A Great Big Load of Baloney

[Buddha Dharma]

The point of this humor thread is to say things you know don't work the way you say they do. It's for the laughs.

I'll start:

If you rub cheese on iron it'll take the rust out.

If you put peanut butter in your car's tailpipe, it'll stop the burning smell.

 

[Revoltingest]

If I post on RF, everyone will agree with me.

 

[Buddha Dharma]

If I iron a Scotsman's kilt it'll take the stench out

 

[4consideration]

My political philosophy and stance on specific subjects provides me with the vantage point for in-depth viewing into the psychological and emotional state of others and allows me to assume they are loving enough, intelligent enough, rational enough, educated enough, honest enough. etc. to the degree that they agree with me.

The Truth of that is so obvious that any disagreement with it should be met with nothing but sarcasm and ridicule.

 

[Revoltingest]

My political philosophy and stance on specific subjects provides me with the vantage point for in-depth viewing into the psychological and emotional state of others and allows me to assume they are loving enough, intelligent enough, rational enough, educated enough, honest enough. etc. to the degree that they agree with me.

The Truth of that is so obvious that any disagreement with it should be met with nothing but sarcasm and ridicule.

Whuh?

 

[Bob the Unbeliever]

If you rub lemon juice on a rusty spoon, you can use it to align your sat dish.


In an emergency, you can substitute bamboo for water pipe*



* this one must be true: I saw it on Giligian's Island.

 

[4consideration]

Anti-wrinkle cream is the reason 19 year old models in the advertisements don't have wrinkles around their eyes.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

Anti-wrinkle cream is the reason 19 year old models in the advertisements don't have wrinkles around their eyes.

That and Photoshop....but it used to be air-brushing...

 

[sun rise]

To improve the taste of any food markedly, add a pinch of fur the dog shedded.

 

[Bob the Unbeliever]

A tablespoon of Dawn dishwashing liquid in a tank of gasoline will leave your exhaust pipes smelling clean and fresh.

Toss some orange or lemon peeling into the clothes dryer, for fresh citrus scent.

 

[Shaul]

When you call a toll-free service number and they tell you your call is being recorded for quality purposes, they really mean it. Just like they mean it when they tell you your call is important to them.

Please hold...

Google Image Result for http://www.sphereitconsulting.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/1bbbf98d7a3314650897895b2e476f9c.jpg

 

[Phantasman]

"If I wear one of these you won't get pregnant"

 

[Buddha Dharma]

Peroxide takes the stains out of clothes.

 

[Bob the Unbeliever]

You can make purple jello by taking red jello and adding blue food coloring. And it will taste the same.

Interestingly enough, all jello actually tastes the same flavor; it's just illusion of the color and our expectations that fools us into thinking different.

 

[Bob the Unbeliever]

If you eat a whole roll of unbaked cookie dough, and then sit into a sauna for an hour, will the cookies become crispy or chewy?

 

[Buddha Dharma]

Every minute on RF kills a minute of your life

 

[Buddha Dharma]

Every minute on RF kills a minute of your life

Sorry you guys, I had to.

How about? Eating ramen noodles is good for treating diarrhea.

 

[Bob the Unbeliever]

I saw a package of sea salt. It said on the package that it was harvested from ancient, million year old sea beds.

Oddly enough, there was a "Sell By" date on the package.... hmmm.

 

[Bob the Unbeliever]

Sorry you guys, I had to.

How about? Eating ramen noodles is good for treating diarrhea.

R'Amen!

 

[Bob the Unbeliever]

According to physics, white light is comprised of light from the three primary colors-- you blend them to get white.

But. If I have a paint set of those exact same colors, and I mix them all together? I get an ugly shade of brown.

Does that mean white light is a Lie, and it's really all just sh---?