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How would you judge your childrens grades?

jacquie4000

Well-Known Member
Your child comes home and has an A in Scince, A in History, B in English and a D in Math. Which grade would you concentrate most on and why?
 

Buttercup

Veteran Member
Your child comes home and has an A in Scince, A in History, B in English and a D in Math. Which grade would you concentrate most on and why?
What do you mean by "concentrate"? If you mean to try to encourage him to do better....obviously it's math. :D
 

Buttercup

Veteran Member
You don't want to ignore any grade of course, but which one is your true focus?
I would be very proud of the excellent grades and ask my son what I could do to help him raise the lower grade in Math. Also, I'd probably ask the teacher's thoughts of why he doesn't do as well in that subject. All the subjects you mention are important so it would be difficult for me to lecture on just one being a focus.

I have a similar problem with my son Brandon except it's English he doesn't find interesting. It's a constant struggle to keep him focused on doing well in that class, he simply has no curiosity about Shakespeare. :)

Some parents pay for grades but at our house we don't pay for grades other than with compliments and ice cream. :D
 

jacquie4000

Well-Known Member
I would encourage the interest in Science and English, but offer some extra help in math.


Exactly. While of course I would want him to do better in Math chances are that is not his strongest suit. Pushing him to do really good at it will only make it worse. I should focus mainly on what my child is good at and push him to suceed in this area. All to many times I see parents so worried about one class their child never does well in while neglecting what he or she exceeds in.:)
 

Buttercup

Veteran Member
Exactly. While of course I would want him to do better in Math chances are that is not his strongest suit. Pushing him to do really good at it will only make it worse. I should focus mainly on what my child is good at and push him to suceed in this area. All to many times I see parents so worried about one class their child never does well in while neglecting what he or she exceeds in.:)
I understand what you're saying and agree. When you asked what would be your focus I wasn't clear on what you meant exactly. :)

Of course each kid has a predisposed ability in certain areas but, if you don't encourage him to do better in math, don't you think he might feel inadequate? Also, receiving a "D" in any subject to me shows they simply aren't trying hard enough.
 

Gentoo

The Feisty Penguin
All to many times I see parents so worried about one class their child never does well in while neglecting what he or she exceeds in.:)

I know about that first hand. My science grades were always good, but it was math that I hated (and still do), my good grades were practically ignored and I was yelled at for my bad math grades. It didn't help me want to succeed in math, just kinda gave up; especially after a good grade in it, I got a B, and my dad asked me: "Why isn't it an A?" I stopped caring after that.
 

jacquie4000

Well-Known Member
I understand what you're saying and agree. When you asked what would be your focus I wasn't clear on what you meant exactly. :)

Of course each kid has a predisposed ability in certain areas but, if you don't encourage him to do better in math, don't you think he might feel inadequate? Also, receiving a "D" in any subject to me shows they simply aren't trying hard enough.

Well I wasn't talking about my son actually his weakness is reading. We do work on reading but I don't push it to much or he will give up. He is now on grade level in reading as where he was not before. Sometimes a D means they are not interested, yes maybe they aren't trying hard enough, maybe they are. You have to really know your child to have that answer of course. My brother used to do terriable in most classes because he found school less then interesting, yet he was brillant. Not that this is the average case.
 

Smoke

Done here.
I can't say. The B in English wouldn't get my attention too much, and the As in history and science and the D in math would be about equal. On the one hand, we obviously have a problem in math, and that needs to be addressed. On the other, I'd be delighted that the kid was doing well in science and history, and eager to encourage that.

Channeling my parents:

Why did you get a B? Someday you're going to wish you had paid attention in school! I never got a B in my life!

A D??!!! What are you thinking about? Do you think school is a joke? Do you think you can go through life like this? You're going to buckle down and get serious about your studies, young man. I can't believe you! A lot of people would be glad to have the opportunities you do! All you have to do is go to school! Your Great-Grandma thinks you're so smart; what would she think if she knew you got a D? She never got a D, and she worked day and night at the chair factory and went to school when she was your age! There are going to be some changes around here right now! I want to see your homework every night before you watch any television. Every night, do you hear me? When you get home from school, I want to see those books come out, and I want to see your work. A D! Aren't you ashamed?

Bill! Did you see this? He got a D!

Oh, Christ. You'd better quit screwing around and get serious. Dammit, what do you think we're sending you to school for?
 

Buttercup

Veteran Member
Well I wasn't talking about my son actually his weakness is reading. We do work on reading but I don't push it to much or he will give up. He is now on grade level in reading as where he was not before. Sometimes a D means they are not interested, yes maybe they aren't trying hard enough, maybe they are. You have to really know your child to have that answer of course. My brother used to do terriable in most classes because he found school less then interesting, yet he was brillant. Not that this is the average case.
Yes, it's the most productive course to take each kid at their own individual level and interests. All four of my kids were different academically but thank god two of them were easy to direct. :p

Regarding my son Brandon, he really wants to get into a good college....allowing him to accept a "D" grade as adequate wouldn't help him in any way toward his goal. I know he doesn't enjoy English but I'm certain he can do better.

Also, we don't lecture or get mad at the kids for lower grades but they do have to maintain a certain GPA to be allowed to drive and some keep other privileges.
 

Aqualung

Tasty
I would concentrate on them equally. As long as the kid did as best as he could in each subject area, that's good. If he did as best as he could in math but got a D, that's better than slacking and giving half effort to english, even if he did get an A.
 

Mike182

Flaming Queer
Your child comes home and has an A in Scince, A in History, B in English and a D in Math. Which grade would you concentrate most on and why?

i would certainly praise the A grades, hell i would be pleased with all of those! though if there were more exams coming up, i would possibly get my child a maths tutor to help boost that grade to a C.
 

Ever learning

Active Member
There could be a reason for the D, one of my kids has dyslexia, so a D in german and english was quiet normal. You find out what the problem is and work on it. In any case you need to get your kid the help it needs(tutoring or therapy) and lots of encouragement and oportunities to be excellent at the things they do enjoy. my daughter likes to draw for instance, so I got her plenty of books (on different technics) and drawing supplies, so she has gotten very good at that. Now it´s "hip hop dancelessons".:)
 

blackout

Violet.
As "interest/talent/personal goal" guided "un?schoolers"
my 15 year old has never once recieved a "grade" in her life.
(nor my 8 year old)
"Grade" expectations as well in terms of "first grade" "second grade" etc....
are also nothing rigid to me.
Just sort of an organized forward movement flow chart...
to serve as a general guide.

I feel I must MAKE the "lesson plan" fit the child,
NOT the other way around.

As their mentor in life...
I observe them,
talk to them...
give them creative tools
to help them grow in "self motivation" and "self-mastery"...

but do not tie them to "systemic" time tables,
rigid expectations and one size fits all "cirriculums" or "assignments".
Really I give suggestions, tools, and demonstrations/explinations more than "assignments".
We discuss things, explore ideas, and check things out together.
I share in the organic learning flow and enjoyment with them.
They really do the rest astonishingly well on their own.

As I see it,
We each learn best in differing ways...
so if a thing is necessary to a childs future life and goals...
we need to find both the TIMING and the way...
that helps most effectively bring about understanding and enlightenment
for that particular child.

Sometimes it is just a matter of readyness.
Try to force it too soon=
nothing but failure and unhappiness.
When the readyness kicks in,
smooth sailing.
and nothing is lost in the end
(but tears and frustration)

know what I mean?

I have no IDEA how I could live by these ideals with my kids
if they went to school.
That is why I choose to guide their education myself.

Every situation however holds creative solutions.
So we all do the best we can in both the conditions we make and "find ourselves" in.
 

Smoke

Done here.
I wonder just how many kids have given up because of their parents attitude about grades?
I don't know. I had the most problems in middle school, but it wasn't because of my parents or their attitude. I did well in elementary school, because we could work at our own pace, and in high school, because we could pick our classes (within reason). In middle school, the curriculum was very standardized, and I was bored. Plus that's when I discovered the joy of ditching school, and figured out that you could get away with a lot at school before the staff really felt compelled to do anything about it. Plus, being the short skinny *** with glasses, I felt like I didn't fit in very well, and didn't want to. But I don't think my parents would have been very successful at demanding that I be allowed to work at my own pace, and my middle school didn't believe in advanced classes.

There are all kinds of reasons a kid can have bad grades, and sometimes it is the kid's fault. (Like, he didn't go to class all semester.) But I think more often it's because the school and the parents aren't working together to make sure he's getting what he needs. It's a hard thing: If you're a teacher and you've got six classes with 35 kids each, how do you make sure the ones who are doing well stay challenged and interested without making the ones who aren't doing so well feel overwhelmed and hopeless? It might be the teacher's job, but in the end, it's the parents who make the difference.
 

jacquie4000

Well-Known Member
I don't know. I had the most problems in middle school, but it wasn't because of my parents or their attitude. I did well in elementary school, because we could work at our own pace, and in high school, because we could pick our classes (within reason). In middle school, the curriculum was very standardized, and I was bored. Plus that's when I discovered the joy of ditching school, and figured out that you could get away with a lot at school before the staff really felt compelled to do anything about it. Plus, being the short skinny *** with glasses, I felt like I didn't fit in very well, and didn't want to. But I don't think my parents would have been very successful at demanding that I be allowed to work at my own pace, and my middle school didn't believe in advanced classes.

There are all kinds of reasons a kid can have bad grades, and sometimes it is the kid's fault. (Like, he didn't go to class all semester.) But I think more often it's because the school and the parents aren't working together to make sure he's getting what he needs. It's a hard thing: If you're a teacher and you've got six classes with 35 kids each, how do you make sure the ones who are doing well stay challenged and interested without making the ones who aren't doing so well feel overwhelmed and hopeless? It might be the teacher's job, but in the end, it's the parents who make the difference.


Middle school seems to play havoc on all your emotions. My son is in eigth grade and, and I can see a major difference in his moods. There is just so much going on at this time in a teenagers life.:)
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
I would compliment the good grades (unlike my parents who never mentioned my good grades), and try to find some help to help the bad ones.
I wouldn't be overly stressful on it though, as it might just be a subject they do not grasp well.
 

Ðanisty

Well-Known Member
My brother used to do terriable in most classes because he found school less then interesting, yet he was brillant. Not that this is the average case.
Actually, I would say this is pretty common.

Just don't be like my father-in-law. He's never praised my husband for anything. There was always something he could do better and he always heard about it. It's still like that to this day. He never congratulated us on getting married, never congratulated us on buying a house, etc. I'm starting to think he's actually programed to never say anything nice.
 
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