My Journey

It has been a while since I've posted in these forums, so most people probably don't remember me.

There is no UU congregation in my town, but I've read much from UU websites and two books so far. I like most of what I've read, and I agree with the 7 principles.

Like many UUs, I came from an abusive religious background that I still have not fully recovered from. The last time I posted, I was considering the Episcopalian church. I am now a catechuman in an Episcopal church, but I'm having doubts. I'm not sure if I can finally go through with the initiation once the opportunity arises. On the positive side, John Shelby Spong opened up some brilliant ideas for me in Jesus for the Non-Religious, and I've already purchased four more of his books. I'm waiting for them to arrive.

Knowing that many of you have also had to deal with religious abuse -- which is why some people come to Unitarian Universalism -- I thought I would share a part of my journey with you. Any insights into how some of you were finally able to take the plunge and officially join a congregation or religion would be great.

Peace,
James

I remember you. Nice to see you back.

I sat on the sidelines outside of active church membership for several decades, actually. Part of my "sideline" time was spent singing in a choir in a high Episcopal church; my family background is Episcopal and there's a core of me that still loves the Anglican tradition. But theologically, I couldn't reconcile the Nicene Creed with my conscience, so I didn't take communion and watched as the other choristers went up to the rail. Still, it was a healing experience to be in a mainline, responsible, thoughtful and intelligent religious environment.

Years later I dropped into a UU church about every month; the congregation was floundering and the services weren't as rich as in the Episcopal church, but I had no cognitive dissonance with the ideas that were being preached, discussed, and sung. When I moved to the West Coast I attended a UU church regularly, but on principle wouldn't join the church officially...which was kind of silly in retrospect, since I wound up teaching in their RE program for a few years.

When I moved to New England, I had realized that religious organizations of any type are going to have their "problem personalities", and conflicts; but that wasn't reason to hold back from becoming a member of the congregation. It's been mostly good, but with some rocky, challenging and hurtful times. From these experiences, I've learned that theology can't exist on its own; it has to be tested in community.

Our church studied one of Bishop Spong's books ("Rescuing the Bible from the Fundamentalists", I think) and if the whole Episcopal church were that liberal, I'd be there. But I had a lot of exposure to the more conservative side of the church during the "Services for Trial Use" period, and the opposition to womens' ordination during the 1970s, currently expressed in the controversy over ordination of openly gay bishops. With that conflict unresolved, and I think theologically unresolvable, I couldn't stay with the church of my birth.

spiritually inclined said:

Knowing that many of you have also had to deal with religious abuse -- which is why some people come to Unitarian Universalism -- I thought I would share a part of my journey with you. Any insights into how some of you were finally able to take the plunge and officially join a congregation or religion would be great.

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Hmm... I've shared my story so many times that I'm sick of it.

Short version:
At some point I realized that even if I didn't like organized religion, I still believed in God, in something greater than myself. So I went seeking for a religion in which I could partake without my reason being offended.

At some point later I realized that while I was seeking but not finding I was missing out on community. So I joined the UUs with the reasoning being that even if I didn't see much substance there, at least they would never say something to offend my reason.

Then I moved to DC, found All Souls, and found a church that sometimes did offend me but most of the time affirmed. A church where we actually worship. A church with the rockinest music. A church where people greet you with smiles and hugs.

That was why I joined the church. Why I joined UU - I mean really joined, not just attended services - is because my minister showed to me that UU does have a theology. It's not empty as I had previously thought. And it's a theology that speaks to the very core of my soul. I couldn't not join.


That said, I was walking near the White House today and came across an Anglican/Episcopal church nearby. I *love* the red doors, so welcoming. And they had a sign out about walking a labyrinth. And the courtyard was so tranquil and inviting... and for a moment my heart ached to have that - the security and comfort of ritual and tradition, instead of being tempest tossed in the seemingly ever shifting tides of UUism. There is such a thing as too much "freedom."

lilithu said:

At some point I realized that even if I didn't like organized religion, I still believed in God, in something greater than myself. So I went seeking for a religion in which I could partake without my reason being offended.

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That's exactly how I found UU.

lilithu said:

my heart ached to have that - the security and comfort of ritual and tradition, instead of being tempest tossed in the seemingly ever shifting tides of UUism. There is such a thing as too much "freedom."

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And that's exactly why I haven't actually "joined" the congregation yet. Also because I feel the need for a deeper "connection". With the minister and with the congregation as a whole. I'm hoping the "new to UU" classes and "small group ministries" will help with that. So far though, everything I've read about UU suggests that it's where I belong.

powder21 said:

And that's exactly why I haven't actually "joined" the congregation yet. Also because I feel the need for a deeper "connection". With the minister and with the congregation as a whole. I'm hoping the "new to UU" classes and "small group ministries" will help with that. So far though, everything I've read about UU suggests that it's where I belong.

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In the 1970s when secular humanism was at its peak, a small group of UUs realized that Unitarian Universalism was losing all aspects of worship. Our Sunday services were more like college lectures than worship. They banded together and formed the Congregation of Abraxas - a semi-monastic order devoted to worship. It is because of them that we have our hymnal, not just the hymns but also the responsive readings. If they had not existed, I could not be a UU. The Congregation of Abraxas is no more.

It is one of my dreams that I might find enough UUs who yearn for ritual and tradition who might be willing to restart the Congregation with me. It is one of my dreams to create more rituals that are uniquely meaningful to our theology.

lilithu said:

It is one of my dreams that I might find enough UUs who yearn for ritual and tradition who might be willing to restart the Congregation with me. It is one of my dreams to create more rituals that are uniquely meaningful to our theology.

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I wish you luck and hope that your dream may be fulfilled. If I finally decide to join my congregation and really get involved, I'd definitely like to help with that. (Someday )

Lillithu,

I know you may not be around here much.... but here goes a post anyway...

There have been two "semi-monastic" orders in our faith movement over the years.. the Congregation of Abraxas was one of them. The other, whom I have had a greater affinity with (even though they made a bad name for themselves in some circles with their style of evangelism) was the "Humiliati". This was from the Universalist side of our faith, and they attempted to promote a more "syncretic" view of Universalism... as well as to deepen the movement spiritually.

Sadly, they too are no longer formally in existence, although members of the Humiliati are still alive and in our ministry (mostly retired).

I dont know if it would ever make sense to bring Abraxas or the Humiliati back... but some form of semi-monasticism within the movement I think would be wonderful and essential. You would find a supporter in me (although you propbably already knew that). How to open it to lay members and still gain deep support from the ministry would be an interesting challenge.

Food for thought for me this morning, as I am finishing Scott Alexander's book "Salted With Fire" for the second time.

Yours in Faith,

David

No offence, but I don't really perceive a connection between being a UU and having an abusive background.
Good wishes in your personal search.

As I traveled and lived other places, I gained an appreciation for others' view points and religions. Ultimately I could not rectify the overall "my way or the highway" approach of my Christian upbringing with the fact that there are many other religious/spiritual traditions that are valid as well. Over time I have come to my personal conclusion that the world's religions are just different roads to the same place, that there is much to be learned from virtually all religious traditions. I came to be a part of the Unitarian Universalists in Casper, WY because the community embraces the varied spiritual paths on which people have traveled and continue to travel, including mine. I've sought a spiritual place to call home; I finally found it in the Unitarian Universalists. Whatever path you end up traveling, I wish you well on your journey.