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  1. Wirey

    A genuine question for MAGA Republicans

    I work with a couple of people who constantly go off about the US Federal election having been stolen. They say that Trump knows it was, and he will stop it this time. Assuming this as the basis for what follows, here's my question: If Trump couldn't stop the Democrats from stealing the...
  2. Wirey

    Most attractive avatar

    Please note this is about the avatar, not the actual poster. I'm aware I'm the most attractive person here. Why, when I was a teenager, I couldn't keep my hands off of me! I'm fantastic!
  3. Wirey

    I grow increasingly suspicious

    Ever since I discovered that diseases which affect humans are primarily derived from animals, I worry that having a 'hoarse throat' is a typo. I think they (animals) are conspiring against us.
  4. Wirey

    Jokes you can say around children and people with no sense of humour

    Why did the whale blush? It saw the ocean's bottom. Next!
  5. Wirey

    So God shows up today.....

    Announces "It's pronounced 'Jod', and disappears. Would we listen?
  6. Wirey

    Dad jokes!

    I'll start: Why did the Texan buy a dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggie. Next?
  7. Wirey

    Is Desantis just trying to relive the past?

    It seems to me that this desire to send illegal immigrants to the north is a thinly veiled attempt to get rid of off-white immigrants. There absolutely must be illegal immigrants in Florida/Texas/Arizona who are fleeing unrest in the Ukraine, or the economic upheavals in Eastern Europe, and yet...
  8. Wirey

    Wirey's return dirge

    I was gone But now I'm here I'm in my undies And filled with beer I'll put my wits To any test But don't ask me to shave Revoltingest
  9. Wirey

    I was away for the Trump presidency

    Did I miss anything?
  10. Wirey

    I have an announcement to make!

    Urinal cakes are not minty! That is all.
  11. Wirey

    I apologize for not showing up

    Sold my dealership, fixed my marriage, taught engineering at a university and caught COVID. But I’m feeling much better now. I’ll try to stop by more.
  12. Wirey

    Escape from the ward!

    I’m home and alive. I had to go get my zipper adjusted. It’s the last time. If it ever gets unzipped again, it stays unzipped apparently. If I posted here in the last couple of months, I apologize. I’ve been weird. I even got my friend Nancy to stir up trouble where she works! So, how have...
  13. Wirey

    Constipation and peanut butter cookies

    So guess what makes God laugh these days? If I eat peanut butter, my back door gets dead bolted. And two days ago I ate two peanut butter cookies. I look like a pregnant woman who’s ready to pop, and feel worse.
  14. Wirey

    You know what I meant to say?

    Totem. Not scrotum. Sorry about that.
  15. Wirey

    Things you learn during a zipper adjustment

    Thing the First: Even a small stainless steel plate on your skull requires a big hole when they take it out. Thing the Second: Headache medicine is highly overrated. Morphine is not. Thing the Third: Hot nurses are really hot if they have to give you a sponge bath. Especially if you’re...
  16. Wirey

    Sorry I was away

    Zipper adjustment. I’m fine now.
  17. Wirey

    The True Love Thread

    We all have fun, but I want you all to know that my time here has always been enjoyable, and that it’s mostly because I have grown to love you all. Except @BSM1 That guy really needs a shower and some Beano! Who do you love?
  18. Wirey

    Idiocy: Cause and effect

    I have a client who is giving me fits. This gentleman sells real estate, but isn’t very good at it. In fact, he hasn’t sold a house for a year. As a result, the bank said “Listen, that Escalade wasn’t a gift. Pay up or we need it back.” So he tried to hide it at his girlfriend’s apartment. They...
  19. Wirey

    Reincarnation: what’s next?

    For my next life I’d like to be a stud horse. Guess why. Ladies, hay you doin’?
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