IM TERRIFIED!!!

Hello all, I am Amanda, I am 18 years old. Here is the thing.
Since February 13, 2004, I have had a feeling that something is about to happen to me or that I am about to die .

I think about this all day long. I thought maybe it was because I have been under alot of stress before then.
My brother got sent to prison in January 2003. Then,
I thought I might have had a possible HIV exposure in November 2003.
And, In December 2003 my Grandfather( whom I was very close to) started losing his battle with COPD, and for a month I was in and out of the hospital with him. Then,
In January 2004, he passed away...I was at his home when he passed away, and saw everyone go crazy over him.
Then after that I saw everyone go crazy, and all everyone talked about was death.

The thing that bothers me is I am one of those people I can say that a certain song is going to come on the radio, or a certain thing is going to come on TV and they do. Its like usually when I say something is going to happen it does and thats what scares me about me having this feeling.
I always see birds flying in front of me, like its meant for me to see it, or white butterflies, like its a sign. I know I am not psychic, and I know that no one knows when they are going to die, but WHY DO I HAVE THIS FEELING THAT I AM GOING TO DIE??? Is this a premonition or what?

I have been having bad headaches( at the top of my head and down my neck) and stomach aches sometimes...so I think I have something wrong with me like cancer in my stomach and I think I have a brain aneurysm because of my headaches because 3 people in my family have died from one, so it scares me. I have went to the doctor and got some blood taken to see why I have headaches, I will get the results next month and I also took an HIV test and I will get it back tomorrow, but I think im ok with that.

People ask me what am I so worried about death and why am I having this feeling, I am only 18.
Some people have told me because I have been getting really religious lately, that the devil is putting thoughts in my head trying to get me to go his way instead of following GOD. Is the devil putting bad and negative thoughts about me dying in my head to try to tur me from GOD?
I know GOD doesnt make bad things happen, and he wants everyone to live to be old but, is it the devil or is it GOD trying to tell me to get ready because I am dying?
I have prayed to GOD so many nights for the feeling to go away and to let me live to do things in life I havent got to do yet, I dont want to die right now.

Most people I tell this feeling to tells me that it is just because I have been going through alot and that its just panic attacks. Since my Grandfather passed, people says it makes me question my own mortality because I saw him die slowly because he was one of those people you never thought he would die...you know everyone does but I never thought that about him, he was so strong...and I guess it brought me to reality that everyone is really going to die.

I had a cousin that said after my Grandfather passed she had the same feeling for a few days and I have a best friend that said when her Grandmother died she said she had the feeling to for a few days, but I have had it for months. Why???

So I just want advice about this issue because it is scaring me to death.
Does alot of people have this feeling that they are going to die?
Does me predicting things that are happening, and me seeing things a sign that I am going to die?
Do you think my headaches and stomach pains are stress and anxiety related?
Why am I having this feeling??? Please give me a reply and advice.
Thank You all and GOD BLESS!!!

k, for starters, you wouldn't see a brain aneurysm coming, so your symptoms are doubtly that. Secondly your young, and by the way you discussed your relation ship with your grandfather, shows that the two of you were very close, and his death could easily cause you to think and examine your own mortality. Who knows, maybe you are seeing signs, i'm religious, and believe in some things we don't understand, but what you are going through is normal. The more you think about cancer, and a brain aneurysms the more you are going to feel "symptoms" of them, i don't know why that is, but thats what happens. Your probably fine. The best thing you can do is not worry, live your life as if you would die tomorow (no regrets), but act like you'll be around forever( so you don't get out of hand). Think about what you are saying, if a divine body was telling you its your time to go (which i doubt, but who am i really to say) then its your time to go, and God is the type to do whats best for each individual, but i'll drop the religiouse point for now. There is a better chance that you are ok, then not. I am not a doctor so i can't tell you 100% , but based on the way you "feel" that is perfectly normal, for someone worring of dieing, and after a death in the family has occured

I feel as if it is stress, This comes and goes with age but it is something to deal with. If you need anyone to talk with this is the perfect place and people here can give you advice and direction.

Try to think of life as the future of youself and that everything will pass.

You will be in all of our thoughts and hope you post more so that we may be able to help you in your time of need.

Rex

Like Rex, I would suggest focusing on things ahead of you, things to look forward to, things that you are interested in, so you get out of this period when things around you seem to be ending. You'll be fine! Hopefully you can get a little more control over events that effect you - until then, be very careful about assuming you have supernatural abilities or that things happen that you were meant to see, it can have nasty consequences. Just assume it's balony, and you'll be right.

Hi Amanda, you certainly have been through a lot of stressful situations. First of all, there is no Devil so you can stop worrying that the Devil is putting these things in your head. I think you have experienced stress and you are having some anxiety. Also, you are 18. Usually that means you go to college or go out on your own. You may be having some anxiety about being on your own. It might not be a bad idea to talk to a professional to help you get through this stressful period. You are still young enough that you could have used the comfort of the adults around you, but it sounds like they were preoccupied with their own grief. PM me if you want to talk more.

i am in a similar boat yet not quite as bad whenever i see a progamme about people having a terminal illness it just reinforces my feeling that one day i will have a terminal illness, this is because i really identified with beth from little woman when she told her sister (knew she was dying) that it was okay because she wasnt like the others she didnt have a plan like the others she never though about the future she never felt she had one.

its a depressing feeling like every ache and pain could be something deeper or underlying you convince yourself that the head ache is a anyurism or that the pain in your stomack is actually cancer.

although i still have these feelings i think it has a lot to do with our ages we have never really lost anyone close to us until now (grandad too about feb) or we have never really been old enough to understand the impact of death.

my suggestion dont ignor the feelings you cant just think of reasons to live GOD LOVES YOU (i am of different religion but the general emphesis in all religions tends to be this) and although bad things do happen you need to believe that the pains you suffer are jsut normal pains.

this probably hasnt helped i just wanted you to know i KNOW how you feel.


WHAT WILL HELP WATCH A COUPLE OF EPISODES OF SIX FEET UNDER IT HAS LITERALLY CHANGED MY WHOLE PERSPECTIVE OF DEATH. :talk:

PS MY NAMES AMANDA TOO

Amanda, blessed,

My advice to both of you is to just take a little time to heal. You've both been through very traumatic times, and it's only natural to feel out of wack. Surround yourselves with frinds and family who love and care for you. Like Alaric said, find hobbies and keep yourselves busy so you don't have so much time to focus on negative thoughts. Laugh as much as possible, and make it your first priority to have fun and be relaxed!

Amanda, whether your health problems are unlikely or not, be sure to keep in touch with your doctor. If anything, she can help to assure you that you're going to be ok. It's always better safe than sorry!

Amanda--

My advice would be to talk to a minster of your Christian denomination, call a teen crisis hotline, or your school guidance counselor. Go on the web or visit the library and read about the stages of grief and how to deal with it. Talk to trusted friends/adults, and tell them about the feelings you are experiencing.

When I was young I thought the same thing. The fact is the days are evil and you dont know when you are going to die. I could die right now talking about it. You have gotten into the habit of thinking about death and you want to break it. Just know just because you get the feeling you are going to die doesnt mean you are going to die. I agree with what many have told you. It could be stress, it could be you see yourself not living christ like and it could be the death of your grandfather. I will pray for you and hope that you feel better as I am sure many who have read this will do the same. As someone else suggested take your concerns to family or trusted friends. You will be find just trust God and pray that he takes those thoughts away. Whenever you do think of those thoughts just simply find something that distracts you. I know when I have heavy thoughts on my mind I simply do one of three things. Pray, read the bible or play fetch with my Golden retriever "Cap" and eventually my thoughts of bad things go away.
This could also be a sign from God, not that you are going to die but when that time comes are you ready.

God loves you and so does his followers
I will pray for you and your strength to overcome the things that are playing hard on your heart and mind. For both of you.
Caleb

hey, you shouldn't worry, everyone deals with grief in very different ways. The headaches could be to do with the pressure that you're under and your 'premonition' could be down to you being surounded by talk of death-what others say sticks in the back of your mind and can express itself in all kinds of ways. And hey, just look at it this way-every one is going to die-you might aswell go when you still have your own teeth-I sure hope I will! (but then I have many issues)! Truly-if you are a true Christian then surely you will believe that you go straight to heaven to eternal life with God (or so I was told in religious studies) -so you should be looking forward to it-unless you've been bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mg: arty:

Dear Amanda,

When God talks to us, you will have peace and love.

Devil likes to make people fear and worry.

I want to say pray and read the Word, but I think some very practical things are to get together with positive minded people, have fun together, go do something that brings you happiness. Dive into something that you are passionate about. Pretty soon, you will find that you have no more room in your brain and heart to worry.

Fill you life with light of Christ. Fill you life with good thing. Go out and help someone this weekend. Give and love.

You can sit there and analyze why you are feeling the way you are, or you can just start making changes and let love push out fear in your life.

Joy

Hello Amanda. I have a good friend named Amanda I call her Amy.

From what you said, that you are getting quite religious,I am assuming that you are new to the faith.That being the fact, I read in that, there are many things you are still needing to learn.

One of the first things necessary for living a Christian life is trust in the one you follow.What I see in your post is not that you don't trust God but that you don't really know what it means.Satan is the ultimate liar but he is also much craftier then we.

Your sense of dying is based on that lack of knowledge of trusting In Jesus.Do not take that as a personal charge. It is inheirant in all of us.

We must learn to trust.That is one reason why we have difficulties in life.If we ask why me, then we are fighting the game plan.That seems a bit odd to many but it is in our difficulties that God is strong (if we allow HIM to be).

My suggestion to you is to delve into the Proverbs.A lack of understanding is your weakness at this time.As you read the Proverbs try to intertwine the Book of Job with it.

Remember this Amanda, everything that is produced recieves a test to determine its strength.God Created us and the trials that we recieve in life allow HIM to strengthen us but we must be alert to HIS voice.

When you hear those thoughts about dying remember that God and God alone knows the number of your days.Satan does not and niether do you.God is allowing these thoughts so that you can look to HIM, put your trust in HIM and then move on in life knowing that whatever your day, it will be HIS timing and that when you die, from this life, you will attain that Eternal life which is so much more precious then what we now have.

That is what we live to attain Amanda, always think on heaven as your home not this life.

If you can find peace in that then you will view life in a completely different way.

A favorite song of mine says it all, 'Just as I am'.

My prayer for you is that God will bless you with wisdom,knowledge and understanding for they truely are more prescious then gold or silver.

live life to the fullest.

and death is the next greatest adventure.