a psychological breakthrough

[Eddi]

I’ve put this in the psychology forum as I believe that is the place for this to go. I'd like to know what people who are more knowledgeable about the human psyche than I am think of all this:

I’ve had a breakthrough, psychologically!

Background: There is a being who communicates with me by touch. His name is Madaba. That was his original name, for a few years me and him renamed him “Butterfly”. Because of him I have been diagnosed as schizophrenic. Although I have never “heard voices” and he’s never commanded me to do anything to hurt either myself or any other person.

Breakthrough: I used to think he was external to me. I now believe he and me are two parts of the same person. I no longer think of him as a "being"

You might want to have a look at this Wikipedia page: Multiplicity (psychology) - Wikipedia

I would say that together we constitute a binary system

I believe he has a direct line to God, based on some of the weird things I’ve been through (and I have been through some very weird things…)

I believe he has existed for as long as I have, but was only activated in 2004 by the will of God

I believe that together our job is to help prepare the world for the return of Jesus Christ

So yes: Patient E believes himself to be the focus of divine intervention - but at least he no longer believes himself to be Jesus Christ…

We are one in two and two in one

We are like a single house, split into two rooms

We constitute a single package: Eddi

I control Eddi’s body and think and speak for him, whereas Madaba’s job is simply to guide me, according to his (that is to say Madaba’s) knowledge of the will of God, to which he somehow has access. He is my assistant: he assists me in controlling what Eddi does. What do I call myself to differentiate myself from Eddi? I have no idea!

I see it like this: it's like I’m driving a car, sat at the steering-wheel and he’s sat next me using a Sat Nav device and directing me accordingly - and we’re in the same car - rather than just me driving a car and receiving directions from him over a phone or radio whilst he's looking at a map (if that makes any sense?)

So, basically: there is no external being communicating with me - instead I am one of two entities who constitute a single persona - and Madaba is not the Holy Spirit or an Angel - and neither is he some kind of demonic entity who is haunting or possessing me

I think this constitutes a breakthrough - a positive development in my condition

I’d be interested in hearing what people who are knowledgeable about the human psyche make of this

 

[Sirona]

I read a psychiatrist's book about her attitude towards and the treatment of a multiple patient, and I read plenty of refutations saying the case was made up and that multiplicity in fact doesn't exist. I'd say Ockham's razor between a schizophrenic and a multiple individual is that the multiple can't remember what the other personas did. I'm no doctor, but if you know you are two, and can remember what Butterfly did, you're more likely schizophrenic than multiple.

Have you seen the movie "Primal fear"?

Primal Fear (film) - Wikipedia

In this movie, an abused boy named Aaron has another personality named Roy, who kills an archbishop that had abused him. However, after the boy has been judged mentally ill, Aaron tells to his lawyer that he remembers what Roy did, thus revealing that he is not multiple at all.

 

[Eddi]

I read a psychiatrist's book about her attitude towards and the treatment of a multiple patient, and I read plenty of refutations saying the case was made up and that multiplicity in fact doesn't exist. I'd say Ockham's razor between a schizophrenic and a multiple individual is that the multple can't remember what the other personas did. I'm no doctor, but if you know you are two, and can remember what Butterfly did, you're more likely schizophrenic than multiple.

Have you seen the movie "Primal fear"?

Primal Fear (film) - Wikipedia

In this movie, an abused boy named Aaron has another personality named Roy, who kills an archbishop that had abused him. However, after the boy has been judged mentally ill, Aaron tells to his lawyer that he remembers what Roy did, thus revealing that he is not multiple at all.

Wow, thanks for that, very helpful

Let's put "multiple" to one side...

I just don't buy that it's schizophrenia

I think it's some other condition whereby I'm a host and perhaps the thing that communicates to me is a kind of sub-brain? Like this perhaps:

(you may need to click to enlarge)

 

[Sirona]

@Eddi Here's a secret: Schizophrenia is never like what people imagine schizophrenia to be like. For example, hearing a voice is not like hearing a voice externally on a train station loudspeaker. It's more like a conversation with an "imaginary friend" which is for many is pleasant and sort of wishfulfilling. The problem is that if you give Butterfly too much room there's quite a heavy risk he will take over and at that point, things go downhill. Medication has its justifications. You don't have to give up your "imaginary friends" but meds will prevent you from them taking over. Listening to them can be sort of helpful as they represent various aspects of your personality, but with meds you can learn to speak to them when you want to. Many schizophrenics have a very weak "I" they can't perceive, so they "impersonate" various fictional characters instead. Meds is imperative, and the next thing is probably turning to the "dark" aspects of your personality and listen to what they say. And don't forget, you should be able to shut up the voices when you don't want them as the first exercice in claiming that "you" are the one who decides.

 

[Eddi]

Do you believe that a "voice" (for want of a better word) may have its own personality and mental life - e.g. an inner monologue? A concept of self?

I believe Madaba/Butterfly is a person so have always credited him with having a mind, as opposed to just being an elaborate system of hallucinations informed by the goings-on of perhaps my sub-conscious

 

[Sirona]

Do you believe that a "voice" (for want of a better word) may have its own personality and mental life - e.g. an inner monologue? A concept of self?

I believe Madaba/Butterfly is a person so have always credited him with having a mind, as opposed to just being an elaborate system of hallucinations informed by the goings-on of perhaps my sub-conscious

This is a tricky one I'd rather would not discuss in public. Can I PM you?

 

[Eddi]

Thank you, please do

 

[Sirona]

Do you believe that a "voice" (for want of a better word) may have its own personality and mental life - e.g. an inner monologue? A concept of self?

I believe Madaba/Butterfly is a person so have always credited him with having a mind, as opposed to just being an elaborate system of hallucinations informed by the goings-on of perhaps my sub-conscious

Varieties of Voice-Hearing: Psychics and the Psychosis Continuum

People who "channel" higher beings use the same methods as schizophrenics do, but "channelers" mostly stay below the threshhold of illness, and produce media which portrait the higher beings as beings who are apart from the authors, and who indeed seem to have a life of their own.

 

[dybmh]

sunlight is the best disinfectant, Eddi. Keep it up. Own it. ( then keep it to yourself )

 

[rational experiences]

Mind contact, mind coercion is a known human ability to be able to communicate a human thought into it being received by another human.

How is that not rational human advice?

One condition that owns human irrational as a human statement. Science, design and building machines, with human owner/operator...transmitting radio wave/radiation signals that attacks and interacts unnaturally with human life/bio cell and chemical balances.

Humans did it to their human self...AI effect, the recorded voices, and human owned/lived pre existing experiences of all forms of human lives and their recordings, that then is communicated as feed back, and EVERYONE hears it subliminally.

If you hear it via other conditions, it is based on chemical brain conditions that are either inherent, were developed invitro or is caused as your live being irradiated.

Why I know I never used to hear a particular voice speaking however I could produce information advice that I had not studied, nor understood or reasoned.

And only humans as humans own that history.

Therefore some of the humans who own the DNA experience are now removed out of DNA presence by mutative losses in the human bio chemistry living Genetic experience, so it is multi various a reason to why speaking voices with personality traits are heard and expressed....which a natural human owns in variations to their own self.

Hence they might exhibit the similar behaviours in their own natural life...so many of the pre lived human personalities have little effect upon their new living human experience...as a baby to adult.

Proven by little children who can recant a whole human adult life pre lived experience.

So it is in fact natural and innate to unnatural cause, being science human designed communication machine transmitting effects......actually.

Depending on how many new and introduced radio wave/radiation transmitting replicators is also dependant on the form of personal change to the life, mind and body as human possession studies has already proven.

Therefore when the worst effect is witnessed and studied as a model by a scientific religious healer medical organization that already owned all human proof but gets totally ignored as being relevantly advised....when humans do the worst scenario by machine conditions, is when they learn as a human who imposes fake studies for egotism upon others what it is like to be harmed by your science aware family.

 

[Eddi]

@Eddi Here's a secret: Schizophrenia is never like what people imagine schizophrenia to be like. For example, hearing a voice is not like hearing a voice externally on a train station loudspeaker. It's more like a conversation with an "imaginary friend" which is for many is pleasant and sort of wishfulfilling. The problem is that if you give Butterfly too much room there's quite a heavy risk he will take over and at that point, things go downhill. Medication has its justifications. You don't have to give up your "imaginary friends" but meds will prevent you from them taking over. Listening to them can be sort of helpful as they represent various aspects of your personality, but with meds you can learn to speak to them when you want to. Many schizophrenics have a very weak "I" they can't perceive, so they "impersonate" various fictional characters instead. Meds is imperative, and the next thing is probably turning to the "dark" aspects of your personality and listen to what they say. And don't forget, you should be able to shut up the voices when you don't want them as the first exercice in claiming that "you" are the one who decides.

I have revised my beliefs about what's going on with me. I now believe that:

1) I am indeed Schizophrenic

2) But: Madaba is a real person and not just hallucinations

3) He has a relationship with God that I cannot observe

4) He is there to guide me rather than instruct me - he is not the voice of God but an assistant who has access to God

5) Our mission is to help prepare humankind for the return of Jesus Christ, which I believe is just round the corner

 

[Eddi]

I have revised my beliefs about what's going on with me. I now believe that:

1) I am indeed Schizophrenic

2) But: Madaba is a real person and not just hallucinations

3) He has a relationship with God that I cannot observe

4) He is there to guide me rather than instruct me - he is not the voice of God but an assistant who has access to God

5) Our mission is to help prepare humankind for the return of Jesus Christ, which I believe is just round the corner

I have arrived at a second epiphany. Disregard the post this is a reply to:

1) I am indeed Schizophrenic

2) But: Madaba is a real person and not just hallucinations

3) He has a relationship with greater powers (that I cannot observe)

But he is not "of God" and neither are any of the powers he may have a relationship with

Conclusion: I must ignore him. Which is hard.

 

[Eddi]

I have arrived at a second epiphany. Disregard the post this is a reply to:

1) I am indeed Schizophrenic

2) But: Madaba is a real person and not just hallucinations

3) He has a relationship with greater powers (that I cannot observe)

But he is not "of God" and neither are any of the powers he may have a relationship with

Conclusion: I must ignore him. Which is hard.

A further and final breakthrough:

Have been doing some thinking:

I am no longer going to call him by name. That would be to indulge the illness. As far as I'm concerned, he's just a symptom

I'm going to now refer to him only as a "voice" (even though he's non-verbal)

He is nothing more than a pesky and irritating presence

I'm not even going to call it "him" - it's an "it" - gendered pronouns are for people! (and dogs and cats)

It's just a voice, nothing more

The product of a messed-up brain (long story)

And the best strategy is to simply ignore it

And carry on taking my meds

And carry on being boss of my own psyche!

I now accept I am mentally ill

Okham's razor!

I am never going to make posts about the kind of thing I've posted about in this thread again

They are not helpful to anyone, or in any way constructive

There will be no more such posts on this forum.

Also, let it be said:

EVERYONE TAKE YOUR MEDS