A long drawn out contemplation about my life and other things

[Massimo2002]

I regularly go on a website called locanto and my sex advertisement almost always gets ignored I would like a pretty young adult girl to respond to my ad but it doesn't happen and the only people who seem to use the site are prostitutes and older men wow what a disappointment. I have days like today when I am unable emotionally to bring myself to go outside or even do certain things at home I don't know if I have any mental illnesses that are causing this or if I am simply burnt out from the pressure of daily life. Speaking of mental illness I have pure OCD which is a debilitating form of OCD where I will become obsessed with something and if I don't do it the voice in my head will put me down and make me feel as though something terrible had just happened I also have anxiety around people and take paxel for it because for me being outside in Edmonton is scary half the time because it is a city and the people who dwell in modern cities are terrifying people. I also desperately wish that I was older because I sincerely believe that most of these problems for me would probably just go away with time since time is the master of all things. I also enjoy food but food is expensive which is terrible I also enjoy CDs and DVDs but I hate having to return the cd or dvd if it is scratched or if the movie or a certain song or songs suck. I also wonder from time to time if my life is truly worth living or if it really is as pointless as it feels. I also think that cars are scary looking especially since they are everywhere and I can't always see the human that is driving them. Anyway that's it for now I will probably get a warning or ban for this post and I understand why but I need these things to be known I don't want these things to forever remain in my head. And before anyone asks if I have anyone to talk to the answer is a resounding no my parents and others do not seem to understand these things or if they do it is in a way that I do not understand and I don't have the money or time to wait to see a therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist Edmonton is a city where mental health just simply goes ignored because the majority don't have mental health issues unlike me. I am pretty sure that I have bipolar disorder because I have strong sexual feelings that last for a while and then I have a come down in which I will not even be interested in sex or other things that I usually enjoy such as movies and music and the internet even. I often wonder why God if there is a God allows such profoundly imperfect evil in the world because in a perfect world there would be no imperfections at all in anything. Humans themselves are a mystery why are there so many of us ? And why are we all different than eachother ? And why do age stages even exist ? And why are there Men And Women ? Why Do Emotions exist ? And another mystery is time itself what is time and why does it exist and finally what would being outside of time be like ? And Another mystery is Electronics What Are Electronics ? And how do they work ? Anyway forgive my incredibly long probably offensive post it's just that this is all very profound and the answers haven't came to me about all these things if there even are answers.

 

[Secret Chief]

the majority don't have mental health issues unlike me

Are you getting help with these issues?

 

[Massimo2002]

Are you getting help with these issues?

No only the anxiety is under control.

 

[Secret Chief]

No only the anxiety is under control.

Would you like more assistance? Is it available?

 

[Massimo2002]

Would you like more assistance? Is it available?

If it is available to me then it isn't coming to me and I find it hard to go out and try to find the solution.

 

[ChristineM]

Im not a medical person so take this with as much salt as you want...

You appear to be suffering anxiety brought on by paranoid schizophrenia. See your doctor about it, ask him about seeing a psychiatrist.
There are antipsychotics available that really can help you.

 

[libre]

I have pure OCD which is a debilitating form of OCD where I will become obsessed with something and if I don't do it the voice in my head will put me down and make me feel as though something terrible had just happened I also have anxiety around people and take paxel for it because for me being outside in Edmonton is scary half the time because it is a city and the people who dwell in modern cities are terrifying people. I also desperately wish that I was older because I sincerely believe that most of these problems for me would probably just go away with time since time is the master of all things. I also enjoy food but food is expensive which is terrible I also enjoy CDs and DVDs but I hate having to return the cd or dvd if it is scratched or if the movie or a certain song or songs suck.

I have OCD as well and have been in a similar place before.

Have you ever been on SSRIs? Talked to a family doctor about OCD?

 

[JustGeorge]

I regularly go on a website called locanto and my sex advertisement almost always gets ignored I would like a pretty young adult girl to respond to my ad but it doesn't happen and the only people who seem to use the site are prostitutes and older men wow what a disappointment.

Maybe try a normal dating site?

I have days like today when I am unable emotionally to bring myself to go outside or even do certain things at home I don't know if I have any mental illnesses that are causing this or if I am simply burnt out from the pressure of daily life. Speaking of mental illness I have pure OCD which is a debilitating form of OCD where I will become obsessed with something and if I don't do it the voice in my head will put me down and make me feel as though something terrible had just happened I also have anxiety around people and take paxel for it

That sounds like mental illness, yes. OCD can be debilitating, for sure. My oldest son wouldn't eat when he was young because of his; he hallucinated and saw bugs and dirt in his food.

I used to have intrusive thoughts... I hated it and it was terrifying. My therapist back then said it was obsessions without the compulsions.

because for me being outside in Edmonton is scary half the time because it is a city and the people who dwell in modern cities are terrifying people.

Can you get out into nature?

I also desperately wish that I was older because I sincerely believe that most of these problems for me would probably just go away with time since time is the master of all things.

Mhm. Time devours all.

I also enjoy food but food is expensive which is terrible

It is terrible. The price that's charged for general nourishment is ridiculous. Can you cook?

I also enjoy CDs and DVDs but I hate having to return the cd or dvd if it is scratched or if the movie or a certain song or songs suck.

Do you get them from the library?

I also wonder from time to time if my life is truly worth living or if it really is as pointless as it feels.

I think about that, too. You're not alone.

I also think that cars are scary looking especially since they are everywhere and I can't always see the human that is driving them.

Hell yeah! Cars suck!

I have trauma issues with cars.

Anyway that's it for now I will probably get a warning or ban for this post and I understand why but I need these things to be known I don't want these things to forever remain in my head. And before anyone asks if I have anyone to talk to the answer is a resounding no my parents and others do not seem to understand these things or if they do it is in a way that I do not understand and I don't have the money or time to wait to see a therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist Edmonton is a city where mental health just simply goes ignored because the majority don't have mental health issues unlike me.

Mental health issues are probably more common than you think. You really should try to seek it out, though, when you're able. Someone can help you navigate, and may be able to direct you to other folks who can help you get things done, as well as find the right medication for OCD. OCD is miserable. If you can't afford it, someone may be able to direct you to places that are able to help with the financial aspects.

I am pretty sure that I have bipolar disorder because I have strong sexual feelings that last for a while and then I have a come down in which I will not even be interested in sex or other things that I usually enjoy such as movies and music and the internet even.

Would be something to mention to such a professional.

I often wonder why God if there is a God allows such profoundly imperfect evil in the world because in a perfect world there would be no imperfections at all in anything.

Yeah, I think about that, too. I don't think deities are omnipotent due to that.

Humans themselves are a mystery why are there so many of us ?

Seems like we keep breeding.

And why are we all different than eachother ?

Good question! I find the differences fun, but it causes a lot of strife in some situations.

And why do age stages even exist ?

I don't know! I guess its kind of like an 'expression'... something is 'born', comes forth, presents its best form, starts fading... All things do it. Flowers, people, stars... Seems the way of the universe.

And why are there Men And Women ?

Polarities... not sure!

Why Do Emotions exist ?

I don't know, but I hate them. I wish I could feel nothing all the time.

You're not supposed to say that, I feel... be upbeat and say "ah, but without sorrow, I couldn't feel joy!" Screw that.

And another mystery is time itself what is time and why does it exist and finally what would being outside of time be like ?

Beyond my brain's comprehension, for sure.

And Another mystery is Electronics What Are Electronics ? And how do they work ?

Now that one you can figure out. Might take awhile to study, but there are definitely materials to teach a person all about that stuff.

Anyway forgive my incredibly long probably offensive post it's just that this is all very profound and the answers haven't came to me about all these things if there even are answers.

Hope you find a few!

 

[Massimo2002]

I have OCD as well and have been in a similar place before.

Have you ever been on SSRIs? Talked to a family doctor about OCD?

I don't know what SSRIs are and yes I have talked to my doctor about OCD but he said to make an appointment two weeks later because he prescribed me anxiety pills and wants to see how those are going so I am still waiting to book an appointment.

 

[Massimo2002]

Im not a medical person so take this with as much salt as you want...

You appear to be suffering anxiety brought on by paranoid schizophrenia. See your doctor about it, ask him about seeing a psychiatrist.
There are antipsychotics available that really can help you.

That's the worst mental illness of them all even more so than bipolar I am taking about schizophrenia I seriously doubt that I have that but perhaps you are right I am not one hundred percent sure.

 

[Massimo2002]

Maybe try a normal dating site?

That sounds like mental illness, yes. OCD can be debilitating, for sure. My oldest son wouldn't eat when he was young because of his; he hallucinated and saw bugs and dirt in his food.

I used to have intrusive thoughts... I hated it and it was terrifying. My therapist back then said it was obsessions without the compulsions.

Can you get out into nature?

Mhm. Time devours all.

It is terrible. The price that's charged for general nourishment is ridiculous. Can you cook?

Do you get them from the library?

I think about that, too. You're not alone.

Hell yeah! Cars suck!

I have trauma issues with cars.

Mental health issues are probably more common than you think. You really should try to seek it out, though, when you're able. Someone can help you navigate, and may be able to direct you to other folks who can help you get things done, as well as find the right medication for OCD. OCD is miserable. If you can't afford it, someone may be able to direct you to places that are able to help with the financial aspects.

Would be something to mention to such a professional.

Yeah, I think about that, too. I don't think deities are omnipotent due to that.

Seems like we keep breeding.

Good question! I find the differences fun, but it causes a lot of strife in some situations.

I don't know! I guess its kind of like an 'expression'... something is 'born', comes forth, presents its best form, starts fading... All things do it. Flowers, people, stars... Seems the way of the universe.

Polarities... not sure!

I don't know, but I hate them. I wish I could feel nothing all the time.

You're not supposed to say that, I feel... be upbeat and say "ah, but without sorrow, I couldn't feel joy!" Screw that.

Beyond my brain's comprehension, for sure.

Now that one you can figure out. Might take awhile to study, but there are definitely materials to teach a person all about that stuff.

Hope you find a few!

I tried normal dating sites such as Tinder and POF but I get ignored and so perhaps as long as I live in Edmonton I will forever be a lonely man or at least that's how I feel.

 

[ChristineM]

That's the worst mental illness of them all even more so than bipolar I am taking about schizophrenia I seriously doubt that I have that but perhaps you are right I am not one hundred percent sure.

I hope it's not schizophrenia. Best if you can find out one way or the other.

 

[Massimo2002]

I hope it's not schizophrenia. Best if you can find out one way or the other.

It's not easy trying to find out at least for me anyway.

 

[ChristineM]

It's not easy trying to find out at least for me anyway.

As i say, ask your doctor about seeing a psychiatrist. He/she can only say yes or no depending on if they think you are in need