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A Friend And His "Sensual" Daughter

Skwim

Veteran Member
Last fall three of us were driving to barbecue and talking about families when one of us told us about his concerns for his 16 year-old daughter who seemed to have a "heightened sense of sensuality," as he put it. He said that at home she enjoys going bra-less, and without panties, even when out in public---his wife told him about the sans-panties thing. She told her mother she gets a "kick" out of it. She also confessed to having gone skinny dipping a couple of years ago with some classmates (I'm guessing that would be when she was 14.) He also said she can be quite immodest at home, sometimes walking around topless. He says she doesn't dress slutty or even inappropriately, is a good student with nice friends, but he is concerned that her "sensuality" might rub off on her younger sister, who's 13. When one of us asked if he thought she was still a virgin, he just shrugged. Looking up the statistics I see that 17.2 years is average age at which girls lose their virginity.

His misgivings didn't seem to be for the 17 year-old as much as for the possibility that his younger daughter might develop the same attitude. He says his wife isn't really bothered by any of it, which got me thinking if he should be concerned about either one of them.

What do you think?

.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
I don't see much of a reason for concern. Lots of teens go skinny dipping, lots of people go without underwear, she doesn't dress inappropriate outside of the house and a woman being topless shouldn't be considered inherently sexual (much of the world doesn't).
Or, to put it another way, would this at all even be a question or given a thought or even considered sexual if a guy was doing them?
Sounds like daddy needs to just accept his little girl is a sexual being like every other woman, and realize not everything is sexual (really, who's she showing her tits to at home?)
 

Brickjectivity

Turned to Stone. Now I stretch daily.
Staff member
Premium Member
What do you think?
It doesn't sound like a heightened sensuality, just a family with fewer restrictions. I remember a girl in 10th grade who wasn't wearing any underwear in gym class, just some sweatpants. Its not particularly surprising. Also don't forget Bora Bora.
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
From what you say, there seems to be little cause for true alarm.

It is possible that he is just ill at ease with behavior that is unusual in his personal experience.

If I dare say as much, there is a chance that he is conflicted about how he feels about his daughter, and it might help to express that conflict and face it up front.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
If I dare say as much, there is a chance that he is conflicted about how he feels about his daughter, and it might help to express that conflict and face it up front.
Yup. Everything outside of home seems just fine, meaning he is concerned about behaviors that are non-sensual is his daughter being too sensual. At least where I grew up, skinny dipping really wasn't indicative of any future behaviors. It's not at all unusual to find people who did it as teens. Literally, no one, not even the police (they'd rather see teens do that than drugs or causing trouble), gives a single damn. But this guy does.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
I think when that guy gets a chance and privacy he should walk around his house naked, and feel how awesome it feels. And not wear any underwear to feel that too can feel pretty good. But first he has to wear a bra for a month so he can get the full-commando feel when he goes without that.
 

Curious George

Veteran Member
Last fall three of us were driving to barbecue and talking about families when one of us told us about his concerns for his 16 year-old daughter who seemed to have a "heightened sense of sensuality," as he put it. He said that at home she enjoys going bra-less, and without panties, even when out in public---his wife told him about the sans-panties thing. She told her mother she gets a "kick" out of it. She also confessed to having gone skinny dipping a couple of years ago with some classmates (I'm guessing that would be when she was 14.) He also said she can be quite immodest at home, sometimes walking around topless. He says she doesn't dress slutty or even inappropriately, is a good student with nice friends, but he is concerned that her "sensuality" might rub off on her younger sister, who's 13. When one of us asked if he thought she was still a virgin, he just shrugged. Looking up the statistics I see that 17.2 years is average age at which girls lose their virginity.

His misgivings didn't seem to be for the 17 year-old as much as for the possibility that his younger daughter might develop the same attitude. He says his wife isn't really bothered by any of it, which got me thinking if he should be concerned about either one of them.

What do you think?

.
Concerned, no. But, there certainly is a respect issue if he wants her to act with more modesty in his presence.

I certainly understand that it is her home as well and if one should be free to be immodest anywhere, one's home is certainly the place. It sounds like your friend has some hang-ups but that doesn't entitle his daughter to ignore his feelings. Can't see anything wrong with skinny dipping unless she pressured, manipulated or forced others to join. As far as his younger daughter goes, she will have her own sexuality, levels of comfort, and life choices.

He should probably be happy that his daughter doesn't seem to have body issues. But if he feels uncomfortable, he might want to check in with his younger daughter to make sure she too doesn't feel uncomfortable.
 

Curious George

Veteran Member
That a million times over.
Just to note, I did say "seems." We can not really know since we are not there. Walking around without clothes or even exhibitionism can be ways in which people cope with body issues. It is really hard to say much for certain.

Still she at least does not seem to be ruled by shame. I suppose when we get right down to it, few if any are completely free of any body issues.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
Just to note, I did say "seems." We can not really know since we are not there. Walking around without clothes or even exhibitionism can be ways in which people cope with body issues. It is really hard to say much for certain.
Of course that's possible, but from what's given it does seem she's just not ashamed of her body or letting archaic and arbitrary rules of modesty dictate her life in every facet (honestly, I didn't know anyone even gave a **** over someone not wearing underwear in public - if dressed appropriately how is anyone but the one not wearing them to ever know under most circumstances?)
 

Dan From Smithville

What's up Doc?
Staff member
Premium Member
Last fall three of us were driving to barbecue and talking about families when one of us told us about his concerns for his 16 year-old daughter who seemed to have a "heightened sense of sensuality," as he put it. He said that at home she enjoys going bra-less, and without panties, even when out in public---his wife told him about the sans-panties thing. She told her mother she gets a "kick" out of it. She also confessed to having gone skinny dipping a couple of years ago with some classmates (I'm guessing that would be when she was 14.) He also said she can be quite immodest at home, sometimes walking around topless. He says she doesn't dress slutty or even inappropriately, is a good student with nice friends, but he is concerned that her "sensuality" might rub off on her younger sister, who's 13. When one of us asked if he thought she was still a virgin, he just shrugged. Looking up the statistics I see that 17.2 years is average age at which girls lose their virginity.

His misgivings didn't seem to be for the 17 year-old as much as for the possibility that his younger daughter might develop the same attitude. He says his wife isn't really bothered by any of it, which got me thinking if he should be concerned about either one of them.

What do you think?

.
It does not sound like the daughter has habits that are signs of other, more serious issues, but I admit that I would not be keen about my daughters running around topless in my house. That may be my hangup, but it is a real feeling that needs to be considered, just as it should be for him. If she is so comfortable with herself, it might be easy to discuss it with her on a more adult level so that your friends concerns are made clear to her so that she can make her choices more informed and in consideration of her parents. If this is the entire issue, she may be a good influence on her sister.

Do you have any friends with 40 year old daughters that display these same tendencies?
 

Rational Agnostic

Well-Known Member
Last fall three of us were driving to barbecue and talking about families when one of us told us about his concerns for his 16 year-old daughter who seemed to have a "heightened sense of sensuality," as he put it. He said that at home she enjoys going bra-less, and without panties, even when out in public---his wife told him about the sans-panties thing. She told her mother she gets a "kick" out of it. She also confessed to having gone skinny dipping a couple of years ago with some classmates (I'm guessing that would be when she was 14.) He also said she can be quite immodest at home, sometimes walking around topless. He says she doesn't dress slutty or even inappropriately, is a good student with nice friends, but he is concerned that her "sensuality" might rub off on her younger sister, who's 13. When one of us asked if he thought she was still a virgin, he just shrugged. Looking up the statistics I see that 17.2 years is average age at which girls lose their virginity.

His misgivings didn't seem to be for the 17 year-old as much as for the possibility that his younger daughter might develop the same attitude. He says his wife isn't really bothered by any of it, which got me thinking if he should be concerned about either one of them.

What do you think?

.

Nothing wrong with what the girl is doing, but the dad sounds like a real perv if he is referring to his own daughter as being "sensual" and discussing how she dresses.
 

Skwim

Veteran Member
Had to be away for awhile so this is the first I've had a chance to read all the replies and respond.

I think many of the comments here are right on. In my opinion, I honestly can't see anything shameful or harmful in her behavior, and as long as she's obviously comfortable with it I don't think it's something her parents need to address. But in as much as she enjoys it and even gets a kick out of it I can see why her dad thinks she's expressing her sensual side---I do question this conclusion. But even if this is true, that she has a sensual side she enjoys, is this something to be concerned with? Personally, I don't think so, as long as she doesn't let it get out of hand, like riding around in cars displaying her bare boobs---I once went with a girl who was quite comfortable riding around topless, but she never exposed her boobs to anyone.

As a question to the women here: is any of her behavior really out of line? I do recognize that going without a bra is no big deal, although seldom done much anymore.

.
 
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VoidCat

Pronouns: he/him/they/them
As a question to the women here: is any of her behavior really out of line? I do recognize that going without a bra is no big deal, although seldom done much anymore.
I don't identify as female or as a woman but i was raised as female plus my gender is sometimes a mix between male and female(through not all the time) so I'll answer this. Not in my opinion. Seems alright to me.
 
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