A question about having kids.

[Spirit of Light]

I hear people always speak about having kids, and how much they looking toward to it.
But people get shocked when they hear that i do not want kids my self. I wonder why is it so much "preassure" toward getting kids?

I am soon 43 years old and if i were to get kids now, i would be more then 60 in their teens. I my self had a father who were 43 when he become a father to me. And i remember my parents was the oldest parents of all my friends when i grew up.

For me it is to late to become a father. And i am ok with that

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

There was a time in my family where everyone was having kids. I worried how it would affect my life because there may come times when I had to babysit a bit. And that may affect sleep and everything else for me. It turned out a few of these kids grew up to be my best friends, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

I hear people always speak about having kids, and how much they looking toward to it.
But people get shocked when they hear that i do not want kids my self. I wonder why is it so much "preassure" toward getting kids?

I am soon 43 years old and if i were to get kids now, i would be more then 60 in their teens. I my self had a father who were 43 when he become a father to me. And i remember my parents was the oldest parents of all my friends when i grew up.

For me it is to late to become a father. And i am ok with that

Well...I'd see it as a personal choice and I applaud people who can make it without doing something just because 'society' demands it.

Kids are a big responsibilty, and (much like a puppy) you have to be in it for the whole experience, not just the cute bits.

Having said all that, I wouldn't see 43 as too old if you could bring joy and energy to being a father.

 

[Jedster]

I hear people always speak about having kids, and how much they looking toward to it.
But people get shocked when they hear that i do not want kids my self. I wonder why is it so much "preassure" toward getting kids?

I am soon 43 years old and if i were to get kids now, i would be more then 60 in their teens. I my self had a father who were 43 when he become a father to me. And i remember my parents was the oldest parents of all my friends when i grew up.

For me it is to late to become a father. And i am ok with that

FWIW, I became a father at the age of 40. All I can say is, it is something wonderful. I now have a 33 year-old as a special friend.
43 is not too old.

Have a great day

 

[Spirit of Light]

Having kids is not my priority

 

[Vee]

I hear people always speak about having kids, and how much they looking toward to it.
But people get shocked when they hear that i do not want kids my self. I wonder why is it so much "preassure" toward getting kids?

I am soon 43 years old and if i were to get kids now, i would be more then 60 in their teens. I my self had a father who were 43 when he become a father to me. And i remember my parents was the oldest parents of all my friends when i grew up.

For me it is to late to become a father. And i am ok with that

I've never wanted to have kids and the older I get, the happier I am with my decision. It was the right one for me.
Never mind what others think. It's a personal decision.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I've never wanted to have kids and the older I get, the happier I am with my decision. It was the right one for me.
Never mind what others think. It's a personal decision.

So true

 

[Valjean]

I'd say any activity that has such massive social and ecological effects as having kids is more than just a personal decision.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I wonder why is it so much "preassure" toward getting kids?

Who is pressuring you to have kids?

 

[Spirit of Light]

Who is pressuring you to have kids?

Friends and family ( my aunt, uncle, and so on)

 

[bobhikes]

I hear people always speak about having kids, and how much they looking toward to it.
But people get shocked when they hear that i do not want kids my self. I wonder why is it so much "preassure" toward getting kids?

I am soon 43 years old and if i were to get kids now, i would be more then 60 in their teens. I my self had a father who were 43 when he become a father to me. And i remember my parents was the oldest parents of all my friends when i grew up.

For me it is to late to become a father. And i am ok with that

Its never to late for a male but there is no need to have kids. If you want a kid have a kid but make sure you want them, once you have a kid you need to be responsible for another's life for at least 18 years. The is much joy, sadness and a lot of work to grow a child. All you emotions both go and bad get heightened when raising a child. As to why people want you to have kids, its because they like kids and don't want the responsibility of raising them anymore or can't have kids. For non-parents of kids you get a lot of the good points without having to deal with the cost and headaches of having kids.

If your OK without having kids don't worry about whatever others say. This is true about everything other's say, you need to be true to yourself.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Friends and family ( my aunt, uncle, and so on)

Disappointing. Sounds to me like they're projecting.

As I see it, there should be no pressure to have children. Some people are cut out for parenthood; some are not. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either.

_______________________________________

 

[SomeRandom]

I hear people always speak about having kids, and how much they looking toward to it.
But people get shocked when they hear that i do not want kids my self. I wonder why is it so much "preassure" toward getting kids?

I am soon 43 years old and if i were to get kids now, i would be more then 60 in their teens. I my self had a father who were 43 when he become a father to me. And i remember my parents was the oldest parents of all my friends when i grew up.

For me it is to late to become a father. And i am ok with that

My father was in his 60s when I came along. People mistook him for my grandpa all the time lol

 

[Valjean]

Who is pressuring you to have kids?

All of society expects you to have kids, they pressure you, they judge you. They even judge you selfish if you do not -- though how this follows I can't see. This seems near universal. Parents admonish kids with "when you have kids, you'll see," not if you have kids.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

All of society expects you to have kids, they pressure you, they judge you. They even judge you selfish if you do not -- though how this follows I can't see. This seems near universal. Parents admonish kids with "when you have kids, you'll see," not if you have kids.

I see. Just seems like an outdated model that was once useful when the population might have been lower.

 

[exchemist]

I hear people always speak about having kids, and how much they looking toward to it.
But people get shocked when they hear that i do not want kids my self. I wonder why is it so much "preassure" toward getting kids?

I am soon 43 years old and if i were to get kids now, i would be more then 60 in their teens. I my self had a father who were 43 when he become a father to me. And i remember my parents was the oldest parents of all my friends when i grew up.

For me it is to late to become a father. And i am ok with that

I became a father at 47 and it seems to be fine. But I only have one son. Possibly it would have been a bit much to bring up three or four at such an age.

 

[SalixIncendium]

All of society expects you to have kids, they pressure you, they judge you. They even judge you selfish if you do not -- though how this follows I can't see. This seems near universal. Parents admonish kids with "when you have kids, you'll see," not if you have kids.

I think this was more of an expectation when you and I were young, and I think societal views with regard to the expectation to bear children, as a whole, have shifted a bit in that regard.

But I could be wrong.

Even so, though I did have kids, I never really felt pressured to do so despite the barrage of "when you have kids" comments I grew up with.

 

[Kenny]

I hear people always speak about having kids, and how much they looking toward to it.
But people get shocked when they hear that i do not want kids my self. I wonder why is it so much "preassure" toward getting kids?

I am soon 43 years old and if i were to get kids now, i would be more then 60 in their teens. I my self had a father who were 43 when he become a father to me. And i remember my parents was the oldest parents of all my friends when i grew up.

For me it is to late to become a father. And i am ok with that

There is absolutely nothing wrong about not wanting children. You can be a father to many young people as your share your wisdom.

That being said, it sounds like part of your reason is simply what other people thought about your dad (oldest of friend's parents) when you were a child. Did that affect you when you were a child?

 

[Spirit of Light]

There is absolutely nothing wrong about not wanting children. You can be a father to many young people as your share your wisdom.

That being said, it sounds like part of your reason is simply what other people thought about your dad (oldest of friend's parents) when you were a child. Did that affect you when you were a child?

Yes in a way it did affect me, but it should be said that my childhood was full of trouble for me, so it could be that my father age was not a Hauge problem He died in 2000 when i was 23. And that affected me more i believe.

 

[Kenny]

Yes in a way it did affect me, but it should be said that my childhood was full of trouble for me, so it could be that my father age was not a Hauge problem He died in 2000 when i was 23. And that affected me more i believe.

My brother (half-brother) was the age of my daughter. When my dad passed away, I had to raise up my brother. For him, when they asked about dad, "Is he your grandfather" - it was a problem.