?
    Do you need a sounding board for your anti-Trump anti-Scot anti-dentite rants?
    Then I have the perfect pooch for you, only slightly used, but full of life.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  6. BSM1

    BSM1 Who's a good boy?

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2012
    Messages:
    16,011
    Ratings:
    +7,210
    Religion:
    Buddhistic Panenthetic Jesusonian
    TODAY ONLY! BOGO! Buy one AT and get the other AT free of charge...
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  7. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2019
    Messages:
    1,535
    Ratings:
    +1,038
    Religion:
    God
    For sale: Revoltingest

    Nice, calm guy who spends his time talking to animals. Had to develop a strong sense of humor after accusations from a bear of certain misconducts. Would eat a bicycle wrapped in bacon if desperate enough.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2014
    Messages:
    32,838
    Ratings:
    +12,177
    Religion:
    Love
    For sale, one used bear @Wu Wei . He claims to only be interested in pick-a-nick baskets but he's often heard shouting "shut your pie hole" at one and all and complaining about all sorts of things including supporting retired folk.

    So if you've ever wanted a class 1 curmudgeon who is guaranteed to get grumpier with age, @Wu Wei is just the one you need.

    Act now and his second place plaque in the "Grumper Than Thou" contest will be yours as a bonus. (coming in second made him even grumpier).
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  9. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Avatar Change Imminent
    Staff Member Premium Member It's My Birthday!

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2012
    Messages:
    24,315
    Ratings:
    +7,325
    Religion:
    Liberal Christian almost quaker
    For sale: @beenherebeforeagain
    Start your own business selling squirrels with your own 2 squirrel starter kit.
    Multiplies rapidly under the right conditions, guaranteeing residual income!
    There will be no more lonely nights with your new friend skittering about overhead in your attic.
    Eats roaches and keeps the fleas from being interested in your cat.
    Adds hay and other excitement to air conditioning ducts! Surprise!
    Drop one into the punch at your next party. Squirrels love this!
    Loves fruit and other garbage. Is nuts about nuts.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  10. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,940
    Ratings:
    +1,070
    Religion:
    diversity
    For sale: Lovable Trampoline Expert: @Sunstone. This fellow has been studying the bouncy tramps for almost a decade. Certified, Licensed, Bound Bonded.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  11. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2019
    Messages:
    1,535
    Ratings:
    +1,038
    Religion:
    God
    Quiet agnostic dybmh seeks friends for jokes about RF members over fine drinks.

    (You don't joke about us that I know of - but I'm still onto you :p )
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  12. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Avatar Change Imminent
    Staff Member Premium Member It's My Birthday!

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2012
    Messages:
    24,315
    Ratings:
    +7,325
    Religion:
    Liberal Christian almost quaker
    Get yourself re-paginated in a new format.
    For sale one @crossfire, mind changing imp.
    This being escaped here through a spacetime singularity
    during the apocalypse of some dying age. A lurksome
    ner-do-well, this crossfire fiddles with bits of minds,
    makes a few dents and then dances away.
    We'd give her away, but the universe won't let us.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
  13. crossfire

    crossfire Antinomian feminist heretic freak ☿
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2012
    Messages:
    9,932
    Ratings:
    +3,204
    Religion:
    ☿ Mercuræn Buddhist & Ordained Pastafarian
    "It's like giving Nature a gentle nudge." ;)
     
  14. Quagmire

    Quagmire Imaginary talking monkey
    Staff Member Premium Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2007
    Messages:
    47,419
    Ratings:
    +8,141
    Religion:
    I am not an athiest.
  15. Quagmire

    Quagmire Imaginary talking monkey
    Staff Member Premium Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2007
    Messages:
    47,419
    Ratings:
    +8,141
    Religion:
    I am not an athiest.
    *test test*
     
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